


Dogged Determination

by Africanwilderness



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Alpha Olivia/Omega Alex, Angst, Animalistic Magnetism, Conflict of Interests, Court Case, Developing Relationship, F/F, Fluff/Smut, Impulse Control, In The Genes, Monthly Cycle, Protective Olivia, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-03-07 15:31:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 67
Words: 150,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13437795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Africanwilderness/pseuds/Africanwilderness
Summary: A unique take on the conflict between visceral desire and professional boundaries during a SVU case.Alex (a recent victim) meets her assigned handler, Detective Benson.





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> Hope there are still some Cabenson fans out there.  
> I'll change the rating with each chapter but all will involve a certain level of angst and sexual tension.  
> Please remember to leave kudos/comments.  
> Feedback very much appreciated.  
> Thanks and enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia Benson and Alexandra Cabot meet for the first time.  
> Some kick ass put downs by Alex.
> 
> Rating: Mature Content

Bellvue Hospital 

‘A young woman, found this morning in Central Park…’ I begin, raising my badge as we approach the nurse bank.

‘This way,’ a doctor interrupts, recognising Elliot and I as special victims.

‘Any ID?’ I ask as we follow, Elliot easily keeping pace.

‘None, a mugging gone wrong, maybe,’ the doctor assumes, making an educated guess.

‘Any fluids?’ El asks as the doctor stops beside a closed door.

‘Plenty,’ she answers, opening the door and nodding for us to go inside. El and I enter the room and walk towards the young woman lying in the hospital bed. The woman doesn’t stir. ‘She’s medically sedated as she gave one of the paramedics one hell of a left hook,’ the doctor explains as she checks the monitors for any abnormalities. ‘She’ll be out for at least another half hour so its up to you whether you hang around.’ Finding the monitor readings to be sufficiently stable, the doctor leaves the room.

I look at the woman laying unconscious in the bed in front of me. She has almost certainly been beaten, evidenced by the purplish hues colouring her left eye. Her skin is porcelain pale and illuminous against the darkened bruising. Her neck is covered with more bruises. I lean slightly over her, noting teeth marks. Her forearms, placed over the bed covers, have similar injuries, her wrists show signs of restraints. _Possible rope burns_ , I wonder as my eyes travel back to Jane Does face.

‘Liv?’ Elliot interrupts my perusal. ‘Mind if I head out to finish that paperwork for court?’ He asks, knowing he can’t afford a thirty-minute wait.

‘Sure, El. I’ll stay,’ I affirm easily. Elliot Stabler and I have been partners for four years. I trust him more than anyone I’ve ever known. He wouldn't walk for no reason.

Once he leaves the room, I continue my perusal of the young woman: probably late 20’s, early 30’s, thin but not malnourished, long and willowy limbs, flowing flaxen hair, astonishingly beautiful even when beaten. There is a determined air to the jut of her jaw and a graceful elegance to her cheekbones. _Somebody will miss her,_ I know with certainty. Suddenly self-conscious, I turn to the door to ensure no one is observing the thoughts in my head. I smile as I realise the absurdity of this concern. I feel my cheeks burn and a shiver run thru my body as I turn back to her. My pulse quickens and my palms moisten as I wonder about the colour of her eyes, the tone of her voice, her name. _She’s a victim Olivia!_ I check myself, fully aware of my immediate attraction to this battered and achingly beautiful victim. I take a deep breath to settle my nerves as I sit down beside her, wanting to be a reassuring presence once she wakes.

 

Sometime later

She opens her right eye, blinking to refocus her vision in the brightly lit room. She quickly notices me sat in a chair beside her. ‘Please,’ she says hoarsely, trying to gain my attention. Unbeknowst to her, my attention is already completely engaged. I stand immediately and approach the bed. ‘Please…’

‘Hi, I’m Detective Olivia Benson. You're at the hospital...’

‘PLEASE…’ she says more firmly, interrupting me. ‘The light… Bright…’

Immediately understanding, I hurry to the dimmer switch, turning the light down. ‘Is that better?’ I ask, my fingers still on the switch just in case.

‘Yes,’ the woman replies hoarsely.

I walk back to the bed, ‘I’m Detective Olivia Benson, what’s your name?’ My eyes soften as I watch Jane Doe claw at her throat. I reach for the pitcher of water and pour some into a glass, offering the straw to her to drink.

She takes some tentative drags of the water. She winces as the cold liquid passes her raw voice box. ‘Alex. Alexandra Cabot,’ she says quietly, her voice straining against the chain saw in her throat. ‘Thank you.’

I sit back down in the chair, my heart racing as I notice how cloudy blue Alex’s open eye is, aqua blue with a hint of grey. _Concentrate Detective! This isn’t about you_ _._ I give myself the same reproach I use to avoid killing the paedophiles I have the pleasure of interviewing most days. 'Hi Alex, you're at Bellvue Hospital. You were assaulted last night.' I say the words I loathe as I remind her why she is here. 'Alex, can you tell me what happened?’

 

Ten minutes later

 

‘I got to the edge of the park…they caught me…dragged me back in,’ Alex rasps as she recalls last night's events.

‘They? How many?’ I ask, trying desperately to concentrate on her words as her tongue parts her lips in thought. Alex looks directly at me for the first time. I note her gaze holds more determination than I’ve ever seen in a victim's eyes, as I meet Alex’s piercing orb.

'Two, no three of them… I screamed with all my strength… No one helped me,’ Alex whispers as she breaks eye contact. A shiver travels thru me in response to the power of Alex’s gaze and the desperation in her words. _Oh god..._ I lower my head to my notebook to will my thoughts away. The anger simmering inside me on Alex’s behalf is near impossible to subdue. I swallow hard before I meet Alex's gaze once more. 

‘Two or three Alex?’ I ask softly, my conflicting need to support and investigate fighting for priority.

‘Three,’ Alex rasps. ‘Two tied me down. The third came later... after they left me like that,’ Alex whispers as she closes her eye and winces in memory.

My heart rate spikes as I begin to comprehend what Alex is saying. ‘You were tied down and assaulted by two men, then a separate man raped you later that same night?’ I clarify, swallowing as I find myself wondering how someone can rape an already brutalised woman. Alex nods her head in answer. ‘Alex, can you describe these men?’

 

The Bullpen

‘Where the hell was the good Samaritan? Why didn't he help a woman who'd obviously been raped?’ I nearly shout, not knowing why I'm so pissed off, but knowing I'm more pissed off than I should professionally be.

‘What’s got into you Liv?’ Elliot asks, sat across from me at his desk. I feel the beginnings of a blush under my partners scrutiny. ‘What’s going on?’ he presses. Fin and Munch turn from their paperwork at Elliot’s question.

‘I just don’t get why the bastard would assault an already brutalised and vulnerable woman instead of helping her, that’s all,’ I answer, knowing this isn’t truly why I'm reacting this way. My answer thankfully satisfies Elliot enough to quit questioning me further.

 

Bellvue Hospital

‘Alex?’ I say softly, waking Alex as Elliot stands back, taking in her battered form.

‘Detective,’ she replies, as she opens both eyes, her voice stronger but her tone still naturally deep. ‘Detectives,’ she corrects on seeing my partner. 

El approaches her bed to introduce himself. ‘Detective Elliot Stabler. I’m Detective Benson’s partner. Benson says you gave us detailed descriptions of your attackers,’ he continues, wishing her to know she has done well.

Alex gazes at Elliot with quiet intensity, ‘I’m a trained attorney, Detective. Detail is my job,’ she says practically, distancing the complement from the bigger meaning. I smile at her words. I immediately lower my head to hide my eyes. ‘Have you apprehended any of them?’ Alex asks, looking at me.

I raise my head, hoping my eyes don't show my admiration. ‘I’m afraid not Alex but we have three detailed descriptions thanks to you and three strains of DNA which are being run through the database. Any hits and we’ll be on it,’ I answer fully. Elliot looks at me briefly. I ignore him. ‘We need to know if anyone holds a grudge against you: any boyfriends…?’ I leave the rest of the sentence unsaid.

Alex’s gaze penetrates mine as she evaluates the question. My heart stops and I find myself drawn into her very soul. ‘A number of people hold grudges against me for no other reason than they need to hold a grudge against somebody… No boyfriends.’ 

For a moment both Elliot's and my mind come to the same conclusion as we try not to look at each other: _How can she not have had ex boyfriends? Alex is a flaxen haired goddess with piercing blue eyes and..._  

‘When you say a number of people hold a grudge, who and what do you mean?’ Elliot asks, interrupting his and my train of thought.

‘Most women don’t like me, think I’m a boyfriend stealing bitch,’ Alex says honestly, her eyes finally leaving mine as she looks at Elliot. 

‘And are you a boyfriend stealing bitch?’ He asks quickly, knowing most men would easily leave their girlfriends, partners, wives for a woman like Alex.

‘I don’t nor have I ever had boyfriends Detective Stabler,’ Alex replies impatiently, obviously thinking she had already answered the question. Both Elliot and I look at her for a moment. When we still don’t overtly click, Alex continues, exasperated: ‘I’m not attracted to men.'

I already clicked but did not wish to openly admit it so put my head down again, to stop myself from openly staring at the beautiful woman in front of us. My heart beat is now a relentless surge, my palms slick with sweat. When I raise my eyes, Alex is looking at me, ‘Have I said something wrong, Detective?’ I bite my lip.

‘Have you had to spurn men as a result?’ I question quickly, not liking the feelings this woman is igniting in my gut.

Alex lowers her gaze to her wrists; I imagine the rope burns still ache and chafe after days of ointment. ‘Yes.’ 

‘Can you tell us more about any recent cases?’ Elliot follows my line of questioning, his notebook primed.

Alex gives a humourless laugh, as she shakes her head her golden hair spills down her shoulders. ‘I don’t know whether it's because I make myself unavailable, but I find a lot of people don’t believe me and see me as someone they can and will break down. Somehow, I will miraculously _like_ them once I’ve met them, once they’ve asked me out, once they’ve kissed or touched me,’ I lower my head again, trying not to show how akin to Alex I feel at this moment. 

‘Are you saying you have been forcibly kissed and/or touched?’ Elliot asks, scribbling in his notebook.

Alex raises her gaze to Elliot, ‘Yes, Detective Stabler, I have been harassed throughout my life. From the moment I hit puberty to four nights ago. When you ask me to remember more recent cases, I can tell you that none of the men who assaulted me that night have harassed me before. I remember every face,’ Alex finishes, her tone simmering with anger.

‘You need to find yourself another job,’ Elliot says insensitively. Both Alex and I look at him, insulted. My expression radiates: back the fuck off.

‘I work for a law firm Detective Stabler. At the Christmas party, one of my ‘colleagues’ groped me. He was the reason I forgot my purse, was the reason I left without anyone walking me home. I didn’t want to have to explain my leaving to anyone. If I run away from every job in which I'm harassed, I would be on the dole Detective.’ Having made herself clear, Alex’s icy gaze leaves Elliot’s face. He steps back. I involuntarily throb in admiration of her spirit.

‘Please accept my apology on behalf of Detective Stabler, Alex,’ I offer sincerely, waiting for Alex to meet my gaze. Alex gives a small nod in affirmation. ‘Would you like us to investigate your colleague?’

This makes Alex smile. ‘No, he’s already received a written warning. He’ll be kicked off the board soon enough. I’d rather you concentrate on the three men who assaulted me,’ Alex answers, her eyes lowering once more. ‘What more can I do to help?’

‘You can help by getting better. You have done all you can for now. Once we have more, we’ll let you know,’ I say as comfortingly as I can before I stand, knowing there is no further reason for me to stay at this point. 

‘Olivia?’ I stop near the door, my body shivering at the sound of my name on Alex’s lips.

I turn to her, ‘Yes Alex?’

‘Please find the hells spawn before they do it again,’ she requests, her deep blue orbs wide and determined as she faces me.

I nod my head and swallow, suddenly losing my ability to speak as I walk out the door.

 

The Bullpen

'This is complete bullsh...'

'Liv!' Cragen interrupts my diatribe. 'The paramedic has every right to press charges,' he repeats as Elliot gives him a heavy look.

'Cap, she's a rape victim who probably thought she was being assaulted again. Her actions were reflexive at best.' The room knows Elliot is right. However, when an overworked, underpaid member of the emergency services has had enough abuse and decides to take a stand, the NYPD has to take note. No matter how unfortunate that the stand is against a victim of a heinous crime.

My anger is not dissipating. I'm realising that these feelings aren't normal. Other victims have gotten under my skin but I know my reaction to Alex is different. I'm caring too much about this victim. I feel physically sick that this is not the only emotion fuelling my anger. Whenever I'm in Alex's presence, I feel a twinge in my heart and as disturbingly, between my legs. When Alex tore into El, I felt the pulses of liquid heat forming in my abdomen, the shivers of excitement rippling through my body as every nerve ending surged towards my groin. Right now, I feel my urges growing as I sit at my desk, thanking fates that I've worn black pants. I've never lusted after a rape victim before. _You are sick,_ I tell myself. _But those cloudy blue eyes..._

The fact I'm not 'out' only complicates the situation as I know I should inform Cragen. I trust Don Cragen, like an uncle, so know my orientation wouldn't go further. I know I'll be taken off the case if I tell him. This is what will truly cause questions to be asked.

When Alex spoke of the harassment she has experienced, I recognise it. This harassment is part sexual, part homophobic. Some men can't handle a beautiful woman being out of their reach. _How dare she be unobtainable?! How dare she be untouchable, unfuckable?!_ I've seen it in the NYPD, seen many men and woman ridiculed due to their orientation to the detriment of their health and eventually their careers. Homophobia is rife, even in this special victim's precinct. The number of slurs I've heard during my daily duties make my insides knot and my feelings of cowardly guilt at not being myself fade but never entirely disappear. I bite my lip as I lean forward in my chair, flicking through paperwork to distract myself.

'Liv.' I raise my head quickly, belatedly noticing Elliot standing right beside my desk. 'We gotta go, Warner has something.' We grab our jackets as we hurry to the elevator.

 

Medical Examiners Office

'We got a hit,' Warner says triumphantly, holding the result file up in front of her. Elliot takes the file whilst I look at Warner pointedly.

'Why not just call us?' I ask, impatient that time has been wasted. Warner gives me the tiniest smirk. 'That’s not all...' I conclude from the coroner's expression. Warner nods briefly.

'We have a repeat offender. This DNA matched another Central Park rape four years ago. The victim was trussed up against a tree and raped repeatedly throughout the night. The perp left the victim tied up until she was found by a good Samaritan that morning. The victim...'

'I remember... Kate Reisner. She was gay,' I suddenly interrupt Warner. The coroner nods.

'Hate crime?' Elliot stipulates, looking up from the file. I glance quickly at my partner.

'We didn’t find him, a ghost in the wind.... There was one set of DNA in Kate's case. She remembers one man. Why would he team up?' I ask as I begin to pace the office, trying to figure out why a perp would take the unusual step of changing his MO.

'We found semen at the scene from two of the three perps,' Warner says as she takes the folder from Elliot.

'So, the perp was missing something the first time. Watching was the get off,' Elliot concludes as he wonders how a man can get off on watching rape.

'The second batch of DNA got a match too.' Both Elliot and I look at Warner again. 'It seems to be in the family...' she starts, as I take the file this time.

'Father/Son?' I ask her.

'Ninety seven percent sure. He's still in college. Manhattan Polytechnic. Joel Ashton.' 

 

Manhattan Polytechnic

'Detectives Stabler and Benson, we are looking for Joel Ashton,' Elliot flashes his badge as he approaches the reception desk. The elderly woman tips her glasses further up her nose as she examines our badges. 'Ma'am, we need to find him now,' Elliot presses, getting the feeling this could take a while.

As El attempts to hurry the woman along, I hear my cell. I look at the caller ID: unknown number. I almost don’t answer it, as I notice my partner gesturing for me to follow him. _Fuck it_.

'Benson?'

'Detective,' my stomach jumps as I recognise the voice. I gesture to Elliot to walk ahead.

'Alex?'

'Yes, hi. Um... I've realised... I don't.... I don't have any appropriate clothing for my injuries,' Alex says quickly before pausing. 'I didn’t know who else to call.' I swallow the lump in my throat as I comprehend her meaning. _How can a spirited, flaxen haired beauty be this alone?_

'What do you need?' I ask without judgement, probably surprising Alex. 'Some more sweat pants and oversized jumpers or do you need something without a waist band?' She gives such a relieved sigh that I become worried, 'Alex? What do you need?'

'Understanding,' Alex replies as my stomach knots with anguish. 'Without a waist. No rush, I can imagine you're busy Detective,' Alex continues.

'We'll be with you when we can. We'll be there today, okay,' I try to reassure her whilst being mindful to use 'we' instead of 'I' to remind myself of our professional relationship.

'Thankyou Detective,' Alex says before she hangs up. I slowly pull my cell away from my ear.

'Who was that?' Elliot asks, as I catch up with him.

'Alex Cabot. She doesn’t have any loose clothing,' I say before I realise how that must sound. 'As in I assume she has lots of suits for her job but...'

'And silk lingerie for bedtime,' El quips, taking me by surprise. 'Joel Ashton turned up for college.'


	2. Liv's Dread/Alex's Vulnerability

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia faces her core fears.  
> Cragen links past and present cases.  
> Alex's vulnerability is intimately revealed.
> 
> Rating: Very mature content.

The Bullpen

El throws Joel into the holding cell. He squealed like a baby as soon as we levelled his DNA against him. 'Cap, we got him, but he's not saying where daddy is,' Elliot says as we walk into Cragen's office.

Cragen is sat behind his desk, deep in thought as we enter. It takes him a minute to acknowledge us. 'Shut the door.' I close it, suddenly concerned. Both El and I wait for bad news.

When Cragen doesn’t speak, my partner pipes up, 'This seems too slick, too seamless. In this day, with DNA profiling pretty fool proof and every second documentary telling any would-be rapist how to cover their tracks, why would three men make it so clear to us that they are the perps. It just doesn’t make sense,' he voices what most of the squad has been thinking. 'Maybe daddy got cocky after not being traced four years ago. Or they're just thick as shit, or opportunists who couldn’t help themselves,' Elliot argues with himself, as I sip the cold coffee Fin made us. _The idea of them not being able to help themselves certainly parallels with Alex's disclosures_.

Cragen leans forward in his chair, 'I've got Munch and Fin on the third perp. Warner says his DNA comes back to a Ray Daniels, a homeless man who has priors for battery and sexual assault. They're interviewing him now. I need you to concentrate on the vic,' Cragen orders, looking at me. I'm taken aback, not expecting him to suddenly direct the conversation this way. 'El, I need you to work the squirt. Speak to Novak, see if a deal can open his mouth,' Cragen finishes and flips open a case file, his silent language for 'dismissed'.

'Captain?' I say, hoping Elliot won't turn and wait for me. Thankfully he is already walking to his desk, presumably to call Novak. Cragen looks up from his paperwork, his soft eyes giving me his full attention. I shut the door behind me and sit down opposite him. Suddenly having the opportunity to confide leaves my mouth bone dry. 'Captain, why am I concentrating on Al... the victim? Surely, I can help El, Fin and Munch.' I know the reason I'm saying this: I'm too much of a coward to say what I really intended to. But I'm also intrigued by this unusual split in duties.

'Liv, I need you to keep this between us,' Cragen begins, making the Detective in me jump with cautious excitement. 'I need you to take the lead on any interactions with the victim until I say otherwise.' My heart beats a celebratory rhythm.

'Why?' Questioning a head of department is not normal practice but I know Cragen appreciates my drive and input enough to allow a certain level of curiosity in his decision making.

'Just a gut feeling for now. Something about this case,' he says agreeing with El's earlier arguments, as he wipes his forehead.

'You don’t believe her?' I ask bluntly, my need to protect Alex forcing my anger to the surface.

Cragen looks at me with his kind eyes, 'Oh, I believe her Liv. Her rape kit said everything and more,' I nod, having read the physical myself. It is incredible that Alex hadn't needed surgery. In fact, the only reason she hadn't was because she had already had a hysterectomy. 'I need you to find out more about her past. She is making higher than the usual number of harassment allegations from what you and El were saying.'

'She doesn’t want to press charges, so they aren't allegations,' I argue pointedly before I remember who I'm speaking to. I have the grace to apologise.

Cragen waves my apology away with a flick of his hand. 'We need her to make positive ID's of both perps. I also need you to change that paramedics mind,' Cragen says, changing the subject.

'Cap, what's this about?' I press, not allowing him to avoid the half-finished subject. I wait until he looks me straight in the eye before finishing my sentence.

He sighs deeply, closes his eyes a moment then speaks, 'Liv, I worked her mothers and grandmother's cases. Both were victims of multiple rapes throughout their lives, particularly at their time of the month,' I gasp as I wonder where Cragen is going with this. 'Her mother killed herself at 31 when your victim was 4 years old. Her grandmother died from injuries sustained during her last assault aged 47, so before your victim was born.' I stare at Cragen, my body frozen. 'The grandmothers last assault was by an officer working her previous case,' _What the fuck?!_ 'That officer was my partner. He's currently serving life for kidnap, rape and second-degree murder.' _Oh god!_ 'So yes, Liv, I do believe Miss Cabot. I believe she has been and will continue to be in terrible danger.' Sudden understanding hits. I lower my eyes as I think of the pull I feel every time I think of Alex. 

I stand up abruptly as I try to shake off the nausea lurching in my gut. I grab the waste basket near the door as I try to control the spasms crawling up my throat. I lean against the window for support. 'Liv?' I hear him say as he puts his hands on my shoulders to lead me back to my seat. I lean forward, my head between my knees for several minutes, breathing in deep breathes, before the waves finally subside.

'Captain? What the actual hell is this?' I whisper heatedly, uncertain what to say, what to think, as I raise my head to look at my senior.

Cragen leans on his desk, beside me. 'The cases were sealed in the interest of all involved. It was hoped that Miss Cabot wouldn’t continue the...'

'The what? The line? The gene? The what?' I interrupt, trying to understand what the hell is making people forget themselves and their boundaries to assault innocent women, let alone innocent women from the same family. _Even me._ Cragen looks at me for the longest time. 'If we're talking about family genes, mine are half rapist. Are you sure I'm the right person for this?' I finally blurt out what is truly on my mind. _How can I keep her safe during the investigation?_

'Liv,' Cragen says quietly, knowing enough about my past to realise the trauma this position will cause. 'I know I'm putting you in an impossible position. I wish I could tell you exactly what's going on and how to handle it. But I don’t completely understand it myself. All I know is I felt the pull with the previous cases and I know every red-blooded straight man does and will. I need you to ascertain more information about her past and get a calendar together so she can take as many precautions as possible.'

'Sounds like victim blaming bullshit to me, Cap,' the anger surges in me as I get up from my seat and pace the small office. I run my fingers through my short brown hair as I try to grasp what he's saying.

'You know me better than that Liv,' he says in protest.

I halt my pacing to look at him, 'What stopped you?' I ask, the need to know so strong I would leave the NYPD to hear the answer. My ultimate fear is ending up like my faceless, rapist father.

'My Cap rota'd the male cops so no one spent enough time in their presence, especially during that time of the month.'

'What's enough time? And if that’s the case, how come your partner..?' I continue, hoping for any lead, any explanation that will rule me out as a potential, future rapist.

'You won't want to hear this Liv,' Cragen says, stopping himself as his eyes ask for my permission to continue. I nod slowly. 'He had it in him. He didn’t spend more than four hours with her at a time but that didn’t stop him. There are those who will and those who won't when given the opportunity. I can't play lottery with Miss Cabot's life. You are all I've got. I'm sorry Liv.'

I stand motionless for a full minute before I voice my core fear, 'What makes you think I'm immune to the pull? To her? I'm...' I feel my eyes moisten with fear and dread as I wonder how I'm going to keep Alex safe.

'You're strong Liv. You're also acutely aware of what you don't want to become,' he admits honestly.

'You're going to use my ultimate fear against me?' I spit, my fury raging thru my body as I consciously back away from him. Every fibre of my being wants to hurt him, really hurt him. This is the part of me that disturbs me most. I know I have it in me to hurt, my current rage reminds me of that. _Breathe_.

'My partner described the pull as his never-ending need to impregnate her so she would stay with him. This may explain why the perps didn’t use condoms,' Cragen hypothesizes, side stepping my question, as he walks over to me.

'But Alex doesn't have a uterus. I don’t understand why that pull, that time of the month would still apply if...'

'That’s what I need you to find out Liv,' Cragen says as he lays a hand on my shoulder. My body shakes to rid the toxicity invading my veins. 'I know Liv,' he sooths, 'If there was any other way, trust me, I'd take it.'


	3. Test

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia visits Alex's apartment.  
> Alex tests her.  
> Hormones controlling behaviour.
> 
> Rating: Some Explicit Content.

Alex's Apartment

'It's Detective Benson,' I announce as I knock on the door, holding my badge up in front of the peephole and standing far enough back so she can see that it's me. As I hear the numerous locks and bolts being opened, I take several deep breathes in an attempt to calm my nerves and the nauseating excitement. My body is on fire. 

Alex opens the door an inch, using the latch for some final protection, 'Just you?' She asks, scanning the hallway behind me. 

'Just me,' I confirm as she closes the door to remove the latch. The door finally opens. Following the meeting with Cragen, I know Alex’s request for clothing was a ruse. I don’t allow myself to think about how often she requires such clothing as I hand her the oversized onesies and fleece's before I truly look at her. Her lips give me a small smile in thanks. The bruising to her left eye is beginning to fade and the bite marks on her neck aren’t quite as stark against her illuminous skin. She is hiding behind black rimmed glasses and her hair is tied in a messy bun. _Help_ _me!_ Looking at her blindsides me so I begin to admire the impressive locks on her door. I soon realise I'm near panting as my body conspires against me. My stomach knots as I try to calm the animal needs washing over my crotch. _Fucks sake!_  

'Thank you, Detective,' she says as she watches me. 

'Are these newly installed Alex?' I ask, thankful I now have two possible avenues with which to begin this traumatic conversation. I try to distract my body by truly focusing in on the array of locks. But as soon as I hear her voice, my body begins to shiver. 

'No, they’ve been here a long time,' she answers as she pushes it closed. 'Don’t worry, I haven't locked it,' she reassures me. _If only she knew what I'm thinking._ _What makes it worse is she no doubt does!_ My heart jumps a beat as I try to gain control of myself. 

'Were these locks already here when you moved in?' I say, trying to sound nonchalant as I continue exploring them. 

'Some of them,' Alex replies. I can feel her staring at me from where she stands, beside me. We remain like this for what feels like an eternity as I avoid Alex's gaze and she tries to regain mine.  

'If Detective Stabler had been here, would you have let him in?' I enquire boldly, my hands slick with sweat and my heart beating out of my chest as I wait for her reply. I can feel Alex glancing at me, evaluating my threat level and I find I am unable to stop myself from looking at her. Her face is pale, her lips slightly parted, her intoxicating eyes wide and intense as I watch the meaning ruminate in her mind. 

‘Give me your gun and cuffs Detective,’ Alex asks abruptly. My soul hurts at her reasoning why. She fears I may hurt her like Cragen’s partner did her grandmother. 

Knowing it’s a felony to give my piece to a civilian, I remove my cuffs and empty my guns mag and chamber onto the counter top instead. I feel stupidly proud of myself for completing this task without my hands shaking. 

'Sit down Detective,' Alex requests firmly. I obey, walking to her sofa and sitting down. I wait as she locks the door then follows me to the sofa, sitting opposite me. She takes a deep breath before she raises her head to look me straight in the eye. 'What do you know?' These four words almost break my heart. My heart momentarily stops its battering of my chest cavity as I drink in her aura. My body and mind at cross purposes. 

'What would you feel comfortable telling me?' I reflect back to her, wishing for her to have the control. She stands abruptly and walks to the open plan kitchen, turning on the tap as she reaches for a glass. Recognising her need to steady herself, I give her time to find her voice.  

'Would you like a drink?' She offers as she pours herself a glass of water. 

'No, thank you,' I say, watching as she takes small sips before she refills the glass and glides back to the sofa. Even battered and bruised, her elegance and grace entrance me. 

Alex sets the glass down then draws her hands through her luscious hair, pulling some of it out of the bun. 'Before I say anything, I need to make sure you aren't recording me.' She gestures for me to stand. I do. 'Do you mind if I check to see if you're wired?' I shake my head, unable to speak due to being completely mesmerized by the idea she is about to touch me.  

She walks right up to me, meets my eyes, before she bends her knees and starts gliding her hands up my calves searching for wires, a walkie-talkie, a cell, another weapon. It takes everything for me to remain still as Alex's hands travel up towards my thighs before she cups my bottom. I curl my hands around my belt to harness my need to touch her. My nails cut into my palms as I attempt to restrain my urges. _Please act like this is normal,_ I plead as the hunger shoots through me. Every drop of blood gathers at my crotch. The urge to thrust against the friction in my jeans is almost unbearable. I'm wet, so very wet.  

Alex finds my cell. Once she turns it off and puts it down, Alex moves her hands to my shirt-collar. 'Please can you open your blouse so I can check.' I notice her hands are shaking. 

'You know this isn't right, don’t you?' I finally have the strength to say as Alex lowers her hands. 

'What I'm going to tell you isn't right. Please understand, it's to ease my anxiety and paranoia,' she responds, her eyes huge as she waits for me to open my blouse. I'm not ashamed of my body but I'm ashamed of what my body is doing as I undo the buttons and hold it open for her. My chest is noticeably heaving as my shallow breathes strain for oxygen. 'I'm sorry,' she whispers, as she turns away to allow me to button up privately. I attempt to lower my heart rate as my pulse thumps deafening decibels in my ears. I'm near hyperventilating as I give my hips a gentle thrust to ease some of the tension tightening my abdomen. As my clit glides against the seam of my pants, I almost lose myself entirely. I glance at Alex; she has turned and is watching me closely. My face blushes crimson as I realise I’ve been caught out. I look away, ashamed. 

'I did that for two reasons Detective. The first you already know. Can you guess the second?' I finally look in Alex's directions, noticing a challenging gaze behind her glasses. I take another deep breath as I find my voice. 

'To see whether I can control myself?' I breathe out, knowing I'm doing a piss poor job of concealing my bodies reaction to her.  

Alex nods solemnly, 'Yes.'  This heart-breaking answer brings me back from the brink; it echoes the pain, trauma and loss etched into the soul of her cloudy blue eyes.  

'What if I hadn’t been able to control myself, Alex?' I ask the obvious question, as I suddenly feel the full force of her scrutiny. Alex doesn’t speak, instead she watches me for several minutes. I realise she's watching me like a spooked dear, standing her ground. 

I finally have my breathing under control before she utters another word. ‘Sit down Olivia,’ Alex requests breathlessly. I'm aware Alex's heart is hammering for different reasons. Realising this, I'm ashamed as another involuntary shiver jolts through me on hearing Alex use my name. We both sit down. Alex takes another deep breath and pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose before she glances at me. 'It began with my grandmother. I'm assuming Captain Cragen told you about her, my mother and I?' I'm slightly taken aback that Alex speaks of the Cap but then sensibility hits. With the files sealed, Cragen would have had to gain permission to breach information sharing regs. _Alex._ Alex observes my evolving understanding for a moment. 'I don’t know how it began, I don’t know why it's continuing but it stops here,' Alex says with absolute conviction. 

'Your hysterectomy,' I conclude, voicing my understanding as I wonder what life must be like being Alex Cabot. 

'It wasn’t actually my choice but I thought it would have its benefits. I thought maybe it would stop my body releasing pheromones. I wasn’t going to have children for obvious reasons. How can I allow my child to go through this?' Alex winces as she looks past me. 

'You didn’t want your child to suffer,' I say, reminding her of my presence in the room.  

Alex nods slowly, biting her lip as she goes somewhere dark and terrifying in her mind, 'The first time, I was 11. I had just started my period and I suddenly noticed my classmates and teachers, even my brother and step father's, behaviour changing towards me. They would follow me around and fight each other for my attention. I found it incredibly confusing as one day I was this unpopular, geeky kid, the next I'm surrounded by potential suitors. I soon realised I didn’t have a choice when a particular suitor won the fight or got me on my own. I was theirs to take as they had 'won' the right. My mother was dead and my brother and step father were scaring me so I ran away from home and went to live with my best friend and her parents. It was a happy home for about a month until I woke to find her father in bed with me. I ran away again,' Alex stops, to look at me. 'Are you with me?' I look into her cloudy blue eyes with as much empathy as I can muster before she continues. 'My mothers and grandmothers cases were sealed as it could be seen akin to victim blaming. Can you imagine a rapist going to court saying he couldn’t help himself because his victim was giving off hormones that made it nearly physically impossible for him to stop himself?' Alex asks vehemently, as the absurdity of the argument rings in my own ears. 

'It's not physically impossible to stop yourself,' I say, suddenly realising the absolute impact of Alex's earlier test.  

'Exactly,' she nods her head vigorously, waving her index finger to deepen the point. 'Why did you stop yourself Olivia?' Alex asks bluntly as her intense gaze pins me to the sofa. My heart races as I try not to get lost in her. 

'I'm an officer of the law,' I reply before immediately realising my mistake, thinking of her grandmother. 'No, I mean...' 

'It's okay Olivia,' Alex says in reassurance of my fuck up.  

'I want to help people. Why would I want to hurt you? I don’t want to hurt you,' I say honestly, finding my reasons. I realise the fears I spoke of in Cragen's office are being intelligently torn apart by the woman I am meant to be consoling. 'How are you doing this?'  

'I have a discreet calendar for you to keep so you'll know when to stay away from me,' Alex gets up from the sofa and disappears into one of the rooms I can only assume is her bedroom. _Stop!_ I shout my thoughts down. 

'Why does your body release hormones when you've had a hysterectomy?' I ask suddenly, wanting to understand how this is scientifically possible, how any of this is possible. 'And haven't I shown I can handle myself around you?' 

Alex comes back into the sitting room and hands me a tiny notebook calendar. I go to pains to ensure our skin doesn’t touch. I open it and see the slightest pen drag in the seam on THE days. 'I'm saying it's hormones because I have no actual idea what causes this now that I don’t have the hormone producing organs. I don’t have supplements. I should have hairs sprouting everywhere and slightly less feminine features.' Speaking of her features makes me discover them all over again. Alex's hair is starting to spill out of her messy bun, her glasses rest atop the bridge of her nose, her skin, besides her injuries, is flawless, her eyes strained but iridescent, her body willowy and graceful, her motion that of a ballet dancer. Her spirit and obvious intelligence elevate her from achingly beautiful to perfection. 

'Are you human?' I finally ask, having wondered this since the first time I saw her. I notice Alex blush. I'm uncertain whether it's anger or embarrassment colouring her features. 

'And no, today isn't the worst day and it took you a while to control yourself,' she looks at me seriously for a moment, ignoring my last question. My heart plummets because I realise she's right, if I had touched her at any point during her test, I wouldn’t have been able to control myself. _But I didn’t touch her. I_ _am controlling_ _myself,_ my mind argues firmly, as I try to ignore the nail wounds in my palms. 'See it this way, something in me is wired to attract numerous mates. My biology, from my smell to my voice, is engineered for this purpose. The problem is, I don’t want most of them and I don’t have the physical strength to fight them off. The horror of my life is waiting to see whether each person I come into contact with has enough self-control and conscience to fight the pull my body gives off. The only weapon I have is hiding myself away during the worst 'in heat' days,' Alex's voice breaks as she explains the horrifically disturbing truth of her existence, always wondering when the next assault will come from an over-zealous suitor.  

'How do you ever leave this apartment? And why don’t you live in the middle of nowhere?' 

Alex glances sadly at me, 'The days I'm not 'in heat', I generally expect the odd grab or grope. That I can deal with, with a swift knee to their groin. Problem is they don't learn. In order to live, my skin has had to grow so thick, I wonder how my lungs have room to expand.' She lowers her head as she picks up her glass of water to sip. 'Living in the middle of nowhere is existing not living. Also, I have a tiny confidence in knowing certain people will help me. Gay men and straight women don’t feel the pull...' I lower my head as I squirm with intense embarrassment. _Fuck!_ 'The amount of times they have saved me...' Alex raises her head and immediately notices my discomfort. 'Olivia?' Her dulcet tones radiate through every nerve ending as I meet her gaze. For the first time, I notice amusement in her radiant eyes. My heart stops as I wait for her to say something, anything. 'I smelt it on you as soon as I regained consciousness. You aren't 'out' are you?' 

Her bluntness catches me so off guard that I can't help but laugh. Then a smile crosses Alex's face. I'm staggered that her exquisite features are capable of becoming even more captivating. I dig my nails into my palms once more as I try to stem the shivers of need migrating to my crotch.

'Olivia,' Alex attempts to ground me. 'You _can_ control yourself.' Her eyes are no longer playful as she leans forward, 'Breathe.' 


	4. Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can Olivia control herself?
> 
> Rating: Very Mature Content

I strain to obey, taking slow deep breathes as I wince at the speed of my heart and the pain in my palms. My body is flush with liquid molten heat but I slowly begin to bring my breathing down as I focus on anything other than Alexandra Cabot. I suddenly feel parched with thirst. I gesture to Alex's glass but she quickly moves it out of my reach. 'No, best not,' she explains as she quickly goes to the kitchen and pours me some water. She hurries back and puts the glass on the table. I immediately pick it up and gulp the cold liquid down. I've never tasted such thirst quenching water in my life. As soon as I finish, Alex re fills the glass for me. I swallow half the contents before I feel sated. I let out a grateful sigh as I realise the raging heat flowing thru my loins has cooled off.   

‘Have more faith in yourself,’ Alex praises as a smile plays on her lips. Her voice makes my crotch twitch afresh. I drink the water to distract myself. 'You are the first pull person I have ever invited into my home.' My body freezes mid sip as I try to comprehend her meaning.  

'Why?' I ask, as I put the glass down and finally give Alex my full attention again. 

'I'm tired Olivia. I'm tired of needing to use a safe room for a week every month just in case hordes of people break into my apartment.' I look at her stunned. 'Last February, I was trapped in that room for three weeks until some safe people set off the fire alarm to get them out. Only the threat of death or a conscience are stronger than this pull,' she explains before she continues, 'When I finally got out of that room, my apartment was trashed. Every human fluid you can imagine caked every corner of the place. I moved and now rent this penthouse to try to keep them at bay. I tried the gay quarter but women can be just as bad as men,' her eyes soften to let me know she hopes I'm different. 'I tried a women only commune but it was horrific,' her eyes turn haunted as the hopelessness of her predicament becomes even more achingly clear. 'I was lucky to find this place. Every room on the floor below is rented by gay men, safe people. They're very protective of me. Every day I fear one of them will move out.' 

'Do they understand your situation?' I ask as I wonder how Alex has stayed alive. I dig my nails in once more. I feel my clit shudder as I cross my legs. _Don't Olivia!_ I chastise myself, disgusted that my body is quaking whilst Alex is describing her harrowing predicament. 

Alex shakes her head gracefully as she answers my question, 'No. People don’t understand it. The only reason I allowed your Captain to share some of this with you is because I can't stand the idea of being touched, kissed, groped, assaulted one more time!' The pitch of her voice heightens as her obvious despair truly shows itself for the first time. _My God,_ my body aches as I force myself to keep from comforting her physically. 'You know what one of those bastards said to me that night?' Alex asks angrily. 'That he'll never get enough of me. The only reason they left was to quench their thirst. He said they'd be back to keep me warm.' My face drains of colour. Alex's eyes echo the scars burned into her soul. My admiration for this flaxen haired goddess grows stronger still in recognition of her self control, her hunger to survive. Even as she voices these heinous experiences, Alex doesn't dissolve into floods of tears. Instead, her expression carries a quiet determination to live, to fight. My burning desire courses thru every single nerve ending. I inhale a deep breath to steady myself. 

'What can I do for you?' I ask, wanting to do all that I can to keep her safe from everyone, including me. 

'You are doing it right now...' Alex starts, as my cell suddenly rings.  

The sound reminds me there is an outside world. It’s Cragen. ‘Benson.’ 

‘Check in. How’re you doing? Is Miss Cabot alright?’ Even though I know the reason behind the call, I’m touched that he asks about my welfare. 

‘Miss Cabot is fine.’ Alex smiles at my formality. I gesture for her to say something.  

‘I’m safe Captain,’ she says freely. I forget about the cell a moment as I look at her, shocked by her words. She nods, the expression in her eyes convincing me. A wave of pleasure jolts thru me. She mouths ‘breathe’. I breathe.  

I finally remember the cell. ‘Liv? Are you okay?’ Cragen shouts. 

‘Sorry Cap, yes I’m fine too. Is there anything else you need?’ I ask, as I breathe deeply. _Alex_ _says_ _she’s_ _safe_ _with me_ _!_ My head is spinning. It takes everything to focus on what Cragen is saying.  

‘Let Miss Cabot know the paramedic has decided to drop the charges.’ I sigh in relief, thanking the fates that Alex has been given one small mercy. ‘I want an update first thing tomorrow morning. Now go home and take a shower Detective. Good work.’ I smile at his understanding.  

I inform Alex about the paramedic. Alex closes her eyes and lowers her head, her relief palatable. It is only when she raises her head and I see anger in her eyes, not relief, that I know. A shiver of revulsion runs the length of my body, 'He did something to you didn’t he,' I state, not needing to ask to know. 

'The bastard licked my face the entire way to Bellvue,' Alex concedes as the anger rages on in her cloudy blue eyes. 

'Do you want us to...?' I begin. 

'No,' she interrupts. 'You can't put a third of New York City on trial.'   

'Did any of the hospital staff assault you?' I ask, needing to know.  

'Probably, but I don’t know. I was unconscious a lot of the time,' Alex replies knowingly. I can see I'm pushing her too hard. Alex is avoiding eye contact, her breathing is shallow.

'Alex, I want you to get some pepper spray,' I suggest, wishing to give her some advice in this hopeless situation.  

I notice Alex smile briefly before she gets up from the sofa and walks over to a cabinet. She opens the draw and pulls out several canisters. 'I have one in every bag and in every room.' I suddenly survey the room as I wonder whether Alex had a canister trained on me this entire time. Alex follows my searching gaze, 'I had faith you would give me your weapon. I can generally judge when someone is interested in more than just my body,' she says as she watches me. I blush crimson as my voice escapes me. 'As soon as you were unarmed, I unhooked the canister from my wrist and hid it away whilst I poured the water.' I can't help but smile, my respect evident, as I move to stand up. I try to ignore the dampness between my legs as I signal to Alex that I'm leaving.  

'Will you be testing me every time we meet?' I ask, as I take the glasses and quickly wash them in the sink.  

A laugh bubbles up from Alex's stomach. I almost die at the perfection of it. 'I won't be overtly testing you like that again. But Olivia, you need to know that a pass today does not mean you are immune. My body will be testing you until the day I die,' Alex says with absolute certainty as I walk to my gun and cuffs on the counter top. 

'What?' I stop, not quite understanding.   

'Your body is now locked on my scent. It's not like some homing device thing but the moment I'm in a certain proximity, your body will react. I'm not being arrogant, this is just the way it is,' she says raising her beautifully threaded brows, her face showing concern and sympathy. 'I'm sorry Olivia.'  

'This isn't your fault Alex. And I've figured,' I admit, hoping to ease her guilt. 'Thank you for saying it because it makes me feel slightly less insane.' I turn back to my gun and cuffs. 'Can I?' I don't know why but I know asking is the right action. 

'Please do,' Alex acquiesces as she walks to her apartment door. I reload the magazine and replace my cuffs and weapon before I join her. Only when I reach the door, does Alex begin what I can only describe as an unlocking ritual. She looks through the peephole then unlocks one bolt. Alex repeats this process until she has only two locks left to open. 'Olivia?' I immediately look into her iridescent eyes. 'You are one of very few pull people who hasn't attempted or succeeded in assaulting me on an 'in heat' day.'  

I gasp in shock, 'Today is an 'in heat' day?'  

'Not _the_ 'in heat' day but close enough,' Alex smiles as I allow myself to be a little forgiving of my bodies continuous urges. I nod my head as I'm momentary struck dumb by the beauty of her smile. _Don't cock it up now Liv,_ I mantra to myself as I realise how close we're standing to one another. I could touch her by flattening out my hand. _Don't!_ 'I suggest you go home and release some of your tension. If I see you tomorrow and you haven't, you'll be less safe for me,' Alex says directly.

I can't help but laugh. 'Line up, two pm,' I say briefly, not trusting myself to say anything more intelligible in this moment. 'Need me?' I offer as briefly, my pulse racing in my ears. Alex nods her head subtly as she unbolts the final two locks.  

'See you tomorrow Detective Olivia Benson,' she whispers as she quickly opens her apartment door. 

'See you tomorrow Alexandra Cabot,' I say, tipping an imaginary hat as I dart out. 


	5. No Choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia returns home.  
> Olivia and Cragen discuss how they can keep Alex safe during the line up.
> 
> Short Chapter. Will hell break lose next chapter?
> 
> Rating: Mature Content

Liv's Apartment 

I'm sat in the shower, the cold water washing away my sins as I breathe properly for the first time in days. I chuckle to myself, _Alex was right, of course._  

As soon as I left Alex's apartment, I ran the fifteen blocks to my own. The need to stroke my engorged clit was so intense that I would have committed murder to get here without interruption. As I ran, I felt my body appreciate the friction in my jeans and the rub of the seam on my clit. I halted twice on the journey as my body gave way. The first orgasm ripped through me with such unrelenting intensity that I almost collapsed on the street in waves of earth shattering bliss. Somehow, I made it here without being institutionalised. It took me over an hour to sate the painfully aching heat between my legs. I counted eight orgasms before I lost the will to keep track.  

I'm exhausted. My muscles physically ache from the restraint my body has had to endure. I know I should move before my limbs freeze under the cascade of water pummelling my skin. I finally pull myself up. I thought I'd feel dirty, depraved, even evil. But as I step out onto the bathmat, I feel cleansed and satisfied. I look at my body in the mirror, expecting to see my dehydrated pores riddled with scars. Instead, I see a contented face, my glistening body, nothing more. I breathe a heavy sigh of relief that the malignancy of my hunger for Alex has been cut away by her acceptance of my bodies need as well as my own strength of will to control myself. _Yes, I can be proud_ , I allow as I towel myself dry.  

 

The Bullpen 

I arrive purposefully early to avoid the anticipated stream of questions from my colleagues, particularly my partner. As I walk to my desk, I feel like I've been hit with the worst hangover. My head thumps an incessant rhythm. I swig from a water bottle as I try to replenish myself.  

I knock on Cragen's open door. He raises his head and proceeds to give me a warm smile of non-verbal congratulations for surviving the most arduous test of my life. I give him a drained nod as I sit down in the chair opposite him.  

Cragen takes a deep breathe before he speaks, 'So how hard was it?'  

I snort at the absurdity of his question as I scratch my neck and lean forward cradling my head. I don't answer as I run my fingers thru my hair. 

'Coffee?' He offers more helpfully, placing a full cup in front of me. I gladly drink the boiling liquid fuel as my Captain continues to look at me with concern. I close my eyes a moment, to enjoy the sensation of the hot coffee flowing down my throat. When I open them, a glucose sachet is waiting for me. I look up at Cragen, a knowing expression in his eyes that requires no explanation. I open the sachet and swallow the thick gloop before washing it down with more coffee. 'Better?' He asks, the smug look on his face becoming tiresome. 

'How do we protect Alex when she comes in for the line ups?' I ask, voicing my worry as I rub my face with my hands. 

'What day is she on?' Such a question would have been bizarre to an outsider but I immediately retrieve Alex's tiny notebook calendar from my pocket.  

I thumb thru it until I find todays date. 'She's not out of 'heat' week yet but this is the penultimate day.' I look up at Cragen, concern emanating from both of us. 'Alex said certain people don’t feel the pull. Gay men in particular,' I purposefully omit straight women, but not out of shame as Cragen is now aware of my orientation. Practically speaking, men are physically stronger and so more capable of protecting Alex from tens of other men intent on one thing: assaulting her. 'We need to bring in as many gay cops as we can whilst also ensuring only the 'safe' people have weapons of any kind.'  

I hear Cragen sigh heavily, 'Not many are 'out' Liv.' I hold my head, knowing this heart-breaking truth.  

'The ones that are and the six gay men who live under Alex's penthouse. If we can get them to escort her... She says they're really protective of her,' I utter my thoughts aloud.  

'I don’t think twelve or so men will be enough to overpower an entire precinct,' Cragen voices the weakness in my thought process. 

I raise my arms exasperated, 'You got any ideas Cap? What did you do during the previous cases?' 

'What we did, didn’t work Olivia,' he answers with such despondency that my anger instantly evaporates. 'We need this line up done today. We've already held the squirt too long.' 

'I know,' I say without ire. I lean forward, placing my elbows on my knees whilst supporting my chin between my thumb and fore fingers. 'Okay... Cap, we need those men to body guard Alex every step of the way. The precinct needs to be emptied of weapons and any particularly borderline harassing personalities ordered to leave the building until Alex has made ID's,' I say, hearing the flaws with my own ears. 

'How the hell does Miss Cabot expect to attend the trial and leave publicity at the door? A heinous crime and a beautiful lawyer victim will be provocative and fascinating reading for the people.' The truth of Cragen's words leave me nauseated and helpless. _Alex will be catnip_ _to the people._ I shut my eyes as I remember her tenacious fighting stance last night. _It's no wonder she's had enough._   _This has gone_ _too_ _far to back out now._  

'What do we tell El, Fin and Munch Cap?'  

'We're flying by the seat of our pants here Liv. I honestly don’t know. Miss Cabot hasn't given me permission to inform the others. It's just you and me kid,' he says as he walks over to me and places a hand on my shoulder. 

'If someone hurts her, I'll never forgive myself.' 

'Join the club Liv.' I place my hand on his. 

I lower my head in desperation as I try not to think of Alex being led to slaughter. 'Fucks sake Captain!' I whisper, resigned as I pick up the phone to call Alex. 


	6. Bold Move

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex makes a bold move.  
> Finally some smut/fluff.
> 
> Rating: Explicit Content

Alex's Apartment 

As I walk up the stairs to her apartment, I gauge my bodies reaction. I try to ignore the omnipresent excitement and anticipation whilst making my assessment. I notice the moment the anticipation crosses over to dogged lust. _A good thirty feet from her door. Fuck!_ _Depending on where Alex is in her apartment, the safe distance could be anything from thirty to_ _ninety_ _feet._ _It'll be impossible_ _to clear that_ _kind_ _of area at the precinct._ But as I reach her door, I find my worries lessening as the now familiar need infuses my body with lashes of molten heat that flick my pulsing clit. 

'I agreed to the six officers Olivia, not to involving my neighbours,' Alex clarifies as soon as she closes and locks the door behind me. 'Also, please don’t stack them around me. They need to be covertly placed so they don’t draw further attention,' Alex's voice is strained as she stumbles over her words in her haste to make her point.  

I remain still for several moments as I try to habituate myself to her presence. I take deep breathes in an attempt to steady the hunger radiating through my core as I feel my chest strain against my shirt. I'm panting again. _Please calm the hell down_ , I swallow and close my eyes but my body senses what I can no longer see. _A spirited, intelligent, willowy, flaxen haired_ _beauty_ _:_ _A_ _perfect mate._ My nails bite into my palms. I open my eyes, knowing to shut out one sense only heightens another. My abdomen clenches as I take in the achingly beautiful form in front of me. Alex is watching me with wary eyes. The guilt and disappointment I feel hits my gut full force. 'Sorry, Olivia... Breathe. Take your time.' If I wasn't panting so hard, I would smile at the misplaced guilt swimming in her cloudy blue... _Stop!_  

'Water,' I request between shallow breathes, hoping distraction will help both of us. Alex quickly pours a glass. I'm shaking so much that I can't hold it. She retrieves a straw and holds it to my lips as I sip the ice-cold water. I don’t know why but I find this act incredibly intimate. My clit throbs in agreement as my chest continues to strain against my clothing. 'I'm so sorry,' I breathe as Alex puts the glass down. 

She suddenly stands right in front of me, my mind swims at her proximity. 'Olivia, I'm going to touch you. Is that okay?' The drum in my ears is so deafening that I wonder whether I just misheard her. 'Olivia?' Her iridescent eyes are looking directly into mine; her face, her lips closer than they've ever been as I watch her hands reach for my body. I stop breathing as I harness my hands around my belt, digging my nails into my palms once more. I feel myself bow towards her as her fingers make contact with my stomach. Her finger tips leave a burning trail of excruciating promise in their wake as they travel down past my navel. My abdomen quivers as every nerve ending in my body focuses on her touch. I gasp, suddenly remembering to breathe. _I'm dreaming._ As I gaze into her eyes, her fingers settle on the front of my thin pants. A rush of heat undulates thru my entire body, impatiently waiting for one stroke, one flick, anything.  

'Please,' I plead, looking down as her fingers remain unmoved on my aching crotch. I glance up to find Alex watching me, a challenging expression in her eyes. Just as I'm about to buck against her, her fingers finally begin to stroke me. The sensation of her touch immediately consumes me. 'Jesus,' I stiffen, my engorged clit begins to swell and contract as waves of pleasure course thru me. I lean against the counter top as my body trembles with each unrelenting contraction. Alex's fingers continue to ride me thru it, intensifying my pleasure. My hips thrust against her fingers as I throw my head back, my mouth open in silent ecstasy. I feel Alex's lips caress my neck, her teeth gently nibbling my skin as another blinding orgasm bursts thru my senses. I hear myself whimper, knowing my body is no longer my own. Alex's fingers and mouth continue to orchestrate my body as another wave of molten lava pours from my aching core. I almost lose control of my hands as they jostle against my belt.  

Alex abruptly withdraws herself, backing away as she continues to watch me. I use my arms for support as my shaky legs don't cooperate, weak and still in the throes of aftershock. My shallow breathes begin to relent as the waves become echoes, my clit throbbing thru the last shudders of pleasure. With heavy eyes, I marvel at the magnificence of the unearthly creature in front of me. I notice her heaving chest and wonder whether it's fear causing it. 

'Alex...' I breathe heavily as I try to find my voice.  

Alex takes a deep breathe before she smiles shakily at me, 'You just passed and then some Olivia,' she utters proudly as my mind tries to compute what has happened. When my expression remains confused, Alex approaches me again. I put a hand up before she touches me. She stops before we make contact. I take a moment to right myself using the counter top for purchase as I try to un-muddle my afterglow state. I lick my dry lips. 'Olivia, what just happened is my fault, not yours, okay?' Alex states, concern lining her forehead. 'I needed to know I can trust you today just in case something goes wrong,' her eyes become haunted as she explains herself. 'You are so much stronger than you realise Olivia,' she says as she walks to the living room, giving me some distance.  

I notice that my body is more relaxed, my heart isn't racing so fast and my crotch is no longer on fire. I feel, not necessarily calm, but sated. This is the first time I have been in Alex's presence and not needed self-talk to control myself.  'Alex... That was... what was that?' I sigh evenly. 

I see a smile dancing on Alex's lips. She turns to look at me, pinning me with her heated gaze. My heart stops as I read her meaning. 'Use this,' Alex says finally, throwing me some gauze and antiseptic cream. It takes me a minute to figure out where I'm hurt as my body is currently infused with endorphins. I raise my palms, belatedly noticing they're dripping with blood. I clean and bandage them up quickly before my eyes find Alex. She is pacing the sitting room, nervous energy written all over her shaking form. 

'Alex?' She turns to me, her expression completely open. My heart skips a beat. 'I will protect you, I promise,' my voice breaks as I finally take the lead. She nods her head, her flaxen hair spilling around her shoulders as she bites her lip.  

I look at my watch, 1:20pm. I can smell the reek of sex and sweat on my body. 'Can I use your bathroom?'  

 

Ten minutes later 

I view the peephole, a knock at the door signalling company. I see six men standing in the hallway. 'Beta,' I say, waiting for the correct response. 

'Charlie, Omega, Alpha,' one of the plain clothed police officers replies as I stuff the rim of my shirt into a pair of Alex's borrowed slacks.  

'Alex, they're here,' I call out. I wait until Alex appears beside me, her nose mere millimetres from the door as she gauges the threat of these men. Sensing none, she nods her head, before she steps back. I unbolt the locks and proceed to fill them in on Alex's requests. Following this, I introduce each officer to Alex. My heart warms that each of these brave men has taken on this assignment with no prior knowledge other than they will need to bodyguard a recent assault victim.  

'Thank you for doing this,' Alex says, genuinely grateful to have safe people around her.  

As the officers busy themselves with strategy, I tip my head toward the bathroom. Alex understands my gesture and follows. I turn to her, 'Alex, are you sure you're up to this?' I ask, my anxiety for her seeping thru every pore.  

Alex looks deeply into my eyes, her own cloudy blues trying to supress her anxiety, 'I am,' she affirms, 'I have you.' My heart is suddenly ricocheting in my chest as I try to trust my own ears. My crotch begins to ache as my clit throbs once more. 

'From the moment we leave this apartment, you need to do exactly as I say Alex,' I stress bluntly as I wait for her acquiescence. 

'Yes Ma'am,' Alex agrees, as I admire the strength in this astonishing woman. I appraise her for one more minute, my fingers itching to cradle her face, to hug her, to take away the haunted look in her eyes. But I don't trust myself. An unwritten rule denotes Alex is the lead on physical contact.

'Lets go,' I command, as we leave the safety of her apartment. 


	7. Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You may hate me for this one.  
> Things don't go to plan.
> 
> Rating: Explicit Content

We make it down the stairs without incident. Two vehicles with dimmed windows stand waiting. Alex, three of the plain clothed offices and I get into one, the last two officers in the other. Alex is sat between two officers, I’m in the passenger seat. I appraise her thru the visor mirror. Her eyes, though frightened, hold steadily on mine. My heart hammers as I break eye contact, my attention going back to the people outside the vehicle. We travel in silence, an intense energy hanging in the air.  

‘Ma’am, any last guidance or requests?’ the driver, Officer Doherty, shatters it as he looks at me. My eyes migrate back to Alex, I raise my brows, silently asking her. I swallow as I watch her struggle to find her voice.

‘Please make sure no one touches me,’ she finally answers. Her eyes are enormous, her expression that of a hunted deer as she gazes out the window at the packed streets. I watch her take a deep breath and shut her eyes briefly. I wish I could do something to lessen her anxiety. I want to kill every bitch and bastard that has led Alex to this moment. When Alex re-opens her eyes, I see determination behind her fear. I look away as I try desperately to remain focused on the dangers, and not the endangered. _Breathe._

‘Everyone listen to me,’ I assert as I clear my throat, using my radio to keep the other two officers abreast. ‘This may kick off, it may not. But I need each and everyone of you on high alert. If the shit hits the fan, I won’t have time to give orders. The most important thing is keeping Miss Cabot safe. Our colleagues may suddenly turn against us. I need you to be ready for that. Do not draw your weapon unless you or Miss Cabot are in bodily danger. If we become separated, it’s imperative to get Miss Cabot out of there and safely back to her apartment. Failing that, secure her in a cell,’ I stress, before I replace the radio.

‘Ma’am?’ I turn to Officer Doherty. ‘Excuse me for asking but what the hell are we walking into?’

I can’t help but chuckle mirthlessly at his wording, ‘Exactly that Doherty. Hell.’

 

Several minutes later

We arrive at the precinct. I survey the area and breathe a sigh of relief that our vehicle hasn’t been followed by hordes of lust crazed wolves. I turn to Alex in the back seat, wanting to truly assess her rather than her reflection. Facing her delivers a scorching throb of warmth to my clit. _Control yourself Liv!_ She looks at me with a mixture of trust and sheer terror. Our eyes translate what our mouths can’t voice. _I will protect you._ ‘Let’s go Alex,’ I say, purposefully breaking our moment. _I must remain focused, I have to._ A shiver runs the length of me as I tear my eyes away and signal to the officers.

As soon as we open the vehicle doors, I know. _Fuck!_ I feel the blood drain from my face as several men immediately approach us. I unfreeze myself as our group pushes towards the precinct entrance. I suddenly feel a hand on my shirt sleeve. A pulse of heat snakes up my arm. _Alex. Breathe._ A man, then another try to barge past me, taking my attention. I jostle with one of them before Doherty roughly shoves him away. The other man punches one of my officers as I realise we are swiftly being surrounded. _No!_

I feel Alex’s arm tighten around mine, her body shaking uncontrollably as more and more people crowd us, reaching for her. ‘We can’t stop here, keep pushing thru!’ I order as my hands itch to reach for my gun. _No, not yet!_ I think, knowing drawing my weapon and aiming it at ‘civilians’ in public would lead to a very thorough investigation. _But if Alex is…._ Another man suddenly grabs me by the throat and tries to lift me off my feet. I’m ripped away from Alex. I kick him hard to the crotch resulting in my immediate release. _Alex._ My breathes come short and fast as I scan the crowd. I can’t see her. _Alex!_ My mind screams. I run to where the crowd is most dense to find my last officer, Richards, with his weapon drawn, his body shielding Alex’s quaking form from the mob.

‘Back the fuck up or I’ll start shooting,’ he threatens, terrified out of his skin. I try to fight my way thru, but my efforts are futile. I draw my weapon, knowing I have no other choice.

‘Move it!’ I bellow as I level my weapon on anyone in my way. I finally reach her, I kneel in front of her. ‘Alex?’ I say, tears blurring my vision as I take in the absolute terror etched into every line of her face. I help her to her feet, ignoring the sensations coursing anew in my stomach. ‘The entrance, now!’ I shout to both Alex and Richards. We use our weapons to keep most of the throng at bay. Four men suddenly jump Richards from behind, I watch in horror as he is beaten to a pulp. ‘No!’ I’m torn between saving him and continuing forward.

‘Olivia!’ Alex screams. I turn, my blood raging as I see Alex surrounded, the mob clawing at her body, tearing at her clothing. As soon as they touch Alex’s now bare skin the baying mob turns into a hellish frenzy.

I rest my muzzle against one of her attacker’s temples, ‘Back the fuck off! Now!’ I yell as he backs away, the others still hellbent on assaulting Alex. _We’re completely outnumbered,_ I realise as hands, fingers and mouths feast on her body. Alex fights to free herself, but her arms are wrenched savagely behind her back leaving her completely at their mercy. She finds my face in the din, her eyes a picture of harrowing anguish and rage. She bites her lip, making it bleed with the effort it takes to stop herself from screaming, knowing it will only heighten the mobs lust. ‘No!’ I dive towards her, propelling her with me to the ground. I land on top of her, using my shoulders to bulldoze her assailants aside. My body rebels, my arms shaking with the effort it takes to not assault her myself. _Don’t!_

‘Olivia…’ Alex breathes, her eyes wild with terror as she pants beneath me. Her distress pulls me back as I shelter her from the lusting mob, my arms encircling her in a protective embrace. I feel my own body being relentlessly assaulted. I don’t move to defend myself as my clothes are torn away. I shudder and tears well up in my eyes as tens of hands grope every inch of my now bare skin. ‘Olivia, no,’ Alex cries, as she lays helplessly witness to what is happening to me. She starts struggling against me in a useless attempt to help.

‘Don’t,’ I utter thru gritted teeth, my disgusting body appreciating the friction her writhing form is creating. When she continues to jostle beneath me, I press my pelvis into her navel. ‘Alexandra. Don’t!’ My voice strains, my nails curling into her skin as I try desperately not to ravage the intoxicating vision beneath me. Alex immediately stills, a gasp escaping her lips. I gaze into Alex’s cloudy blue eyes, surprised to find a hint of rippling heat in their depths, as I feel someone lie on top of me. Her eyes widen in horror as I stiffen. We both know I’m about to be grievously assaulted. I close my eyes, awaiting the inevitable.  

'Kiss me,' I hear her shakily whisper. I open my eyes to find a resigned hopelessness and undeniable hunger in hers. My heart pulses with her realisation that these are our last moments, seconds before we're torn apart. 

I don't think twice.


	8. Deja Vu/First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened to Olivia and Alex?
> 
> Rating: Mature Content

I’m suddenly aware of an array of noises, rhythmic bleeps and quiet hums of distant conversation. I flutter my eyes open. I’m immediately blinded by the light. _Fuck, I'm in hell!_ I shut them hastily to escape the searing pain invading my eye balls. I notice the light fade beneath my eye lids. Thinking I’m about to lapse back into unconsciousness, I fight to open them once more.

‘Is that better?’ My mind and body are flooded with adrenaline on hearing her excruciatingly familiar voice. _Alex!_

‘Alex...’ I sigh, my eyes brimming with tears as I drink her in like an oasis in the desert. ‘Are we dead?’  

Alex smiles shakily as she sits down next to me. ‘No, we’re in Bellvue. You’re alive and I’m here with you,’ she confirms as she places a comforting hand on my arm. My pulse dances at her touch as I get lost in her breathtaking features.

A sudden thought kicks the protector in me awake, ‘Alex, you need to go home. You’re in danger here…’ I say, falling over my words in my haste, as I try to sit up.

To my surprise, a beautiful laugh escapes her lips as she forcibly settles me back in the bed. I look at her in confusion as my crotch leaps at her pushing me down. ‘You’ve been unconscious for three days Olivia. I’m no longer ‘in heat’,’ she clarifies, immediately dousing my anxiety. ‘Even if I was, no one can pull me away from being with you,’ she admits sheepishly as I openly stare at the radiant beauty that is Alexandra Cabot, in complete shock. _Did she just say that?_ She stares right back, a heat blazing in her eyes as my stomach jumps, akin to vertigo. I survey her in a ridiculous effort to distract my thoughts, as I take in her scraped face and swollen lip. ‘I’m fine Olivia. They didn’t kill me, because of you,’ Alex reassures me as tears form in her eyes. ‘Olivia, I am so sorry, I...’ her voice breaks as she tries to find the words.  

I gaze into her mesmerising eyes, simmering and iridescent with tears. ‘I saw them tearing at you.’ 

Alex slowly nods her head, ‘But they didn't tear me apart,' she breathes, arguing her case. 

I let out the breath I’ve been holding. I reach for her, my arm aching as my hand finally moulds to the exquisite contours of her perfect face. I jolt at the contact, my blood warming to fever pitch. Alex nudges her face still further into my palm as my thumb caresses her cheekbone. _My Alex._ My clit burns with such raging thirst that I almost reach to quench it _._ ‘I almost lost you. I should have been by your side the entire t...’ 

‘Olivia,’ Alex interrupts forcefully. ‘You saved me. Saved me from being torn apart. You...’ Alex loses her voice as she bites her lip to stem the emotions flooding her. She winces as her teeth dig into the swollen flesh there. I stroke her cheek as her tears catch in my palm. My hand shakes with the will it takes to stay put. _Don't ruin this moment!_

‘How…?’ I ask, desperate to distract myself and to understand how we went from literal hell to this, the relative safety of a hospital room. 

Alex looks at me with renewed strength, ‘They got to us just in time. The man who lay on top of you identified himself as Detective Fin. He sheltered us as others used a water canon to wash the stench of lust and the mob away. You inhaled water causing you to lose consciousness.’ I inhale abruptly as I let her words flood me. ‘Fin saved you and you saved me,’ Alex whispers as she reaches to caress my face, mirroring my own touch. My abdomen clenches as I try to stop my lips from kissing her fingers. 

‘The officers?’ I ask, feeling guilty for only belatedly thinking of them.

‘They were heavily beaten but no longer in critical,’ Alex replies before she pins me with her haunted gaze, ‘I’m so sorry Olivia,’ she says again, further igniting my ire.

‘Alex, if you apologise one more time, I’ll…’ Alex raises her brow at this, challenging me to finish the sentence. ‘I’ll kiss you,’ I voice heatedly. _Was her request a dream?_

‘Now wouldn’t that be fraternising with the victim Detective?’ I feel my face blush crimson, my heart freezing, as I force myself to look into her eyes. My heart bursts in my chest as the amusement I find there infuses every fibre of my being with endorphins. My body is alive, tingling with anticipation as Alex speaks the words I most need to hear, ‘I’m sorry Olivia.’ I try to sit up to do good on my promise but find my arms can’t support my body weight. ‘You were holding me so tightly, you sprained pretty much every muscle,' Alex explains as her eyes continue to blaze with undeniable heat. She leans over me, her lips grazing my forehead in a sign of pure ownership. I close my eyes, wishing to memorise every sensation her lips awaken in my body.

Only when I feel the slightest pressure on my lips, do I open my eyes and almost hyperventilate with the realisation that Alexandra Cabot’s lips are beginning to kiss mine. She opens her eyes quickly, having felt or heard my surprise. Her eyes hold such scorching need that I momentarily freeze. My lips start to explore hers before she has the chance to pull away. My mouth melts into hers as I use my tongue to tease her lips apart. My skin contracts as goose-pimples shiver all over my body, as a liquid warmth travels from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. This heat collects at my navel, my clit throbbing with ill-concealed need as my heart batters my rib cage. My first taste of her is so profoundly exquisite that I find myself wanting more, so much more.

Abruptly, she pulls away, her chest noticeably straining as she tries to catch her breath. I watch her sit down, as I struggle to catch my own, 'Alex, what’s happening?’

She glances at me with such warmth that I feel sunned by her rays. ‘I’ve never felt safer with a pull person than I do with you Olivia,’ Alex replies, somewhat dulling my hopes. _I'm safe. That's all I am to her_. My eyes radiate my disappointment as Alex quickly continues, ‘I’ve never been attracted to anyone before Olivia. I don’t test, touch or kiss anyone…willingly,’ she corrects as she lowers her eyes in shame. ‘The first time I knew I was anything other than asexual was when I met you.’

I lose my ability to see, feel, sense anything other than Alex Cabot. My vision tunnels as my heart, lungs and clit demand every last ounce of blood to survive the sensations rioting thru my body.  

As Alex innocently licks her lip to taste the remnants of me, I lose myself entirely. My mind, body and soul are no longer my own as Alex lays her forehead against mine.

"Olivia, how the hell are we going to survive the investigation now?' She asks, knowing this conflict of interests will tear the case apart if the defence becomes aware.

It takes me a moment to find my voice, 'We've survived hell Alex, we can survive this.'

The door abruptly slams shut, announcing the presence of my entire squad.

 _Fuck_!


	9. Pre Judgement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex tries to defend Olivia.  
> Cragen's mad.  
> Elliot and Olivia are distant.
> 
> Rating: Mature Content

I feel Alex stiffen before she removes her forehead from mine. She gazes into my eyes for a moment before she bravely faces the frozen squad, standing tall and looking exquisitely fierce. 

‘Captain Cragen, I am entirely at fault for everything you and your squad have experienced up until this point. I apologize sincerely for this,’ she says as she turns back to me with sheer guilt and sorrow in her eyes. ‘If there is anything I can do to make it up to you,’ Alex whispers, taking a deep breathe, her eyes solely on mine.  

Cragen coughs gruffly, finding his voice, 'This isn't your fault Miss Cabot,' he says softly before he turns to Fin. 'Escort Miss Cabot home.' 

'I do not wish to leave,' Alex replies, standing her ground and unashamed that we have just been caught out. I admire her statuesque form, primed for a fight. My heart hammers as I'm fully aware Alex is trying to protect me. 

'Miss Cabot, I need to discuss some police matters with Detective Benson,' Cragen says more firmly, as the face off continues.  

'Meaning my case and how what you've just seen puts it at serious risk?' Alex asks astutely, not backing down. My head and heart are in conflict as I'm pulled between my badge and the staggeringly beautiful, spirited goddess before me. 

'Alex,' I finally speak up. Alex turns to me immediately, her eyes searching for any signs of ill health. 'The Captain and I do need to catch up.'  

Alex's eyes blaze with hurt then understanding before her voice acquiesces, ‘I’ll leave now.’ Alex transfixes me with one last soul warming glance before she turns briskly on her heel and struts to the door with an air of dignified elegance. As she passes Fin, she nods her head briefly before she sweeps past Elliot and Munch without a glance. My admiration for her multiples once more.

I notice the moment Alex is out of my sensory range. My heart aches as my body quietens to a normal pace. I miss her, with every fibre of my being. The feeling is so excruciatingly painful that I can't think, can't see past the gaping void Alex has left behind.

After a moment, Cragen speaks up, ‘Fin, make sure Miss Cabot gets safely home.’ Fin gives me a quick nod of encouragement before he leaves in Alex’s wake. ‘Elliot, John, I need you back at the precinct now!’ Cragen’s tone demands complete obedience.  

‘Cap, Liv has just woken up. Five minutes,’ Elliot argues anyway, as he tries to buffer me from the Captains wrath. 

I look directly at my partner, appreciating his support but also feeling a distance between us like never before. His behaviour towards Alex hasn’t been forgotten. ‘El, the Cap and I need to catch up. I’ll see you soon, okay? And you John.’ I find myself suddenly overwhelmed by the amount of testosterone in the room. I feel exposed, knowing every single member of the SVU squad has seen Alex’s and my naked bodies intertwined and surrounded by a mass of lecherous predators. I close my eyes as Elliot and John finally leave the room.  

I hear Cragen sit down in Alex’s chair as I open my eyes and stare at the ceiling. A tear runs down to my ear as I wait for him to speak. When he doesn’t, I eventually turn my head to look at him. I’m shocked to find mist in his eyes. ‘Liv,’ he says with such feeling that my chest contracts painfully. ‘I’m so sorry I put you in this position but what the hell did we just walk into?’ He finally gets to the point.  

‘Just now or three days ago?’ I ask, acting dumb to buy myself some time. 

‘Just now,’ Cragen clarifies, his eyes remaining soft though his voice carries an accusatory tone. 

‘How bad did it look?’ I enquire, needing to know just how humiliated I should feel as I turn to gaze at the ceiling again. 

‘Liv,’ Cragen says to gain my attention once more. I turn to him. ‘What you both experienced outside the precinct in heinous. Maybe that brought you together but Liv, if you’ve fallen for her, the investigation is severely compromised,' he says the words I knew were coming. The squad has not only seen our naked bodies, we are now outed to them. And not only that, I have done this by abusing my position of power with a victim of rape, so jeopardising the investigation and potentially my badge.  

‘Cap, I…,’ I stutter, knowing no explanation will be enough.  

He leans forward in the chair, ‘Liv, this squad is tight because we have each other's backs. We can keep this contained but if you so much as look at Miss Cabot until this is over, I will take your badge and book you for abuse of power violations, do I make myself clear?’ I just nod. ‘You will no longer be Miss Cabot’s handler,’ Cragen says evenly.  

I nearly bolt upright at this, ‘Alex won’t be safe with anyone else,’ I stress, my need to protect her overwhelming any censorship I have. 

‘ _Liv_!’ Cragen uses his harshest reprimanding tone. I know to listen. ‘She isn't safe with you!’ he counters fiercely.  

‘I protected her from that frenzied mob! If I hadn’t covered her body with mine, she’d have been torn to pieces!’ I shout back, I find myself unable to contain my rage.  

Abruptly, Cragen stands up and starts to pace the room. ‘I know,’ he concedes heavily. ‘But when I walk in here and find her leaning over you in a very familiar pose, I have few options but to replace you.’  

‘Captain, I promise you, I will not jeopardise this case.’ 

‘You already have. You better start thinking about what’s more important Liv: Your badge or a woman you've known five minutes,’ Cragen surmises as he stalks towards the door. My heart plummets, knowing I have lost his respect, his support, his patience. 

'Cap?' Cragen stops but doesn’t turn around. 'Something is happening to me that I don’t understand. But I know you understand on some level because you've felt it too. This is entirely consensual. I _need_ her Captain. And I strongly believe she needs me. I...' _Shut up Liv!_ I scold myself. 

Cragen runs a hand over his face as he finally turns to me, 'Liv, in all my time working with Miss Cabot's family, I have never seen them willingly touch another person. I know its consensual. I also know if her grandmother or mother had touched me like that, they'd be no controlling my heart. But that’s beside the point. You're in too deep. I'm assigning Fin to her case. I can't have another cop going down for rape and murder.' 

My anger erupts, 'We were stripped naked. We were skin to skin. We couldn't have been any closer and I still didn't rape her. I was protecting her and putting myself in the firing line to _keep her safe!'_ If my muscles didn’t ache so much, I would be out of the bed and in Cragen's face. 

He starts pacing again as he looks at me, 'You are stronger than anyone of us Liv. If I'd been on top of her, I...' Cragen doesn’t finish the sentence. We both know enough to avoid being unnecessarily explicit. 'If the defence gets a sniff of this, the case will fall apart and two perps will be freed to rape again, to rape Miss Cabot again Liv,' his words send a shiver of revulsion down my spine.   

'Is Fin strong enough?' I ask, Alex's safety being my absolute priority. 

Cragen sighs heavily as he takes Alex's seat again, 'I don't know.'

''Don't know' doesn't cut it Don,' I retort scathingly, using his given name to cut thru the bureaucratic bullshit. 'If she is assaulted by one of our own, I will hold you personally responsible.' As soon as it's out of my mouth, I regret it knowing he already carries so much guilt. 'Please forgive me,' I say quickly.

He leans forward and places his head in his hands, 'I thought we'd lost you Liv.' 

 

Four days later  

It has taken four more days for my muscles to recover from the strain. I still feel weakness in my forearms and back as I shift to a more comfortable position in my seat as Elliot drives us to the precinct. He visited me every day and regaled me with how he and Cragen bulldozed the mob. I'm eternally grateful to him, to all of them. But a gulf has opened up between us, a cavernous rift where solid foundations once lay. I realise I'm nervous in his company and he seems awkward in mine. I'm ashamed that this awareness comes second to the excitement I feel knowing I will be seeing Alex for the first time since I regained consciousness. My palms are moist and my clit shudders insistently in anticipation. 

'El, talk to me,' I begin, willing myself to focus on this important person in my life.  

My partner keeps his eyes on the road as he takes a steadying breath, 'When I found out you were alive, I made a promise that I would tell you...' 

'Tell me...' I coax. 

He sighs heavily, 'It doesn't matter now. You're okay, that’s what counts. The Cap filled us in on what you've been going thru. It makes a lot more sense to me now and explains why Miss Cabot hates me,' he says in a rush.  

I look at him. I don’t ask as I already know. I've known for a while. I also know Alex and Elliot didn’t hit it off. My mind makes the final link in the chain. _They're_ _competitors and Alex won_ _._  

 

The Bullpen 

As we arrive outside the precinct, I look around me warily. Someone pushes past me as I get out of the vehicle, causing an involuntary rush of fear to course thru me. _This is how_ _Alex feels e_ _very day_ , I acknowledge hauntingly as I attempt to stem my anxiety. I can feel my partner's eyes on me but I ignore him. Instead, I focus on reaching Alex, _My Alex._  

 

We approach Cragen's office, his door is uncharacteristically closed with the blinds drawn. I check my watch to make sure of the time before I knock. I hear Cragen's voice say something akin to enter. I turn to Elliot fleetingly as I place a hand on his shoulder. 'Thank you, El,' I say, genuinely thankful to him for saving us. He gives me a wink before he turns to his desk. 

I open the door, my body already dripping in anticipation, having clocked Alex's beautiful scent the moment the lift doors opened. I take in a harsh breath as Alex sets her cloudy blue eyes on me. She stands innately and gazes at me, her back to Cragen as her eyes convey her joy at seeing me mixed with a warning arch of her brow. My pulse drums in my ears as I attempt to not look too eager. Cragen watches us with assessing eyes. I give her the tightest nod to control my need to touch her, to taste her. I watch as she licks her upper lip, her eyes bursting with concern and the burning flame of need. I look away before I collapse in a heap of smouldering, aching heat. _Breathe_.

'Cap,' I say as I sit down opposite him. Alex takes my lead and sits down next to me. My hands itch to touch her. I dig my nails into my palms to stop myself. I glance at Alex's hands, noticing her knuckles are white from the tight grip she is using to hold onto her chair. My heart races and my clit throbs as I tear my eyes away from her skilful, slender fingers to look at Cragen. 

'Detective, Miss Cabot and I were just discussing how to move forward.' I try to swallow the lump materialising in my throat as I wait for the guillotine to fall. 


	10. Blitz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is anything decided in Cragen's office?
> 
> Rating: Very Mature Content

I wait for Cragen to say something. When he doesn’t I turn to Alex. She is looking at him. I turn back to the Captain. I feel a heavy tension in the room. I know something has either happened or is about to, ‘And?’ I cajole, my heart batters my rib cage as I try not to think about the possibility of losing Alexandra Cabot and my badge in the next few minutes. 

Cragen looks to Alex. ‘Captain, this is my fault,’ Alex says, her voice radiating a courage that warms my stiff limbs. ‘Ever since I was found in the park, I’ve been causing people pain. Most of all Olivia,’ she glances at me briefly before she turns back to Cragen, avoiding truly looking at me. ‘I don’t want to cause you or your squad any more hurt. Olivia…’ Alex starts, her iridescent eyes shimmering as she tries to do what she believes is the right thing.

‘Don’t,’ I interrupt her, knowing what she is about to say. ‘Don’t you dare. We’ve survived hell, we can survive this,’ I mantra. My heart is close to breaking as I register the concern and guilt in her eyes. She fixes me with her beautiful gaze, her brows silently questioning me. I gaze back, unflinching in my resolve to not only protect this spirited woman, but to save her. 

‘After what my mother and grandmother went thru, I never intended to involve the police, ever.’ I notice Cragen lower his gaze. ‘But then I…’ Alex doesn’t finish her thought before she moves on. ‘I know the case has gone too far now. I’ve identified two of the three men who assaulted me. Their DNA is a match and they deserve to rot in hell. But Captain, I don’t trust anyone like I trust Olivia. I can smell danger on every other pull person, including you,’ Alex admits as she tears her eyes away from mine to look at Cragen. He shifts in his chair uncomfortably, his cheeks burning at her directness. She continues to eye him for a moment, ensuring her meaning is explicitly clear before she returns her gaze to mine.  

Cragen clears his throat, ‘Miss Cabot, Detective Benson can no longer be your handler.’ 

I feel the controlled icy exterior of the flaxen haired beauty beside me completely freeze over, ‘Why Captain?’ Alex’s voice simmers with quiet rage. 'And I take exception to your wording. I'm not some _bitch_ who requires a _leash!'_ My clit throbs in appreciation as my heart bursts with pride. I cross my legs, causing a wave of pleasure to radiate from my crotch. I bite down hard to stop a moan escaping my lips. _Jesus Christ breathe Liv!_

Cragen clears his throat again, using a hand to hide his red face, 'My apologises, this is the wording we use for all lead detectives working with victims of crime,' Cragen clarifies. 'You two seemed very intimate…’  

‘Intimate?’ Alex interrupts, her voice remains low but seething.  

‘You looked very close to me,’ Cragen argues, not backing down either.  

‘Olivia saved me Captain, I am beyond grateful to her. That one act won’t jeopardise the case,’ Alex stresses, the skin on her knuckles looking ready to tear. I'm ashamed to realise my body is on the verge of climax. Alex's voice, her words, her ire, everything about her is pushing me closer. 

‘You already have by getting six officers beaten up and my best SVU Detective pretty much _raped!’_ Cragen volleys back, his anger spilling over as he stands up from his chair.  

I stand up too, placing myself between them. I eyeball Cragen with ill-concealed rage before I turn to Alex, ‘Alex,’ I whisper as I shake my head slightly, trying to convey to her that I would do it all again.  

Alex takes a steadying breath, ‘I know what I’ve done Captain. God, I know. I’ll never be able to take it back, but I’ll spend the rest of my life trying.’ I breathe a sigh of relief, thinking the tension is about to subside. ‘I know my flaws; I know my body. I know what I have to do, and I will _not_ take orders from a man who couldn’t keep my mother or grandmother _safe!_ ’ Alex erupts as she stands abruptly, placing her hands on Cragen’s desk in a display of anguish, grief and unbridled rage.

I try desperately to control the arousal coursing thru me but I can't think of a time I've found Alexandra Cabot more alluring, more powerful, more achingly beautiful. I dig my nails further into my palms to stop myself from throwing her down onto Cragen's desk and ravaging her. My clit trembles with excruciating need as I pant at the thought.

I notice Alex look at me warily moments before I feel a rush of cold air as the door is thrown open. Elliot, Fin and Munch storm in, each grabbing hold of one of us, thinking we’re about to tear each other apart. _No!_

'Get off me!' Alex implores fiercely as she struggles against the grip biting into her flesh. She suddenly stops fighting and my heart nearly dies, knowing the reason why. 

Elliot has Alex, his arms surround her waist, holding her arms hostage, her back pressed tightly against his chest. I watch his eyes glaze over. _Fuck_! ‘El,’ I say, realising the situation is suddenly dangerous. The heavy scent of lust and arousal consumes the room. I attempt to control my own bodies disgusting urges by focusing on the knowing despair shadowing Alex's features. ‘El,’ I repeat, as I try to gain his attention. He ignores me as he smells Alex’s hair. Her mesmerising eyes penetrate mine, fear and revulsion easily discernible in their depths. I know she wants to fight. I mouth ‘Stay still' to her knowing she will be no match for my partner if he loses control. 

Munch lets go of me, hopefully realising the danger as I look over to Fin. He and Cragen are looking at Elliot and Alex, their faces an unnerving mixture of concern and excitement. I feel sweat drip down my spine as I assess the precariousness of the situation. At this moment, I can’t read with certainty who will help and who will give in to their urges. My heart beat deafens me as I try to gauge how many guns are in the room. _The Captain’s is in his desk._ _Elliot's_ _and John’s must be in their desks because their belts aren’t holstered._ _Leaving Fin_.  

‘Fin, please can you take the Captain and John for some coffee so El and I can talk,’ I suggest as normally as I can. _Better one than four_ _._ Fin looks at me for a good ten seconds, the longest ten seconds of my life as I wonder whether his name sake ‘The Gentle One’ will prove himself again. The confusion in his eyes tells me he is trying to fight it. He finally nods his head, putting his arms around Munch and Cragen who thankfully allow themselves to be led out the door. 

I return my attention to Elliot and Alex; his eyes are now fully dilated, as though he has been drugged. I know he isn’t going to be able to pull himself back. Alex is frozen and helpless in his vice like grip. I gaze at her with as much reassurance as I can before I focus solely on Elliot. ‘El, why are you holding our case victim like that?’ I ask, trying to appeal to the Detective, the good man I know is in him. He doesn’t hear me as he suddenly wrenches Alex’s arms behind her back and onto his crotch. Alex winces from the pain, the humiliation, the shame that this is happening, again.  

As soon as I realise talking won’t stop this, I draw my weapon and aim it directly at his forehead. ‘Let her go, El. Now!’ I command as Elliot reluctantly releases Alex’s arms. Alex immediately gets behind me, her body flush against mine in her haste to escape his touch. 'Alex, please don't,' I plead, her warm body too much for my senses whilst I'm in this heightened state of arousal. Alex instantly backs off.

After a moment, Elliot blinks and shakes his head, as though he is recovering from a catatonic state. I don’t lower my weapon. 

‘Alex, stay behind me. We’re leaving,’ I say evenly as we back out of Cragen’s office. As soon as we are clear of the door, I holster my weapon and run with Alex to the stairs.   


	11. My Alex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Olivia.
> 
> Rating: Explicit Content

Alex and I half run down the stairs, causing confused glances from known and unknown personnel. We commandeer a squad car and I’m currently driving in no clear direction other than away from the precinct. My foot is shoved on the gas and my fingers shake as I hold the wheel. 

I turn to Alex discreetly, trying to see past my bodies carnal urges to evaluate her current state. Alex is so quiet, so still that I almost wonder if the breathtaking vision beside me is real. My mouth is dry as I watch her looking out the window.  

It’s only moments later that I realise I’ve automatically driven us to Alex’s apartment. I park and turn to her, ‘Alex…’ I breathe, knowing I need to get her inside. 

She looks at me with her intense eyes. She doesn’t say a word. Instead she nods, pulling keys out of her jacket pocket, showing me she is ready for the ascent. I nod back before we both open our doors in unison and race to the communal entrance. Alex jams the key fob against the magnet and we wait interminable seconds for it to click in recognition. Alex wrenches the door open and sprints up the stairs like a gazelle being chased by a cheetah. I chase after her as I try to place myself as a fellow herder, not a predator. My clit reminds me of my true position as I follow. Her lithe limbs easily carry her to the top floor as she uses a second fob to the penthouse hallway. We then sprint the final yards to her solidly built door as Alex retrieves three different sets of keys from her pocket and hastily unlocks them.  

As soon as she unlocks her fortress, we step inside and begin the relocking process in unison, each turning several bolts until Alex’s space is entirely secured. 

It’s only then that I notice our breathing. I’m openly panting. My fitness is impeccable. I know the true reason. Alex is similarly heaving, her chest billowing against her shirt as her lungs attempt to bring her back to an equilibrium. I realise Alex’s shirt is torn from the force Elliot used to wrench her arms behind her back. _Elliot._  

‘I’m sorry Olivia,’ her tone is so heartbreaking that tears form in my eyes. We look at each other for an eternity. The adrenaline rioting thru me is relentless. My body is primed and aching to touch her, to be close to her but I fear her rejection. I wait. 

‘Alex…’ I start, hating the sound of my own voice breaking. ‘I’m so sorry.’ I know I’m apologising for my partner and squads behaviour, my own feelings. ‘How do I ever expect you to trust me or my squad again?’  

Alex steps towards me with evident ire in her eyes, ‘Don’t you ever apologise for them again! I know what you were feeling. I know what you wanted to do to me in Cragen's office.’ I blush, surprised and exhilarated to find heat in her eyes. ‘But you didn’t. That’s what makes you different Olivia. You denied your impulses to save me… again,’ Alex stresses evenly as she steps closer still. ‘Do you have any idea how hard it is for someone to stop once they’ve touched me?’ She asks as tears begin to run down her beautiful face. ‘It’s near impossible for a pull person. It's like the hormonal pull on my ‘in heat’ days. Until you.’ Alex raises her hand, but I step away to avoid her touch. 

‘Please don’t,’ I say as my own tears begin to fall. ‘I’m on the edge,’ I admit uselessly, knowing she is fully aware of how I’m feeling. My body bows towards her even as my mind fights it. _Don’t._ ‘He hurt you,' I eye her torn shirt as I try desperately to distract myself from this enthralling woman, standing trustingly in front of me, looking at me with an open expression of pain and undeniable need.  

‘No,’ she whispers, biting her lip as tears shine in her eyes. 

‘Liar,’ I argue as my body yearns for her touch. I inhale her delicious scent as I watch her eyes glaze with permission. ‘Don’t,’ I warn. My crotch throbs with promise and my head feels thick with desire as Alex pulls me into her arms in the most exquisite embrace I have ever experienced. My heart batters my rib cage as slithers of heat flick every nerve in my body.  

‘Olivia,’ Alex whispers into my ear as a flood of adrenaline, endorphins and pleasure pours thru me. I wrap my arms around her willowy frame in utter compliance, my body pressed tightly against hers, listening as her tears become sobs. My nails innately dig into my palms as I hold Alex’s quaking body in my arms. I try to ignore the friction stoking my clit as I console the most potently intoxicating woman I have ever known. _Breathe!_  

My cell interrupts our silent embrace. Alex pulls away, spooked by the sudden intrusion. I take a moment to collect myself before I look at the caller ID: _El._ I throw the phone aside, my anger surging thru me as I try to comprehend the reality. _My partner sexually assaulted a rape victim. And not just any rape victim, Alex._ _My_ _Alex_. ‘My Alex,’ I utter savagely as Alex’s lips suddenly crush against mine. I raise my hands to stop myself from touching her as I step back to avoid her succulent lips. ‘Alexandra, I'm warning you, don’t!’ 

Alex presses her lips against mine again. My body quakes as molten lava erupts from every nerve ending. Blood rushes to my clit as I lose my fragile resolve and push Alex up against the door using it for purchase as my hands desperately roam her body as though she may disappear at any moment. My tongue invades her mouth as I taste the forbidden nectar of perfection. I whimper against her as she wraps her legs around my waist. I need no further encouragement as I tear at her shirt. I look into her eyes and see such undeniable animal need that my clit suddenly contracts with the first quivers of orgasm. I attempt to hide my face in her neck, but Alex cradles me in her hands to watch my pleasure unfold. I have never experienced anything hotter in my life. She gazes at me with complete, unparalleled awe and need. _My god_. Alex runs her hands thru my hair, as I nibble her gorgeously prominent collar bone, sending ripples of pleasure down my spine. I hear her moan my name. I melt involuntarily, my clit trembling as another orgasm pulses the entire length of me. I straighten myself to allow my lungs to breath, before I take Alex’s mouth once more, craving her taste. She tightens her legs around my waist as I feel her hips buck against me. I tear my mouth away for a much-needed breath. I rest my forehead against hers, our chests straining against the hunger penetrating our very souls. I watch her beautiful features as my finger tips dance along her stomach. I feel her abdomen stiffen at my touch. I can’t resist taking her mouth in mine again as my fingers continue to torment her. ‘Please,’ I feel her plead against my lips as my fingers finally trace under her waistband. As my fingers travel lower still, Alex gasps, her hips continue to buck against mine in silent urgency. My fingers finally locate her clit, but I tease her. Alex whimpers against me in frustration.  

I eventually relent, after gazing into her iridescent eyes, watching the hunger build within her. My fingers stroke her with rapid intensity as I watch her face dance with the pre-swells of ecstasy. As Alex throws her head back, her body stiffens in the initial throes of climax. I immediately nibble at her graceful neck as my fingers continue to stroke her, making her tremble thru the roaring waves of quivering pleasure. As she moans and rides the crest of her orgasm, her hand suddenly shoots down to my crotch. Not expecting it, my breathing hitches as her fingers tickle my clit thru my pants furiously. My body bucks against the sensations flooding me as my clit melts into her hand. Liquid gushes from my crotch as she claims my mouth, increasing my torment. Alex’s fingers continue to scribble against me, as my eyes see nothing but stars, my body weakening under her incessant stimulation. I feel my knees buckle as Alex lowers herself from my waist and supports me down to the floor whilst continuing her torture of my body. She sits on top of my prone and helpless form as she unzips my pants. She slowly begins to lower them whilst still using one hand to caress me. I am completely at her mercy, shuddering as each wave of molten heat consumes me.  

Suddenly, her fingers stop tormenting me as she struggles to remove my pants. It’s then that I take a huge breath and leap on top of her as my body continues to shake from the strength of my orgasms. She shrieks in surprise. I pin her to the floor using my weight as I undo her pants, my heart racing in my ears as my eyes, clit and brain try to comprehend that this is not a dream. _Alexandra Cabot is currently under me, half naked and staring at me with a_ _thirst_ _only I can que_ _nch_ _._ My clit quakes as I tear her pants away, not wishing to make the same mistake she had. I unclip her bra before I finally allow myself to truly dine on the magnificence of her achingly beautiful body. I bite, lick and tease my way down her elegant neck and torso, concentrating on her nipples and then her hip bones as I try to stop myself from shaking, the adrenaline coursing thru me so intense I fear I may pass out. 

I trail my tongue from the jut of her hip bone to below her navel as I feel her quiver beneath me. Excitement and anticipation tense my body as I taste Alex Cabot for the first time, causing another clit shattering orgasm to burst thru my senses. Alex tastes so exquisite, my need to savour her causes my tongue to lap and circle her aggressively, not allowing her a moments breather. I feel her body squirm and tense against me as I use my fingers to intensify her rapture. Finally, I feel her open up to me. ‘Olivia,’ she whimpers as she bucks violently against my efforts. I continue to lick and stroke her until her body stills with exhaustion. I slowly kiss and caress my way back up her body. I feel her chest shudder. I gasp, my heart breaking seeing her tear stained face. As I attempt to stand, Alex’s limbs encircle me in a fierce embrace. 

There, on the floor we lay. I cradle her shaking form, gently rocking her body as she cries tears for the years... 


	12. Aftercare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After last night.  
> The squad makes contact.  
> There is an outside world and an ongoing case...
> 
> Rating: Mature Content

I don’t know how much time has passed when Alex’s sobs quieten and her limbs loosen their desperate hold on my sore muscles. _My Alex. My beautiful Alex_ , my mind repeats as my heart breaks at the pain she is reliving.

Without a word, I scoop her naked body up into my arms and carry her to the bathroom. I lay her in the bathtub and turn the shower on, testing the water with my hand. As I wait for the water to warm up, she touches my arm, causing my head to spin, my clit to throb and my heart to race. I breathe deeply as I gaze at her. She literally takes my breath away as I survey her haunted eyes. Her expression causes my soul to clench in indescribable rage at every single person who has violated this achingly beautiful women's boundaries. A tear escapes my eye as I drink in the vision before me. Alex reaches towards me and wipes the tear away. I clasp her hand in mine and kiss the delicate skin of her wrist where the rope burns still stand out against her luminescent skin. Alex winces in memory as fresh tears flow past her cheekbones. I look up at her, my soul free falling as I continue to kiss her scarred flesh. I resist the urge to nibble her skin as I release her hand and dig my nails into my palms to dampen the heated desire coursing thru my body. _Breathe!_

I feel Alex watching me as I calm myself. I know she wants to touch me but doesn’t want to cause me further muscle straining arousal. I lean over the tub and take her mouth in mine. My clit quakes painfully as she pulls me closer to deepen the kiss. She draws her tongue over my lips causing my body to tremble uncontrollably. I pull away, panting, before I distract myself with the water temperature. I inhale steadying breathes as I hold the shower head and raise my brow questioningly, awaiting Alex’s permission. My breathing hitches as I watch battling emotions swim in her eyes. ‘My Olivia,’ she whispers as her chest shudders with a sob. Every nerve in my body quakes in conflict: heartbreak at her despair and earthshattering pleasure that I am hers; completely, undeniably hers.

I close my eyes in an attempt to ground myself. I sense what my eyes can’t see. I open them, my heart melting at the look of absolute trust and adoration in Alex’s eyes. I bite my lip as I lather up the bath sponge. Alex lays herself completely open to me as I begin to delicately wash her. She leans her head back against the tub, her eyes closed as I use the sponge in a futile attempt to scrub Elliot and every other abusers malignancy from her body.

 _She trusts me_ , I reassure myself as my hands shake with the effort it takes not to touch her or myself inappropriately in this moment. _Don’t_ , I admonish, my mind goading my body as I wash her neck and breasts.

In silent assent, Alex turns in the tub and flicks her wet hair to one side so I can scrub her back. I then pour a jug of warm water over her flaxen locks. I massage shampoo and conditioner into her scalp before I rinse the products away. I give her body a final douse of warm water before I retrieve a towel and wrap it around her.

I carry her to her bedroom and tuck her in before I collapse in the chair across from her and watch as she falls into an exhausted and disturbed slumber.

 

Several hours later

I jolt awake and blink my eyes furiously, taking in Alex’s sleeping form in the bed across from me. I rub my eyes as I stand, suddenly feeling liquid dripping down my inner thigh. _Shit!_

I run as soundlessly as I can to the bathroom and step into the shower before I peel my clothes from my body. I snort disgustedly at my bodies relentless arousal. I give myself the briefest of strokes but I may as well have opened a faucet. The sensations that pulse thru me are so excruciatingly perfect that I fear I may die of dehydration. I quickly drink the shower water, not caring that it’s warm and unquenching.

I feel a sleeping beast has been awoken in me and it can’t be entirely sated. _Alex said my body would lock onto her scent and be tested for the rest of our lives. The rest of our lives? Alex said that._ I bite my lip, knowing I have no control over my bodies alinement with Alex; knowing my body is now a slave, a mostly willing slave to Alex, and my desires. _Willing in that I know last night was Alex’s first consensual encounter._ My heart contracts as I feel a rush of painful sadness and sinful pride. _Willing in that she is breathtakingly beautiful, determined, intelligent and spirited. Not so willing in that I will have to constantly monitor my bodies desire versus Alex’s acquiescence. Not so willing in that I will constantly observe others trying to molest and abuse the woman that I..._ I shake my head to stop my thoughts running wild. _I can’t be in..?_

My cell interrupts my revelry. I jump out of the shower and run to retrieve the discarded phone from the sitting room floor before it wakes her.

_Fin._

‘Benson,’ I answer, my voice shaking.

‘Liv. I’m... I'm sorry about what happened yesterday. Please forgive me.’

My naked body begins to shake as I lose the fight to keep my emotions in check, ‘Fin, you saved us from being torn apart. You stopped Alex being further assaulted by our entire squad. You have no idea how much your actions mean to us, to me,’ I ramble, stumbling over my words as I try to convey his worth.

I listen as Fin clears his throat. Knowing him to be an exceptionally warm but emotionally guarded man, to hear this and the telling silence over the line, I swallow thickly to respect his need for time.

Eventually, he speaks, ‘Liv, we've got the third perp. Ashton Senior. Elliot... collared him last night,' he broaches haphazardly. 'We need Cabot to do another line up.’

‘Another?’ I ask dumbly.

‘Miss Cabot ID’d Joel Ashton and Ray Daniels whilst you were in hospital. She was safe Liv. I made sure no one touched her.’ _How did I miss this?_ A pang of jealousy stirs in my gut. _Alex was safe without me._ Fin must have sensed this as he continues, ‘But Liv, I can’t do that again, I felt myself caving. In Cragen’s office... I... Please forgive...’

‘Fin, don’t,’ I interrupt him. ‘I know that feeling and I also know you stopped yourself _and_ helped Alex,’ I stress before I change topic. ‘I’m unsure Alex will want to step near the precinct again after what Elliot did to her...' I suddenly hear a noise behind me. I turn quickly to appraise the most intoxicating woman I have ever known leaning against the wall, dressed in a blue silk kimono, her arms folded in a now familiar pose, her eyes blazing with determination. 'I'll have to get back to you Fin,' I say about to end the call but Alex walks towards me, brazenly gesturing for the phone. I offer it to her, deciding to ignore the consequences. Her fingers purposefully brush against mine as she takes it. A thrill jolts thru my arm, directly to my crotch.

'Fin,' she says, her voice steady. 'I don’t know where you have found the strength to help us... me. But I am so thankful to you for all you have done. You are a good person, Detective. I can't tell you how few there are,' her eyes never leave mine as she speaks with him. My body bows towards hers as I listen to her thank the only other pull person who has shown himself to be worthy of her trust, up until today at least. _Every day brings a new challenge of desire versus conscience._

'Does this mean Olivia is still my handler?' Alex’s dulcet tones interrupt my thoughts, her hand reaches out to clasp mine and squeezes when she gets an affirm. 'We'll be there in 30 minutes. But Fin, make sure his lawyer doesn't touch me... Yes... Miss Novak? Alright... Also, I can't face Detective Stabler without wanting to knock his teeth out so hopefully there'll be glass, preferably concrete walls, between us... Yes... Okay,' Alex ends the call and exhales a deep breath.

My pulse drums in my ears as I openly stare at the spirited beauty that is Alexandra Cabot. _This is the Alex I first met._ I'm now acutely aware her spiky, badass demeanour is a defence mechanism to prevent anyone getting too close. But it is this very characteristic that draws me to her, amongst many other things.

She squeezes my hand once more before she lowers her eyes in open appreciation of my body. I blush crimson, having completely forgotten I'm naked. Watching her peruse my body causes every nerve ending to tingle in anticipation.

'Alex..,' I whisper as I unclasp our hands to stop the need radiating up my arm. She nods in understanding before she walks to her bedroom. She returns with an outfit for me to wear. I notice her hands shaking as she places the shirt and pants on the sofa. 'I'll be right there with you,' I state firmly.

Alex faces me, her eyes turning soft and open, an expression she reserves only for me. 'And I'll be right there with you.' My heart melts.


	13. Line Up/Competitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex faces her rapist.  
> Olivia and Casey Novak spar.
> 
> Rating: Mature Content.

The Bullpen

I watch Alex shaking with apprehension as we ride the lift to the bullpen. As she stalks the tiny space and stretches her neck, I fight the urge to kiss her tight muscles away. My nails dig in, I know my palms will take a battering today. _Breathe._ I’m aware Alex’s scent isn’t the only trigger quickening my heart. _Elliot,_ I allow myself to think his name. Conflicting emotions race thru my mind as I take another deep breath.  

I feel Alex gazing at me as I raise my head to meet her mesmerising eyes. A softness dances fleetingly across her features before the ice mask falls back into place. I swallow to quieten the whimper of need escaping my lips. Alex shoots me a warning look. _Yes, game face on_ _,_ I nod as I take another deep breath, allowing myself one last perusal of this intoxicating woman. 

The lift doors open to a throng of activity. A jolt of reality hits me as I lead Alex to the line up room. _My lover_ _is a victim, a c_ _onstant_ _victim of sexual violence and she is about to face_ _one_ _,_ _potentially two of her abusers._ I shut my eyes briefly as I wait for the accompanying nausea to pass. 

We have only moments before Fin and Novak enter the room. I find myself assessing Alex’s reaction to Novak. This is the first time I have seen Alex with another woman. I lower my head, ashamed as I observe the ADA offer her hand to Alex. Alex doesn’t take it. My heart beat maintains its unsteady ricochet in my chest. 

‘Liv, it’s been a while,’ Novak invites my attention. I look up to see an unusual expression in her eyes. 

’I’m fine Casey,’ I say to shut down any further enquiry. As I talk briefly with her, my eyes are distractedly following Alex. She has stepped towards Fin. I notice him take a step back. Alex heeds his bodies request for distance, giving him a half nod instead.  

‘Liv?’ I hear the ADA say before she follows my line of sight. I look at her apologetically before I move towards Alex and Fin. Alex’s eyes greet mine, understanding my overwhelming need to protect her. Fin turns to me, his expression showing palpable relief that he is no longer alone with this enchanting creature.  

‘Liv,’ he acknowledges me warmly before he retreats further from Alex. 

I swallow as my eyes meet his, conveying to him how much he means to me, to us. He lowers his head and clears his throat before he turns back to Novak who is saying something. I zone back into the room. 

‘… want to patronise you. You’ve done this before and are trained so you know what to do.' My mind suddenly implodes, _Alex is trained in criminal law?_ It hits me that I know hardly a thing about the enthralling woman in front of me. I feel Alex’s eyes on me. I meet her gaze as my nails cut deeper into my palms.  

I hear Novak’s voice in the distance as I absorb Alex into my very soul. ‘Liv, is there anything you need to tell me?’ My head snaps up at her question. I find the ADA's eyes travelling between Alex and I with barely concealed suspicion. _Shit!_

At that moment, Ashton Seniors attorney noisily enters the room. I notice Alex flinch slightly as her ‘safe’ room is abruptly violated by a sleaze bag in the form of Lionel Granger. I watch as his gaze rakes over her body in open appreciation. Before I can think, I place myself between them as I glare at him with the full force of my disgust. Only once I’m up in his face do I feel a hand on my arm. _Fin._ I step back slightly, finding our ally standing next to me, a wall between them. 

‘Lionel, what a pleasure,’ Novak rushes in before I can open my mouth, placing herself between us instinctively. ‘If you ever dare look at my client that way again, I’ll have you barred.’  

I give her a quick nod, my eyes skirting briefly to Alex before I turn my attention back to the defence attorney, ‘Can we get this over with?’  

‘Why the rush Detective Pitball? We’ve got all day,’ Lionel states languidly as he licks his lips. Only Fins hand stops me from killing him.  

‘Lionel, don’t torture my client,’ Novak counters as the lights turn on in the adjoining line up room.  

Our attention diverted, we stare at the six men holding numbered cards. I feel rather than hear Alex’s breathing hitch as I stand beside her, trying with all my might not to touch her, to take her in my arms and carry her away from this place. I feel the tension in her ramrod straight posture as she faces her rapist. She resembles a beautiful marble statue as her eyes focus on one man. Just from her eye line and his similarity to his son, I know it’s number four. I realise I am unable to speak as I observe Alex tremble slightly. 

‘Miss Cabot?’ Fin thankfully jumps in. His voice brings us both back. 

‘Number four,’ Alex states briefly, knowing her voice alone can stir devious urges in particularly immoral, pull specimens. Her voice heightens my own hunger as shivers of excitement ripple thru my body, washing over my clit. My nails draw blood from my palms as the pain jolts me back into the room. I look around me and notice that Fin is now as far away from Alex as he can be whilst Lionel looks ready to pounce on her. 

Reading the situation, Novak intercedes, ‘Thank you Alex, you can go. See you in court Lionel.’ I immediately lead Alex from the room whilst Fin pushes the intercom to inform Munch the line up is over. 

‘I need to get out of here,’ Alex whispers to me as I slowly lead her thru the melee of people whilst trying to avoid anyone bumping into her, in our haste to leave. 

‘Liv?’ I hear Novak call out from behind us. ‘I need to talk to you and Miss Cabot, immediately,' she stresses, her tone leaving no room for argument. Anger grows in me as the ADA signals toward Cragen’s office.  

‘No,’ I state firmly as I glance at Alex. I know she is trying to hold herself together but is in dire need of escape, now. ‘Can’t this wait Counsellor?’ 

Novak looks at me evenly, knowing I only ever use her job title when I’m pissed with her, ‘No Detective, it can’t. Cragen’s office. Now!’  

I feel sweat dripping freely down my spine as we begrudgingly walk into the bullpen. I finger my piece, my eyes hyper alert, my body pumping with adrenaline as I lead Alex thru the lion’s den. I spot Elliot near the coffee machine, his face flush with embarrassment, shame, lust. I can’t tell. I struggle to contain my seething rage as we cross the threshold into the empty office - a crime scene. I slam the door shut before I can control myself.  

‘Liv, what the hell?’ Novak turns to me with anger of her own.  

I meet her eyes squarely, neither wanting or attempting to back down, ‘Do you have any…’ 

‘Olivia,’ Alex’s voice bursts thru my ire, instantly dampening it. She moves into my line of vision, waiting for me to raise my eyes. I swallow and take several deep breathes. I eventually gaze at her, my heart, lungs and clit straining against the anxiety and concern I find there. My shoulders sag and the rage dissipates as I remember my sole purpose is to protect this beautiful woman. I sit down in one of the chairs heavily and wait for the ADA to do the same.  

Once Novak settles herself into Cragen’s chair, Alex and I wait for the inevitable. She glances from Alex to me before she finds her voice, ‘What's going on Detective?’ She asks calmly, using her index finger to deepen her point. 

I gaze at Alex, who remains standing. She nods her head slightly before I turn back to Novak, ‘Alex and I are together,’ I admit breathlessly, cringing as we watch her stand abruptly. I have seen the ADA pissed many times, but never enraged. _Fuck!_  

Novak eventually stops pacing. She eyes both of us before she directs her anger solely towards me, ‘This case is over! You have broken every professional boundary. Where the _fuck_ is your ethical compass Detective?’ She glares at me incredulously for a moment. ‘I just… I don’t know where t…’ 

‘Counsellor,’ Alex interrupts Novak berating me. ‘I need you to sit down and allow me to explain something,’ she insists, her tone deep and firm. I’m surprised when the ADA acquiesces. Alex sits down next to me. She takes a deep, wavering breath before she proceeds, ‘I have a condition which has led me to imprint on Olivia and Olivia on me.’ _Imprint?_ Novak’s face shows her obvious confusion. Blood rushes to warm my heart as I truly comprehend my bodies reaction to Alex.I realise I’m panting as waves of heat and need course thru my body. ‘I have limited control over my bodies reaction to Olivia and hers to mine. This is not going away. We...’ Alex looks at me, ‘…have to find ways of hiding it,’ she explains as she leans forward in her chair. My body keens for her as hot quivers radiate thru my abdomen. 

‘You aren’t animals! You’re fucking human beings for Christ's sake!’ The ADA argues, disbelieving as she glares at me.

‘I need you to look at several sealed case files,’ Alex says before she lowers her head to take a calming breath.  

‘Alex, is this worth it?’ I ask the obvious question as I watch the love of my life outing herself to yet another person. 

Alex turns to me with renewed ire in her eyes. I swallow to stop myself from leaning over to claim her mouth. ‘How many more women will they rape if I don’t stand up?’ My heart breaks as I watch her iridescent eyes ignite. ‘That night, if they hadn’t assaulted me, they would have assaulted someone else. It wasn’t my scent that made them attack me. My scent kept them attacking me,’ Alex stops to take another breath before she turns to Novak. ‘They came prepared with rope, stakes and knives,’ she clarifies. ‘How many rapists and abusers have I allowed to walk thinking it was my scent that made them do it? Now I know pull people can control themselves, but only if they want to,’ she turns and looks at me with such warmth, I have to look away to stop my body melting. ‘I need to stop blaming myself. Every rapist and abuser assaulted me because their desire outweighed their conscience in that moment. That surely means their conscience can disappear at will.’   

We both look at Novak who is sat open mouthed. Eventually she blinks, ‘Are you saying you have been raped before?’ I watch as Alex licks her lips in an effort to moisten her dry mouth before she nods her head in answer, her voice lost. The ADA looks at me for confirmation. I nod my head before I turn to Alex, my fingers itching to cradle her face.  

‘I need those case files. You also need to know if any of this comes out in court, the defence will tear you apart. Lionel will humiliate you on the stand,' Novak states seriously, her eyes boring into Alex’s features.  

‘Counsellor, I know you feel it. I know you believe what I’m saying,’ Alex challenges as she holds Novak’s gaze. I look between them, the jealousy building in me once more as I comprehend Alex’s meaning. I feel her hand clasp mine reassuringly. I tighten my grip around her slender fingers as blood migrates to my clit. _My Alex_ _._ ‘I need to know you can control yourself or this really is over.’ 

The ADA looks at me with guilt in her eyes before she turns back to the most intoxicating woman we’ve ever met. I know then that she has fantisised about dominating Alex. I bring Alex's hand up to my lips in a possessive, marking gesture. Alex shoots a furtive glance my way, letting me know she is acutely aware of what I'm doing and to stop at once. I let go of her hand. Novak clears her throat before she continues, ‘We already have another victim, for a historic rape case perpetrated by the same man four years ago. You don’t need to do this.’ 

‘How about his son? How about the other stray? Surely two survivors are better than one and I can guarantee you, the other case won’t have as sufficiently damning DNA evidence,’ Alex counters.  

‘You realise you are opening yourself up to being discredited, possibly destroyed, in court? You will be sectioned,’ Novak warns. 

‘I’m destroyed in some way most days Counsellor. I have lost so much. If I’m sectioned, at least I’ll be in a single room away from prying hands and _unwelcome_ advances.’ My soul cries as I clasp her hand in mine once more and squeeze.

I watch as Novak's face blanches, 'How about your freedom?’ she asks naively.

Alex sighs as she shakes her head, ‘I will never be free.’ I stop breathing as I watch Alex collect herself. She suddenly pins me with her intense eyes. I realise Alex is asking for my permission. She knows I am no longer free either.

I gaze into her beautiful cloudy blue eyes with all the love I feel, 'I chose to be with you Alexandra,' I answer as a lone tear threatens to trickle down her cheek. 

She turns to Novak, 'It’s time I take control and make others take responsibility for their actions. My mother and grandmother took a stand. So will I.’ _Even if it kills us_ _,_ I finish her sentence in my mind. 'But Counsellor, don’t ever touch me. Don't _ever_ try to touch me again,' Alex warns as she stares down Novak with knowing eyes. The ADA nods meekly, aware she has been caught out. 'I will give you a diary of dates I won’t be available.’ 

‘The judge won’t exactly stop proceedings for…’ 

‘Do what you have to do Counsellor. I’m sure you heard what happened outside the precinct last week. To do otherwise will risk mine and Olivia’s lives,’ Alex states earnestly before she stands. ‘Ask Cragen for the files. Now, I need to leave,’ Alex concludes breathlessly as she glances at me, the expression in her eyes haunted and pleading.  


	14. Face Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A face off between Alex, Olivia and...
> 
> Rating: Mature Content.

As we step toward the door, a knock sounds a visitor. My anger ignites as I instantly recognise the intruder. _Not a fucking chance!_

‘Come in Elliot,’ Novak welcomes, oblivious, as I grab the door handle to keep him out. ‘What the hell Liv?’ the ADA repeats for the third time this morning, her expression utterly confused.

‘Back the hell off Elliot!’ I seethe as I watch Alex bite her lip anxiously.

‘Liv,’ I hear him say thru the door, ‘I need to talk to you. Please.’ I feel him try the door once more. I hold firm.

My eyes see only Alex as I wait for her instruction. I register the spirit in her cloudy blue eyes and the determined jut of her jaw. I know before she places her hand on mine, that she would rather face him than slink away. My heart and clit shudder in admiration for her.

I release the door handle and step back as we face my partner for the first time since he assaulted my woman, my mate. I eye him like a stranger, our years of trust forever betrayed by his abusive behaviour.

Alex steps from behind me, taking a steadying breathe before she meets his eyes, ‘I see you. I know the type of person you are. You tried to stop, I know you tried. But, you’re unpredictable, callous and abusive,’ Alex states brutally. I hear a groan of understanding omit from Novak behind us. ‘The only reason I’m not hurting you is because I don't want to _touch_ you,' the disgust in her tone is clear. 'Also, once I start, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop hurting you,’ Alex pauses to moisten her lips, her hands fisted and shaking with retrained rage. ‘You should be stripped of your badge and your freedom.’ Elliot remains silent, accepting the verbal humiliation. ‘I’m not reporting you only because Olivia wouldn’t have partnered and trusted a complete monster. But if you so much as step in my aura again, I will ruin you. Do I make myself clear?’ As Alex finishes her chillingly controlled verbal battering, I try my best not to swoon in response to her grace in coping with this heinous situation.

It’s only when my fist connects solidly with his face that I realise I don’t possess Alex’s control. I hear a gasp behind me, reminding me that our ADA is witnessing this. I ignore her presence as I openly glare at Elliot. ‘I can’t believe you’re in the building, let alone within two feet of her!' I begin as my rage feeds my words, ‘If you’re not suspended by tonight, I’ll report you myself!’ I continue, as my fists ache to punch him again. ‘I don’t see you as anything more than a lustful predator who tried to rape my... If I ever see you look at or touch Alex again, I will shoot you!' I promise as I feel tears rivet down my cheeks. I wipe them away impatiently as Alex clasps my hand to refocus my attention. My rage morphs into arousal. I don’t wish to restrain my anger so I shake her hand away. I take a deep breathe as I feel it come flooding back. I glare at Elliot, realising I’ve never been so angry in my life. He stands quietly, his expression mournful. This only stokes my ire. _I want you to be sorry, to say it, to mean it, to show it; to plead on your fucking knees for forgiveness_!

Only once Alex’s hand touches the small of my back, moments later, do I realise my fists are repeatedly connecting with his face. I stop immediately; my chest straining for breath as embarrassment, guilt and shame flood me. I take in Elliot’s bloodied features. _No!_ The rage I always knew lay dormant has finally, cataclysmically erupted. Silence reins as I feel the spotlight irrevocably on me, ‘I’m...’

Elliot spits blood before he turns to Alex, ‘Miss Cabot, I am so sorry for what I did yesterday. I couldn’t... stop. I tried so hard but I couldn’t...’ Alex remains a controlled vision of icy steel. I know what she’s thinking, her silence speaking volumes:  _He could have controlled himself if he truly wanted to; and so could I, just now._ My shame multiples. Elliot looks at me, ‘Liv, I deserved that and more.’

I glance toward Alex, my palms slick with anxiety and blood as I over think her potential reactions to my behaviour. She finally meets my gaze. My heart freezes over as I register a distance in her eyes, ‘I can’t do this,’ Alex whispers before she opens the office door and flees, in a graceful half jog, to the stairs. 


	15. Round Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia, Novak and Elliot have it out.
> 
> Rating: Mature Content.

My heart drops to the floor as I watch Alex disappear. _She can’t do what? Does she mean us? The case?_ My mind whirs as my body remains frozen, gazing toward the stairwell.

The moment I no longer feel Alex’s aura, my chest heaves; I feel light headed as my heart begins to break. My body weeps.

‘Liv,’ I hear Novak say. I prize me eyes away from the stairwell to look at her. Fresh tears run down my cheeks as I blink to refocus my vision. ‘Liv,’ she repeats, recognising my head and emotions are anywhere but here.

I feel myself move towards the open door as my body keens for Alex’s scent, her spirit, her soul. _Nothing else matters._

‘Liv,’ I hear Novak say again as she places a hand on my forearm. I flinch at her touch, suddenly bringing me back. Sensibility hits as I take in Elliot’s beaten face and Novak’s wary gaze. ‘We need to sort this out, right now,’ she says as she guides me to a chair. ‘El, shut the door,’ Novak orders as she leans on Cragen’s desk in front of me.

She fishes out tissues from her pocket and proceeds to offer them to us. We both dab our fluid coated faces for a silent minute before Novak decides she’s shown enough patience, ‘Detectives, I need you to tell me what the _fuck_ this is about, though I get the gist. Have I just been witness to an admission of sexual assault against our _case victim?_ ’ She looks directly at my soon to be ex-partner.

‘Yes,’ Elliot replies gruffly, still wiping blood from his face.

‘And?’ Novak asks, anything but satisfied with his closed response.

Elliot shifts uncomfortably in his chair as I try to concentrate on this important conversation and not my anxiety that Alex may be being assaulted right now and I have no way of knowing. _No! I need to get out of here_. ‘I need to...’ I begin as I stand.

‘Sit down, Detective!’ Novak’s tone demands complete obedience. I sit begrudgingly, my stubborn nature bristling at the ADA's forcefulness.

Elliot tells Novak about every aspect of the build-up, the actual assault and then the immediate fall out. He makes no further excuses for his behaviour.

'How did Cragen let you back in here?’ Novak asks, incredulous. Elliot gets up and places his gun and badge on the desk.

‘That’s something you’ll have to ask him,’ he says as he turns to me, his left eye closing up and his nose still bleeding. ‘Liv, I hope one day you’ll be able to forgive me.’ He then presents his back and wrists to me.

‘I can’t deal with this now,’ I say as I stand again and begin walking to the door.

‘I can’t let you leave Olivia,’ Novak states firmly as she quickly steps in front of the door to prevent my escape.

‘What the hell does that mean?’ I enquiry fiercely as I glare at the ADA.

‘It means I just witnessed you physically assault your partner. What is _wrong_ with you two?’ she asks, understandably disturbed by our behaviour I realise. _I’m no better than him. We’re acting like a pair of rutting stags._

‘So, what are you proposing, Counsellor?’ I ask heatedly, pissed, exasperated and scared out of my skin. ‘Because if I have to stay in this room much longer I’ll...'

‘You’ll what? Punch me?’ Novak finishes my sentence. I breathe heavily to ground myself before I meet the ADA's gaze. She has turned to Elliot, ‘Would you like to press charges against Detective Benson?’ I look at my partner’s injuries. The shame jolts my gut as nausea envelops me.

‘No, I deserved it,’ he says as he glances at me.

I step toward the door as I swallow the lump forming in my throat, ‘I’m sorry for what I did to your face,’ I apologise, grieving the loss of our once incomparable connection. Now I acknowledge Elliot never really knew an integral part of my identity. ‘I’ll never forgive you for what you did to Alex. _Ever!_ Stay away from her, us. If you're not suspended within the next hour, I will report you. Casey...’ I look at her, ‘...stay with him and his weapon until the Captain makes an appearance. I’m leaving...’ I say as I finger the door handle.

‘Maybe I should be Miss Cabot’s contact until a less involved handler can be found,’ Novak suggests.

I turn to her, seething, ‘Don’t! Don’t you fucking dare. I know what you’re trying to do. All high and mighty, ethical and above-board but you just want to get her alone,’ I voice in a deathly whisper.

‘What? You're gay too?’ Elliot asks, aghast. Novak's face pales as she glares at me. _Shit!_

Though the ADA has infuriated me, to out her like this is unforgivable, ‘I’m sorry Casey.’

She sighs and lowers her head, ‘I’m not gay, more bi curious,’ she admits. ‘If this leaves the room, it'll affect any political career I...' I close my eyes wincing slightly, knowing even though it's the 21st century, Novak is ultimately right.

‘Understood,’ I reassure her, looking to Elliot for agreement. I know his views can occasionally be homophobic so I wait, staring him down. He finally nods his head.

‘Why are you all in the closet?’ he asks stupidly.

‘Because of closet, homophobe jerks like you!’ I state thru clenched teeth, trying to bite down my anger. 

'I'm NOT homophobic!' Elliot stresses angrily.

'So if I was a man, you'd be completely fine with..?'

Novak interrupts me, in an attempt to prevent us from becomng physical again, ‘Do you really think I’m capable of hurting Miss Cabot?’

I pause and take a deep breath to steady my ire. 'I saw the look in your eyes when Alex challenged you. Wait until she's 'in heat'. Anyone is capable of anything given the wrong circumstances, including me,’ I admit as my gaze lingers on Elliot’s face once more.

Novak blanches, ‘What has she done to you?'

‘What she is doing to all of us: involuntarily triggering our primal urges. She is the only innocent in this,’ I turn the handle, opening the door slightly. ‘Look at her case files Casey. We have a choice. Be careful which side of the line you decide to stand on,’ I warn as I hurry out the door before Novak tries to further prevent my escape.

_Alex!_


	16. Animal Instinct vs Human Emotion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Olivia.
> 
> Content: Explicit Content.

I call Alex's phone numerous times as I drive to her apartment. My concern deepens with every second that passes. _Please be safe. Please!_  

I wait over an hour for someone in her block to lazily leave the magnetic door ajar. I scoot in and run the stairs two at a time as my heart hammers against my rib cage. 

Only when I reach the second magnetic door do I remember only Alex has access. _No!_  The frustration and pride in recognition of her safety precautions haunt my soul. Even more exasperating, Alex will be just outside my sensory range if she is home. _I can’t even check if she is safely inside her apartment._ _Fuck!_  

I call her again to find her phone switched off. This small act tells me she must be alive, due to only minutes between each frenzied attempt.  

I wait intolerable hours, sat leaning against the door, my mind in overdrive as I think of every potential, heinous scenario Alex may be experiencing whilst I sit here, useless and going crazy with worry.  

My body suddenly beats a different rhythm. My ears listen out for something, anything to explain this change. Then I hear her, I smell her. Only once she turns the corner do I allow my hope to give way to earth shattering relief that Alex is safe and unharmed. _A_ _live._ My clit awakens with roaring intensity as my palms itch, my heart ricochets, my breath gives out and my mouth waters at the sight of the breath-taking vision of Alexandra Cabot.  

I stand as she remains rooted to the spot, her hand gripping the bannister. I fear I may spook her if I move towards her, so I step to the side unblocking her path to the penthouse hallway. Alex stays put, obviously weighing up her options. I can feel the fight blazing within her.  

She takes me by surprise when she suddenly charges me, her key fob in hand. She clicks the magnet, shoulders the door open and then tries to push it closed behind her. I force the door as Alex backs off, knowing she won’t have time to unlock all the bolts before I catch up with her. I realise I’m panting as I hear the hallway door click shut behind us. I notice Alex is equally out of breath. I gaze into her eyes, her sheer magnificence drawing me in. I start to approach her like I would a wounded animal, my arms outstretched in case she decides to attack me.  

I swallow as I watch her lower her head in defiance at my approach, her eyes glistening fiercely. All I know is I’ve never been more aroused in my life. I lick my lips nervously as I get within six feet of her.   

‘Olivia,’ she warns as I put my index finger to my lips, shushing her. We are beyond words as I step closer still. I’m within two feet of her when she suddenly launches for me. _Shit!_ She proceeds to use her hands to slap at me in an attempt to tear us apart, to end us. I have no choice but to restrain her as I grab hold of her wrists and secure them either side of her head as I use my body to push her up against her apartment door.  

She meets my gaze as my rapid breathes wash over her face. Her eyes hold such heat, such guilt that all I can do is kiss away her tears as I try to stop myself thinking about the possbility of losing her. I loosen my hold as I gaze into her orbs, blazing with anticipation, as she waits for my next move. I feel her rocketing heart beat against my chest as she licks her lips. I need no further encouragement. My mouth comes down on hers so fiercely that I don’t have time to realise I’ve lost control.  

Alex’s mouth meets mine as crushingly, her lips and tongue fighting mine with such searing passion that my body trembles violently. I tear at her shirt, ripping it to shreds as I rush to have skin to skin contact with her intoxicating body. I bite her neck, gaining a moan from her free lips. I come undone as I feel her tearing at my borrowed shirt as eagerly, throwing it to the floor in tatters. I shake with the promise of orgasm as I kneel in front of her, removing her pants whilst Alex runs her fingers thru my hair. I remove mine as quickly before she reaches behind me to unstrap my bra; she then wrenches my panties off. I rapidly mirror her actions until our bodies are skin to skin as I rake a hand thru her golden locks, roughly pulling Alex in for another soul scotching kiss. I shudder with excruciating release as I tear my mouth away for breath. I look into her iridescent eyes as she pulls me back, her nails clawing at my body, in desperation. I back her up against the door as I dance my fingers against her. I circle her for seconds before I feel her quake as the first waves of climax burst thru her. I cup her face, wanting to see the waves wash over her beautiful features as I stroke her thru it. Her eyes look directly into mine, the intensity of her gaze so ablaze that I come unravelled. My body surges with liquid heat as every nerve ending in my crotch burns with undulating quivers of molten pleasure.  

I pull her to me for another desperate kiss, immediately re-igniting our hunger as my hands roam her body. As I roam, I note a long, raised scar on her lower back. Before I can explore further, Alex takes my hand and places it at her nape. As I search her eyes, I see a plea in their depths. I claim her mouth, honouring her plea, before I kneel in front of her and lift one of her sinewed legs to rest over my shoulder as I take her clit in my mouth, my lips and tongue sucking and teasing her relentlessly. She tastes exquisite as I flick my own clit once and reap the rewarding crescendos of another soul shattering orgasm. I feel Alex’s nails cut into my skin as my incessant stimulation pushes her over the edge; a climax so potent radiating thru her that I support her collapsing frame as I coax yet more pleasure from her depths. I hear her moan in ecstasy as my lips suck her clit dry, my tongue lapping up her core as though my life depends on it. I realise my life does depend on it, on her, as she collapses onto me, completely exhausted and jolting with aftershocks. 

 

It takes me 10 minutes to figure out which keys unlock which bolts before I manage to open the door. I feel Alex watching me. I glance at her, the breath is knocked out of me as I take in her achingly beautiful, naked form sat cross legged on the hallway floor. I offer her my hand. She doesn’t take it. Instead she picks herself up and walks into her apartment, holding the door for me. I enter, suddenly nervous of what is to come. 

Alex immediately walks into her bedroom. She returns wearing her glasses and an oversized hoody as she tosses me a similar garment. I put it on and wait for her to sit down. She goes to the kitchen to pour us some water before she sits opposite me, where she first gave me the gift of her trust only weeks before.  

‘Drink,’ she instructs, wanting to stave our dehydration. I drink. Alex takes a deep breath, her eyes misting as she finally looks at me. My gut flips as I wait. ‘Olivia… I can’t do this,’ she breathes, mirroring her words from hours before. 

I look at my glass as I try to fathom which, of many possibilities, caused this decision, ‘Alex, I… What can I do to change this?’ 

‘I’m ruining your life Olivia,’ Alex says, surprising me, thinking it would be my reaction to Elliot or the conflict of interests weakening her case. 

I lean forward in my chair as my eyes succeed in drawing hers, ‘How?’ I ask bemused, ‘I’ve never felt more alive,’ I state honestly as I watch her eyes flicker with emotion. 

‘Everything you hold dear is being eroded because I’ve blinded you to everything but me,’ Alex’s voice breaks as she finishes her sentence. 

 _There is no denying the truth_ _in h_ _er statement but_ , ‘Firstly, you aren’t responsible for your bodies hormones and my reactions to them. Second, I don’t care about anything else; just your safety, your case, _you_ ,’ I argue as I move to kneel in front of her, my arms encircling her calves as I look up at her stunning features.  

‘Olivia, please,’ she pleads as she tries to stand. I keep my arms around her calves, preventing her from moving away. ‘Olivia!’ Alex demands more earnestly. I release her. She stalks to the kitchen, using the bar to steady herself, ‘You are throwing your career, your friends, colleagues, your freedom, your life away! For _me_. You don’t even realise it. Do you have any idea what you’re doing?’ Alex states plainly, her every word jarring me. ‘You were stripped naked and assaulted in public...’ 

‘I would suffer it again to sav...’ 

‘Exactly! Is that normal? Is that what a mate should expect from her life partner? Listen to what you’re saying, _please_ ,’ Alex looks me straight in the eye, her expression almost unreadable. _Her ice mask is in place,_ I realise as I get up from the floor and walk to the other side of the bar. 

‘I have no idea what normal is as I’ve never felt this way before. From what you said in Bellvue, neither have you. What the hell is normal?’ I ask, my upset fast turning to fear. 

‘You held a gun to your partner’s head. You allowed tens of people to assault you to protect me. Six officers are still in hospital. What part of that is normal?’ Alex counters, looking at me with utter determination to win her case. 

I look into her soul for a full five minutes, wishing I wasn’t arguing about our very lives with a trained attorney. _This_ _war of words will_ _not_ _end well for_ _me._  

‘Forgive me, Olivia. _Please_. I have been so selfish. That day I tested you, I should _never_ have done it. I should never have touched you, tested you, invited you in. As soon as I regained consciousness and smelt you, I knew,’ Alex pauses to catch her breath and to control the tears threatening to thaw the ice. ‘I made a choice to allow you into my life. I’ve ruined yours to serve my own. No one has _ever_ treated me the way you do. The moment I saw you I was hooked. I needed you, needed to pair with you, mate with you. It was all about me and what I wanted…’ 

‘I wanted… I want you more than anything in this world,’ I interrupt her. ‘What the _hell_ does that make me? The Detective who hungers after a rape victim? _My_ case victim?’ I spit out, in my attempts to appease her guilt. 

‘You just want to fuck me?’ Alex challenges brazenly, surprising me for a third time. I realise she is trying to stoke my anger. _Breathe_.  

‘I want to live, breathe and love Alexandra Cabot until the day I die,’ I answer honestly as tears spill from my eyes. ‘I’m not giving you up.’ I immediately regret my words when I notice the anguish etched into her features. 

‘Don’t sound like them,’ Alex whispers quietly, her body trembling with disgust and memory. 

‘Forgive me...’ I implore as I walk round to Alex’s side of the bar, '...but I'm _not_ like them.’ She backs away from me, not out of fear but to maintain distance. I wait until her eyes look into mine, ‘I. LOVE. YOU,’ I exhale deeply as I realise I’ve laid all my cards on the table. 

Tears glisten in Alex’s iridescent orbs, ‘I know,’ she says simply. She rounds the other side of the bar as she attempts to control her breathing. ‘You beat up your partner _and_ did it in front of the ADA! What the _hell_ were you thinking?’ Alex raises her voice an octave as she tries to maintain her ire over more vulnerable emotions. _I know she is trying to break me, for my own benefit._  

‘You’re just lucky I didn’t kill him!’ I shout back as Alex lowers her head, hiding her eyes from me. 

‘Are you _listening_ to yourself?’ she asks as she slams her hand down on the counter top between us. ‘You’re a NYPD Detective and you’re willing to hurt, even kill, somebody you trusted for what, years? For someone you’ve known all of five minutes!’ Alex finally lifts her gaze to meet mine. ‘You’re willing to jeopardise your career...’ 

I sigh heavily as I try to think of something impactful to say, ‘What more can I do to prove myself to you?’ my voice cracks. 

I watch as the tears finally begin to fall down over Alex's cheekbones, collecting momentarily in the hollows of her cheeks. ‘I don't want you to prove yourself. I want you to have a normal, healthy, free life; full of laughter, purpose and choices. Not this. _No_ _t_ this.’ 

‘You aren't the governor of my life choices, Alex,’ I argue, as I lean against the bar, gripping the counter top to stop myself falling apart. 

‘From the moment we met, that’s exactly what I’ve become,’ Alex says as she wipes her tears away angrily. ‘When was the last time you had a thought without me either being in it or a reason behind it?’ I don’t respond. ‘The reason I know that? Every thought, feeling or motivation I have had since meeting you, has surrounded you,’ Alex's voice breaks as her tears finally give way to sobs. She loses the battle to keep her emotions in any check. I try to approach her again, my heart battered and bleeding on the counter top between us. Alex backs away, holding her arms up to ward me off, ‘I can't...’ She pushes me away as I try to embrace her. I step back, wishing to respect her need for space whilst hungering to console her with every fibre of my being. ‘You know the sickest part? I _wanted_ you to hurt him. I wanted you to hurt him _so_ badly. And when you did, it was one of the most arousing experiences of my life! How _sick_ is that?' Alex asks rhetorically. 

'You are the _only_ person whose ever fought for me... I’ve always had to fight for myself, defend myself, surrender myself to stay alive.’ I stand frozen, unable to speak as Alex pauses to catch her breath, leaning against the bar, her sobs wracking her lithe body. _My Alex,_ my soul screams. 

‘Do you have _any_ idea how it feels to finally meet someone I _want_ to mate with? Let alone someone who can touch me, embrace me, _wash_ me, mate ... make love to me, without raping me, abusing me?’ My body trembles, feeling overwhelmed with the emotions flooding me as I try to maintain our physical distance. My nails dig into my palms as I bite my tongue, tasting blood. ‘The day of the first line up, I genuinely believed I was going to my death. I thought even you, the one person who had proved herself up until that point, was going to succumb to physiology and ravage me,’ Alex admits as her whole body shudders, reliving the horror. ‘You saved me... by sacrificing yourself,’ she whispers in utter disbelief. ‘I can’t live with it, with you constantly putting yourself in...’ Alex’s voice trails off as her emotions consume her. 

I take a step towards her, my body coiled so tightly as I wait for one sign, one gesture of permission to wrap my arms around her forever. 

‘I'm so sorry Olivia. God, I'm so sorry.’ I can’t hold it any longer. I envelope her in a fierce embrace as tears cascade down our faces. She fights my hold briefly before her body collapses into it. 

‘Alexandra, I need you to listen to me. Just listen,’ I pause, feeling the slightest nudge of her head against mine in acknowledgement. ‘I know what you're trying to do. But you are the _only_ thing I’m certain of. You are my life now. I would maim a thousand Elliot’s; I would suffer a thousand hells to keep you safe. And I'd rather die than ever spend four _fucking_ hours waiting for you again!’ I admonish, trying to dispel some of the tension as I lean back slightly to cup her face. ‘You are my life, but I can’t and won’t force you. If you want me to step down as your handler, I will. But it’s _my_ choice whether I put my career, my life at risk. And I choose to, thru heaven and hell, until the day we die,' I state with absolute certainty.  

‘If you die trying to protect me, it'll destroy me,’ Alex whispers thru her tears, her eyes a sea of turbulent conflict. 

‘If you die, it'll kill me,’ I breathe, awed that this spirited, flaxen haired beauty has survived her torturous life alone, until now. 

A skin prickling whimper escapes Alex’s lips. I gaze into her eyes, her magnificent, cloudy blue eyes, as I witness the pain, the guilt, the need battle on. _Please_ _!_  

Her hands slowly travel up my back to my nape, sending shivers of hope, of promise thru me. The slightest pressure of her fingers is enough. ‘My Olivia,’ she whispers, the conflict finally easing in her eyes. _Thank_ _Christ!!_ My heart ricochets with mind numbing relief. Only as I inhale the deepest of breathes do I realise I'd stopped breathing. I blink to refocus my blurred vision and pray that my legs don’t give out. 

‘My Alex,’ I reply breathlessly, knowing nothing and noone will ever wrench this intoxicating creature from my heart. ‘If you _ever_ try this again, I'll put you down myself!’ I joke half heartedly, the low chuckle that reluctantly escapes Alex's lips turning my relief to quaking need, in a heartbeat. 


	17. My Olivia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Olivia
> 
> Rating: Explicit Content.

My phone suddenly rings, spooking us. I look at the caller ID: _Cragen_. I loathe the intrusion.

‘Benson,’ I answer with barely concealed annoyance as I step away from Alex.

‘Liv?’

‘Who else would it be Don?’ I ask irritably, lacking any respect for him or his rank. Alex glances at me, her eyes cautious.

‘I know you’re angry, Detective. I didn’t expect them to cross paths again. I’m sorry, so very sorry. I gave him instructions to stay home until after the line up. He's been suspended pending an investig...’

‘I can’t _believe_ the absolute blindness of your fuck up, especially considering your ex-partner. What the actual fuck Don?!’ I pause to collect myself. ‘Also, I’m _not_ the person you need to apologise too,’ I hiss thru clenched teeth as I try to contain my anger. _Breathe_. ‘Where does this leave Miss Cabot’s investigation? I’m assuming one will affect the other?’

‘This is what I need to talk to you about. Come to my office first thing tomorrow morning,’ Cragen requests with a softness I find jarring, obviously relieved my anger has been dampened by practicality.

‘I think I’ve had just about enough of your office; that building. Let’s meet at Judy’s,’ I suggest the private diner impatiently, wanting to get back to the love of my life.

‘Okay, what time?’ Cragen knows not to argue.

I look over to Alex, her eyes pierce mine. ‘9am.’

‘I'd like to clear the air with _both_ of you and Miss Cabot does need to hear what I have to say.’ I can’t help feeling the slightest respect that he has the guts to face us both, together.

‘Okay, have Novak leave Miss Cabot a message,’ I suggest, spur of the moment, before I end the call abruptly.

I gaze at Alex, her oversized hoody looking like a thousand dollar accessory, her hair immaculate and flowing down her shoulders effortlessly, her glasses framing the delicate angles of her jaw and cheekbones, her willowy legs deserving of any shaving commercial or world leg competition. _Astonishingly beautiful._

Her arched brow accentuates the questioning look in her eyes, ‘Both of us?’ I answer her before she cuts me off with a raised hand, not wanting to hear more. I'm struck by her understanding. She near struts over to me. ‘Follow me,’ she whispers into my ear before she grasps my hand and leads me to her bedroom. My heart feels ready to explode with the love, joy and need coursing thru it as I follow her.

Once we’re standing next to her bed, she turns to me with a look I have never seen in her eyes before. Her expression shows absolute trust and _dare I think it, love._ My abdomen tenses as the oxygen is knocked out of me. I become lost in her as she begins lifting the hoody over my head. As soon as it’s off, Alex steps back to admire my body. Feeling self-conscious, I reach for her but she shakes her head and bats my hands away. I watch as her eyes take in every curve, every line, every imperfection on my body. Her breath becomes ragged as her gaze burns a trail from the tips of my toes to the top of my head before her eyes scorch mine once more. I notice my own breathing hitch, my chest wheezing as Alex uncovers her magnificent body, throwing her hoody aside.

I swallow as my senses drink in every beautifully taut muscle, every delicate jut, every softness, every scar. Her neck, her collarbones, her ribs just visible under her skin, her hips, her neck hollow enthral me. When my gaze return to hers, I tighten my lips to prevent the moan of need escaping and somehow ruining this moment. I know to be silent. Instead, I allow my scent, my heart, my lungs, my gaze to show Alex exactly how I’m feeling: a heady mix of soul soaring love, relief, appreciation and desire. My heart stops as I read similar emotions in her eyes.

‘If we want to survive this case, we need to work on our self-control, stat,’ Alex states practically. ‘You listening?’ she asks, reading the emotions swimming in my eyes. I nod my head, excitement prickling every goose pimple on my body as I long to hear her commanding voice again. ‘Do you trust me?’ My face shows my surprise at her question because she laughs slightly. ‘Okay. I need you to lie on the bed and _not_ move.’

I climb onto the bed and lay down on my back, waiting for her next instruction. I realise she is as aroused by her control of me as I am being controlled. Her body shudders slightly as she takes a deep steadying breath.

‘If you move, I’ll stop. If you try to take control, I’ll...' I swallow the lump in my throat, acutely aware of the reasoning behind her pause. 'If you come before I allow it, I’ll stop for weeks. Questions?’ Alex asks, her tone deeper than ever before. My clit aches in anticipation.

‘Do _you_ trust me?’ I ask for her safety, not mine.

She bites her lip as she removes her glasses so that I can see just how much she trusts me, ‘I trust you with my life.’ My abdomen tightens, my muscles trembling as I grab the sheets either side of me, praying I’ll be strong enough to restrain myself. Alex runs a hand thru her luscious hair, as she wonders where to begin. ‘Close your eyes Olivia,’ she requests. I close them.

For a while I feel her continue to peruse my body. This delay heightens my arousal still further. ‘You are so beautiful, Olivia,’ she whispers huskily in my ear. I knot the sheets in my fists to stop myself from startling and clutching her to me. My heart hammers as I try to reduce the panting governing my aching chest. I feel her lips on my forehead, marking me; her lover, her mate, her life partner. A tear escapes my eye, the gesture so pure, so innocent yet so powerful. _I am yours_. Her lips move to my eye lids, kissing each in turn before she licks the stray tear away, her hand moving to squeeze mine briefly. _God, I love you,_ my mind screams. _I can’t remember whether she told me I'm forbidden to speak_. Before I can think further, her mouth covers mine in the softest, most beautiful kiss I have ever experienced. I hadn’t noticed before that she tastes of hot chocolate and mint. I savour her taste as she withdraws her lips to place her mouth at my neck, her hair tickling my face. Alex plants such delicate kisses under my ear and over my collarbones that I melt inside. I dig my nails into my palms thru the sheets. I feel my abdomen clench as I try to distract myself with thoughts of anything other than Alexandra Cabot.

I almost scream when I feel her teeth nibbling my left nipple whilst her fingers caress my right. I can’t control the whimper that escapes my lips as Alex continues her journey exploring the landscape of my body. I twitch slightly as her teeth give way to her tongue, torturing my already rock-hard nipple as her fingers persist in fondling my other breast. I feel wetness between my legs. _Shit!_ _Breathe!_ Just when I feel ready to explode, Alex’s tongue orphans my peak and travels downward, delighting in my quivering abdomen. I gasp as her tongue delves into my tummy button, her hand floating down past my navel, teasing the soft skin there. My heart drums a deafening beat as my bodies every nerve ending dances to Alex’s rhythm. _Oh my god!_

‘Breathe Olivia,’ comes her low, intoxicating voice as I try to do just that, my chest feeling tight and uncooperative. ‘Maybe I should…’

‘No!’ I plead loudly into the quiet room, knowing Alex is about to stop so I can catch my breath. _Screw breathing,_ my mind yells as I open my eyes. The sight of Alexandra Cabot leaning over me, naked; concern, love and scorching heat in her eyes is almost my undoing. ‘ _Please_ ,’ I beg as I take a rib shaking breath.

I watch the concern on her stunning features subside. ‘Close your eyes, my Alpha.’ I look into her eyes curiously, as I inhale another sharp breath. Alex’s intense gaze pins me, demanding my unquestioning acquiescence. I close my eyes.

My breathing hitches almost immediately as Alex continues exactly where she left off; her tongue circling my tummy button whilst her fingers edge ever closer to my core. _God!_ I fist the sheets as I try to stop myself grabbing Alex and pulling her under me. Just when I’m certain she’ll relent, her touch disappears from my body. I whimper at the loss, wondering what I should do.

Then I feel her parting my legs. I can’t help but moan and tremble as Alex’s nails and lips make their way up the insides of my limbs. Once they reach my inner thighs, I feel the slightest brush against my clit. I gasp as tremors of pleasure jolt thru me. I wrench the sheets to prevent my body thrashing in open euphoria. I bite my lip to quieten a whimper as I feel a second brush against me, this time harder, as my insides somersault, my body a quivering wreck. ‘ _Please!’_

‘Stay with me Olivia,’ I hear Alex breathe encouragingly, obviously knowing her dulcet tones arouse me to distraction.

I hear a buzzing sound and glorify in the knowledge that this blissful torture is surely near it’s end. Alex places it against my inner thigh, allowing the vibrations to tease me without causing me to lose complete control. I suddenly feel Alex’s lips on mine, her tongue taking ownership, waging and winning a teasing war with my own. My body trembles as I feel Alex’s breath catch. She repositions herself, so our bodies align. Then, I feel her tool vibrate its way down between my breasts, down my quivering abdomen to between our aching bodies. _I’m dreaming_. I open my eyes just as Alex’s lips gasp against mine as it touches us simultaneously. Every drop of my blood is in conflict, rushing towards either my lips or my clit as I’m doubly assaulted by the magic that is my life partners artistry. Alex intensifies our pleasure as she strokes the already exquisite device against us, making the friction unbearable. I thrust my body up to meet hers, losing the will to remain still. Thankfully, Alex is too close to care as she continues stroking us until we can no longer see, our primal focus on one end and one end alone. Together we begin to stiffen and tremble thru the first whispers of climax. I watch Alex, her eyes smouldering as the whispers become shuddering cries of ecstasy. I raise my head to claim her mouth, our cries becoming near soundless gasps, as we breach the crests of our earth shattering orgasms. Alex tears her mouth away as she stretches her neck in rapture, closing her eyes to magnify the sensations rioting thru her. My body quivers painfully as I nuzzle the sinews under her jawline, gaining an appreciative moan from her lips.

Finally, her beautiful, rippling form collapses onto mine, our bodies one jolting mass of sated fulfilment.

We remain there, wonderfully intertwined, as I thank fates that the day from hell ended with such an inviting glimpse of heaven. _Exactly what I signed up for,_ I realise, amused. _My Alex._

I finally trust myself enough to loosen my claw like grip on the sheets and wrap my arms around her in a soft but owning embrace. A sigh escapes her lips. I smile, closing my eyes knowing sleep won’t come easily with this breathtakingly beautiful woman so achingly close.

‘Olivia?’ I hear her breathe against my neck, scorching my skin.

‘Mmm?’

‘I love you.’

My battered heart ricochets anew, ‘And I love you, my Omega.’ I take delight in the sound of her heavenly laugh as her breath tickles my skin. 


	18. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Olivia
> 
> Rating: Mature Content

3am 

I jolt awake and immediately feel for Alex. My hands glide to the other side of the bed: _Empty_ _._ The sheets are cold. My heart rate spikes instantly as I jump out of bed in search of my life. I grab my gun and hurriedly peek into Alex’s ensuite before I quietly open the bedroom door.  

A different trigger quickens my heart as I spot Alex sat at the kitchen bar, typing on her laptop; paperwork, coffee cups and highlighters strewn around her. She senses me as she turns, takes off her glasses and gives me a curious look when she spies my piece. I shrug in explanation as I lean against the doorframe to drink in her ruffled flaxen mane, her body covered by a crisp white shirt that gives her illuminous skin a slight sun kissed hue, her long legs tucked under the stall, her bare feet hanging lazily over the foot rest. _Breathe_ _!_ Alex is doing everything she can to prepare for her case and I am standing here, naked, wanting nothing more than to flip the outside world the finger and carry Alex back to bed to live out the rest of our lives in ecstasy. _Control, remember Liv._ _Breathe._  

I watch as Alex smiles at me, her iridescent eyes tired but dazzling, before she returns to her work. I admire her self-control. _Breathe_ _._ My clit shudders involuntarily as I take another deep breath, using all the will I have to retrace my steps into her bedroom to pull the hoody over my head. 

I re-enter Alex’s living space and sit on the stool opposite her. I raise my gaze to find her piercing eyes locked on my features. My heart stops. ‘Trust yourself more Olivia,’ she says with such tenderness that my whole body trembles. ‘You are so worried you’ll overstep my boundaries that you haven’t noticed you are the only person within my boundary walls. I want you as much as you want me. I won’t leave you. Remember that, _please_ ,’ Alex pleads as she brings her hand up to stroke my cheek whilst her beautiful eyes reach into my soul. ‘You are the only person I have _ever_ trusted, wanted,’ she whispers softly as she leans across the bar to kiss me. I close my eyes as her taste, her scent, her aura consumes me. My stomach quivers as our lips part. Alex leans her forehead against mine.  

‘I'll never entirely trust myself around you,’ I stress as I gaze at her lips. ‘I can’t ever hurt you.’ 

‘You won’t,’ Alex states confidently as she nuzzles my temple. 

‘I’m capable of hurting people, Alex,’ I remind her as every fibre of my being aches. 

‘I know. But so are most people given the right provocation,’ Alex argues as her mouth claims mine once more. Blood surges to my lips, to my clit as I try not to get lost in her. Alex breaks the kiss; her panting breathes washing over my skin. ‘There have been ample opportunities for you to hurt me, both in and out of ‘heat’. You can take me at will and I can’t stop you. But you haven’t. You _haven’t_ ,’ she emphasises as she cradles my face in her hands, her eyes imploring me to believe her.  

I take another deep breath. ‘My genes are half… rapist,’ I stutter as I wait for disgust to settle on her breathtaking features. Alex pulls herself away from me slightly, her hands continuing to clutch my face as her eyes search mine, understanding and compassion in their depths. 

‘I’m so sorry Olivia,’ Alex replies comfortingly, completely blindsiding me. ‘My genes are also half rapist. But does that make me capable of rape?’ Sensibility hits. _O_ _f course_ _Alex’s father was a rapist, along with her step father,_ _her_ _brother,_ _her_ _grandfather…_ _No wonder she was so alone._ I shudder. ‘You have chosen a role that protects victims. What kind of person does that make you?’  

Only when I absentmindedly wipe away a tear do I realise my eyes are rebelling against me. ‘I love you,’ I say, my voice thick with emotion.  

‘And I love you.’  

My hands reach up to cradle her face as I place my lips on her forehead. _My Alex._ I clear my throat as I sit back and distract myself with her paperwork. ‘What are you up to at this time in the morning?’    

Alex takes a deep breath, glancing down at her notes as she tucks a stray hair behind her ear. ‘Novak said there is another victim. Can you tell me about her?’ I look at Alex curiously, wondering where she is going with this. 

‘Kate Reisner? 34, single, gay, a doctor. She was tied to a tree and raped by Bob Ashton four years ago. A good Samaritan found her the following morning.’ I watch as Alex’s eyes seethe for a moment before her ire disappears behind her carefully constructed ice façade. ‘Positive for DNA but we couldn’t find the perp. The case went co...’ 

‘Is she like me?’ Alex interrupts me.  

‘In what way?’ I ask dumbly as she begins to nibble her pen. I swallow to stop myself whimpering as the drum in my ears deafens me. My clit clenches painfully. ‘Please stop,’ I request softly.  

As soon as she realises what she’s doing, Alex puts the pen down, ‘Sorry.’ She pins me with her intense gaze, wishing to stay on topic. ‘Is she an Omega?’ I wonder whether that’s an official term for Alex and her…kind. 

I gaze at her candidly as I comprehend her meaning. ‘No Alex, she isn’t,’ I reply, my soul plummeting as I watch the disappointment build in her eyes. ‘I’ve never met anyone like you before, with your pull before,’ I add as Alex exhales heavily, her eyes lowering to the paperwork.  

‘This is the first time in so long that I've actually wanted my mother,’ she whispers forlornly as she stands up and leans against the counter top, her arms crossed. I can’t help the selfish pang that surges thru me with the knowledge I am not enough. ‘I hated her for a long time. She ended her life to escape her pain, but she left me at my step father’s and brother’s mercy,’ Alex voices as she looks past me. ‘I hated her so much that I’d…’ She takes a wavering breath. ‘But to know someone with the same affliction, the same… God, what I wouldn’t give to find someone else who fears every second of every single day, wondering whether they’re going to be torn apart by every stranger within a sixty-foot radius,’ Alex stops to regain her composure as she gazes at me with a painfully haunted expression. The look in her eyes makes me want to hunt down every single person who has abused this mesmerising beauty and torture them; kill them. My body keens for every ounce of her hurt to pour into me as I gather her in my arms.  

 

8:30am 

I wake to find Alex laid across me on the sofa, her form twitching slightly in deep slumber. I watch her beautiful features, entirely at peace. _If only she could have this_ _tranquillity during her waking hours,_ my mind dreams.  

She finally stirs and stares at me with her intoxicating cloudy blue eyes. My body shivers as I gaze into them. 'Morning,' I greet her softly as I brush a lock of hair from her face.

'Morning,' Alex replies as she snuggles her head deeper into my chest.

It takes everything for me to delicately place Alex’s head on the sofa beneath us so I can stand and stretch my sore limbs. I walk to the kitchen to douse my face with water. 'Did Novak tell you about our meeting this morning?' 

'Yes. She said you and Cragen were meeting at 9 but suggested we meet elsewhere first and then join you later...'

'So are you going to meet her first or..?' I ask as I use a towel to dry my face. 

'We'll meet you and Cragen at 9:30 to give you some time to make amends.' Her words surprise me as I turn to her. Alex reads my questioning look. 'You need him Olivia. Plus, your partner went against his orders,' Alex reasons flawlessly. 'Cragen's not the enemy.' 

I turn back to the sink, my mind waging an internal war as conflicting arguments fire simultaneously: _He should have more control over his_ _squad, but he is human._ _He should know better, but he has never intentionally hurt Alex_ _. He's a bastard for_ _putting me in this p_ _osition, but what a po_ _sition_ _to be in. And Alex is forgiving him..._

'You know I'm right Olivia,' she continues as she leans on her elbows to look at me. 

 _I know she is. The Captain has failed my life but if she is willing to forgive him, so must I._ 'I think it's best if we act like you storming out of his office is the last time we saw each other. We can't let this,' I point at us, '...weaken the case,' I suggest as I gauge Alex's reaction. 

She nods her head slowly before she gazes at me. 'You can't touch me or do that thing you do with your eyes.'

'What thing?' I ask, receiving a knowing look from her.

'You know. It's probably best you don't look at me at all if you can help it,' Alex suggests unhelpfully.

I shake my head in thought. 'I don't think we can fool the squad or Novak.'

'Do you trust your squad to hold this?' Alex questions as she gets up from the sofa and starts pacing the living room.

I look at the love of my life, anxiety written all over her beautiful features. 'Alex,' I call out to gain her attention. She stops and looks at me, biting her lip as she tries to prevent the ready tears from falling. I walk to her, enveloping her in my arms. 'I think they've figured they've not only fucked up but I will hurt them if they so much as reach for you or harm your case,' I reassure her as I kiss the tears from her face. 'Do you trust me?' 

'With my life, body and soul,' she answers immediately, looking into my eyes with the most heartwarming expression I could ever dream of receiving.

'I'll make amends with the Cap and we _will_ survive this, my Alexandra,' I promise as I embrace her thru the despair pouring from her body. 


	19. Reconnect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia reconnects with Cragen.  
> Alex and Novak join the pack later.
> 
> Rating: Mature Content.

Judy’s Diner 

I spot Cragen sat in a secluded corner booth at the back of the diner. I watch him for a moment. From his stance, I can see the weight of the world lays heavily on his shoulders. I exhale deeply, steeling myself against the chill creeping up my spine as I walk towards him.   

His kind eyes look up and follow my approach. I sit opposite him awkwardly, our nervousness all too evident as I try to think of something to break the ice. Cragen pushes a flask towards me. ‘Hot chocolate?’ I ask, suddenly thinking of Alex and her taste. I lick my lips thirstily.  

‘What else?’ he replies with hope in his eyes. I give him a slight smile in thanks before Cragen's face turns serious. ‘I’m so sorry Liv,’ he whispers, his apology so sincere that I can’t help but thaw under his guilt. 

‘Cap, I…’ I begin, struggling to find the words. ‘Forgive me for the damage I have caused this case and to our relationship. I’ve screwed up too,’ I admit as I watch his eyes mist with relief. 

‘Liv, I should never have put you in this position. I should’ve delegated this case to a non-pull person, from a different state if necessary. But I didn’t and still don’t trust anyone else to handle Miss Cabot. Even after…’ Cragen's voice trails off as he lowers his eyes, his meaning clear.  

‘You didn’t know the effect she would have on me,’ I counter in his defence as I focus on my hands.  

‘Yes, I did,’ Cragen confesses as he raises his gaze.  

I feel a heaviness behind my eyes as moisture collects at the rims. I lean back in my seat and inhale a steadying breath. ‘Then why?’ I ask as I try to understand his decision.  

‘I didn’t think you would hurt her. Well, not as badly. You know the second reason,’ Cragen answers honestly as he looks past me, his discomfort palpable. _He knows my core fear is becoming a rapist._  

I swallow as I stare at him intently. ‘We both know female on female rape can be just as harrowing. In some cases, more so with _yet_ _another_ layer of stigma,’ I state angrily as I try to fathom the error in his judgement.  

‘I know,’ Cragen acknowledges quietly. ‘Things were different back then. Thirty years ago, there were less female cops. Miss Cabot’s mother and grandmother had to survive whilst surrounded by a male ‘protective’ detail. I hoped by placing her with you, Miss Cabot would be safer,’ Cragen explains as he ignores his cooling coffee. 

Instead of agreeing with his ultimately correct assumption, I press on. 'Are you saying a woman is less dangerous than a man? Because Alex has been raped by women,' I stress my point, not really waiting for or wanting an answer as I watch Cragen run a hand over his head. I change topic: ‘Why wasn’t Elliot suspended on the spot?’ I ask as I grip my flask tightly to prevent my anger spilling over. 

‘Because I didn’t _witness_ the assault and there was no complainant,’ Cragen answers practically. ‘I knew only that Elliot had grabbed hold of Miss Cabot.’ _Shit_ _!_ ‘Which, obviously in itself, was inappropriate. That’s why I gave him orders to stay away from the precinct until after the line up. Only when Novak told me later, did I learn there had been a sexual assault,’ Cragen finally provides the clarification my hormone driven mind has been blind to comprehending. I lower my gaze as guilt penetrates my core. _Why was I so quick to turn against my Captain?_ ‘Liv?’ I raise my head to look into his soft eyes. ‘Elliot is suspended and not allowed anywhere near the precinct, Miss Cabot or yourself. I understand why you’re angry with me, with Elliot, with the world. Please believe I would never knowingly place anyone in danger,’ he finishes, sighing deeply as he waits for his words to sink in. 

‘Please forgive me,’ is all I can voice as I stare at the flask to stop the stinging tears from falling. 

‘Only if you forgive me?’ Cragen replies as he lowers his gaze to draw my eyes up. It works. I look at him with renewed eyes. We both nod in understanding. ‘Okay,’ he says, drawing a line under the topic. We pick up our lukewarm drinks and sip in amicable silence for a moment, revelling in our newfound connection. 'Novak also told me you and Miss Cabot…’ _No!_  

‘Then I’m assuming she also told you Alex stormed out of the office and I haven’t see…’ 

‘Don’t lie to me Liv!’ Cragen utters fiercely, tapping his hand against the table angrily. 

‘We’re… together,’ I concede thru unwilling lips. 

‘Thank you,’ he says to my eventual honesty. ‘We need to contain it. Period.’ When Cragen doesn’t speak further about it, I’m eternally grateful, knowing I’m an unethical, immoral disgrace of a cop for over stepping every professional boundary. _But somehow, my Cap understands_ _;_ _truly_ _understands_ _my lack of c_ _hoice_ _in_ _the matter._  

‘Thank you,’ I mirror his words, as I bite my lip to stop the waves of guilt and relief overwhelming me. 

Cragen takes a steadying breath before he changes the subject. ‘Unfortunately, there is no way to ignore Elliot’s suspension and the impact it will have on Miss Cabot’s case. Her handler’s partner being suspended for misconduct is on record. The defence will explore every single detail,’ Cragen states in complete frustration.  

‘Fuck,’ I mutter knowing the slime ball defence attorney, Lionel Granger, will take great pleasure in humiliating and violating Alex on the stand. I feel the blood drain from my face, believing it was ultimately my fault that this will now be part of Alex's case. 

‘And let’s not forget the very public assaults on you, Miss Cabot and those six officers outside the precinct.’ I wince at the ramifications of that day. ‘There is no way of containing the hormonal element of Miss Cabot’s situation,’ Cragen whispers, defeated, as I tremble at the thought of telling her. 

My heart rate suddenly rockets, my skin moistens and my lungs strain as I sense the only being that matters. _Alex._ I turn, unable to control my need to _see_ her, to ensure she is unharmed following her meeting with Novak. Alex’s eyes focus solely on mine as she and the ADA walk towards us. Her beautiful face looks pale and drawn but I discern a slight flush to her cheeks as they draw closer. My abdomen quivers with molten heat, knowing my own cheeks are now flush with the scent, the aura of my life partner.  

As they sit down, Novak next to Cragen and Alex next to me, it takes everything to not reach out and touch her. I notice Alex’s hands are fisted. _Obviously having the same battle,_ my mind registers, causing my heart to leap into my throat with desire. 

‘Captain,’ Alex says as Novak nods her head in greeting. ‘Casey...’ Alex using the ADA's first name gaols me for some pathetic reason. _Stop it!_ I chide myself. ‘...has filled me in. I’m sorry I held you responsible,’ she apologises, her iridescent eyes falling on Cragen.  

I watch him take several deep breathes. ‘Please forgive my handling of this case to date. In truth, I don’t know how to handle this so I'm trying and failing...’ 

‘Have you ever touched me or put me at intentional risk?’ Alex interrupts him so eloquently that I feel mine and the other bodies around her noticeably shiver. My hackles rise, my body alert and primed to fight for my life partner if necessary. _Breathe_. I try to calm myself, knowing my primal physiology is causing this reaction. 

‘No,’ Cragen answers briefly, his eyes looking between the three of us.  

‘Exactly. So enough apologising,’ Alex takes control of the meeting. My clit quakes in admiration. ‘Casey says there is no way of avoiding the hormonal aspect?’ Alex asks as she looks at me fleetingly. I keep my eyes looking forward in an attempt to control the urges flooding me. 

‘Yes, I’m afraid with Detective Stabler’s suspension and the hellish events outside the precinct, the defence is going to have a field day,’ Cragen admits as we all try not to focus on Alexandra Cabot. 

‘I'll make sure he doesn’t cross too many lines Alex. I'm prepping every hour of the day and night,’ Novak assures her as I notice for the first time how exhausted the ADA looks.

'How can we prep for something like this?' Alex asks, her voice desolate.

'We will have the element of surprise. They won't expect what we'll disclose and there is no way they can prepare for what they don't know.' 

Before Alex's attorney mind can question Novak's logic further, Cragen interjects: ‘Miss Cabot...’ 

‘Alex,’ Alex corrects him. 

‘I can’t... get... overly familiar,’ Cragen confesses heavily, as he looks to me for understanding. ‘I have to ask why now? With all you have experienced... why this assault?’  

Alex looks at us in turn, before she takes my hot chocolate to warm her hands. Feeling it to be cool, she beckons the waitress who takes a fresh order. I know she is playing for time. I also notice her arched brow when I ask for hot chocolate. I can’t help but smile slightly. 

Alex takes a deep breath. ‘If I hadn’t been tied down, you would never have met me,’ Alex admits honestly. My selfish heart hammers at the thought of never meeting this intoxicating creature versus the horror of her being tied down and assaulted. _Stop._ I swallow to prevent the upward surging bile from entering my mouth. ‘The next thing I remember is waking up to find a certain Detective watching over me with the softest brown eyes I have ever seen,’ Alex looks at me and I can’t help turning to meet her cloudy blues. A jolt runs between us before I break the contact. I turn to Cragen and Novak. Both are staring at us with a mixture of awe and jealousy. 

‘Er... if that happens every time you look at each other, we have a problem,’ Novak states plainly as colour flushes her cheeks.  

I’m part ashamed, part intrigued by how it must look. ‘What did you..?’ I ask, knowing I’m diverting the subject. 

‘Like we were watching the most profound love between two people,’ Cragen says as I glance at Alex who's gazing back. _Shit!_  

I turn to the Captain. ‘We'll work on that,’ I concede. ‘Sorry, you were saying Alex...’  

Alex bites her lip to compose herself before she continues: ‘I couldn’t lie to Olivia. Also, my attackers came prepared with a rape kit. They planned to rape someone that night,’ Alex explains bravely as I dig my nails into my palms to stop myself from comforting her. ‘If my scent was the cause, I'd blame myself. But these... strays were different. They are intentional, career opportunists. If they aren’t prosecuted, they will keep on raping women,’ Alex states with certainty as the table goes quiet, everyone in awe of the radiant and spirited beauty before us. 

Novak finds her voice. ‘You’ve lived your entire life blaming yourself for every assault you have endured?’ She asks, incredulous. 

Alex swallows the lump in her throat as the waitress walks over with our order. We all clutch our drinks fiercely. ‘Yes, until I met Olivia. Now I know Alphas can control themselves if they really want to, if their conscience outweighs their desire. I know my body makes it incredibly difficult, especially during ‘heat’ week. But I now know a person’s desire is still within their control. No one has the right to violate me. I know that now,’ Alex near whispers as my hand reaches to squeeze hers. _My Alex_ , my soul screams as I feel her squeeze mine before I release her. 

‘Alpha? So what does that make you?’ Novak asks, her eyes fascinated.  

‘I’m an Omega. I’m at each and every Alpha's mercy unless they have a conscience,’ Alex clarifies. 

‘The labels you’re using aren’t in the sealed files,’ Novak states, her mouth hanging slightly open in wonder. 

‘I’ve conducted a lot of research over the years and come to the conclusion that my situation is most similar to wolf hierarchy with me at the very bottom.’ 

‘Where are we?’ Cragen asks, equally fascinated. 

‘Higher than me,’ Alex concedes, her honesty overruling her vulnerability. I'm acutely aware my presence is aiding her courage. _There is no way she would_ _openly_ _admit_ _to such_ _vulnerability without protection._ _My Omega._  

‘Right,’ Cragen says as he clears his throat. ‘How open would you be to seeing a psychiatrist who may be able to help your and our understanding of this?’ Cragen asks as Alex visibly shudders. ‘He may have knowledge of whether there are others out there?’ We all gaze at Alex. 

She shifts uncomfortably in her seat. I can tell she isn’t fond of the idea. ‘I don’t trust doctors,’ Alex states briefly. My immediate understanding makes my blood run cold. 

‘I can see what you’re thinking Cap, but I think another avenue...’ I begin, wishing to protect her. 

‘This psychiatrist is safe,’ Cragen interrupts with such confidence that my interest is peaked. _He wouldn't make such a bold statement without due cause._ I look at Alex whose eyes radiate scepticism. ‘He's from the FBI. He’s highly professional, has passed every security clearance known to man _and_ he's gay,’ Cragen finishes as he watches our reactions. I notice Novak lower her eyes to her coffee for a moment. 

‘What exactly can he do for me?’ Alex asks the obvious question. 

‘I don’t know,’ Cragen replies honestly. ‘But he’s got a wealth of knowledge surrounding both physiological and psychological... conditions. He’s available tomorrow. Maybe it’s worth a shot?’ 

‘You’ve already discussed Alex with him?’ I ask him angrily. 

Cragen stares back, a drop of sweat beading on his brow, as he feels our wrath penetrating his orbs. ‘No. I looked up his schedule and reserved a session under my name just in case you were open to it.’ I immediately back down, raising my hand in apology. I register understanding in his eyes. _Fucking_ _physiology!_  

Alex gazes at me, weighing up my thoughts without speaking a word. She turns to Cragen and Novak who, again, are staring at us with mixed emotions in their eyes. ‘I’ll do it but only if Olivia can come with me.’  

Cragen immediately nods his acquiesce. ‘It's at 10am.’ He takes out a piece of paper containing the psychiatrists details and gives it to Alex before he stands. ’I need to get back to the precinct.’ Novak stands too. 

‘Casey tells me all three strays have been remanded. When will the trial begin?’ Alex asks practically.  

‘We'll let you know as soon as we do. Judge Donnelly is taking her own sweet time,’ Novak replies, frustrated with the court house politics. 

‘I can't attend court next week,’ Alex states anxiously. I turn to her, shocked that her ‘heat’ week has come round again so soon.  

‘We'll see what we can do about that,’ Cragen and Novak say in unison. 

‘It’s not open to discussion. Is that clear?’ I stress heatedly, knowing better than most how dangerous such an oversight can be. 

‘Clear,’ Cragen agrees at once.  

I look at Novak for confirmation. ‘I’ll have to pull in every favour to get Donnelly on side,’ she concedes. 

‘Do what you have to do,’ I state, my tone deathly firm, leaving no room for error.  

Novak and Cragen shuffle out of the booth. I stand too to ensure Alex and I aren’t seen alone together publicly. _Bumping_ _into Lionel Granger_ _would be fodder for the defence_ _._ Alex obediently follows my lead.  

We pay and leave the diner, our newly ordered drinks lukewarm and untouched. 


	20. Dominance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Olivia talk over the phone.
> 
> Please skip if you don't like slight Sub/Dom references.
> 
> Rating: Explicit Content

Olivia's Apartment

I'm sitting alone in my apartment, a space that no longer holds meaning. It feels hollow, void of warmth; a warmth that only emanates from one source: _Alex._   

We decided it was best if I sleep at my apartment for the duration of the trial. The meeting had ratcheted up the paranoia that our love, our pull is too evident and could leak back to the defence. _Call it paranoia, call it psycho_ _;_ _I'm beyond caring save Alex and her case._   

The four of us know the case lies on a knife edge. _Alex is sacrificing her safety, potentially her freedom, her life because_ _the_ _strays_ _planned on assaulting someone that night; because they made it impossible for her to escape._ _The bastards_ _tied her down before_ _savage_ _ly_ _raping_ _her and then_ _left_ _her there, helpless and broken;_ _so_ _they could return to dine on her body like a wolf pack returning to a kill._ I shudder as I imagine the damage such an experience could leave on the psyche. _Let allow all the_ _oth_ _..._ _Stop!_ I interrupt my own thoughts _._  

 _I can't quite believe how 'well'_ _Alex_ _is_ _do_ _ing considering the_ _endless_ _abuse she has suffered. I know my presence is quietly feeding her courage. But I also know if any other person had been beside her waking form at_ _Bellvue_ _, Alex would have shut down and fled at the earliest opportunity_. I lean my head back, squeezing my eyes shut in an attempt to quieten the guilt and anger consuming me. _I’m certainly_ _partially_ _to blame for the near impossible situation Alexandra Cabot finds herself in._ _Fuck!_  

I rub my eyes as I try to focus on the computer screen, the search engine bringing back yet more wolf orientated results when I specify 'Human Alpha/Omega relationships'. I sigh in frustration, feeling pissed at the world and a roaring thirst between my legs that only one, excruciatingly absent person can sate. 

My phone suddenly lights up. I reach for it and smile when I notice the sender. My heart rate spikes and my clit throbs at the sight of her words: ‘I know you’re up. Hope you’re making good use of your time.’ I smile at the coded message. We agreed to keep any communications professional in case the defence gets a scent of our relationship and uses it to acquit the strays. 

‘I'm trawling Google. You?’ My fingers shake with the effort it takes to keep from typing more personal endearments. 

Suddenly my cell rings. I pick up immediately without checking, knowing it can only be one person. ‘Alex?’ I answer, belatedly thinking I should have checked just in case. 

‘My Alpha,’ Alex breathes huskily as my abdomen clenches, my body melting. ‘I was just thinking, the defence can get hold of our text records but to listen in on our phone conversations would be entrapment.’ My body trembles as I listen to her argument. ‘I miss you,’ she confesses so earnestly that my skin can only shiver in silent assent. 

I finally regain my voice. ‘I miss you so much my body is slowly dying,’ I state dramatically earning a laugh from my life partner. My clit jolts at the beautiful sound. ‘What can I do...?’ I begin, wanting to ease Alex's burdens. 

‘I need you,’ Alex replies, heat radiating from her voice. My lungs collapse as my body responds to the request in her tone. My core shudders as I shift in my seat. 

‘I c... can't come over,’ I stutter as my chest heaves in rebellion against my panting breathes.  

‘I know,’ Alex responds immediately. ‘It's sick that during all this... uncertainty, all I can think about right now is you. What you fingers and tongue can do to me.’ _Oh Jesus!_ My mind screams whilst my body quivers in response to her tone, her words, her meaning.  

‘If that makes you sick, then I’m severely perverted. Because all I can think about is touching you, caressing you to provide some small relief from what you're going thru.’ 

‘ _Please_ don’t mention it now,’ Alex begs as I hear her voice waver, crushing my heart. My hand grips the cell like my life depends on it, our connection the only thing that matters.  

I'm acutely aware that I don’t want to lead _this_ in case I describe something that may hint at darker experiences so I wait for Alex to take the initiative. I hear her sigh before she repeats my name, causing my entire body to ripple with excitement. ‘The other night, I almost wanted you to take me, to lose control a little.’ I can’t believe my ears or my bodies reaction to her words; my abdomen stiffens as molten lava flows over my clit, coaxing me closer.  

‘Are you saying you wanted me to...’ 

‘Take control, nothing more, nothing less,’ Alex interrupts me to clarify her point. ‘I want you _all_ the time,’ she confesses as my vision narrows, my blood surging to my heart, lungs and clit. ‘I want you to reach a point where you can trust yourself enough to know you won’t hurt me,’ Alex adds as her voice pleads for me to heed her. 

‘Alex, I don’t trust...’ 

‘But I do,’ she interrupts me again. ‘When you grabbed me in the hallway, when you thought you’d lost me, you almost lost your self restraint. I felt it,’ Alex reminds me as my head wanders back to how difficult it was to wait for one sign, her sign, of consent. I'm unable to prevent a whimper escaping my lips as I try to stem my arousal. ‘I know how Alpha’s work Olivia. They have a drive, a need to dominate Omegas,’ her voice taunts me. ‘I know you want to,’ Alex continues huskily as my body feels ready to explode. ‘I want you to dominate me Olivia.' Pulses of excitement and anticipation radiate thru my core. 'We’ll have a safe word. I trust you to stop if I need you to. But I want you to allow yourself to reach your full potential. Stop concerning yourself with me and set yourself free.’ All I can do is swallow as I attempt to stop the fantasies racing thru my head. ‘Tell me what you want to do to me.' 

I try to find my voice as my heart ricochets in my chest. It takes several moments of increasingly deep breathing before I can speak. ‘I want to be inside you,’ I admit, shocking myself as I wait for Alex’s disgusted response. 

‘And?’ Alex coaxes. My heart flutters with such profound love and aching need that I almost jump out of my chair and run to Alex’s apartment.  

‘I want to thrust myself inside you until you scream my name,’ I admit as I lick my lips, hoping, praying that I haven’t gone too far.  

‘And what will you enter me with?’ _What?!_ My mind bellows, as my clit shudders to breaking point.   

‘A double-ended dildo,’ I suggest nervously, sweat beading on my upper lip, forehead and lower back as my body aches for release.  

‘Do you have one?’ Alex asks brazenly, completely blindsiding me. 

‘No,’ I confess as I finally trace my hand below my waistband. 

‘Get one,’ Alex suggests eagerly as my fingers begin to stroke my wet folds. ‘Continue Olivia,’ Alex cajoles teasingly, requesting more detail. _My God!_ I swallow down a moan, my body trembling with raging desire as I try to find my voice. After several moments, Alex realises I'm struggling so she takes over: 'Shall I tell you what I want you to do to me?' She asks breathlessly as I audibly pant down the wire. 'I want you to take control of me, to straddle me, to own me like an Alpha should her Omega.' My fingers are now scribbling so earnestly against my clit, I'm no longer conscious of the moans and whimpers escaping my lips. 'I am yours Olivia and you are mine. I need you to feel able to mount me when I'm out of line, to make love to me when you want to and to fuck me when you’ve had a bad day. I want to be your home, your Omega, in every sense of the word,' Alex continues as her own voice becomes heavy with arousal. 'Can you do that for me? Can you allow yourself to do what you want to me, when you want to, knowing I'm a willing participant in your dominance of me?' I feel the first waves of orgasm wash over me as I pray Alex keeps talking. 'I want and need you to touch me, to... stroke and... lick me, to pin me and... take what is yours and only yours...' Alex pauses. I note her uneven breathes as her climax takes hold. My own body stiffens, my clit swelling and contracting, as I listen to the love of my life's orgasmic sighs and whimpers.  

 _I imagine Alex laying on her bed, her hand moving under her pyjama pants, stroking herself as she imagines me taking her, taking charge of_ _her._ This thought, amongst many others lying dormant in the recesses of my primal mind, burst forth into my conscious as my body climbs to another soul shattering orgasm. I close my eyes, listening to my Omega's intense cries of pleasure, as I continue to stroke myself into a frenzy with multiple fantasies, each one more powerful than the last. _I want to dominate Alex._ The strength of this urge nearly consumes me as I begin bucking against my own hand. My current fantasy feeds images of _Alex beneath me, her eyes exploding with heat, need and_ _arousal_ _as I take her, thrusting my hips against hers, pounding her into the mattress, knowing she is close, so very close to..._ My body spasms so violently that my abs clench to counterbalance the rivers of earth shattering pleasure radiating from my core.  

My hand finally stills as my body jolts in aftershock. I listen into my cell; hearing Alex's quaking breathes as she finally comes down from her final orgasm. We can’t speak, our breathes communicating our bodies mutual need for oxygen, as our strained hearts and lungs re-energise. 

Minutes pass before my body succumbs to a more sedate rhythm, my heart beat plateauing to a pace I can only describe as pre-Alex.  

'Alex?' I ask, my breath suddenly hitching as I wonder whether I've crossed a line. 

'Olivia, don’t think of anything other than me being a very willing participant and you doing what you were born to do, to dominate your Omega,' Alex reassures me as I suddenly feel a calmness wash over me with Alex's genuine permission for me to take charge, as she had.  

'I wish you were here,' I breathe as I look at my computer, suddenly hoping against hope I don’t have some creepy internet camera stalker who has just witnessed me getting off talking about double-ended dildos and dominating my 'submissive' partner. I slam the screen shut. 

'I love you Olivia,' Alex whispers into my ear. 

'I love you too Alex. But I need...' 

'Please Olivia, don't...' 

'Is this normal? Because I don’t ever want to feel like I'm are getting off on raping you,' I persevere, needing to know exactly where I stand.  

‘You are the most powerful Alpha I have ever met. So powerful that you can control your own urges to respect my boundaries. I'm telling you _I trust you_ more than life itself. I feel safe enough for you to realise your innate dominance over me, without fear of you hurting me,' Alex stresses passionately as my insatiable body reignites. 'I trust you for many reasons, from an emotional perspective. But it's your _behaviour_ towards me that shows your true strength. During our hell outside the precinct, I was in ‘uber heat’, you were on top of me, our bodies naked and you didn’t rape me. No one has ever been able to stop themselves when I'm in heat, let alone when they're touching me, let _alone_ when I'm naked,' Alex argues, her voice rising an octave. 'The other night you controlled yourself when you, and I mean _you_ , allowed me to take the lead. What you did is akin to a heroin addict throwing $50,000's worth down the toilet. You resisted your primal urges. You need to give into them at times or your life will be a constant cycle of excruciatingly unsated desire. Like a carnivore living on tofu.’ As my rutting body keens for my life, my Omega, I realise Alex may be right. _Jesus!_ ‘I also believe we’ll be better equipped to contain our relationship in public if we allow it to _be_ in private,' Alex finishes, as I try to control my heaving chest. 

'I've never experienced anything like the pleasure I do with you. I feel reborn,' I state honestly. 

'But think of how much better it could be? If you allow it,' Alex counters my statement with ease. 

'I'm terrified of going too far,' I repeat myself, sounding like a broken record.    

'And I'm terrified you won't allow us to be what we are innately meant to be. I'm not saying I'm going to be submissive in all areas...' Alex cautions quickly. 'But we'll have a safe word...'  

'Your experiences have nothing to do with this?' I interrupt her, asking the heinous question whilst holding my breath, waiting for Alex to respond. I hear a sharp intake of breath, knowing my insensitivity has undoubtedly hit a nerve. I bite my tongue to stop myself filling the heavy silence. _Fuck!_  

Then I hear her beautiful dulcet tones, 'I would be lying if I said I have a healthy relationship with sex. But with you, I work on instinct alone. My hormones, my heart, my body and soul have lowered my boundaries to allow me to make love for the first time; for you to get close enough, emotionally and physically, to love me and me you.' _Yes, instinct._ _M_ _y body certainly comprehends_ _my animal tendencies even when my mind does_ _not_. 'Do you think I enjoy being raped?' My heart plummets, completely understanding her rebuttal. 

'No,' I reply immediately, my voice strangled by the lump in my throat. 'I'm sorry Alex,' I apologise, loathing being the cause of Alex's distress. 

‘What I'm suggesting you do goes against the human side of your psyche. But I'm not nor will I ever ask you to rape me. I'm asking you to loosen your boundaries further to allow our true potential as mates, as life partners to be realised.'  

'I really wish we'd had this conversation in person,' I admit, wishing I could see her intoxicating cloudy blue eyes, touch her beautiful flaxen hair to reassure myself that she is real and is my Omega, for life.  

'I know, I'm sorry,' Alex apologises, for what I am unsure. 'I think I needed to explain exactly where I feel our hormones are taking us before we see the psychiatrist.' I suddenly realise I'm going to be just as analysed as Alex. 'If he knows anything about this, he may say somethings about Alphas that disturb you, us,' Alex finally confesses the reason behind all of this. 

'So, again you're protecting me,' I say, feeling strangely emasculated and uncomfortably aware that I'm pissed at my life partner. 'I happen to deal with psycho Alphas every day,' I growl in frustration. _Breathe, Alpha, breathe_ _._  

'Yes, you do,’ Alex agrees immediately. ‘But dealing with yourself as an Alpha is an entirely different ball game,' she inhales sharply before changing tack. 'I’m terrified this psychiatrist is going to think I’m insane or won't believe me. I may find it impossible to utter a word to him,’ Alex shuts the argument down expertly. _I can only imagine how_ _difficult_ _it has been, is,_ _for my Alex_ _to_ _cope_ _with being an Omega._  

My residual ire immediately diverts, ‘If that happens, I'll add his face to the hit list!’ I listen as Alex’s breathing hitches excitedly in response. 

‘God you better not do that,’ she warns, huskily. 

‘And why not?’ I can’t help the conflicting smile and disappointment I feel as Alex abruptly ends the call. 


	21. Psyche

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Olivia meet Dr George Huang.
> 
> Rating: Mature Content.

Psychiatrists Waiting Room 

I arrive purposefully early imagining Alex trapped in a room with Alphas. My body gives me advanced warning of her arrival, allowing me time to lower my head so as not to draw attention to the fact that she is my life, my reason to live.  

I use a newly discovered 4 to 8 technique to control my breathing, but nothing can dampen the fire scorching thru my core as Alexandra Cabot enters the waiting room. I shift in my seat in an attempt to distract myself from her intoxicating presence as she sits down next to me. Her scent, her aura, her spirit consume my every thought and action. I swallow thickly as I pray she doesn’t brush against me. When I glance fleetingly in her direction, I notice her hands are holding her chair so tightly, her knuckles are straining against the white of her stretched skin. I gaze down at my own hands and find a similarly, desperate grip as I try to stop myself reaching for this achingly beautiful woman. 

I decide to concentrate on the rooms other occupants, a man and a woman sat several chairs apart. The man’s head is lowered, his eyes hidden behind a curtain of hair. The woman is staring at Alex, her eyes displaying a knowing hunger I can only describe as predatory. She’s licking her lips as she tries to openly intimidate my Omega. _Fuck this!_ I move to stand but Alex grabs my jacket sleeve and yanks me back down. ‘You can’t beat up everyone who stares at me like that,’ Alex whispers near my ear, her breath tickling my skin. I lean to the side to prevent my arousal surging to embarrassing proportions. _Breathe!_  

I stare at the woman across from us. She completely ignores my presence, her eyes fixated on Alex. _My Omega_ _!_ My mind seethes. I eventually lean in front of my life partner, making it impossible for the other woman to avoid my raging gaze. As soon as she meets my eyes, she lowers hers and bites her lip. _Yes, back_ _the hell_ _off!_ I can’t control the torrent of elation that rushes thru me as I realise I have just won my first non-verbal challenge to my position as Alex’s Alpha, and without violence.  

I feel Alex watching me. I can’t help meeting her gaze, her iridescent orbs conveying such sadness, such gratitude, such heat that I almost wrench the chair arm off with the longing, the anger, the sorrow battering my heart. _My love._  

‘Mr Cragen.’ Our heads snap towards the voice in unison, our hearts racing as we belatedly notice a man observing us. We rise from our seats and step towards him. He nods before he leads us to his room. I realise my body is calculating his risk whilst my mind is wondering why he didn’t bat an eye when two women stood after he called an unmistakeably male name. His room contains three chairs with a low table between them. I step aside to allow Alex to choose her preferred seat which unsurprisingly is closest to the door, the exit. I sit next to her as the psychiatrist sits in the third.  

‘I'm Dr George Huang,’ he introduces himself before he mentions confidentiality and its limits, his role in and outside this room, professional boundaries and where he’ll store any notes he may take. Then he looks at us with an unreadable expression, a bellowing silence filling the room. _Oh god, don’t do a Good Will Hunting on us,_ I sigh as I wait for him to prompt us. When he doesn’t, I turn to Alex who looks noticeably calmer. She gazes at me, her cloudy blue eyes clear, her breathing even. _He must be safe._ I feel Dr Huang watching us with great interest. I start to perspire, feeling vulnerable under his microscopic gaze.  

‘You know what’s going on don’t you?’ Alex finally breaks the heavy silence. I turn to him, trying to discern his thoughts. 

‘I knew Don Cragen wouldn’t be attending today. Whatever else you speak of, is unknown to me apart from my last few minutes observations, here and in the waiting room,’ Dr Huang replies cryptically. 

I blanche at the thought that this man caught sight of my rutting behaviour. ‘In the waiting room?’ I reflect nervously. 

'Why don't you introduce yourselves and tell me a little about why you are here?' He blatantly ignores my question, keeping his tone even.  

I glance at Alex, she nods slightly before taking a steadying breath, her body leaning forward. 'I'm Alexandra Cabot and this is Olivia Benson, Detective for the NYPD. We're here to understand my... condition, to find ways of surviving an upcoming trial and to find others like me,' Alex pauses as Huang looks at me.  

‘I need to see your badge,’ he requests without further preamble. _What?_  

‘Why?’ I ask the obvious question. 

‘I’ll explain in a moment. Please show me your badge,’ Huang repeats as he waits. I glance towards Alex for guidance. _This is her session._ She nods. I retrieve my badge from my jacket pocket. Huang stares at it for a good minute before he sits back, an audible sigh of relief escaping his lips. I stare at him, waiting. ‘I know you're an Alpha,’ he says, looking at me with a slight wariness lingering in his eyes. ‘I needed to ensure Miss Cabot wasn’t here under duress,’ he admits as he turns to Alex, his eyes softening. 

Alex stares back, confused. ‘How does Olivia showing you her badge prove she’s a ‘good’ alpha?’  

‘The very fact that she gave it to me,’ Dr Huang replies calmly.  

‘Are you a...’ Alex begins, hope radiating from every pore. 

‘No, I’m not an Omega. I’ve never met one before, until today. You’re a rare breed Miss Cabot,’ he continues as we stare at this astonishingly intuitive human being. Our hopes are similarly raised and scuppered in two sentences. 

‘So you’re an Alpha?’ I ask, assuming he must be. 

‘No. That’s why I needed to test your reaction to my authoritative request as well as my complete disregard for your earlier question. To see if you'd bite,’ Huang explains.  

‘So how? What..?’ I stutter as Alex and I try to comprehend this man’s knowing stance. 

‘I observed your entire interaction with the woman across the waiting room. Your...’ he gestures to Alex, ‘...downward eyes and guarded body language. Your...’ Huang looks at me, ‘... direct eyes and open chested stance. Well, until Miss Cabot pulled you back,’ he smiles slightly, causing me to blush in clear embarrassment, made worse by my life giving me a side wards smirk. My heart, lungs and clit contract as her cloudy blues shine. ‘I was watching an Alpha stake claim of her Omega against a rival Alpha-Beta.’ 

‘She wasn’t an Alpha?’ I ask, my ego deflating still further. 

‘An Alpha-Beta is an Alpha wannabe. Second in line. That’s why she lowered her eyes as soon as you forced eye contact,’ he explains. 

Alex leans further forward. ‘How can you read this? Us?’  

‘The same way you can Miss Cabot,’ Huang answers as his body language mirrors her. I'm keenly aware of how intrigued he is by us. ‘Some, particularly those lower down the hierarchy, have a conscious awareness, a knowing of who is above them. Call it self preservation. Alphas don’t necessarily possess such consciousness. They don’t have a need to. They rely on their bodies reactions alone, which are certainly their own definitive indicators.’ I find myself unconsciously nodding in agreement. I stop as soon as I realise it. 'But I couldn’t be sure whether Detective Benson was causing your downward eyes and guarded body language until you forcibly sat her back down. I still had to gauge it for myself as I was only expecting one client.’ _But I’m a cop_ rebounds in my head but I don’t verbalize it, not after what happened to Alex's grandmother.  

‘So, you trust that I wish Olivia to be here and I’m in no way being forced or coerced into attending?’ Alex asks, to clarify Dr Huang’s position. 

‘Yes,’ he replies without hesitation. 

‘Okay,’ Alex exhales with relief. ‘I thank you for your concern and I understand you're professionally bound to constantly monitor risk. But if one more person treats me with kid gloves, I’ll scream!’ Alex states passionately, her piercing orbs gazing directly into mine. I have the grace to lower my eyes, to submit to her point. 

‘Understood,’ Dr Huang affirms. ‘How have you survived until now?’ He asks, as he purposefully leans back in an attempt to not hang on Alex's every word _._ _I wonder what it_ _must_ _be like for a psychiatrist, having a ‘safe’ Alpha and a spirited Omega in the same room, let alone_ _recognising the mutually consenting connection between them_ _, us._ _Like_ _mind science utopia!_  

Alex licks her lips. ‘By telling myself I’m living my life, my way, when in reality I’m existing until the next assault, the next assault that may end my life. Denial is an incredible saviour, until the next person or people decide it’s their right to abuse me,’ she pauses to sip some water, helpfully placed on the low table between us. ‘Every month, for seven days, I have to hide myself away because my heat, my scent will attract every Alpha, and l’m assuming every Alpha-Beta, within a sixty foot radius. I become prey. For the three weeks I’m not ‘in heat’, I can lead a relatively normal life as long as nobody touches me. For some particularly virulent specimens, my voice alone can cause a pull, at anytime of the month. So, I have to constantly evaluate each person I come into contact with before I even speak. Sometimes that means I have seconds before its considered rude that I’m not responding to them. Occasionally, I don't have time to gauge a person before they’re on me. I _hated_ my life, but now I have something to live for,’ she finishes as she takes my hand and nuzzles it against her cheek. 

Dr Huang stares intently between us, his eyes in awe of Alex and, strangely, of me. ‘I could tell you were together but I’ve never known of an Alpha having such self-control or an Omega trusting an Alpha to keep that self-control,’ he whispers as he watches our interactions. 

‘You also told us you have never met an Omega before so how would you know for sure,’ Alex counters as she lets go of my hand. I groan slightly at the loss of contact.  

‘Indeed. How did you meet?’ I gaze at Alex for permission before I inform him of all the events up until this point. I leave Elliot out entirely. _That’s for my life to share if she ever wishes to_ _. An_ _d on some level, I feel a loyalty to his memory as my partner._ Huang stays silent throughout, his hands steeped, his face paling with each new detail of Alex's torturous few weeks. _And mine._   

My cell suddenly rings, bursting the bubble this room has created. The outside world is beckoning. I apologise for the intrusion but I'm also aware the Cap wouldn’t be calling during our session unless something important required it. I turn to Alex, silently asking for her thoughts on being left alone with Huang. Her eyes acquiesce immediately so I excuse myself from the room.   

'Benson,' I answer belatedly, nervous and thankful that Cragen hasn't dropped the call. 

'Type 'Gang rape outside NYPD’ into YouTube!’  

 _..._  


	22. Terrible Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The YouTube video reveals more than Olivia ever intended of her experience during 'Hell.' 
> 
> The squad (pack) brings further bad news.
> 
> Rating: Mature Content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AJ - Sorry for not revealing this before, my message to you regarding the Hell Chapter was misleading but this angle strengthens the fic going forward. 
> 
> Chely99 - Are you impressed that I uploaded this way before the seven days, even with a hectic schedule??

I finally return to the session room, believing I have calmed enough to hide the raging turmoil in my gut. But Alex’s eyes search my face as soon as I enter, her body immediately next to mine, her hands cradling my jaw, her features lined with worry. _I feel sick that I’m causing this concern but I can’t…_  

I notice Huang dart towards me as a darkness threatens to engulf me. I waver on my feet as I feel his fingers at my wrist. My vision narrows as I… 

Suddenly I feel lips, scorching molten lips, awakening my senses with such abrupt intensity that I catch myself before I fall, my lips thirsting for my life, only my life. _Oh God!_ I pull her towards me, her mouth giving me light. _Without it, I will freefall into darkness, suffocate in a veil of bodies, bodies intent on malice, on…._ I halt my thoughts, as I focus on the feelings my Omega is igniting in my blood, my veins, my heart. I run my fingers thru her beautiful flaxen hair as my tongue takes ownership of her mouth. My starving senses, my parched soul dine on her taste; her body, her being the only sustenance, nourishment I need, I’ll ever need. Tears run down my face unchecked as I trace my fingers under Alex’s shirt collar and lace them at her nape, my need for her so strong, so potent, I fear I’ll die without her touch.  

I finally relinquish my life's mouth but only out of necessity, my lungs screaming for breath. I lean my forehead against hers as I inhale breathes so deep I pray my chest can withstand the sudden influx of oxygen. I watch her iridescent eyes, silently burning with concern and heat as she waits for my breathing to reach an equilibrium.  

I go to kiss her again. ‘No.’ _T_ _his_ _is the first time Alex has ever said_ _‘_ _No_ _’ to me_ _._ I swallow as my mind tries to override my bodies deafening urges. _Don't!_ I scream to myself  ‘No, Olivia. Not here!’ she whispers, pleading for me to stop, knowing she has no real control over the blinding arousal ricocheting thru my body at this moment. My lips move ever closer to hers, my bodies need for her so incredibly strong. _STOP OLIVIA!_ It takes every fibre of my being to force my head back to stop myself taking her. _We aren’t alone. Alex is right. We can’t here,_ I reason as I gasp for oxygen to calm my panting chest.  

Alex removes my hands from her nape and pulls away to truly look at me. I notice her wavering breathes as a flush travels up to her hairline. ‘What’s happening, my Alpha?’ she whispers with such tenderness, I shiver in answer. ‘Please tell me,’ Alex begs as I watch her check herself as her instincts rush to comfort me. 

I take several steadying breathes. ‘Cragen,’ I blurt out too loudly in the silent room. ‘Hell...’ This one word is enough for Alex’s breath taking face to pale in dread. ‘Well, um… it’s on… it’s on Youtube,’ I stutter as I step towards my life. Alex's intoxicating eyes stare into mine for several frozen moments before she collapses into a chair, her head in her hands, her shoulders shaking with the horror, the humiliation, the heinous reality that some voyueristically sick pervert decided to film us, and six male officers, in severe, life threatening danger. 

I crouch in front of my Omega, wanting so much to fold her in my arms but knowing my body is on the edge of a terrifying abyss. _I can’t touch her._   

‘Jesus!’ Alex whispers forcefully, shock evident in the tremors wracking her body. My heart breaks watching the love of my life trying to compose herself, as she closes her eyes and breathes as deeply as her lungs will allow her. 

‘Alex,’ Huang’s voice appears, as though from a distance. ‘Can you pick out something you can hear?’ I watch as Alex frowns at the request but her brow unfurrows as she gives it some thought. ‘You don’t have to say what it is, just listen to it, focus on it.’ We both watch as she nods her head slightly, her ears and mind focusing on her chosen sound.  

Several minutes later, Huang speaks again, ‘Now think of your favourite taste. Explore it’s textures, it’s consistency, it’s effect on your taste buds.’ _Hot chocolate._  

It takes 20 minutes for Huang to pull us completely back from the edge. I open my eyes to find Alex gazing at me with sheer adoration. My heart contracts. I can't stop myself running a thumb along her cheek bone.  

I turn to Huang, mouthing ‘Thank you,’ silently, offering my hand in gratitude. Huang doesn’t take it. He nods Instead, his eyes earnestly intrigued. I look to Alex for permission before I inform him of the YouTube video. 

We observe his mind working overtime as a knock abruptly sounds a visitor. Huang looks at us, his expression conveying he isn’t expecting one. I draw my weapon instinctively, my every muscle on high alert.  

‘Identify yourselves,’ I command dominantly, my piece aimed at the door.  

‘Liv, it’s Don,’ my breathing hitches in a small cry of relief. ‘Fin and Casey are with me. Can we come in?’ I move towards the door but only lower my weapon once I see the familiar kind brown eyes. I holster it before I stare at my Captain, at a loss as to what to say. 

I look to Fin, our hero, the one person who was brave enough to take on the mob to rescue us. His eyes are soft, understanding, sickening in their acknowledgement that I am a victim. I shake the thought from my mind as I turn to Alex, her cloudy blues meeting mine, a renewed spirit evident in their depths. My heart beat surges in admiration of this unbreakable woman. 

‘I need to see it,’ Alex confesses as her eyes continue to pin mine. Without another word, I pick my neglected phone up off the floor and kneel down beside her. I press replay, trying to ignore the viewing figures as I enlarge the screen. _58_ _,625,801 views!_ _Fuck!_  

I observe Alex’s face as she watches us being violated by the pack. Her lips part, her skin turns deathly white, her pupils dilate in utter desolation. I watch as Alex’s protective mask slowly covers her face. She looks at each of us in turn. ‘Have you all seen this?’ She asks, her faltering voice betraying her.  

Cragen, Fin and Novak nod. I’m surprised when Alex passes my cell to Huang. He looks at both of us, intuitively needing further permission before he watches the footage. We nod. He presses the play button as the rest of us huddle. 

‘There is no way we can contain this. I’m so sorry,’ Cragen apologises for a sick fucks mistake.  

‘Don't,’ I say, my own voice wavering. ‘How were you ever expected to? There were too many people. Too many things happening,’ I state factually as I gaze at my life who nods in agreement, her eyes strained with guilt. _She knows, she_ _has a_ _lways_ _known._  

‘We are trying to trace the uploader. We’ll get him Liv!’ Fin stresses as he turns to Alex. ‘We'll get him Miss Cabot.’ 

‘Call me Alex for fucks sake! You deserve to more than most,’ Alex states impatiently, forgetting herself for a moment. I notice Cragen’s, Novak’s and Fin’s breathing hitch at her tone. Alex notices it too. She stands to make herself seem less vulnerable. I move to her side, knowing I can never entirely trust these dear people with my Omega.  

‘The defence will access this. I’ll fight for it to be made admissible but I’m not going to lie to you, this will sway the judge, the jury,' Novak warns. 

‘This could be used to your advantage,’ Huang suggests as we turn to him. He looks to Alex and I, adopting our communication style, for permission. We nod our acquiesce. ‘This is not normal behaviour. Even the most lusted after celebrities aren’t treated this way. This voyeur could actually help your case...’ 

‘Whilst showing the world Alex and I being assaulted to within an inch of our lives!’ I sting back, the images too fresh in my mind to entertain any positives.  

 _I know in my heart of hearts we were_ _both_ _raped that day. The legal definition of rape confirms it. But comprehending that every person in this room and over 58 million_ _others_ _know this_ _,_ _is breaking me_.  

‘He’s right my Alp... Olivia,’ Alex corrects herself. ‘We can't control this,’ she whispers, her eyes haunted as she gazes at me. ‘All we can do is use it to our advantage.’ A lone tear trails down her cheekbone to her jaw. _Even in despair, my_ _life_ _is exquisite_ _._ _Her spirit shining in the darkness._  

‘I need to get out of here,’ I snarl thru gritted teeth, feeling my fragile grip on control shattering with each second I remain in this claustrophobic room.  

‘There's something else,’ Novak almost whispers, biting her lip. I know she is about to make this even worse. ‘Judge Donnelly wants us in court Wednesday.’ 

I look at Alex, her shoulders bowing under the weight of this further assault to our senses. 

‘Well ram _this_ down her fucking throat and then tell us the case is a go for _fucking_ Wednesday!’ I scream before I take Alex’s hand and lead us away from the toxicity of this new hell. 


	23. Snap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia takes Alex... to her apartment.
> 
> Natural behaviour in the wolf world.
> 
> Rating: Explicit Content.  
> 

Walking on the street breeds new fears, new awareness, new meaning as I finally comprehend a tiny fraction of what my Omega experiences every single day. I’m evaluating every person’s expression and body language as they pass us. _Were they part of the mob that raped us_ _?_ _Part of the mob that_ _almost tore us apart? Have they watched the upload?_ _Are they part of_ _; have they_ _done, both_ _?_ Fear and nausea snake up my oesophagus as my hackles rise in readiness to fight for Alex, for my life. I almost want a fight, _need_ a fight to rid my veins of the excess adrenaline pumping thru my heart. 

I feel sweat beading on my brow as Alex gives me a tiny shove. I realise I’ve stopped in a door way, Alex’s body protectively sheltered behind mine, blocking the route for anyone wishing to pass thru. I unfreeze my limbs and proceed across the street, my eyes scanning the scene as I lead Alex to the squad car.  

I unlock and relock the vehicle, untold relief radiating thru my body, knowing my life partner is secure. I know she is looking at me. I can’t bear to meet her gaze, can’t bear to rest my eyes on the most beautiful sight I have ever seen whilst my insides are slowly being eroded; the rage, the hurt, the shame, the heat burning thru me is so intense, I feel physical pain. 

‘My Alpha,’ my Omega says, her voice a magnet for my senses. I continue gazing ahead as tears begin to fall anew down my cheeks. ‘My life,’ Alex whispers. ‘Give me the keys. I’ll drive.’ I look down at her elegant hands, laid on her lap, waiting. _I_ _am_ _her life! A_ _nd_ _she is mine._  

I shake my head, as much to rid my mind of the overpowering emotions threatening to engulf me as in answer. I shut my eyes. _Calm the hell down Olivia! Breathe._ _Think of something you can hear… my life’s breathing. Focus on_ _that!_  

‘Liv!’ I open my eyes to find Fin walking hurriedly towards our vehicle. _Fuck this._ I turn the key and step on the gas to escape our protective detail, our harrowing memories; away from everything but us. 

 

15 minutes later 

I park up outside my apartment block before I finally allow myself to glance at the love of my life. I swallow, drinking in her scent, her aura, her beauty; the strength behind her steely blue eyes. _No words_ _._ We leave the safety of the unmarked squad car and reach the outer security door quickly, before we climb the stairs two at a time. Alex follows my lead, having never been to my apartment before. My breathing doesn’t abate, my panting relentless. Instead of fear; heat, desire and carnal need now pulse thru my senses. 

As we reach my floor, my clit trembles when I notice the package waiting patiently for my attention _._ _Thank you_ _._ I know I’d taken a risk not being home to sign for it. _One thing_ _is_ _going right!_ I begin to salivate, my skin beads with sweat, my body becomes victim to wave after wave of surging arousal as my head spins. _This is it!_  

I pick up the package and open the door, suddenly self-conscious that my apartment is so much smaller than… _Fuck it!_  

As I close the door behind us, I take a moment to let it sink in that my Omega is in my apartment, _my_ domain. Anticipation courses thru my blood, my heart ricochets in my chest and my lungs bruise my rib cage. _This is my territory._  

I watch her circle the kitchen/sitting area, touching and exploring certain inane objects before her iridescent eyes meet mine, a roaring challenge in their depths. 

Alex intuitively takes the package from my hand. She tears it open, a gasp escaping her lips as she removes the double-ended dildo strap on from its box. I’m surprised to see tears forming in her eyes but before I can ask, she presses a finger to her lips to silence my concern.  

My life approaches me and begins fingering my zipper. _Fuck_ _!_ My mind screams as I grab the member from her open palm and race into my bedroom. 

Moments later, I reappear, standing only in my panties. Alex’s eyes rake over my body, paying particular attention to the bulge in my crotch. She licks her lips. My heart beats an incessant rhythm, deafening me as I try to catch my breath. Waves of promise crash thru my abdomen as I allow myself to truly stare at my Omega as my genes intended; as sexual prey. She shivers under my gaze, stoking my desire still further. 

Alex undoes her shirt buttons to the waist, then she fans it out. She tears it from her body as my senses dine on her perfection. The lithe sinews of her arms, the soft muscles of her stomach, the elegant juts of her hip bones, ribs and collar bones. Her beautifully proportioned breasts, currently supported by a black push up. I watch as the muscles in Alex’s abdomen tense with every shallow breath she inhales. I grab the door frame with a vice like grip to stop myself pinning her down and ravaging her right here on my sitting room floor. My clit quakes, urging me forward. _Wait_ _! Don’t_ _hurt her,_ my mind begs, my body coiled so tightly my muscles are screaming for dominance, for release. 

I notice frustration build in Alex’s orbs. She slowly approaches me, her radiant eyes raging with undeniable heat and impatience as her hand reaches down to fondle me. I gasp as the vibrations centre directly onto my engorged clit. My body begins to tremble as my lungs scream for oxygen, my rebellious chest aching with each pant undulating thru my rib cage. I fear I will snap, will completely lose control, at any moment. I've never felt more aroused or terrified. 

Suddenly Alex's hand stills, the expression in her eyes loud and clear. ‘What do you want to do to me?’ She goads, her magnificently deep voice stimulating my clit singlehandedly.  

‘I want, _need_ , to be inside you,’ I admit breathlessly, using my anger, my arousal to strengthen my courage.  

‘How much do you need to be inside me?’ Alex teases, causing my abdomen to twitch in answer. 

‘I’d kill for it, for you,’ I confess between shallow breathes as my body bows towards hers, my entire form shaking with the hunger keening thru me to ravage her. I feel ready to self-combust, the fire raging in my core threatening to scorch my body to cinders. 

‘Well you can't have me,’ Alex counters scathingly, her eyes challenging mine to prove her wrong. _I know exactly what she's_ _doing_. 'I’m leaving,’ she states as she leans over to pick up her shirt.   

Something inside me breaks. I feel such desperate, explosive, blinding need that I race towards her using my stronger upper body to subdue her. I’m suddenly lying on top of her, my body crushing her chest into the floor. My rampant desire consumes me; my only concern, being inside her. I use my free hand to prize open the front of her jeans. As soon as the buttons are undone, I raise my body, to lower her pants over her thighs. I take a shuddering breath as all consuming arousal migrates to my crotch. 

I completely remove them, and her panties, before working my way back up her body. I shock myself when I bite her right buttock, her taste exquisite. I feel her move slightly under my lips causing me to relinquish her flesh. My carnal dominance registers a slight mark, _my_ mark on her body. My clit throbs anew at this as I lay myself over her once more, my obedient Omega having stayed near exactly where she was.  

A blinding recognition of complete control over Alex surges thru me, almost making me come before I even enter her. A conflicting, total loss of control pummels my sex as I realise I can't stop, I won’t stop. My ragged breaths ruffle her flaxen hair as I gasp for air.

 _I can’t wait any longer. I have waited so long, so desperately, so patiently, to take her and now, she is mine,_ _utterly_ _mine._  

I lower my hand to her sex, my desire amplified by the wetness I find there. I lick her scent from my fingers before I lower my panties and thrust my member into her. I feel Alex jolt beneath me as my carnal urges spiral out of control. I thrust myself completely into her depths. The pleasure coursing thru my abdomen demands my undivided attention, as I begin to ride my Omega. My member titillates my clit with each fevered thrust as I drive myself into her, my need for release so excruciatingly painful, I would kill for it. 

Our bodies move as one as my buttocks relentlessly pump my member into Alex's sex. Sweat drips from my body as every fibre of my being concentrates on the slithers of quaking pleasure flicking my embers with the promise of scotching climax. My clit demands one last stroke, which I eagerly satisfy with a final thrust so deep I feel my life shudder beneath me. As my orgasm erupts, each of my senses heightens the soul shattering ecstasy coursing thru my veins. I shudder with the sheer power of the climax as my innate need to dominate, to control, has been realised. I tremble as each wave of earth shattering orgasm scorches my insides endlessly. I close my eyes, glorifying in the strength, the sheer magnificence of the release erupting in the deepest recesses of my soul.  

Eventually, the shockwaves lessen as the last quivers of pleasure tease my aching clit. I take several deep breathes in an attempt to refocus my blurred vision as my body instantly reignites with animal need, my skin in near complete contact with the most potently intoxicating aphrodisiac on this planet.  

It takes everything for me to withdraw myself from Alex before I flip her over onto her back. The sight that greets me stokes my already raging furnace as I re-enter her, delighting in the scotching heat evident in her iridescent eyes. My mouth claims hers as I immediately begin thrusting into her once more, each drive of my member causing my clit to twitch with the promise of unimaginable pleasure, but only if I keep going, keep riding my Omega to within an inch of our lives.  

I can’t stop, I realise belatedly as Alex encircles her arms around my neck as she starts quivering with the first echo’s of orgasm. I race to catch up, rutting into my Omega as though my life depends on it. My breath catches as I feel my abdomen stiffen and spasm, a climax so devastating rioting thru me, I fear I may die as my body shudders violently in its efforts to contain it. I tear my mouth away, Alex's taste too potent for my overstimulated senses, as my body trembles thru the orgasm of my life. I continue to thrust softly into my Omega’s core, as my member strokes the last whispers of climax from my swollen sex.  

As soon as my clit silences, my blood surges anew with bone shattering arousal, my body insatiable. My buttocks immediately comply with my bodies demands, my mind completely blank save an urgency for control and release.  

Our bodies are now slick with sweat, our breathing ragged, our pupils fully dilated as I drive into my Omega with animal intent. I'm realising I have no control over my bodies craving, obsessional need for Alexandra Cabot; a constant, relentless need for release that only she can sate. Even more disturbing, this need overrides everything else. At this moment, I don’t care about anything beyond my next release. 

 _Alex_ , my human mind bursts thru for the first time. _Alex_. I glance down at her breathtakingly beautiful face. My Omegas expression causes my body to jerk involuntarily as an explosive orgasm surges from my core blinding me to all but these sensations. ‘Fuck!’ I moan as I see nothing but stars as I endeavour to make this searing climax last for an eternity. My body stiffens, trembles and spasms as I close off every other sense to magnify the euphoria skating along my every nerve ending. I bite my lip and stretch out my neck as I ride the last embers of the scorching eruption rumbling thru my body.  

My clit undulates with rippling heat as my body reawakens once more. I groan, my soul crying out for further release as my body nears the fringes of dehydrated exhaustion. Our bodies are now so well lubricated with sweat, I slide across my Omegas form with each clench of my buttocks.  

I hear a sound beneath me. It bursts thru my carnal haze as my head jerks down to Alex's face. I read her features. _My life_ _can’t take much more._ My animal hunger urges me to continue, to fuck the consequences. My human mind screams for me to stop. _I’m hurting my_ _life_ _._  

 _Stop!_ My mind pleads, fighting my dangerously out of control urges as I watch my Omegas eyes penetrate mine. Her beautiful eyes convey a trust I don't deserve as she silently begs me to stop. ‘Stop Olivia!’ I bellow out loud, hoping this externalisation will empower my human consciousness.  

I notice every wince now forming on my life's features with each thrust of my member, like a dagger to my heart. _I'm_ _causing_ _her_ _t_ _his_ _pain. Stop now! But_ _I’m so close, so very close_. _Stop right now you sick_ _fuc_ _k!_ I fight with myself as I use every strained muscle in my body to still my member. My body cries out at this unnatural action as my mind fights to maintain it. Before I lose the fight, I withdraw myself. I hear Alex gasp. I know I withdrew too quickly. I know I hurt her. But I also know if I’d allowed my member to stay for one more second, I truly wouldn’t have been able to stop.  

I gaze into my Omegas shining cloudy blues, my heart breaking as I try to comprehend what I have done to her. As I lower my eyes in shame, Alex cradles my face, forcing me to meet her swimming orbs. 'You are the most incredible human I've ever met,' she confesses, looking at me in awe.

‘Jesus Alex!’ I suddenly hear cries and search my Omega’s face. I soon realise the sobs are wracking my own body as Alex sits up and reaches for her shirt. She then lowers my body into her clothed lap. 

‘My love, what am I doing to you?’ Alex whispers, her voice choked as she strokes my hair. More sobs engulf my chest. 'Olivia, I need you to listen to me,' Alex requests seriously. I lift my head from her lap to truly meet her gaze. ‘What just happened, what you were able to do, goes against the natural order of this hierarchy,’ she gestures between us before pausing to wipe tears from her beautiful face. ‘You stopped. Your wanted more but you saw my discomfort. You were able to pull yourself back.’ 

‘Eventually,’ I interrupt. 

‘Stop talking and listen,’ Alex loses her patience, her cloudy blue orbs rippling with anger. ‘I know you lost control. I wanted you to. I would never goad an Alpha unless they are you,' she whispers as sobs strain her lungs. 'Though I realise now I need to heal a little while longer,’ Alex's voice breaks, her eyes filling with guilt. 

‘I hurt you...’  

Alex pins me with an exasperated look, her brow arched. I immediately shut up. ‘You are the _only_ person I trust _not_ to hurt me. _Please_ get that into your stubborn skull!' my life argues passionately, her eyes burning as she cradles my face. 

‘Only if you stop apologising for my decision to be with you? I choose to be with you, after hell, over Elliot, over everything and everyone. You are my life!’ 

I feel her fingers trail down between my breasts to beneath my member, as they slowly begin stroking my grateful clit. She plants the most exquisite kiss on my lips as my body trembles. ‘Okay,’ Alex breathes against my lips as my own fingers journey to her sex. ‘You can never hurt me the way others do and you know why? Because every whisper of your voice, every touch... of your skin impacts me like a hit of heroin. If you ever disbelieve this, look into my eyes. And if you ever apologise unduly again, I’ll leave you to finish yourself off,’ she whispers into my ear. I audibly groan, as my hand grips her wrist, preventing her from delivering on her promise as her fingers coax my twitching sex to spine tingling release.  


	24. Reciprocation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia finally realises how it feels to belong.  
> Alex learns an Alpha can make love to her. 
> 
> Rating: Explicit Content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Mez64 x

'Enough,’ I utter breathlessly as my body trembles thru the final whispers of release.

Alex looks at me, her eyebrow arched. ‘You sated?’ she asks, equally breathless, as she runs a hand thru her tousled hair.

I shake my head at her question. ‘I think my bodies taken enough from you,’ I answer as I begin surveying her body. ‘I did this…’ I gasp as I point at the fresh blemishes on the insides of her thighs, the noticeable rawness of her sex. ‘I can never be like _that_ again.’

Alex grasps my pointed finger. ‘You won’t be. The first time was never going to be easy,’ my life assures me as she cradles my jaw. ‘ _P_ _lease_ ,’ she begs as her lips brush against mine.

I surrender my lips, marvelling in the taste of my life partner as I reach down to remove my member. I gasp as I slowly withdraw the second edge, abruptly aware of the soreness between my legs. I ignore it as I lean my head back to gaze into Alex’s eyes. Her cloudy blues stare into mine, their depths conveying a need I hunger to satisfy.

I lift her into my aching arms and carry her to my bedroom. I draw the covers back with difficulty, then I lay Alex down gently and pull the sheets around her body. I then slide under the covers before I cuddle her to me, her head laying against my bare chest. I run my fingers thru her flaxen locks as she nuzzles herself still closer to my heart, her breathes lightly tickling my skin.

I suddenly realise this action isn’t stirring my crotch as it normally would. I think back to our last kiss. _My life had tasted the same: of hot chocolate, but my urges hadn’t been instantly aroused_. The importance of the last two hours abruptly comes into focus. _My scent is everywhere_. I begin to sniff the top of Alex's head. My life raises her eyes to look at me. I know she feels it, smells it too.

I gaze into her iridescent eyes, her silent request, my absolute desire. I take her mouth in mine, my tongue lightly flicking her lips as I feel her quiver against me. I clutch her cheekbone and jaw as I deepen the kiss, her lips parting, giving me permission to explore her mouth. I take my time, glorifying in the magnificence of her taste as I continue running my fingers thru her hair.

Alex ends the kiss to inhale a wavering breath. ‘Okay?’ I ask as I request her acquiescence. My life slowly nods, a multitude of emotions swimming in her eyes as she raises her head to meet my lips once more.

I gladly take them as I use my tongue to tease hers in a tantalising game of cat and mouse. I feel Alex moan against my lips as I lean over her, my body craving to give her everything. She clutches my cheek, her other hand grasping my shoulder, pulling me closer as I stop myself lying on top of her. We lie side by side, our mouths duelling as my hands start caressing her body. Alex’s is openly panting as her beautiful eyes gaze into mine, her expression one of pure trust and love. I lower my lips to the crook in her neck, softly kissing her pulse points as she rakes her fingers thru my hair. I slowly work my way from one collar bone to the other, delighting in the tremors evident in Alex’s strained breathes as I ever so slowly make love to my life partner.

As I tease a nipple between my teeth, I feel Alex shiver. My fingers attend to her other breast as Alex pushes my head closer to her flesh, her need so exquisitely clear. I continue to coax her, slowly circling her with my tongue as I control my arousal with surprising ease. My energy is solely focused on my life's pleasure.

I relinquish her left nipple as my mouth journeys lower, burning a trail down to her belly button as my hands grip her hips softly, pulling her closer.

I can feel each twitch of her abdomen as my tongue circles her before delving into her belly button. Alex’s hips are straining against my hands, her need to buck, to hurry along my love making bringing the first genuine smile to my lips in too long. I trail my tongue down her navel as I raise my eyes to gaze into her burning orbs, requesting permission, before I stroke her sore flesh.

Alex gazes at me; her expression so open, so loving, so trusting, that I realise I have finally stepped over the threshold and into the deepest recesses of her soul. _I am hers and she is utterly mine._ I hadn't realised until just now how many fortresses Alex had built around herself. _My love_.

I inhale deeply as I feel Alex’s hand gently push me down her body. I don’t need further encouragement as my tongue begins to circle her clit. My life’s hands immediately jerk in my hair as I lick her sex softly, wishing to build her arousal without hurting her. Her thighs tremble underneath my palms as I use my lips and tongue to tease my life to the edge. I hear her moan as she bucks against me, pleading for me to increase my tempo. Alex’s wish is my command as my lips finally take her in my mouth and begin sucking her dry. It takes only moments before my life begins to shudder in ecstasy. I suck her thru every last quiver of her orgasm as Alex arches beneath me. I continue to pleasure her as her body bucks against my attentions. When my life finally stills, I work my way back up her body until my mouth is reacquainted with hers.

Eventually, I pull my lips away and delight in my life snuggling her head into the crook of my neck. 'Olivia,' I hear her breathe as I feel her body shudder as sobs engulf her. She doesn't need to say anything more. We both know this is the first time I, an Alpha, have made love to her. ‘I love you Liv,’ she whispers, her lips tickling my throat as I feel droplets on my collar bone. My heart nearly explodes with joy hearing Alex use my nick name as happy tears role down my cheeks.

‘And I love you Lex,’ I reply using a nick name I’d been meaning to try out.

My life sighs in contentment as she plants the most delicate kiss on my neck. My last thought: _This is how it feels to finally belong. I’m home_.

 

A while later

A knock at the door abruptly awakens us. We both start as I jump out of bed and rush to put some clothes on. I search for and find my piece as I gesture to Alex to lock herself in the bathroom.

I silently kick the dildo under the sofa before I look thru the spyhole, my heart racing.


	25. Friend or Foe?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia and Alex have a visitor.
> 
> Rating: Mature Content.

_Casey!_  

I quickly rescan the room, hoping I’ve hidden everything incriminating before I unchain and unlock the door. Novak immediately barges past me. ‘Maybe let me know when you’re going off grid for… Jesus!’ Novak halts mid flow. I immediately look round the room dreading she may have spied the dildo but when I turn back to her, Novak is covering her nose in disgust. ‘What the hell is that smell?’ _Fuck._ There is nothing I can say, knowing my apartment reeks of sex, of my scent.  

‘Maybe if you’d called…’ I begin before pausing, knowing whatever I say will implicate us. 

Novak glares at me, her eyes fierce. ‘I have been calling you for over _two_ hours. Maybe if you hadn’t turned your cell off or actually had a landline _plugged_ in, just maybe I wouldn’t have had to see you or your place in this _state!’_ I blush with embarrassment knowing I have no worthy rebuttal. The ADA looks at me with knowing eyes. _She absolutely knows_ _Alex and I_ _have wasted hours of case time_ _having sex._ I lower my head, knowing my human mind can’t quite comprehend my animal needs either. I run my fingers thru my hair, hoping it isn't as wild as it feels.  

Anger suddenly hits me as I raise my eyes to meet hers. ‘Don’t piss me off right now Counsellor. You said you’d get Judge Donnelly onside. You saw the YouTube video. You know what’ll happen to Alex if she has to attend court this week!’  

Novak looks ready to explode. ‘Don’t you dare try to distract me when you’ve trampled over _every_ boundary just to get _your_ end in!’ she spits as her body shakes with anger. 

‘Get out! _Right now!_ ’ I shout in sheer rage. I have to stop myself stepping forward and striking her. 

My bedroom door suddenly slams shut. We both turn to see a beautifully dishevelled Alex standing in front of us, her fingers linger on the door knob before she approaches us, two snarling Alphas. ‘Casey,’ she says in polite greeting as Novak openly gawps at the vision walking towards us. Alex has borrowed an oversized Academy sweater and some of my leggings. _She_ _i_ _s_ _breathtakingly beautiful_ _._  

'Counsellor!' I admonish, enraged by Novak’s predatory stare. 

The ADA eventually shuts her mouth; the irony of her argument not lost on her as she gives me an apologetic glance. ‘Alex, I came to give you some good news. Liz watched the video and wants to discuss your case.’ 

‘How is that good?’ Alex asks, confused that nothing has changed, thinking of Wednesday, as she comes to stand next to me. Only I notice the alertness in my life's posture as she evades Novak’s aura.

‘We thought you may say that, so Liz has agreed to come to your apartment, today,’ Novak says eagerly, seeming pleased with this development.  

I bite my lip with regret at my earlier outburst. ‘Case…’  

‘Save it. I need to get out of this… dump. So if you could just give me your address,’ Novak requests, taking out a pen and paper from her bag.  

Alex and I look at each other. ‘I never invite anyone to my apartment. I’m not comfortable with welcoming someone I don’t trust and someone I’ve never met into my space.’  

Novak raises her eyes from her pad as Alex says this. ‘Would you prefer someone else represent you?’ I can detect the disappointment behind her tone as she asks the professional question. 

‘It’s not personal Casey. I don’t trust anyone besides Liv,’ Alex tries to explain. Novak nods her head, understanding. 

‘This isn’t normal practice Case,' I state warily. 

‘This isn’t a normal case Liv,’ Novak counters as she takes a step back, her senses over-powered by the strength of my scent. ‘And as you’ve brought up normal practice, to ensure the case isn’t thrown out, the…’ 

‘…the defence will need to attend too,’ Alex finishes Novak’s sentence as the colour drains from her face.

‘No fucking way!’ I state firmly, comprehending now why Novak took a step away from us, from me. I step forward, knowing exactly what I’m doing. ‘He’s a rapist waiting to happen Casey. There is no way…’ 

‘Alex,’ Novak simultaneously interrupts and ignores me. I seethe. ‘It’s either this, the case being thrown out or court on Wednesday when you're in heat,’ she lists the impossible options apologetically.  

Alex paces for several moments before she looks at me, her eyes desperate for some hope in the darkness. She turns to Novak. ‘Okay, say you, Judge Donnelly and the defence creep come to my apartment. What then?’ she begins nibbling her finger nervously. 

Novak takes a breath as she backs up to my apartment door. _What's next_ _?_ I wonder, reading Novak’s body language. ‘I’m sorry to say Liz has ordered the video be made available to Lionel.’ 

‘That’s a joke, right?’ I ask, anything but amused. ‘It’s available to _everyone!’_

‘So he can get off on watching us being assaulted _and_ make his case that the strays couldn't help themselves whilst he and you violate the only safe space I have left,’ Alex summarizes as she shuts her eyes momentarily. I clasp her hand and squeeze, hating that my life is being forced into yet another impossible situation.

‘The sick bastards probably already seen it,’ I utter as I stare at Novak, looking for, hoping for some kind of reprieve. 

‘I’m probably overstepping the mark here but I can hardly smell your scent. Liv’s is too overpowering!’ Novak confesses sheepishly as she gazes at Alex. My life blanches at Novak's meaning as hope suddenly pulses thru me. _That could work!_     

‘Yup, invite them here,’ I say without a second thought, knowing Alex would choose anything over hell. 

‘Yes, here,’ Alex agrees, happier. ‘When?' 

'As soon as you can but I would _strongly_ suggest you clean yourselves and this place up beforehand. Open some windows for fucks sake!' Novak stresses as she turns to leave. ‘If Liz gets a whiff of you two having sex...’ 

'Casey?' Alex steps forward, interrupting the awkward subject. Novak turns back to her. 'Can I try something?' _Oh no_ , my head screams. I grab my life's wrist as she passes me. Alex's defiant eyes stare into mine. 'I need to know,' she pleads, as she pulls her arm free from my grasp. I immediately put my gun on Novak. _Our fucking ADA. Jesus!_  

'What's happening Liv?' Novak asks, her eyes wide as Alex stops right in front of her.  

'She's protecting me,' Alex explains.  

'From who?' Novak asks dumbly, fear frazzling her brain. 

'You,' Alex replies as she takes a deep breath. ‘Put the gun down Olivia or this won't be an accurate representation,’ my life argues as she steels herself against the next possible moments. With immense effort, I lower my piece. 'Casey, I need to know how strong Liv's scent is. Can you sniff me?' I notice the slightest tremor of my Omega’s body as she offers her scent to another Alpha. My body surges with fear, jealousy and admiration for my Alex. _Fuck!_ I finger my gun anxiously, knowing in my heart of hearts, I would pull the trigger.  

Novak's eyes leave my weapon to look at my life partner. I sense her breathing morph from fear into arousal with my Omega's proximity. _Don't you dare touch her,_ my mind warns silently. Novak freezes for a moment, seeming to forget herself as she openly appraises the intoxicating woman in front of her. _For fuck_ _s_ _sake get this over with!_ She eventually floats her nose above Alex’s head and face. ‘All I can smell is you,’ Novak states, looking at me as she steps away from Alex. 

Alex turns and looks at me with such raw emotion bursting in her eyes that I lose my restraint and run the few steps to her, picking her up in a fierce hug as I spin her around me. ‘Olivia,’ she whispers into my hair as her relief exudes from every pore. My heart beat surges with unadulterated happiness as I put Alex down and gaze into her intoxicatingly beautiful eyes. 

‘Ahem.’ We're both startled by the sound, forgetting we have company.

‘I’m sorry Casey. I hope you understand,’ I apologise as I squeeze her arm briefly. 

‘If you ever...’ Novak starts, stepping forward just as Alex also moves forward; to protect me, I’m unsure. Their hands brush against each other by accident.  

‘No!’ I scream as Novak grabs Alex’s jaw and forcibly kisses her, taking ownership of _my_ life's mouth. _Fuck_ _!_ As Alex raises her arms in an attempt to escape Novak's Alpha grip, I dig my piece into the ADA's temple. 'Get the hell off my life!' Novak stiffens, releasing _m_ _y_ Alex, who retreats behind me reflexively; her breathing shallow, her eyes wide and filled with guilt and fear. 

I eventually lower my shaky aim as I watch Novak’s dilated pupils slowly reduce to pin pricks. ‘Alex... I...’ She stutters, trying to comprehend what has happened. 

‘Now you know why the gun,’ I state breathlessly, my own chest heaving with conflicting emotions. _The shock that my scent actually protects my life...to a point!_ My mind celebrates for a second.. _._ _Against the shock of watching the ADA lose her shit and assault my Omega._ I inhale several painfully deep breathes to prevent my fists connecting with Novak's face.  

I watch the blood drain from Novak’s features. ‘I’m so sorry Alex.’  

A tear runs down my life’s face. ‘I always knew I was taking a risk with you but...’ 

‘Any risk is too great. You need to step down,’ I state as Novak leans against the door for support.  

‘I... I just... You'll have to report this,’ she whispers as she looks between us, in complete shock that she, Assistant District Attorney for New York, has not only just indecently assaulted her case victim but has outed herself if Alex wishes to press charges.  

I gaze at Alex. My life is trying to regain control of her breathing as she keeps her eyes trained on the dangerous Alpha in front of her.  

'I would have killed you. I _want_ to kill you,' I state in the pregnant silence, the hand holding my gun shaking with the effort to keep it down. I watch as Novak stands to her full height, her eyes focused on my weapon.  

My life steps between us once more. 'From the first time we met, I knew you posed a risk to me. I should have asked for different representation then. But I thought you had a conscience.' My mind goes back to an earlier conversation: _Only the threat of death or a conscience stop them..._ ‘I can’t trust you Casey. I need someone safe to represent me,’ Alex admits in a heartbreaking whisper. 'I'm sorry it came to this for me to realise it,' she finishes as she wipes a tear from her cheekbone. 

'What do you want to do Lex?' I ask, caught between punching, shooting and cuffing Novak.

Alex turns to look at me, her eyes no longer hopeless as she squares her shoulders. 'I have already ruined one Detectives career, maimed six others and caused yet another to lose everything for me. I can't stand the thought of ending your dreams Casey but if you ever feel your urges getting the better of you, run as fast as you can. Because if I hear you've assaulted another Omega, I will hunt you down myself. Do I make myself clear?' My life seethes thru gritted teeth as she opens the door and psychologically manoeuvres the overwhelmed ADA out of my apartment. 'Tell Judge Donnelly and Defence Creep to come here for 4pm. I'll be representing myself.' 

My beautifully spirited Omega then slams the door before running into my arms, her head in the crook of my neck. 'Liv,' she whispers into my clavicle. 

'My Alex,' I breathe thru her hair. 'I would gladly lose everything to gain you,' I stress every syllable as I ache for the bliss of moments ago. 'Are you...?'

'I'm fine and I know,' she whispers as she pulls away slightly to look at me. 'Make love to me, my Alpha. Right now. _Please_ ,' Alex begs as she claws at my clothing. _I know she needs to rid her body of Casey's scent._   _I also know the only rapid sure fire way of halting our spiralling rage is an influx of endorphins._

'Yes Ma'am,' I growl as I kiss the fresh finger marks on either side of her jaw delicately before I take her mouth in mine. 


	26. Subordinate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia's apartment is violated.  
> Might they have an ally/enemy?
> 
> Rating: Mature Content.

3:34 pm 

After 20 minutes of hurried but nevertheless profoundly mind blowing love making, Alex and I finally stop to catch our breath.  

Our human minds acknowledge the fact our case judge will be gracing us with her presence in less than half an hour. But as I look down at my life, I can’t help but weaken to her pull as I kiss her once more. 

‘Liv,’ Alex murmurs as I draw away slightly to gaze down at her breath taking features. I watch how the low sun dances across her iridescent eyes as her chest strains for breath. ‘We need...’ 

‘I know,’ I concede grudgingly, as I push myself up from the bed and off of Alex’s perfection. I open some windows, allowing the January chill to bluster in to dilute the stench of my scent. I turn to watch Alex conceal her body beneath her jeans and white shirt. 

‘You not showering?’ I ask densely as I step toward the bathroom.  

‘No. I reek of body odour and your scent. I’m hoping Eau de Liv will make Defence Creep think twice,’ my life explains wryly, as she busies herself finger combing her mane before she decides to put it up to hide it’s tousled wildness. I gaze at her reflection. She stops and looks at me. I note the wariness behind her eyes as I worry about her incredible self control and calm since being indecently assaulted. _But t_ _his is Alexandra Cabot. ‘_ Stop looking at me like that or I’ll break,’ she warns, her voice cracking slightly. I ignore her warning as I approach her from behind and envelope her in a crushing hug. I feel her nuzzle against me as I bury my face into her neck.  

I eventually raise my head to find her cloudy blue eyes shining with tears. ‘I'm here,’ I whisper as I finally heed her warning by jumping in the shower, enjoying the feeling of fresh water on my skin. I rinse the last of the sweat from my body and towel myself dry.  

‘Lex?’ I call as I get dressed. 

‘Hmm,’ my life answers as she appears by my side, her face flushed from tidying the kitchen/sitting room. 

I turn and cradle her face in my palms. ‘Please forgive me Alex. I wasn't quick enough to stop he...’ 

‘Don’t you dare Liv! I chose to risk testing her. I was putting myself in danger but I knew you would stop her raping me. _You_ stopped her. You hear me?’ Alex’s eyes implore mine. ‘You are my only ally in this world. But for Christ’s sake Olivia, please stop being so lovely right now!’ My life’s orbs sparkle as tears threaten to fall once more. I can only nod as she brushes my lips so softly, so delicately, I audibly whimper.  

Alex pulls away from me and inhales a steadying breath. ‘Now where do you want me to put this?’ she asks, holding up my member. I grab it and stuff it in the back of my closet, knowing I really should wash it but I don't have the time. I then tweak her jaw as I step into the kitchen to find it spotless. I turn to my life in shock and gratitude, just as a knock at the door violates our slight reprieve. I raise my brow in a final request of permission, of consent, to open the door to one, perhaps two, potentially risky people. My spirited life partner inhales deeply before nodding her head as I watch her swallow down her fears. _Game face on_. 

Just as I’m about to look thru the spyhole, Alex holds up her finger to stop me. She silently runs back into the bedroom. I watch as she places her cell on my corner table, pointing the camera towards the room. My life gives me a swift nod. I nod back, marvelling at her ingenuity whilst trying to maintain my professional cop persona.  

I look thru the spyhole and groan inwardly. _I should have_ _known Defence Creep would_ _arriv_ _e_ _early, to_ _stalk_ _his prey_. I gesture to Alex, letting her know. She doesn’t react, at all; her icy steel persona in place. I decide to wait to see how long it'll take him to lose his patience and knock again. Unsurprisingly, it doesn’t take long. I decide against stalling him further. _We need him in an agreeable mood_. I endeavour to get his measure before he enters my domain so I open the door slightly, the chain still in place. His smug face is closer than I expected. I try to swallow down my revulsion as he licks his lips. It takes everything not to slam the door in his face. _You’re going to try it!_ I shut the door purposely slowly to override this urge. I turn to Alex one last time whilst feeling my piece for reassurance. She nods at me. _I have my gun_. I unchain and unlock the door. 

Lionel Granger walks over the threshold into my apartment. I remind myself to scrub anything he touches. ‘Detective Pitball,’ he says in greeting as he stares past me to my life. I step into his line of vision, my meaning crystal clear. _Back the fuck off_ _!_ ‘Miss Alexandra Cabot,’ he almost purrs, ignoring my warning. _Shit!_  

‘Stay there,’ I snarl, testing his position. _If he’s an Alpha..._ Another knock at the door interrupts my thoughts. _Fuck! If she’s an Alpha..._ My stomach lurches as I eye Defence Creep. _H_ _e’_ _s watched us being assaulted_ _._ _The excitement_ _in his eyes_ _is nauseating_ _._ ‘Don’t move.’ I purposefully finger my weapon to intimidate him before I look thru the spyhole. 

It’s only when I open the door that I realise the difference. Judge Donnelly has a presence that demands absolute respect and obedience. For the first time in my life, I feel instantly subordinate. _She’s an Alpha_ , my mind races. _She’s stronger;_ _more powerful_ _than I am!_ Nausea swims in the pit of my stomach as I greet the most intimidating person I’ve ever met. ‘Judge Donnelly.’  

‘Detective Benson,’ she replies stiffly as she steps into my territory, seemingly unaffected by my scent. ‘Lionel. Miss Cabot,’ she acknowledges. ‘Casey said she wouldn’t be attending?’  

‘No,’ I say simply, knowing over explaining can lead to over sharing.  

‘No, I’ll be representing myself, Your Honour,’ Alex steps forward for the first time as everyone in the room admires her magnificence.  

Judge Donnelly walks to the couch and sits down, the only person appearing to be without a care in the world. ‘Well that is unusual Miss Cabot, but I admire you for your choice,’ she compliments as she pats the seat beside her. ‘Lets sit down and begin,’ she instructs, taking complete control of the room. We immediately step towards the couch as I finally remember my manners. 

‘Coffee anyone?’ I suddenly realise how thirsty I am. 

Defence Creep turns to me as he sits on the opposite sofa to Donnelly. _Alex will have to sit next to one..._ ‘Black. Two sugars,’ he says, enjoying himself. I go to fill the kettle, to pour on him. _Creep!_  

‘Lionel,’ Judge Donnelly berates him. ‘This isn’t a social call.’ I stop what I'm doing, thinking it would be rude to drink if no one else is. Defence Creep looks slightly deflated as he stares at me. I can’t help giving him a slight smile of victory. He noticeably blanches. I regret gloating as soon as he turns round, knowing I’ve pissed him off. 

‘Miss Cabot, why don’t you sit down?’ he drawls. My life stays put, standing ramrod straight and appearing the embodiment of calm and elegance. Underneath her serene facade, I know she is screaming.  

‘You saw the upload. Did the ADA inform...’ I notice Alex’s use of distancing language to rid herself of Novak. 

‘The upload says enough,’ Judge Donnelly says evenly. ‘I know who and what you are.’ 

‘So who and what am I?’ Alex challenges as she remains resolutely statuesque in the corner of my sitting room.  

‘You're a rising star criminal attorney. And a constant victim, a survivor. The lowest of the low in our food chain,’ Judge Donnelly states directly. 

‘And you know this because?’ Admiration for my life reaches new heights as I watch her question the Queen Alpha.  

‘You’re a Cabot thru and thru. I can’t smell your scent,’ Donnelly quickly looks at me before returning her gaze to Alex. ‘But I know a..... what do you call yourself?’ 

‘Omega,’ Alex answers self consciously, trying to ignore Defence Creeps lecherous eyes. 

Donnelly nods her approval. ‘Yes, that fits perfectly. I know an Omega when I see one. I haven't met one of your kind in a long time...’ 

‘You have met other Omegas?’ I interrupt her. 

Donnelly turns to me, surprised at the interruption. ‘Yes, Miss Cabot's grandmother.’ My eyes meet Alex’s across the room. Donnelly notices. ‘I was the ADA for her case.' I watch as Alex’s eyes burst with a multitude of questions, emotions, needs. My own heart races with the possibility of a new pack member, an ally. Someone who understands. 

‘Liz, what's going on here? What's this Omega thing and surely this case is a conflict of interests? I’m obliged to put in a request for a change of Judge,’ comes Defence Creeps counter argument. I audibly groan having almost forgotten his presence. _Almost._  

‘Lionel, are you suggesting I'm an immoral, unethical choice?’ Donnelly stares him out. ‘Petrovsky is otherwise engaged, Ridenour is on sick leave, Cohen and Blake are overloaded and Preston is on arraignments. But be my guest if you want your clients to spend another few months on remand whilst you search for a free, able and most importantly, _willing_ judge,’ Donnelly counters effortlessly. ‘This case will be gasoline to a lit match. Put your claws away Counsellor.’ I enjoy the resulting embarrassment flushing across his features.  

Donnelly turns to Alex, ‘I know why you’re holding back...’ Then to me, ‘And why you're primed to defend her but know whilst I’m around, no one will hurt her,’ she promises with certainty.  

‘Words don’t mean much in my world. And if that’s the case, how come my grandmother...’ 

‘Your grandmother was an incredible woman Miss Cabot. She was the strongest, most determined person I have ever known. But it was physically impossible to protect her every single second of the day.’ My stomach freefalls. _This is my core_ _fear_ _:_ _not_ _always_ _being_ _there t_ _o protect_ _my_ _Omega_. I stare open mouthed at Donnelly's lack of tact. ‘And I understand what you mean about words. I’ll have to prove it to...’ 

‘Were you her Alpha?’ I can’t help interrupting again.  

'What the hell's going on Liz?' Lionel asks, exasperated. 

‘Can you both _please_ sit down. You’re making me nervous!’ Donnelly stresses, ignoring Lionel completely as Alex and I move to the couch. Alex thinks better of it and sits on a kitchen stool instead. Once my life is settled, I sit on the couch between her and our visitors. ‘How can I prove to you that I won’t attack you?’ Donnelly deflects my intrusive question expertly as she looks at Alex. My life glances at me, silently questioning whether to risk playing this game all over again. I run my eyes to the camera briefly as Alex nods her head. 

‘I need to let you both know that I am filming this meeting just in case one of you were to do just that. I’ve been assaulted too many times not to take such precautions...’ 

‘So you filmed your own rape?’ Lionel makes the disgusting link between this and the YouTube upload.  

‘If you keep leering at Ale... Miss Cabot or say one more word to that affect, I will throw you out!’ I state in no uncertain terms. Defence Creep blushes once more as he finally tears his eyes away from my Omega. 

‘I completely understand why you’re filming this,’ Donnelly says, utterly comprehending my life’s actions. 

‘Liz!’ Lionel huffs like a child. ‘I know my rights!’ He blusters, pumping out his chest. 

‘And I know mine!’ Alex snaps, having had enough of Lionel and his constant boundary pushing. ‘I know given the chance you would violate me, maybe even kill me. What’s filming, and then deleting, this meeting compared to that?’ Alex asks the room, exasperated. ‘I’ll delete it, if nothing happens, right before you leave.’ My heart swells as I allow her spirit to wash over me   

‘Liz! Are you going to allow this slander?’ Lionel rages as he stands. I stand too, my body prepared to defend at any cost. 'You're a bigger mental case than I thought!' he spits towards my Alex. _One, two, three..._

‘Sit the hell down Lionel!’ Donnelly commands. Defence Creep remains standing, causing adrenaline to infuse my ready muscles. 

‘Are you denying you look on Miss Cabot as prey? Because since you’ve stepped into my apartment, you haven’t taken your seedy eyes off of her!’ I lose myself in the heat of the moment. It's only when I feel my life's hand on my arm that my attention is completely distracted. She mouths ‘Don't’ before she withdraws her fingers. 

‘Are you two lovers?’ Lionel asks his trump question, his eyes gleeful as he watches us. ‘You seemed very close in the video... and now.’ 

‘I was protecting my case victim from a pack of lusting wolves. We hadn’t _plan_ _ned_ on being stripped and assaulted that day,’ I growl thru gritted teeth, after counting to ten again. 

‘Trouble appears to follow you Miss Cabot.’ _One, two, three..._  

‘Everyone, sit the hell down!’ Donnelly howls, demanding complete acquiesce. We sit down, though my heart races with seething rage as I gaze at my life briefly. She shakes her head. I turn away from her quickly. ‘If any of this behaviour is evident in court, I’ll place you in contempt, you hear?’ Defence Creep and I nod sheepishly. ‘Now let’s talk about the reason we're here. Lionel has an offer for you Miss Cabot.’ _An offer?_ We all turn to him. He smiles at us for a long minute, obviously enjoying this little taste of power. ‘ _Lionel!’_  

‘I have an attractive deal for you to consider. I don’t quite know why Liz pushed for this as I personally think the upload is an obvious attempt at fame mongering, nothing more,’ my life grips my hand forcefully to prevent me from killing him. ‘But seeing as Liz feels you won’t want to do battle with me in court, I’m proposing 2 years for Bob Ashton, 1.5 years for Ray Daniels and probation for Joel Ashton as it’s his first offence.’ This time, I grip Alex’s hand as I feel her tremble with rage.  

‘I believe the prosecution makes the offers,’ Alex states, her tone seething. 'So you and they aren't denying they raped me?'

‘We are giving you an out so you don’t have to face them. So you can get on with your life,’ Donnelly explains her reasoning. 

‘I _want_ to face them. I _want_ them to see me in court and know that I’m no longer afraid of them. I _want_ them to receive sentences they actually deserve. And that upload will be on the internet forever. There is no way I can ‘get on' with my life until I fight to take back what is mine,’ my life argues passionately. 

‘And what’s that?’ Lionel asks breathlessly, his face flush with arousal.  

Alex ignores his question, ignores him completely as she glances at Donnelly. ‘Does his first victim agree to your terms?’ Alex asks astutely.  

Silence. 

‘You’re willing to put yourself in further harms way to see them go away for double digits?’ Donnelly asks, slightly dumbfounded. 

‘This isn't about me. It's about all the other women they _will_ rape, abuse, potentially kill, if I don’t fight them.’ 

‘You know I’m going to tear you apart in court?’ Lionel can’t contain himself as he licks his lips, anticipation billowing from his every pore. ‘By the time I’m finished with you, you’ll be begging for mer...’ 

‘One more sexually charged threat from you and I’ll book you for harassment!’ I stand again and begin pacing the room, needing to rid my veins of the surging adrenaline before I beat him to a pulp.   

‘Tread carefully Lionel,’ Donnelly warns. ‘Well, it appears Miss Cabot is declining your offer,’ she adds, not unhappily as she stands. ‘Casey says you're ‘in heat’ from tomorrow?’ Alex nods in answer. ‘If I were to cause you harm to keep to my schedule, I’d be inhumane so we'll adjourn until the following Monday. Is that agreeable to everyone?’ Donnelly asks, though we all know it’s a pleasantry, not a choice. ‘Good, I will see you both in my chambers at 9am sharp and before you jump down my throat Detective, no, you can’t waltz into my chambers so you’ll have to trust that I can keep Miss Cabot safe,’ Donnelly looks me right in the eye.  

Before I can protest, Alex steps forward, her mouth moving wordlessly as she struggles to verbalize her thoughts. 

‘Spit it out Miss Cabot,’ Donnelly near barks as she peruses my life’s features. My heart stops as Alex offers her hand to Queen Alpha.  

‘Alex...’ I whisper, fear rioting thru my veins as I finger my weapon. _No, no, no..._  

Donnelly takes my Omegas hand in hers. The world plays in slow motion as my mind visualizes every possible consequence of this one action. Only when I notice their hands are no longer touching do I realise Judge Donnelly is no threat to my Alex. _Thank fuck!_  

‘Oh, one more thing,’ Donnelly says as she swallows harshly. ‘Once this case breaks, or you're identified thru the upload, the media will frenzy.’ _There is nothing more intoxicating than a beautiful,_ _spirited, attorney victim. Alex will be the people's favourite obsession._ I clear my throat as I attempt to dislodge the lump threatening to suffocate me. My heart breaks for the suffering my life has and is yet to experience. ‘You have to decide how you wish to direct the narrative,’ Donnelly says cryptically as she eyes my life one more time before she opens my apartment door and leaves, walking gracefully down the hall. 

I finally let go of the breath I’ve been holding just as Defence Creep steps forward. ‘Nice aroma you’ve got there Alex,’ he remarks slyly as he offers his hand.  

‘I think you mean Miss Cabot. _Leave_ ,’ I seethe but he doesn’t move. I'm fully aware I can’t shove him out, knowing he will cry assault at the earliest opportunity to rid himself of me; leaving my Omega physically vulnerable and alone. 

‘If you don’t leave right now, I’ll report you for sexual harassment,’ Alex states with absolute conviction. He rakes her body one last time before he chuckles and steps out of my territory. I slam the door before he has fully exited causing a slight yelp from the other side of the door. 

I turn to see my life panting, her eyes burning with a renewed vigour, determination and tempered rage. Never have I seen my life partner, Alexandra Cabot, look more intimidatingly beautiful.


	27. Knowing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Olivia realise some things and know others.  
> Olivia visits some ex and current pack members.
> 
> Rating: Mature Content.

Alex gives me a wry smile as she picks up her cell to turn the camera off. ‘He's unwittingly shared his arguments. Ignorant sleazebag!’ She shakes her head at his stupidity as she walks over to me. 

I run a hand thru her flaxen mane as I watch the humour die in her eyes. ‘How are you doing Lex?’ I breathe in her fierce magnificence as she wonders how to answer. 

‘I need to put my case together,’ Alex finally replies as she turns away. _Don't stonewall me._   

‘Hey.’ I clasp her hand loosely, causing her to turn back. I raise my brow in open concern at Alex’s evasion.  

She gives me the full force of her cloudy blue gaze. ‘Defence Creep isn’t the worst I’ve experienced Liv; not by a long shot. Yes, he makes my skin crawl, but he will never break my worth as a woman. I won’t let him!’ Alex whispers forcefully as my entire being melts for her.  

‘That’s not who I meant,’ I push the point, knowing my life is as awed by our case judge. 

Alex’s eyes soften as she gives me a non committal shrug. ‘Answers on a postcard please,’ she voices, admitting her confusion regarding the immense presence of one Elizabeth Donnelly. I gaze at my Alex, enthralled. ‘I really do need to get home and prep,’ my life changes the subject as she squeezes my fingers gently before freeing her hand from mine. She enters my bedroom to retrieve her bag. 

‘How can I help?’ I ask as I observe her graceful movements. 

‘Can you get me some water, Liv,’ Alex calls out. I instantly remember my own raging thirst. I quickly fill two glasses and gulp mine down. Alex takes hers and mirrors my actions in a slightly more elegant fashion as I gaze at her, waiting for a more thorough answer. 

‘Okay, can you fetch my case notes and any motions the Creep has filed from the ADA and bring them to me?’ my life requests as my fists clench. _Casey._ I nod in affirmation. Alex steps into my body and nuzzles my neck as I place my arms around her. ‘Thank you,’ she murmurs into my jaw. 

 

Alex's Apartment 

As soon as we lock and bolt her fortress, Alex gives me a smile, a real and full smile that reaches her eyes. My heart leaps out of my chest at the crinkles around them as I feel the beautiful rays of her rare sunshine. ‘I...I have to admit something,’ Alex confesses sheepishly. 

‘If you tell me you’ve fallen for the more powerful Alpha, I'll die right now!’ I half tease as my heart batters my rib cage. As soon as I feel this, I realise how calm my body has been since dominating my Omega.  

Alex chuckles deeply as she walks over to me, her arms circling my waist. ‘I’m sorry to say you won’t be rid of me _that_ easily,’ my life responds wryly as she pulls me closer. ‘I haven’t been entirely honest with you.’ My abdomen tenses. ‘I’ve been ‘in heat’ since earlier this afternoon.’  

I freeze for a moment, trying to understand her confession. I pull away slightly to look into her eyes. ‘Alex?’ I breathe, shock rocking my core. 

‘The meeting wouldn’t have happened if I'd told you. You know I’m right, sweetie,’ Alex argues as she stares into my soul. _Sweetie_. I shiver.  

‘You’re not the type of woman who’d let anyone stop you once you’re on a mission,’ I concede as I kiss her forehead.  

‘Damn right,' Alex agrees passionately as she cradles my jaw in her hands. 'I’m sorry I didn’t tell you but when you didn’t react to my heat, I thought I'd test how strong your scent actually is. I hope you understand,’ my life gazes into my eyes, pleading for my approval. 'Sorry for being distant earlier. It was the only way I...'

‘Lex! My scent covers your heat! My god Alex!’ I exclaim as tears suddenly sting my eyes. I wrap my arms around her as I feel her body mould into mine. 'What does this mean?' I ask breathlessly, as every nerve in my body tingles. ‘You went into heat a day early.’ 

'It means you are saving me in every way an Omega can be saved. It means I am one of the lucky few to find a conscience driven Alpha and one capable of loving, not abusing, a woman far more vulnerable than herself,' Alex whispers into my neck as she kisses my skin. ‘And I think your dominance quickened my cycle.’ 

‘So is that a good th..?’ 

‘The only thing we need to know is your scent covers mine,’ Alex stresses as her breathing hitches in elation. 

'You could have been raped or killed today,' I say gruffly, my fears of losing the love of my life growing stronger with every passing second I'm with her. 

Alex pulls away from me slightly. 'Which is no different to any other day, 'in heat' or not,' she whispers, her eyes glazing with tears as she looks into my equally moist orbs.  

I clutch her beautiful face as I allow myself to drink in the contoured perfection of her features. 'I will protect you until the day I die,' I say with absolute certainty. 

‘You can’t protect me all the time Liv, as Judge Donnelly said; as Stabler and Novak proved. We can’t stop people brushing against me during daily life and I can’t live in these four walls forever,’ Alex counters factually, her eyes shining with knowing. _M_ _y life will be raped again, abused again_ _a_ _nd there is nothing I can do to stop it._ Nausea hits my stomach. 

‘I will torture, maim and kill to keep you alive,’ I argue vehemently as I wipe a tear from Alex's cheek. 

'One day, I hope to return the favour,' my life whispers as she nuzzles my neck once more. 

'Don’t _ever_ think you owe me anything,' I state earnestly as I embrace her fiercely. Alex's hands move slowly down my back. 

'You’re the only person who shows me the truth behind those words. Do you have any idea what that means to me? What you mean to me?' My life asks as she cups my behind, her face firmly in the crook of my neck.  

'All I know is I can’t love you anymore than I do right now,' I whisper as Alex's hands move to the front of my jeans. 'Stop,' I say as I step backwards slightly to avoid her intent. 'Remember, you don’t owe me anything; ever,' I stress, holding her face close to mine as I watch the tears finally fall from her intoxicating orbs.  

'I love you,' Alex whispers thru her tears. I place my forehead against hers and hold her as her body weeps; with joy, with knowing. 

 

The ADA's Office 

After leaving Alex’s apartment, I taxi straight to Casey’s office, deciding against calling her first. _No warning, no place to hide._ I walk into her open office without knocking and wait for her to raise her head. I know she knows it's me as she lifts her head sharply in alarm. _My scent._ Her eyes are wide with surprise and fear as she waits for me to speak, throw a punch, something. 

'I need all your case notes for court, any motions the Defence has filed and Alex's sealed case files,' I request sternly without preamble. 

Novak stares up at me feebly before she nods her head. She gets up from her desk and unlocks her filing cabinet, retrieving a safe. The ADA uses a penchant in her necklace to open it and gives me all the paperwork therein. I take them and sift thru to ensure the sealed files are complete. 'Liv...' Novak utters as I continue to rifle thru the papers. 'Liv, please,' she persists as I ignore her presence. 'I'm so sorry,' Novak apologises as she rounds her desk bravely. 'I don’t know what...' 

'Stop!' I growl, hating her voice, her words, her attempts at reconciliation. 'You know _exactly_ what you were doing!' I seethe as I take a step away from her. 

Novak doesn’t heed my silent request. 'Liv, come on. We both know if Alex hadn't given you the green light, you'd be in the queue too.’ 

I freeze in utter disgust at the ADA's words. I slowly raise my head as my eyes lock with hers. I put down the case files carefully before I turn my body towards her. Novak realises the danger and begins to back away. When her retreat is halted by the bookcase, I stop my advance, shaking. 'You are worse than El, than Defence Creep. At least El tried to stop himself, apologised and took the consequences like a man, took my fists like a man. At least Granger doesn't fake his want so I know exactly where his heads at. _You_. You forcibly kissed her and have no grace in accepting your heinous wrong,' I utter thru gritted teeth as I attempt to dampen the urges coursing thru me to hurt her. My hands tremble with the control it takes not to un-holster my weapon and shoot her. 'I need you to tender your resignation. _Today_. If you don’t and we have to work together again, I won't be able to stop myself from killing you,' I state breathlessly as I pick up the files and march out of her office before my fists connect with every atom of her body. 

 

Alex's Apartment 

I notice the difference as soon as I unlock the outer door to Alex's penthouse hallway. My raging body instantly infuses with molten heat as my blood flows directly to my clit. _She's showered_. I lick my lips as I hear my life unbolting and unlocking her apartment door. My heart ricochets in my chest, my lungs batter my rib cage and my core radiates with a need so searing, my crotch aches and burns in equally devastating measure. 

As soon as she opens the door, Alex realises. Disappointment flashes in her eyes momentarily, her hopes that my scent would survive her shower, in tatters. I can only imagine how I look as I pant to within an inch of hyperventilating. 'Lex...' I breathe as I hand her the files, staying otherwise frozen on the threshold to her apartment.  

'Come in Liv,' Alex coaxes breathlessly as I feel her body mirroring my own. _The most potent aphrodisiac._ My clit swells as I take a step back. _I can control myself._ 'Liv,' my life states in protest. ‘Sweetie, what's...’ _Jesus!_  

'You need to prep and I need to make an appearance at the precinct. Later, my love, I promise,' I whisper as I turn away before I lose my nerve.  

Every step feels heavier than the last as I reach the penthouse outer door. I turn and immediately regret it, taking in the burning desperation evident in every contour of my life’s beautiful features.  _God!_ I turn and begin opening the outer door, knowing Alex will be forced to shut hers to keep anyone lurking out. _I can control myself._  

 

The Precinct  

‘Cap,’ I say in greeting as I walk into his open office. _The days away have_ _certainly_ _eased_ _my_ _tensions_ _surrounding_ _this_ _place_ _._ _A place I used to call home_.  

Cragen looks up from his desk and gives me a smile, his kind eyes creasing. ‘Liv,’ he says as he stands before retaking his seat, his body language slightly awkward in his excitement at seeing me. ‘I thought you were laying low,’ he states as my mind immediately goes back to the upload. I swallow.  

‘What can you tell me about Judge Donnelly?’ I voice as I take a seat opposite him.  

Cragen audibly clears his throat before he raises his eyes to mine. ‘What do you want to know?’ 

‘Is she an ally or yet another headfuck?’ I ask plainly, not having the energy for subtlety. 

‘Yet another...?’ Cragen starts to enquire. 

‘Don’t ask!’ I shut him down, wishing to get to the point, my entire reason for being here. ‘Does she have a conscience?’  

‘Why are you asking me?’ Cragen questions evasively.  

‘Because you were part of Grandmother Cabot’s protective detail and Judge Donnelly was ADA at the time,’ I reveal pointedly, fast losing my patience.  

Cragen bites his lip. I nod, letting him know I’m pissed he kept this detail from me. ‘Is Miss Cabot alright?’  

His question takes me by surprise, softening my hardened resolve. ‘Alex is safe,’ I relent, giving him a smile. 

‘Elizabeth Donnelly was the reason Agnes Cabot survived as long as she did...’ 

‘Were they lovers?’ I interrupt him, in my desperation to know. 

‘No idea. I’ve never officially met her but I have no doubt she will protect Miss Cabot, as far as is feasible.’ 

‘How come Donnelly was the reason Alex’s grandmother survived so...?’ I go back to Cragen’s earlier disclosure. 

‘Agnes Cabot was a battered woman with nowhere to go. Donnelly invited Agnes to live in an annex attached to her and her husband’s property.’ 

‘Donnelly is married?’ 

‘Yes, to Senator Donnelly,’ Cragen says in surprise of my ignorance as he leans forward on his desk. I sigh heavily in relief.  

‘Your partner murdered Agnes in Donnelly's property?’ Cragen nods. A cold sweat runs the length of my body. ‘So neither Donnelly or her husband abused Agnes?’ 

‘Not to my knowledge, no. Liv, what's this about?’  

‘If another person assaults Alex, I think I may go down for murder,’ I state honestly as I look past the Captain. ‘Alex _need_ _s_ allies. True allies.’ 

‘You mean Omegas, gay men, straight women and/or Alphas with steel conscience?’ I nod my head slowly. ‘ _I’m_ an ally Liv,’ he stresses as his soft eyes meet mine. 

‘If you touched her, you would hurt her,’ I challenge without malice.  

My Captain turns away from me. ‘I protected Agnes as far as I could Liv.’ 

‘That’s what terrifies me,’ I whisper as I swallow down the lump in my throat. ‘No amount of effort is going to stall the inevitable. I can’t bare the thought of anyone touching, abusing, assaulting her _ever_ again. _Especially_ someone in my circle,’ I wince as I stand to leave. 

‘Dr Huang wants to see you again,’ Cragen regains my attention. 

‘He’s discussed Alex and I with you?’ I ask, incredulous, thinking of client confidentiality. _Or not._  

‘He tried to contact you with little success. He didn't say anything more than he thought it would be interesting to see you again,’ Cragen clarifies. 

‘Interesting hey?’ I shake my head in thought. ‘Well it can’t be until next week because Alex... and then the trial...’ 

‘He wants to see _you_ again,’ Cragen interrupts me. I look at him in surprise. ‘You, Liv.’  

‘Anything on the upload?’ I change topic, not wanting Cragen to see how much I _need_ another session with the psychiatrist.  

‘Munch and Fin have got tech on it. We are narrowing the leads,’ Cragen reassures me. ‘And Liv?’ he calls as I step towards the door. ‘I’m here, in whatever guise you and Miss Cabot are most comfortable with. Okay?’  

‘I know,’ I acknowledge softly, turning to leave to hide the emotions swimming in my eyes.  

I head for home; to my purpose, to my soul mate, to my Alex. 


	28. Spirited

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia and Alex have some sexy time and a heated debate.  
> Someone has been caught....
> 
> Rating: Explicit Content

I knock on Alex’s apartment door as my conflicting emotions fluctuate between rampant desire, overwhelming exhaustion and unnerving fear of the future.  

As I drink in the vision that is my life partner, my heart stops as tears fill my eyes. 

‘Sweetie,’ Alex rushes towards me and helps me over the threshold. My life quickly bolts and locks the door, as much to prevent me from escaping again as to keep violators from entering her haven. ‘Talk to me,’ she cajoles as she walks with me to her couch. We sit down together, Alex pushing her body close to mine as she waits for me to speak. _Too_ _close._ After only moments, she realises my tears and the visceral desire coursing thru me will make this task impossible.  

Alex places her finger under my chin to force eye contact. I gaze into her iridescent eyes, overflowing with love and concern. Alex moves her lips closer as my chest nearly explodes with the arousal rioting thru my body. I feel her own panting breaths against my skin as her succulent lips lock with mine. My body instantly erupts with soul shattering release. I stiffen, knowing this is exactly what Novak would have felt, possibly even more intensely, it being her first time. _Jesus_ _,_ _no!_  

I pull away and stand as I rake my hands thru my hair, my body aching for my life, whilst my mind rages at the thought of the ADA experiencing pleasure whilst assaulting my Omega. 

‘Liv, please talk to me,’ Alex begs as I pace her sitting room. Tears flow freely down my checks as I try to gain a handle on my thoughts and emotions. 

‘Alex,’ I breathe as my heart feels ready to burst out of my chest. ‘Novak,’ I finally confess as my life walks over to me. I stand frozen, waiting, anticipating.  

Alex slowly takes my hand and places it over her heart. _My life_. I gaze into her cloudy blue eyes as I feel her chest hitch under my touch. ‘This and every cell around it lives, beats, breathes for you. _Only_ you. No one can take me completely now I have my one true home. No matter how many came before and how many...’ My life loses her voice as a tear trails down her beautiful face. ‘You are the one. The _only_ one. I love you Olivia, with all my heart, body and soul. I was born to be yours.’ Every fibre of my being melts. 

I openly peruse my life partner. I let my eyes convey my absolute adoration for the spirited and breath-taking vision before me as I wipe her tear away with my thumb.  

‘We will get thru this, my love,’ she states with absolute certainty as she places my hand on her nape. ‘Take me, my Alpha,’ Alex purrs as she brushes her lips against mine. My hand grips her nape more firmly as I kiss her mouth with renewed urgency. _My Omega._  

Alex melts into my arms as I run my hands under her white shirt, marvelling at the cool feel of her skin as my body shudders with aching desire.  

I back her up against the kitchen table as our tongues duel. Alex knowingly lays down on it. I eagerly climb on top of her, straddling her as I rip my shirt off. My life unzips my jeans as I tear her shirt from her body. My clit a fireball of frenzied need and blinding arousal as my heart mantras my soul mates name: _Alexandra Cabot, Ale..._  

I pull off her pants and mine, flinging them aside before I nibble Alex’s neck; her scent, her aura driving me crazy with lust. I groan as I feel her arms encircle me, pulling me closer to her intoxicating scent as I lose control of my quivering sex. Scorching heat spirals thru my core as I experience earth shattering climax. I close my eyes fleetingly before I gaze down at my Omega; in heat, in need and waiting for her Alpha. _My God!_ _How do I deserve this?!_  

My hands begin roaming Alex's flesh as I explore every inch of her devastatingly beautiful body. Every bruise, every burn, every scar I kiss softly as my life whimpers with surging desire. I use a knee to gently spread her thighs. I feel her arch up towards me as I tease her, softly rubbing my thigh against her. Alex's breasts brush my own as my life begins thrusting against me. 

I rip at Alex’s panties to give her more direct access as her abdomen pumps with each thrust. I try to resist becoming involved as I observe the most arousing sight of my life; a vision I have only fantasized about in the privacy of my own head: _my_ _A_ _lexandra Cabot is currently naked_ _,_ _arching_ _herself towards me_ _,_ _her_ _every muscle t_ _ens_ _ing and quivering_ _,_ _her eyes_ _hooded_ _in_ _concentration as_ _she holds onto the table for dear life._ Her sex grinds against me, aching for release as she suddenly stiffens, a low moan escaping her lips. I claim her mouth as my fingers stroke her clit to prolong her pleasure. 

Fierce raging heat stokes my core; my heart, lungs and clit screaming, throbbing, aching for release as Alex's body continues to shudder against me. I wrap my arm around her midriff to support her weight as her climax riots on.  

Alex turns her head away to free herself from the kiss, her panting chest begging for breath. My life inhales sharply as I nuzzle between her breasts, my lips and tongue taunting her. I feel Alex's hands rake thru my hair as I lose myself again. I gasp as my clit swells and contracts thru the most devastating orgasm of my life. My core melts as scorching release surges thru my trembling body. Alex’s lips are suddenly on mine, intensifying my pleasure as her fingers tickle my sex. _Fuck!_  

Before I know it, Alex and I are sat up, leaning into each others shoulders, our bodies keening against our partner's fingers and thighs as we both rut with rabid intensity. Our need becomes ever more desperate as our bodies reach the precipice of release.  

Suddenly, our insides shatter into a thousand pieces. My attempts to breathe fail me as my body flashes with lightening bolts of climax so intense, I wonder how I'll weather the storm raging on inside me. All I can do is nuzzle Alex's neck as my body bows under the relentless waves of orgasm radiating thru my every nerve ending. I gasp as I strain to inflate my screaming lungs as my life continues to thrust herself against me, driving thru her own release.  

I finally collapse onto my Omega as teasing swells of aftershock throb thru our bodies. 

 

Morning 

I wake to find my Alex splayed across my naked body, the sheets entangled in her endless limbs. Her head rests on my shoulder, her hand splays against my chest, her soft breathes my only reason for living.  

I succeed in untangling myself without waking my life somehow. I pick up my cell and walk to the kitchen in search of water to sate my parched mouth. I pour a glass and gulp it down before I raid the fridge for eggs, bacon and bread.  

As our breakfast fries, I decide I can’t hold off turning on my cell any longer. _Will I regret this?_  

Literally hundreds of texts, missed calls and voice messages overload my senses. _Fuck!_  

As I’m about to wake Alex, my cell rings: _Cragen_. I instinctively switch off the gas. 

‘Cap.’ 

‘Liv, have you seen the news?’ A cold sweat creeps up my spine. _No_ , I answer wordlessly as I switch the TV on. The blood drains from my face as I watch edited footage of our hell being played on every primetime network. The headline: _NYPD Detective_ _Olivia Benson_ _saving or raping_ _rising_ _C_ _riminal_ _A_ _ttorney star Alexandra Cabot outside_ _the_ _P_ _recinct_ _?_ _!_ My stomach hits the floor. 

I turn to find my life frozen, her eyes wide, disbelieving, as the footage plays over and over again. ‘Turn it off,’ Alex near growls as she attempts to cover her nakedness, instantly feeling self conscious and vulnerable. I hit the remote as I go to her. Alex suddenly looks at my cell. _Shit!_ I take her hand as I put it back to my ear. 

‘Cap, you still...’ 

‘Yes Liv. Where are you?’  

‘With Alex,’ I answer evasively, not wanting anyone to know about this one sanctuary.  

‘Are you both safe there?’ Cragen persists. 

‘More than anywhere else,’ I concede as delayed anger hits me. ‘What the fuck, Cap? They’re replaying the upload likes it’s everyone’s favourite porno!’ I state thru gritted teeth, hating the world and all but one being in it. 

‘Liv,’ Cragen says softly, using his most empathetic tone. ‘This was going to happen. We can’t stop it. Freedom of speech, it being in the public domain via YouTube and all that crap. All we can do is control the damage. It’s best you stay low ‘til just before the trial...’ 

‘We’re not going to be caged like animals whilst the media spins any angle they like,’ I stress as I squeeze my life’s hand. Alex nods her head in agreement. 

‘So what do you want to do Liv?’ 

‘Find and nail the fucker!’ 

‘How longs your phone been off?’ Cragen asks rhetorically. I blanch. ‘We’ve got him. We've had him for hours.' I almost lose my balance as the world begins to teeter on its axis.  

‘They’ve got him Lex,’ I share, a little colour flushing Alex's otherwise deathly pale features. ‘Cap, do everything you can to make his stay uncomfortable. I’m on my way.’ 

‘There’s no way you're coming here. It’s a circus, not to mention a conflict of interests.’ 

‘And you wait until now to throw the book at me?’ I ask with ill concealed annoyance.  

‘You’re ignoring the bigger problem here Liv,’ Cragen explains. 

‘I’m not going to let this guy get away with...’ 

‘Detective! I order you to stay there. Understood?’ Cragen loses his patience. ‘But Miss...’ 

I end the call, unwilling to heed my Captain's order. As soon as I hang up, Fins name covers my screen. ‘Fin, tell me about him,’ I immediately forego any pleasantries.  

Thankfully Fin isn’t into small talk. ‘Not what you’d expect. Not a jock or obvious dick. Quiet and all white boy.’ I can’t help but smirk at his description. 

‘He talking?’  

‘No. Seems scared shitless. He wants to meet Miss... Alex before he says anything. Says he'll only talk to her.’ _What?_  

‘Wh..?’ 

‘We can’t keep him ‘til Monday Liv,’ he explains unnecessarily. 

‘There’s no way Alex'll meet that freak!’ I squeeze her hand. I take a deep breath as I gaze into her questioning eyes. My life frees her hand and gestures for my cell. I shake my head. ‘No Fin!’ Alex mouths a more colourful request. I still refuse her.  

My life storms into the bedroom as I end the call. She walks back into the sitting room, cell to her ear. ‘Fin, it's Alex. Tell me.’ My life paces the sitting room, her eyes warning me to stay back as she hears Fin’s plan. Every fibre of my being wants to tear the cell from her fingers and smash it to pieces. ‘I’ll do it!’ _No!_ Alex ends the call and stares at me fiercely.  

My frayed emotions jump between intense arousal, overwhelming anger and mind numbing fear for her, as I feel the full force of my Omega’s spirited determination.  

‘Remember when I said I wouldn’t be submissive in all areas? I may be your Omega, you may be my Alpha. I know you want to protect me. But don’t you _ever_ take a decision away from me again, Liv! _’_   

Anger radiates thru my spine. ‘If you die or get hurt because of this deci...’ 

‘It’s my decision to make! With your scent, I can...’ Alex argues, her body trembling with quiet rage. 

I interrupt her. ‘Not when every decision you make involves me!’ 

‘So it’s okay for you to make decisions for us but not me?’ Alex counters as her eyes blaze with icy conviction.  

I can only stare at this soul shatteringly beautiful goddess as I marvel at her strength, her stupidity. We stand two metres apart, naked, frozen for several beats, our chests panting, our loins straining, as we feast on each others stubborn resolve to be right. 

Finally, my life gives me her sign by slowly, teasingly licking her lips. My body surges with explosive molten heat as I race towards her; us both knowing my Omega is about to be dominated to within an inch of her life. 


	29. Underling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia dominates Alex.  
> Can they get to the Precinct safely?  
> Fin has to pass a test.
> 
> Please read from the second page break if you loath sub/dom. 
> 
> Rating: Explicit Content

I push Alex into the bedroom before I release her upper arms. I observe Alex’s questioning gaze, simmering with arousal, as she waits for my instructions. My chest heaves with wanton desire as my whole body begins to tingle. 

‘Lay down,’ I state huskily, pointing to the bed. I watch as my life does exactly that. Tremors of animal need surge to my crotch as my Omegas eyes never leave mine, her face flush with anticipation.  

I openly gawk at the perfection of this stunningly beautiful creature as the first whimpers escape Alexandra Cabot's lips. ‘Liv, please,’ my life begs as I remain stood at the end of the bed, my gaze taking in every last inch of her. ‘ _Please_ touch me... I can't... I need to...’ 

‘Stop talking,’ I scold her. ‘If you _actually_ plan on doing this, I’m going to take my time as this may be the last...’ I can’t say more as my lungs strain momentarily at the thought of losing my... _stop!_  

Alex moves to sit up; guilt, love and determination shining in her eyes. ‘Liv...’ 

‘I said stop talking!’ I snap firmly, anger pooling in my gut. ‘Did I say you could sit up?’ My life lays back down immediately.  

Watching Alex submit to me is almost my undoing. My heart beat deafens me, my lungs batter my rib cage and my clit swells and quivers with such ravenous hunger that my vision narrows and my body begins to sway. 

I hear Alex’s voice in the distance as everything goes... 

 -+-+-+-+-+

I wake to Alex cradling me in her arms on the bedroom floor; her lips at my forehead as she whispers, ‘... I'm so sorry my love... You are the most powerful, kindest, beautiful...’ 

‘Alex...’ I breathe causing my life to jolt in surprise as she leans back slightly to gaze into my eyes. Her orbs convey such concern that my heart nearly shatters. ‘I’m sorry,’ I utter as tears threaten to spill over.  

‘Sweetie, my Alpha, _I’m_ so sorry. Every fibre of my being wishes I could be less torturous to your mind, body and soul,’ Alex breaths as she cuddles me closer. ‘When did you last eat something?’ 

‘I... I can’t lose you,’ I whisper as I pull her closer still, my lips and teeth at her neck, nibbling her intoxicating scent. ‘You still smell and taste like you,’ I note as I kiss her jaw.  

My body reignites instantly as rioting heat infuses my blood. I push Alex down to the floor before I straddle her lower back, causing a gasp to escape her lips. ‘Stretch your arms above your head and don’t move,’ I demand breathlessly as my hands caress her sides, teasing her breasts slightly.  

I fist Alex's flaxen locks and wrench her head backwards, making my life’s body arch as I straddle her. I hear my Omega whimper slightly at this as she uses her arms to support her weight.  

I begin rubbing myself against her, my fist holding her captive. _I_ _need_ _Alex t_ _o feel_ _a tenth of the_ _pain_ _, the_ _anxiety currently_ _pummelling_ _my_ _senses_ _because of_ _her_ _highly risky_ _decision_ _. I_ _need_ _to show her how insanely angry_ _she_ _has made me_. I tighten the fist in her hair, arching Alex back further still as I pinch and claw at her breasts with my free hand. My life can’t suppress a moan, leading my fingers to clamp more fiercely against her flesh. All the while, my clit rakes against her back as I coax myself ever closer to spine tingling release.  

I don’t ease my grip on Alex’s mane as I lean in to nibble her exposed neck. My entire body trembles as I'm unable to resist biting her flesh. As soon as I taste her blood, my already mind-numbingly aroused state surges into a lustful frenzy of visceral desire. _Jesus!_ I bite her again, beading yet more droplets that I lap up with a thirst so devastatingly powerful, whispers of orgasm creep up and envelope me in a cascade of rippling intensity so achingly exquisite, I can’t help relentlessly thrusting myself against her to prolong these sensations. ‘God Alex!’ I exclaim as my climax riots thru my senses.  

I realise this surging arousal is blinding me to Alex's needs. _Alex_ , I fight for my mind to think, for my body to stop. I notice my Omega's body has stiffened slightly but my animal needs force this concern aside. 

As soon as my scorching orgasm cools to a simmer, I flip Alex over and pin her wrists above her head. I lean down to claim her mouth savagely, bruising her as I near chew at her lips. I rock my hips against her toned abdomen as molten heat migrates straight to my clit. I deepen the kiss as the first eruptions of searing pleasure radiate thru my core. My vision narrows as my body bows to the mind blowing sensations coursing thru the entirety of me. I tear my mouth away as I take a shuddering breath, my lungs screaming for oxygen.  

I gaze down at my Omega, pinned and completely at my mercy; her smouldering eyes goading me as I’m near blinded by the force of yet another climax bursting from my clit, the pleasure almost too much for my body to bear.  

With one look, my Omega knows to keep her arms above her head as I release her wrists. My hands explore my life’s tantalizing body; every curve, every jut, every perfect imperfection. Alex gasps beneath my ghosting palms, keening for her own release. I tease her relentlessly, touching and stroking every inch of her, save her sex.  

I flip my Omega back over into her front and fist her flaxen mane once more, forcibly tilting her head back as my other hand gropes her neck, her collar bones, her breasts. I begin thrusting myself against her buttocks as my hand trails lower and lower still. My life’s breaths become ragged as her body begs me to stroke her, her hips bucking in an attempt to meet my fingers. I keep them laid against her navel, rubbing her stomach as I pull her head even further back causing a gasp to escape Alex’s lips, her arms flailing to support her arched frame.  

My hand inches down her abdomen, my fingers torturing her as I bypass her clit and stroke her inner thigh instead. ‘No..!’ bursts from my Omega's lips in utter frustration at my teasing. I hear Alex's panting breaths, her hips moving slightly under mine as her body pleads for me to end her torment.  

I feel my life's entire body shudder and tremble with hope, with promise as my fingers finally trail south. I slip a finger inside her, making my life shriek in shock, in pleasure as the ready orgasm finally splits her in two.  

I continue to ride my Omega, my fist holding her captive as I increase my fingers tempo. My life whimpers and moans as her body tenses and slackens thru the relentless waves of her climax. My own release bursts from my core, radiating thru the length of my body as I strain to keep my soul from shattering.  

Before my life can recover, my thumb curves to meet her swollen clit. I stroke Alex's over-sensitized nub as her body trembles, stiffens and quivers, her final orgasm ripping thru her with an intensity so potent, Alex screams my name as she rides the crest of her mind blowing release.  

-+-+-+-+-+-

‘Liv?’ Alex breathes. My attention is already completely engaged, my gaze entranced by the radiant beauty in my arms.  

‘Hmm.’ 

‘Can you ask Fin to come here? He’ll listen to you,’ she asks as she gauges my reaction. Before I can voice my concerns, Alex continues, ‘...to make sure your scent has completely overridden mine,’ my life explains as she looks at me, her strained eyes conveying her anxiety for the first time.  

‘Why do you need to do this?’ I can't help but ask as I gaze into her endless cloudy blues. 

‘You know why. This... this voyeur will be released in under a day if I don’t get him talking. I _need_ to know why. Surely you understand that?’  

I nod my head slowly as I glance at her grazed neck. Alex notices and turns away to hid my mark. ‘Hey,’ I say as I use a hand to guide her eyes back to mine. ‘I’m... I bit you. I hurt you and what’s worse, I knew I was hurting you and I... I’m sorry, I’m so sorry... Please forgive...’ I attempt to apologise, trying ineptly to voice the words formed so much more eloquently in my mind. _God_ _,_ _I’m so sorry my love. I was angry, so very angry and I wanted you_ _t..._  

‘You lost control. My decision enraged you. We both needed you to sate that rage before you hurt someone,’ my life looks me straight in the eye. I turn away, ashamed. Alex mirrors my actions from moments before by clutching my jaw, gently forcing my eyes to meet her gaze. She clears her throat self consciously. ‘My blood, especially when I’m in heat, is like physical heroin and mental valium. Your animal drive couldn’t have been suppressed if you tried. _But_ , you are the only person to stop, to not hurt me. After my abusers realise the potency of my blood, their urges reach new, sadistic heights. These are the times I'm severely injured, brutalized, beaten, until you,’ my life confesses as she tucks a stray hair behind my ear, a lone tear trickling down her cheekbone. 

My swallow hard in an attempt to stop the nausea, the guilt, travelling up my oesophagus. ‘I felt you stiffen but I couldn't stop...’ I admit as my breath hitches, a sob escaping my lips as I thumb Alex’s tear away. 

‘ _Listen_ to what I'm saying my love: you didn’t hurt me.' Alex's iridescent eyes pin mine. 

‘I wrenched your hair; forced you to arch your body; my finger... your,’ I stammer.

‘Did I ask you to stop?’ my life counters astutely. 

‘No,’ I concede, as Alex takes my hand and squeezes. My heart flutters with slight relief. 

‘Remember your touch is lighter fuel to my burning core,’ Alex reassures me as she withdraws her hand and moves to stand up. ‘We okay?’ my Omega asks adorably as concern shadows her features. I nod my head as I stand to envelope my life in my arms. I nuzzle her cheek for several moments before I pull away.  

‘I’ll call Fin... and Lex?’ My life turns from retrieving her clothes. ‘I love you.’ 

 -+-+-+-+-+ 

The sudden shrill of an alarm jolts me as I watch Alex turn on her TV. A black and white image of Fin standing near the apartment outer door appears on the screen. Alex uses the remote to survey the area behind him to make sure she isn’t about to be ambushed. Seeing no other threats, my life presses a button to allow Fin into her penthouse hallway. My heart beat spikes, knowing this is the first time Alex has allowed anyone besides me into her haven. I swallow down the pathetic jealousy that gnaws at my gut. 

I handle my weapon as Alex slowly unbolts and unlocks her fortress door. ‘Fin?’ my life shouts thru her penultimate physical barrier as one bolt remains in place. ‘Unclip your mag and empty the chamber of your weapon,’ Alex requests as she watches Fin do as she asks on the screen.  

As Alex opens the door to her apartment, Fin meets the barrel of my gun. Unfazed, Fin awaits further instructions. My life nods her head slowly as she inhales a steadying breath. ‘Take his gun Liv and frisk him.’ I acquiesce, using one hand to pat down my friend. _Please be an ally,_ I plead, looking into his eyes.  

After finding no hidden weapons, Fin looks at us, his body and eyes surprisingly calm for someone in the presence of an ‘in heat’ Omega.  

‘Can you smell Alex?’ I ask impatiently, concern fraying my nerves. Fin weighs up my question, changing the angle of his head several times before shaking it in answer. 

‘How about now?’ My life steps to within a metre of him. _This is the absolute danger zone._ He shakes his head again. Alex steps closer still, her nose practically touching his. ‘Now?’ My body surges with adrenaline, knowing most pullers would attempt to kiss this intoxicating goddess with her lips so temptingly close. 

Again he tests his senses before answering. ‘Nope.’ Alex looks into his eyes to be sure. She finds dilated, but not glazed pupils. _Is m_ _y_ _scent_ _working or is the_ _‘_ _gentle one'_ _just a person of conscience? No. I have a conscience but even I_ _bow to Alex’s scent._   

My life steps away from Fin, her arms crossed over her chest, her shoulders shuddering as excess adrenaline is released from Alex's tense muscles. ‘Thank you for coming Fin. You know why I’m testing y...’ 

‘Yes. You stink!’ Fin states with his usual charisma. Both Alex and I can’t help the smiles that stretch across our faces. _My scent works outside my domain._ _Fuck yes!_ I pull Alex to me for a crushing embrace. My life holds my body as tightly, our relief palpable.

‘Good,’ my life says in her deepest drawl, causing my clit to spark. _Don't_ _!_   

‘Don’t do that though, that thing with your voice,’ Fin suggests as he takes a step back. 

 

Fin’s Squad Car 

After wasting time debating who should be cuffed, we came to an uncomfortable decision that Alex would be so Fin and I could be free to protect her.  

Currently my life is in the back of Fin’s squad car, her wrists cuffed in front of her, her flaxen locks stuffed haphazardly inside a baseball cap with a scarf covering her most recent welts.  

My identity is questionably hidden behind a squad hat and sunglasses.  

I look in the rear view at my Alex, her eyes closed as she concentrates on her breathing. My palms itch to touch her, to comfort her but it’s an impossibility with the grate between us.  

As we turn the corner towards the precinct entrance, my heart leaps into my throat. _Shit!_ _C_ _ap wasn’t_ _exaggerating_ _. I_ _t really is a circus!_ The crowds of reporters and civilians are twenty deep as Fin slowly crawls to the entrance; his grip so tight around the steering wheel, his knuckles are near splitting with tension.  

Fin wasn’t recognisable in the upload so he exits the vehicle first. ‘Perp coming thru people. Move or I'll go all ape-shit on your asses.’ The crowd doesn’t move, the squad car having taken up all the remaining available space in the melee. _Fuck!_   

I swallow hard from the passenger seat, knowing our fears are about to be triggered to suffocating proportions. I somehow squeeze myself out of the vehicle and nudge my way to the back door. I quickly gaze at my life, my eyes requesting her permission to open it. _Not only is my Omega in mortal danger, her_ _wrists are cuffed leaving her_ _utterly_ _defenceless_ _._ _This is the worst fucking idea!_ Alexandra Cabot gives me a swift nod, her eyes pooling with anxiety and determination. 

I open the door slightly and grab at the ‘perp’, my chest constricting with ever rising panic as I push my life’s head down and begin manhandling her thru the crush. 

Fin appears in front of us, using his body to cut thru the crowds as we drive forward. When I feel a hand grope my butt, it takes everything for me not to turn and shoot the fucker to hell. We keep pressing forward, my weapon remaining unnervingly holstered. _We can’t_ _cause_ _a panic._  

‘Perp coming thru. Move! Get out of the fucking way!’ Fin yells as he tries his best to clear a path without physically shoving people aside.  

Only when my face nearly plants the door, do I realise Alex is ‘safely’ inside. I suddenly freeze as another hand mauls me. I turn sharply but before I can act, an arm wraps around my midriff and pulls me backwards into the precinct lobby. 

My breaths come in shuddering pants as I squeeze my rescuers wrist. ‘Thanks... Fin.’  

‘Don’t mention it,’ a strangers voice answers.  

I bat his arm away as I spin round to face him, shock, anger and anxiety radiating thru my frame. _How ca_ _n_ _a_ _strangers_ _touch_ _and good_ _nature be so_ _rep_ _ulse_ _?_  

‘Liv! Come on!’ I hear Fin call from five metres away, his body still shielding my life. _Alex!_ I instantly drop all thoughts of my rescuer as my body innately races to catch up with the two people who matter. 

 

Cragen's Office

Alex and I guzzle ice cold water offered to us by Cragen as we stand, with Fin, in his office, waiting for our reprimand. 

‘What the actual hell did you just pull Detectives?! And Miss Cabot, you’re supposedly in heat. What the...’. 

I’m in no mood to fight, no mood to argue as my body continues to tremble, anxiety tripping my frayed nerves. 

‘Captain, we're here. That’s all we should think about now,’ Alex states firmly, though I note a faint break in her voice.  

I gaze at my life partner, standing tall, elegant, her icy composure resolute. _Undeniably_ _statuesque_ _and_ _beautiful._ I straighten my back to match hers as I drop the plastic cup in the trash can. _Breathe. We got here!_ ‘Where’s the uploader?’  

‘This way,’ Cragen sighs, relenting as he leads us to Interrogation Room 1.  

 

Observation Room 1 

_He_ _does_ _seem_ _scared shitless,_ I muse as we observe him thru the one way mirror. He’s restrained, his wrists cuffed to the table, his eyes scanning every inch of the room constantly.  

I watch Alex’s features as she evaluates him. Confusion and dampened anxiety shine in her eyes momentarily as she lifts her head to look at me. _Surely this can’t be worse than the triggering crush we’ve just experienced?_ Her orbs silently question mine. I gaze back with as much... 

‘Does he have representation?’ Alex asks, shattering our moment so as not to embarrass me in front of my ‘family’. 

‘The only other thing he said: he’s waivered his Miranda,' Fin answers with a smirk. 

‘Right then,’ my life acknowledges as she takes a steadying breath. Alex rakes her fingers thru her now loose hair before she nudges her glasses up her nose. _Those glasses_. I inhale deeply. Cragen can only nod, seemingly as entranced, as my life grips the door handle into the interrogation room.  

She turns to me, her eyes burning with a need for my approval that this is the right thing to do. My mind screams ‘no’ whilst my head slowly gives her an affirming nod. _I love you_ , my eyes openly convey, not caring that Fin and Cragen are present and watching with barely concealed interest.  

As soon as my nails cut into my palms, I realise it’s been a while since I’ve needed this coping strategy to refrain from losing control. I dig them in deeper as I observe my life walking confidently towards the seat opposite the uploader, her body language conveying her absolute control over proceedings.  

'I hear you waivered your rights?' Alex clarifies immediately.

‘You don’t smell like one,’ he says as soon as Alex sits down. She doesn’t bite. Instead, my life stares at him with a cool indifference, only her shallow breathing giving her away. The uploader seems surprised by her silence, probably having expected Alex to be frightened, angry, perhaps both.  

The silence stretches for what feels like an eternity as they survey each other. _He_ _isn’t behaving like_ _he wants to dominate her. He_ _isn't_ _even meeting her gaze._ ‘Please tell me you’re an underling?’ he speaks up again.  

When Alex leans her arms on the table, he flinches. _What the fuck?!_ ‘Have you waivered your rights?' My life repeats as she waits for his response. Alex stares him down with her icy gaze until he eventually nods his head. _Stop playing games you fucker!_ 'Okay, what's an underling?’ my life finally asks. I watch her body noticeably relax, her breathing levelling out. _He’s afraid of her._ _A_ _lex!_ My mind screams, wanting her to remain guarded.  

'Someone who is fucked by everybody else.’ My mouth goes dry. 

‘What do you mean?’ Alex doesn't let her surprise show. 

‘Please tell me you're one or I’m truly... Help me!’ the uploader states frantically as he finally meets Alex’s gaze.  

Dawning twists my gut, as I watch my life frown slightly. ‘Maybe you should have thought of that before you filmed and uploaded the...’ Alex stops herself, taking a calming breath as she bites her lip. _Breathe_. ‘Why is it so important for me to be an underling?’ she changes tack, surprised at the direction this conversation is taking. 

‘Because it’s why I did it. Did what I did.’ Alex just looks at him, her face purposefully void of emotion. ‘There’s only three reasons why that crush would happen: some fans suddenly attacking a superstar like what happened to Pamela Anderson that time. Then I remembered that reporter in Egypt, was it? The one who was...’  

'Get to your point!’ Alex interrupts him, wishing to avoid the details of a similar assault. 

‘Okay, well you aren’t a superstar or a white woman in a culturally different country so when I saw what was happening, I started filming, to show the world that this happens. That we do... happen and shouldn’t have to take this shit!’ Alex can’t stop her mouth from dropping open at this man’s disclosure. She looks at the one way mirror, somehow staring into my soul even though she can’t see me. _My life, be careful._  

‘You’re saying you’re an underling?’ Alex asks as she clears her throat. He nods his head vigorously. ‘Tell me why I should believe you?' she counters, not wanting to disclose anything herself. 

'Can't you smell it? Me?' Alex's gaze stays resolutely icy and non committal. 'Okay...' the uploader whispers nervously at my life's lack of response. 'When I reached puberty...’  

 

… I don’t need to hear more. My head whips round to my Captain who looks at me with the same comprehension in his eyes.  

‘We didn’t notice because Munch, Fin and I aren’t gay. None of the male custody staff are either,’ Cragen states out loud. 

‘What about the female officers and staff?’ Fin picks up the Caps phone and dials Munch.  

 

‘Do you know any other Ome... underlings?’ Alex asks astutely.  

‘No, every one I’ve ever known has died. I’ve been alone a long time,’ he answers emotionally, his shoulders shaking slightly.  

‘You have my genuine sympathies. But if I may, how were you able to get so close if you're so vulnerable?’ Alex negotiates the minefield of this conversation whilst restraining her anger flawlessly. _I’m in awe of my Omega._  

‘Because they were after you. Straight men and lesbian women. I wasn’t on the menu,’ he says insensitively. My hackles rise at his words as I watch my life hide a hand under the table, probably to stop herself from slapping him.  

‘If you felt relatively safe, why didn’t you help us, me?’ Alex finally asks, her voice steady but I know her hand is currently clasping the table leg with a vice like grip.  

‘How? There were loads of people. I didn’t have a knife or... to... I thought by filming it, it would out our suf...’ He stops to collect himself as Alex stands and begins pacing the furthest side of the table, her arms crossed protectively over her abdomen.  

‘Well it outed mine and Detective Benson’s suffering,’ my life states forcefully, as she glances at me thru the one way mirror once more. ‘Instead of handing the footage in to aide any potential investigation, you thought YouTube would be the best place to upload it? For everyone to see whilst you remain perfectly anonymous? Right?’ Alex glares at him as he shakes in his seat. ‘You outed and humiliated us. Not only have you filmed criminal acts and made yourself complicit by doing so, you have violated our privacy, both mentally and physically, leaving us open to further abuse, disrespect, harassment and ridicule. Anyone who has seen it will view us as sexual objects first, human beings with rights second.’ I lower my head in shame as I force myself to listen to Alex putting into words, the feelings, the impact of this man's actions on us, on me. I blanch, feeling my Captain’s and Fin’s eyes on me. ‘Our careers, our lives are at stake here, underling...’ 

‘As is mine, daily! I'm pleased Detective Benson’s suffering. She deserves it!’ he spits as he curls his body protectively.  

Alex freezes at this. ‘Excuse me?’ 

For the first time, the uploader looks the more confident of the two, his back straightens and his head faces forward, faces Alex. ‘Two years ago, I reported being raped by three women. I asked Detective Benson, amongst others, for help. My case went to court but we lost and I was dropped to be brutalized over and over again.’ _Fuck!_ I suddenly recognise the back of his head, remember his case: _Peter Smith, the gang rape victim who complained he was treated like dirt by us cops._ My stomach abruptly drops to the floor as my vision blurs. 

‘Now we get to the crux of it. This was payback. Detective Benson provided the evidence to get your case to court. She did her fucking job!' Alex finally loses her composure. My heart surges at the magnificence of my life partner. 'Forget you and your life for a second. You weren’t the one with a camera stuffed in your face as your body was being abused by tens of hands, tongues and teeth,’ Alex takes a shuddering breath. 'I'm sorry for all you’ve been thru. Trust me, I know better than most. All I ever wanted was to find other Omegas, underlings, but never did I think the one I’d eventually find would be such a pathetically, vindictive, self-serving prick!’ Alex storms out of the interrogation and side steps my waiting arms as she fleas the observation room. _Fuck!_


	30. Withdrawal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Olivia talk.  
> Can they escape the precinct without incident?
> 
> Rating: Mature Content

‘Lex?’ I call softly as I open the door to the ladies toilets. I scan the stalls, thanking fates the others are empty as I reach the penultimate one. I hear heavy breaths and sniffs from within. I tap gently. ‘Lex, it’s me.’ I hear a sharp intake. ‘It's Liv,’ I say to reassure her, knowing survivors in heightened states of anxiety can find it difficult, even impossible to take in what is being said. ‘Can I come in?’ I wait for any sign of acknowledgement as I lean my head against the stall door.  

I suddenly hear the door lock click. I slowly push it open to find my life crumpled against the side of the stall, a hand scrunched in her hair, her elbow leaning against the seat, her face a picture of tortured despair as she looks up at me. My heart stutters as my soul implodes.  

I lower myself to my knees and shuffle forward, careful not to touch her, until I’m able to close the stall door behind us.  

I watch as Alex’s tears continue to fall, her iridescent eyes closing as her emotions engulf her. Every fibre of my being wants to touch her, to hold her but I know not to further encroach on my life's boundaries. ‘Please Liv, hold me,’ she whispers so brokenly, my lungs seize.  

I fold Alex’s body into mine as she allows her exhausted emotions free rein.  

I don’t know how long we remain this way but I feel the first whispers of hope seep into my body as my life nuzzles her cheek deeper into the crook of my neck.  

‘I’m so sorry Liv,’ my Omega whispers into my skin. I stay silent, wanting to give my life the space, time and respect to talk to me. I caress her cheek, which she nudges further into my palm as she whimpers in despair, making my blood run cold. ‘I was blinded thinking this case would change my life, change my existence: ‘Stand up for the victims, the Omegas. Draw them out and make a merry band of world changing survivors,’ whilst putting three strays where they belong,’ my life breathes, sniffling into my shirt. ‘What a messed-up fantasy that is!’ I feel her shake her head against my chest as she scolds herself. ‘I put you, Fin, myself at risk for a fucked up, narrow minded idiot! Now we need to get out of here without being brutalized again,’ Alex shivers violently as I try to warm her. ‘I can’t survive anything else happening to you,’ she forces out thru gritted teeth as my free hand strokes her jaw. 

‘Join the frigging club Lex!’ I stress as gently as I can as I feel her body completely relax into mine. ‘We need to get you home,’ I try as I wait for Alex’s signal. When she doesn’t move, I wrap my arms more tightly around her. ‘My love, I think we need to go see Dr Huang again or have a Skype session or something,’ I wait again, evaluating Alex’s reaction. When her form remains relaxed, I grow bolder. ‘I think our relationship is hard enough without us not communicating. I think we need help understanding our bodies, our urges but also the importance of talking things thru. Running away...’ 

‘I know,’ Alex concedes softly as she strokes my cheekbone. ‘I'm sorry. I lost control in there. I was mortified, angry, disappointed in him, in myself, in _you_.’ I glance down to find my life looking at me. ‘I know you did your job but how could you all miss the fact he’s an Omega and did you not give him any support, any advice following the trial?’ 

‘The first person to have this effect on me is you. I remember Novak being a little... well... Novak. But no one else seemed to have any reaction whatsoever so it never registered. And of course I gave him a list of reputable crisis counsellors and a safety plan but that was where our involvement ended as we caught our next case. Surely you understand that Lex?’ I ask, my heart racing as I watch my life’s cloudy blues darken.  

‘I’m terrified you’ll drop me once this case is over.’ I freeze, expecting almost anything but not that. _Never that._ Before I can respond, my life, my reason for living continues. ‘Throughout my life, I’ve been raped, then discarded, then raped again in a vicious cycle of abuse and neglect. As soon as my abuser's bodies are depleted of the necessary minerals to function, they leave or collapse, whichever comes first.’ Alex pauses briefly. ‘Something else only you can do: stopping before you harm yourself... well... sort of... My abusers reenergise themselves then they come back for more. They _always_ come back. My scent, my touch is addictive,’ Alex shudders as her words brand my soul. _Jesus!_ ‘I can’t quite believe that you, a pull person, have sacrificed so much for me. I’m waiting for that moment when either you snap, leave or both. I’m terrified my hormones are going to destroy this, us,’ my Omega finally confesses as she melts into me. My chest constricts painfully as Alex’s words wound my heart. Tears now race down my cheeks as I realise my life’s inner most fear. I’m completely crushed by this completely understandable but soul-destroying honesty. 

‘I’ll admit I didn’t like who I became when I dominated you. Even though you say I didn’t hurt you, I didn’t like that I bit you. I snapped and I couldn’t... control my need for release at your expense. I...’ 

‘Olivia,’ my life whispers, causing ripples of desire to radiate thru my crotch. I immediately let go of her body and move to stand up, away from her unintentional intoxication. ‘ _Please_ ,’ Alex begs desperately as she grabs for my hand. My heart freezes at the sheer despair in my life partners eyes at the thought of losing me.  

‘Lex, I’m not going anywhere, okay? _Ever_. How can I?’ I reassure her, causing the anxiety in her eyes to fade slightly. ‘But, I don’t think we should be intimate again until I can gain a better handle on my desires. Especially whilst you are in heat. _Especially_ when we're... I'm angry. I can’t risk hurting you,’ I state with certainty as I watch my life’s features. 

‘Liv... I want you as much as you want me. I'm an Omega. I want, _need_ you to dominate me,’ Alex clarifies once more as her breathing hitches. ‘I _need_ you,’ my life whispers as tears flow freely down her beautiful face. The pain spread across my life’s stunning features nearly shatters me. 

‘And I need you, _so_ _damn_ _much_. That’s why I can’t, we can't until...’ 

‘Liv?’ A male voice jolts us out of our reverie.  

‘Fin?’ I call out. 

‘Sorry but the crowds are gettin’ worse. I think we better leave,’ the voice of reason returns our attention to the immediate problem at hand. 

I stare into my life’s eyes as she stands. ‘I love you Lex. I'm not going anywhere, _ever_ ,’ I affirm gently. 

‘I love you Liv. We _will_ continue this later,’ she whispers as she cradles my face and nuzzles my cheek for a blissful moment before she opens the stall door. 

Fin had thoughtfully vacated the ladies, allowing us several minutes to wash our faces and refresh ourselves in private. ‘Don’t wash yourself too much Alex,’ I state practically, knowing every droplet is washing away my scent. My life stops and looks at me quizzically. ‘What’s going on in that...’ 

‘Can we swap underwear quickly?’ she requests sheepishly. ‘They'll have your strongest scent,’ my Omega explains as dawning hits my dulled brain. I quickly turn to the stalls. 

-+-+-+-+-+ 

‘Come on you two,’ Fin says with a raised eyebrow, getting a whiff of Alex as she passes.  

‘Not what you think Detective,’ I say to bring him in line, not in the mood for his antics.  

Fin immediately acquiesces. ‘Cap said the crowds are too dense out front so we'll have to go out back.' 

‘There’s a back door?! Why the _hell_ did we come in the front earlier?’ Alex demands, understandably shocked. 

‘Because the crowd was almost as dense and there’s no way of getting a vehicle back there for easy protection.’  

Alex looks at me in alarm. ‘So how has this suddenly become a more attractive alternative?’  

‘How are you with motorbikes?’ I ask, wishing to alleviate the anxiety in Alex’s eyes but also knowing I’ll never be able to completely eradicate it.  

‘Slightly too open air for my liking but fine,’ my life replies as we begin walking. 

‘There’s no way we're cuffing you again. My heart nearly gave out so I can only imagine how you...’ I stop, knowing this is too personal in front of Fin, even though he has seen us at our most vulnerable. The relief I feel radiating off my Omega is palpable. _I will n_ _ever make any rash decisions_ _,_ _thru anger_ _,_ _where my Alex is concerned_ _, ever again_ _. I can't afford to._  

‘We’ll need to push thru to the bikes, about 30 metres left of that door,’ Fin points to a door now within our sights. ‘When we get to the bikes, you and Liv get on one whilst I distract the mob,’ Fin instructs as we approach the exit. 

Alex stops in front of it. ‘Why are you so good to us? To me?’ she asks, her cloudy blue eyes gazing at the ‘gentle one’ in awe. 

‘I know what it’s like being different. To be discriminated, judged, beaten up, shot for something outside my control. I _know_ as far as I can, Alex,’ he says with rare emotion in his eyes. Fin clears his throat as I swallow hard. ‘Right, as I say, 30 metres to the left, keys already in the ignition. Liv is a seasoned rider,’ Alex can’t help but give me a look that makes my entire body tingle. ‘All you have to do is run, hop on and go. Okay?’  

‘Okay.’ I know my life wants to show some sign of appreciation but thinks better of it, sensing beyond her own heat that Fin doesn’t like being touched. ‘Thank you Fin,’ she says instead, her own voice breaking. Fin gives my life a tight nod as he breathes deeply.  

‘If anything happens, don’t think. Just get to the bike. Nothing else matters,’ I add quickly, before Fin opens the exit door. 

The crowd isn’t as dense but it still takes very calculated movements to ensure Alex is both protected and remains untouched.  

‘Hey, that’s that cop from the video! Olivia? Olivia Benson!!’ I suddenly realise in our haste to leave, I forgot to replace my questionable disguise. _Fuck!_  

‘Go!’ I bellow over the near instant din as I’m quickly surrounded. My life freezes, her eyes staring into my soul, her mind screaming to stay with me whilst her every nerve ending claws at her to flee. ‘Go!’ I mouth forcefully.  

Only when Fin shouts ‘Teflon!’ does my Alex tear her eyes away from mine and run. My gaze never leaves my life’s form as she and the ‘gentle one’ miraculously find some space and run to the nearest bike. Only as I hear the screech of tyre treads do I allow the anxiety of being boxed in engulf me. _My_ _..._ _life..._  

-+-+-+-+-+ 

I flutter my eyes, squinting in the blinding light. It takes several moments for me to quantify my surroundings. I’m laid in a precinct bunk, a blanket up to my shoulders and an ice pack next to my head. I move to sit up. ‘Alex...’ I mutter as the room spins. I feel a hand push me back into the bunk. 

‘Shhh.... easy Olivia. Detective Fin got Alex safely back to her apartment.’ I can’t place the voice at first but it is so frustratingly familiar. _Alex?_ _Safe?_ I try to open my eyes again, relief flooding me when the room stops spinning. _Huang_.  

A tear runs down my cheek as I try to form the necessary words. ‘I... need to... Alex’s voice.’  

I hear movement as Huang leaves the room. 

 

‘Liv?’ _Cap_. ‘Liv, can you hear me?’ I nod my swimming head slowly. _Fuck it hurts!_ ‘I’m calling Miss Cabot now. Don't talk, just listen to her voice okay?’ I hear buttons being pressed before... ‘Miss Cabot, Liv needs to hear your voice but she... of course.’  

I feel the cell press against my ear and use every last ounce of my strength to focus on the most beautiful voice in this world. ‘My love, are you okay?’ _My life!_ ‘Liv, I'm home, Fin got me home. I’m safe in my apartment. Fin is in the penthouse hallway for now. He won’t stay in here. I’m safe.’ Tears sting my eyes as relief envelopes me. _My life is safe_. ‘Liv, please. I’m worried...’  

‘Miss Cabot, Liv is safe. The mob didn’t touch her. She is currently in the precinct dorm room with myself and Dr Huang. I think she's exhausted but trust me, she’s in good hands... sure... Miss Cabot wants to talk to you Doc.’ 

‘Miss Cabot... Alex... uhuh... yes. I believe Olivia is experiencing something akin to cold turkey. When was the last time you were apart? Hmmm... that would explain this. You see your body is like heroin... oh how silly of me... yes... Are you in he..? Right... How are you currently feeling physically?’ 

Everything goes dark once more.  

 

I wake again and immediately feel something in my arm. I open my eyes abruptly, my body instantly alert, to find an IV taped to me.  

‘Detective. Olivia, how are you feeling?’ _Huang_. 

‘Like a slightly better version of myself from earlier. Why the hell does my head feel like it’s been hit by a freight train?’ I ask as I cautiously rub an eye. 

‘Because your body is hooked on your Omega's scent. You’re currently in the throes of cold turkey, made worse by your dehydration. When was the last time you drank something?’ _L_ _ex_ _..._  

‘Alex?’ my body immediately infuses with adrenaline as I attempt to sit up. 

‘Lay back Olivia! Alex isn't leaving her apartment until the case now. She is safe. Fin remains a door away from her. Okay?’ I look at this somehow calming person before I nod my head, instantly regretting it. ‘No sharp movements Olivia. Just let the IV work its magic safe in the knowledge that your Omega is home. I’ll come back in...’ 

 

I open my less heavy lids to see Huang above me, checking the IV, his soft eyes focused on his work. He looks down at me. ‘Mind if I moisten you lips and mouth?’ I nod my head slightly as he drips some liquid from a soaked cloth into my mouth. _It feels so good_ _._ He then applies vaseline to my chapped lips. ‘When was the last time you drank or ate something?’ 

‘I don’t know,’ I answer honestly as I glance at the near empty IV. ‘Am I okay to sit up now?’ I ask, having never been a good patient.  

Huang nods his head. ‘Go easy though alright? Am I okay to touch you if you grow faint?’ I gaze at him, appreciating his understanding. 

‘Yes.' I slowly sit myself up and lean forward, with no wall to lean back against. The world stays on its axis and my stomach doesn’t revolt. _Progress_. ‘Not wishing to sound ungrateful but why are you here? The precinct has a physician.’ 

‘Don thought I may be useful to you, both physically and emotionally,’ Huang says softly as he sits on the bunk across from me.  

A lone tear revolts against my wishes and rolls down my cheek. I bit my lip to stem my emotions as I suddenly find myself unable to speak. 

‘Let yourself go Detective. You need to,’ he cajoles, giving me all the permission I need to let my soul dissolve in a tsunami of imminent devastation. 


	31. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia and Huang talk.  
> Olivia makes a phone call.  
> Huang profiles a detainee.
> 
> Rating:Mature Content

_‘Alex!’_ I shout myself awake, my body surging with adrenaline and dripping with sweat as I attempt to ground myself. _Bunk_ _..._ _dorm_ _room_ _..._ _p_ _recinct_... My breaths come thick and fast, my chest seizes and my body trembles thru waves of panic. _Bunk_ _.._ _._ _p_ _recinct._ _.._  

I sit up and lower my head between my legs as I try to erase the intolerable images seared into my minds eye. _B_ _reathe Liv_ _._ _.._ _It wasn’t real._ _.._ _Breathe._ _Alex is safe_ _... at_ _home and you’re_ _... sat on a bunk..._ _at the precinct._  

I lean to the side thinking I’m going to be sick. I dry heave. _Fuck!_  

I've had nightmares before, many of them. But none quite like this. _Jesus Alex!_ My absolute fear of being utterly helpless to protect my life haunts my dreams. My terror of hurting my Omega... 

I stand slowly, using the wall for purchase, aware that my new constant companion is lying in the bunk next to mine, his eyes staring up at me. 

‘Want to talk about it?’ He asks as he sits himself up. 

‘Er...’ 

‘You don’t have to Olivia but the more you hold up, the greater the fall,’ he states realistically as I glare at him. 

‘I’m already falling,’ I confess more to myself, knowing Huang is already completely aware of this. I look at him again, more softly this time as I rub my eyes, belatedly realising I’m no longer hooked up to the IV. ‘We were... Alex and I... we were in the courtroom. Alex was about to cross examine one of her... rapists... and all the pull people just... they just..,’ I struggle to verbalize the heinous images. Huang waits patiently. ‘They pinned her and they forced me to watch... I couldn’t move... help... do anything...’ I retch again, unable to curtail the revulsion coursing thru my veins. ‘I was completely powerless. They... they.. fucking Christ!’ I seethe as I step away from the wall, momentarily forgetting my bodies weakened state. I fall haphazardly onto the bunk. ‘Fuck!’ I shout aggressively, hating my weakness, my uselessness. ‘The thought of my life being abused, let alone abused again..!’ I near scream as I turn myself over roughly to face Huang. ‘After they'd... they made me... and... I... _Jesus!_ What kind of fucked up Alpha does that make me?’ I admit, beyond disgusted with myself as my stomach lurches again. 

Huang stares at me for a long moment. My heart batters my ribcage as I wait for his assessment. ‘Your night terrors are partially fed by your withdrawal,’ he assures me as I try to still my trembling limbs. ‘The nightmare is just that, and so not your reality. But it tells me three things: firstly, your core fear of Alex being harmed and with her court case coming up, is it any wonder your mind placed the assault there?’ I shake my head numbly. ‘I’d be shocked if this wasn’t your primary concern. It just shows how much you care for her...’ 

‘Then why would I dream of rapi...’ 

‘Because that’s another genuinely understandable fear. Being her Alpha, you know you can overpower her, take her at anytime. Yours and Alex's genes are engineered that way.’ He thinks for a moment. ‘Are you intimate?’ I’m surprised by Huang’s direct question. I lick my lips nervously. Huang nods his head, not waiting for a verbal answer. ‘I’m assuming you haven’t been whilst Alex is in heat?’ I stay silent, a flush creeping up my neck. Quiet alarm pools in Huang’s eyes. ‘How did it go?’ he asks, his voice remaining even. 

‘I bit her. I made her bleed and... it was rough... I was too rough,’ I admit as I hide my eyes behind my hands. _Shit! What must he think of me?_  

‘You made her bleed?’ Huang enquires calmly. 

‘Her neck,’ I clarify. ‘God! Not...’ I lower my hands and glance at him, surprised to find understanding in his black orbs.  

‘Did Alex think so? Too rough I mean,’ Huang’s question completely blindsides me.  

‘Alex said I didn't hurt her. Said she needs to be dominated. That she wants me as much as I want her.’ Relaying these words makes me hear them for the first time. 

‘And do you wish to dominate?’  

‘Yes,’ I breathe between clenched teeth, my clit throbbing at the thought. ‘How do you make this feel like a normal conversation?’ I ask, in awe of his ease. 

‘This will have to become normal conversation if you wish your relationship to survive and flourish,’ Huang answers plainly. I inhale deeply. ‘How long have you known Alex?’ Another question I wasn’t expecting. 

‘6 weeks but it feels like forever,’ I say, embarrassed, knowing I sound like a love struck teenager.  

‘Two things here: have you ever known Alex to lie? And what do you think has caused your feelings to be so powerful, so quickly?’ I cock my head to the side, knowing where the first question is going but wary of the second. 

‘No. She may have held somethings back thru fear of judgement but Alex has never lied to me,’ I state with certainty. 

‘How do you know for sure?’ Huang presses. 

‘Because I can smell and taste Alex's scent, her perspiration. People sweat when they lie,’ I answer quietly. 

‘And the second...’ 

‘I feel I'm two pieces now: my animal body and my human mind. My body fell for Alex on the spot. My human mind is playing catch up. I love her but logically, I hardly know her beyond this case. But my body just _knows_. Does that make sense?’ I ask him, needing affirmation. 

‘Yes it does. You’re no longer in a strictly logical world. You’ve met someone who triggers and feeds you inner animal. You fear you're working on instinct alone rather than logic and that terrifies you.’ 

I nod my head vigorously, relieved my cranium doesn't feel as fragile as before. ‘I’m terrified my instincts will override any conscious thought.’ 

‘But we’re having this conversation. This alone shows your logical mind is engaged,’ Huang argues, using his hands to deepen the point. 

‘But Alex's scent isn't currently driving my actions.’ My body feels utterly exhausted and regular. My core aches for her stimulus. 

‘You don’t strike me as the type to let anyone drive your actions, even your highly intoxicating Omega. And I’ve observed your behaviour when you're with Alex. In the waiting room, you defended her against a possible assailant. In my office, you stopped yourself taking her when your Omega said no. The uploa...’ 

‘I fear losing, or worse, _finding_ myself...’  

‘Your father?’ Huang asks intuitively. 

‘How..? My file?’ He nods. 

‘As soon as you and Alex became my patients, I had legal access to your personal file. I should have asked. I’m sorry.’  

Instead of feeling angry, relief floods me that I don’t need to explain every little detail for this man’s understanding. ‘Yes, you should have but I know I missed several of your phone calls so...’ 

‘Closer to 30,’ Huang admits with a smile. 

‘We fascinate you don’t we?’ I ask rhetorically, knowing. 

‘I’ve never met an Alpha so willing to torture herself or an Omega so willing to put herself at such great risk, for love,’ Huang gives me a curious look. ‘Trust what Alex says and follow her lead. A strange suggestion for an Alpha but if anyone knows more about consent than you, it’s your Omega. Allow her to lead you where you both need to go; to be,’ he says quizzically. 

‘Where do we need to be?’ I question intently. 

‘Together, _truly_ together,’ Huang’s response is simple. _Together_. He waits a beat, wishing for my cue on where to take the conversation. When I lower my eyes in thought, he speaks again. ‘The third thing your nightmare tells me: your fears surrounding Alex's case and everyone in it, including yourself.’ I swallow thickly, wishing he wasn’t quite so adept at getting inside my head. ‘How is the prep going?’  

‘To be honest, Alex is the lead on that. I have no idea what to expect beyond the facts: DNA, a historic first victim, the witness who found her, the fingerprints on the stakes, retrieval of the rope and the defences attempt at an insulting deal,’ I list briefly, realising how out of the loop I am. 

‘How about the upload?’ Huang asks. 

‘The defence filed a motion to suppress it. I don’t know what angle Alex will take,’ I reply as I stroke my arm; a subconscious, comforting gesture. I watch Huang notice. 

‘Surely you have a say too?’ he offers empathetically. 

‘Hmmm.’ 

‘Do you think it might help or hinder the case?’ 

‘Let's put it this way, I strongly believe the uploader will hinder it. Possibly fuck it up completely,’ I state angrily as I stand once more  

‘Careful Olivia!’ Huang admonishes as he holds out a hand in case I collapse again. ‘The uploader? You apprehended him?’  

‘We did. What time is it? He may have already been release...’ 

‘I think ‘What day is it?’ is more accurate,’ Huang states, alarmingly. My blood freezes. 

‘What?’  

‘It’s...’ Huang looks at his watch. ‘It's 4am. Thursday morning. We’ve been in lock down since you were recognised,’ Huang explains as my mouth hangs open in shock. _Thursday_ _?_  

‘I need to call A...’ 

‘You talked to her yesterday evening. I’m assuming you don't remember. I’ve called Alex each night to keep her updated on your status. You’ve been withdrawing for over 60 hours.’ My heart thunders in my chest. ‘Your Omega is vigorously prepping for her case in the safety of her apartment,’ Huang reassures me quickly, knowing exactly where my thoughts are going.  

‘I need to call her. Right now!’ I demand, slamming my hand against the wall.  

‘Okay.’ Huang points to my cell, on the floor beside the bunk. I grab it and dial my life partner's number. My palms moisten and my lungs pummel my rib cage. 

Alex picks up on the second ring. ‘George?’ _George?_  

‘Who's George?’ I sigh with soul shattering relief on hearing my Omega’s deep velvet tones.  

‘ _Liv_!?’ My body surges with adrenaline as I listen to Alex's shallow breaths. _My life is breathing._ _She’s alive._ _She’s talking to me..._  

‘Hi,’ I breathe pathetically, utterly aware that I’m giddy with excitement and relief. ‘Are you ok..?’ 

‘It’s been _so_ long since I've heard your voice... well... coherently anyway,’ Alex says with a smile in her tone. 

I turn to Huang. _George_. ‘You didn't..?’ 

He shrugs his shoulders innocently. ‘It was the only way I could get her off the phone,’ he insists as he backs away to give us some privacy. My body shivers at the meaning behind his words. 

‘Really, Lex?’ Alex's rare and priceless laugh titters down the line, making my heart soar and my skin tingle.  

‘Its the only way I could be sure you were alive.’ 

‘What was I babbling?’ I ask, suddenly nervous. 

‘Oh nothing too onerous. Just how much you love me and how you’d die, kill for me and...’ 

‘Alright,’ I interrupt her gloating as embarrassment flushes my cheeks. ‘You know I was in the throes of withdrawal so whatever I said doesn’t count,’ I tease easily, realising Alex and I haven’t shared such a light moment... ever. 

‘Oh okay, so you're disputing what you said as the withdrawal talking?’ Alex plays along, her flirty dulcet tones igniting my arousal. 

‘Yup.’ 

‘So how about _all_ the other times you've said you love me?’ My life counters. 

‘Complete and utter lies,’ I argue, feigning seriousness. 

‘Well, if I were to say I’ve missed you more than my virginity...’ I can’t help but laugh at her terrible choice of argument. ‘... and that I love you more than life itself, would you not feel the least bit similar?’ My body melts in a pool of searing heat. _Jesus Alex!_  

‘Nope. I would say I’ve not had the opportunity to miss you, with my hazy junkie withdrawal and all...’ I hear Alex gasp dramatically ‘...but now that I’m speaking to you, I feel as though consciousness has returned to me and my axis has stabilized. You are my everything Lex. I love you...’ 

We broach me coming home. After a heated debate, Alex convinces me it’s best to stay put until I fully recover. _She needs me next week._ My life also argues she'd rather not have any distractions during the final stages of her prep knowing her heat would derail the both of us. Only when I begin to feel dizzy do I begrudgingly end the call. _My life._  

Huang returns just in time to see the widest grin my face can handle without tearing itself apart. ‘Better?’ 

‘Better,’ I agree as I try to stand without using the wall. 

 

Several hours later 

Huang is sat opposite the uploader, who is now uncuffed due to the period of arrest being long surpassed, as Cragen and I observe thru the one way mirror.  

‘How come you called on Huang?’ I ask the Captain as we watch their interaction. 

‘Because I trust him. Okay, it helped he was already in the building profiling another case. But...’ 

‘Surely the precinct physician..?’ 

‘You deserve the best Liv,’ Cragen glances sideways, meeting my gaze. I squeeze his arm gently as his soft eyes smile into mine. He clears his throat before we focus our attention on the interrogation room. 

‘... am I still here? This goes against my human rights.’ My gut seethes. _Human rights!_  

‘Would you like to be identified as the uploader of that heinous video?’ Huang gets straight to the point as he stands and walks round the room. 

‘No,’ Peter admits, his shoulders sagging. ‘Please don’t touch me!’ _He knows Huang’s gay._ _Good!_  

‘Okay. Tell me how you survived your court case without being hurt?’ Huang asks in a gentler tone, not wishing to completely ostracize this Omega as he continues walking around him. _Clever._  

‘Being a male underling is different to being female. We don’t go into heat, we only get found out by touch.’ _Shit!_ _Alex._ ‘My sister went into heat every month. She died when I was 13,’ he discloses, his chest hitching with emotion. After several moments he continues. ‘I know why you’re talking to me. You’re trying to figure out how to keep that blonde underling safe if this goes to trial.’ Huang gives nothing away, his features remaining unreadable. ‘Of course it is,’ Peter concludes smugly. ‘And I don't blame you. Jesus! One of the hottest underlings I’ve _ever_ seen. If I was a...’ _Fucking shut him up!_ Huang stops right behind him, causing the underling to suddenly quake in fear. His confidence of moments ago in tatters. ‘Okay, what do you want?’  

‘Do you know a way of lessening or even curing her condition?’ Huang walks back round to face him. 

‘Its my curse too you know? And maybe she doesn’t want to be cured. Maybe she likes it...’ I attempt to swallow the bile searing my throat as my patience ebbs. Huang suddenly slams both hands down on the table right in front of Peter. The underling jolts backwards, almost falling off his chair. ‘This is intimidation!’ he screams as he stands.  

‘Answer the question,’ Huang states firmly in a tone I didn’t think him capable. The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. _Is he an Alpha?_  

Peter looks ready to piss himself as he glances towards the door, his fear palpable. ‘Okay,’ he relents as he circles the table in time with Huang, trying to keep his distance. Huang stops pacing and gestures to Peter to sit down. 

‘Sit.’ He does. ‘Talk.’ 

‘The only thing I've heard that may work is if an underling finds a ‘safe’ overprem,’ Peter offers as he avoids Huang’s eyes. ‘As if there's such a thing?!’ 

‘An overprem? Are they like Alphas?’ Huang asks for clarification as Peter  glances in his direction. 

‘Yes.’ The underling lowers his eyes submissively. 

‘So what would an Alpha have to do to protect Alex?’ Huang questions softly. 

‘Bear in mind I only heard this, but the overprem's scent has to cover the underling. There’s only one sure fire way of doing that... Hold on, that slut isn’t actually _with_ the Detective is she?’ Peter goes to stand again. My insides clench as I dig my nails into my palms. _Slut!?_  

‘Sit. Down.’ He does. ‘That’s not a permanent solution,’ Huang says slowly, his exasperation clear. 

‘Other underlings can help. If an underling is warped enough to find a ‘safe’ overprem... Alpha, being around other underlings should kick start the change.’ 

‘The change?’ Both Cragen and I subconsciously lean into the window. 

‘I want a deal,’ Peter finally clams up. _Shit._ He turns in his chair to stare at the one way mirror. His mouth lifts in a sickening smirk as he spits in our direction. ‘I don’t think your Omega will survive the trial. Not nice the thought of losing someone you lust after, huh Detective?’ I clench my fists as my body begins to sway, my senses wavering as darkness threatens. _Breathe_. 

A sudden surge of adrenaline courses thru me. My limbs move of their own volition as I push past Cragen and force the door to the interrogation room. Huang jumps up in alarm as I race towards the underling. Just as my fists are about to connect with Peter’s face, the doc throws his body between us, calling my name repeatedly. ‘Olivia! Olivia, don’t do this! It’s what he wants: to keep himself as the perpetual victim and you as the perp. Please!’  

‘Liv!’ Cragen bellows as he restrains me in an arm lock, forcing my head to make contact with the table. I hear Peter cackling as I’m manhandled out of the room. 

I wrestle myself free, my chest panting and my vision narrowing as I try to grasp control of something, _anything_ _!_ ‘We need a pl...’ I shout in the silent room. 

The last thing I remember: the moisture in Cragen’s gentle eyes as darkness propels me to the floor.  


	32. Contact

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia makes contact with several key players.
> 
> Rating: Mature Content
> 
> Small important edit

I'm suddenly aware I’m awake, conscious, breathing. I keep my eyes closed a moment as I conduct a full body itinerary. _Another needle in my arm: IV. Forehead aches: where head met table._ I’m surprised to find no other injuries or foreign objects of note.

I risk opening my eyes. I squint at the dim light as I sit up and swing my legs over the side of the bunk. I rub my orbs carefully as I watch Huang twitch in sleep. _He’s nothing if not loyal_ , I think wryly comparing him to a guard dog, loyal with a capacity for savagery, when necessary.

My dulled mind suddenly remembers the encounter with Peter before I lost consciousness. A seething knot of disgusted rage scorches my heart as I wonder _how Alex can be such a well-rounded, caring individual considering all she has been thru whilst he is such a vindictive, self-serving piece of shit!_

I stand hesitantly, looking at the empty IV before pulling the catheter out of my arm. I pick up my cell and walk into the adjacent room so as not to wake Huang.

'Hi,’ I hear my life sigh tiredly on the second ring, my body igniting immediately. _Oh Alex._

'Hi,’ I mirror, glorifying in the connection I’m currently sharing with the love of my life. 'How’re you doing?’ A question that holds so much in three short words.

‘I’m fine,’ Alex replies evasively. My core throbs all the same. 'How are you my love?'

'When can I see you?’ I ask, failing to keep the desperation from my voice.

'Tomorrow,’ Alex says as she breathes harshly. _Tomorrow!_ My mind celebrates gleefully. ‘You know what day tomorrow is, Liv?’ she asks, confusing me. _Er…_ I pause too long. ‘George told me you collapsed again so don’t try to hide that fact from me. I won't break,’ Alex states firmly. ‘My Alpha, are you feeling any better?’ she asks, exasperated by my over protectiveness. My abdomen clenches as ripples of desire migrate to my swollen crotch, as guilt floods my senses.

'I’m sorry sweetie. Okay? I thought... it doesn’t matter what I thought. I’m genuinely feeling much better. Honestly Lex. I think the knock to my head and Huang’s last IV kicked the last of this withdrawal to the curb. But enough about me,’ I say, equally exasperated by Alex’s evasiveness. ‘How is my Omega?’

Alex ponders her words for a moment. ‘I’m terrified.’ My heart breaks as I clutch the cell tighter. ‘I feel as prepared as I can legally be. Well, apart from the small fact any jury in any state will be unfairly prejudicial due to that damn upload! _And_ I have no idea what to expect emotionally. I’m known to be cold; the ice queen among my peers as I’m able to compartmentalise my feelings. But…’ I wait for Alex to find the right words as my chest shudders painfully. ‘I know I have to do this... I've never needed anyone before... But I _need_ you _so_ much it hurts.’ My soul soars and plummets in equal measure. _My life._

'And I _need_ you, Lex. We will get thru this, _together_. Huang has been talking to the uploader…’ I begin, attempting to reassure her.

'George updated me on that pricks helpfulness. Even though it gaols me to say it, I think we need him. In the courtroom,’ Alex admits as she evaluates the risk of having the Omega versus not. ‘What do you think Liv?’ My life’s hesitancy scares me.

'I think we should offer him a deal and use him to protect you in any way we can,’ I state plainly, taking the lead. ‘He wants a deal. Let’s give him one.’

'Okay.’

'What about the publicity Lex?’ I question, knowing the crowds outside have only grown stronger. I can hear them chanting: ‘Corruption or Protection? Let’s hear from Detective Benson!’ _The little shit is probably loving this._

'I’m going to call a press conference tomorrow morning, if... you agree it’s the best course of action,’ my life hesitates again. 'This involves you too.' I realise then what my life is struggling with: _Alex doesn't want to take away my autonomy regarding the upload._ My heart quickens.

'What would you say?’ I ask, anxious of the repercussions of such a move.

'Liz suggested I make a statement.’ _Liz?_ ‘I’ll talk briefly about the upload which has caused a frenzy in the media and I’ll broach the trial. I have to take control before this...’ Alex states determinedly, though her voice quivers with uncertainty.

'Firstly, Liz?’ I ask, confused.

‘Judge Donnelly,’ Alex supplies. I feel my hackles rise.

‘You’re calling her Liz?’ I can’t help but bite, causing Alex’s deep chuckle to vibrate thru the line. My abdomen stirs even whilst I'm in the throes of jealousy.

'So, what if I am?’ Alex can’t resist goading me, causing my clit to throb involuntarily.

'Lex?’ I growl impatiently, not wishing to admit I’m enjoying Alex’s sudden lightheartedness.

'She called me yesterday about the case and I told her what I proposed to do. She thought it was a good idea. But I needed to check with you before I call it,’ Alex says quickly, trying to appease my anxiety.

‘It sounds like you’ve made your decision Alex,’ I say without spite. ‘My only concern is your safety. I think you’re leaving yourself open to…’

‘You haven’t seen how open that upload has left us! There are pages on social media dedicated to us, slamming us, _shaming_ us. I… we need to take back control Liv,’ Alex breathes passionately as I silently nod into the phone, a lone tear travelling past my cheek.

'Okay Lex. But on one condition: I’m standing by your side,’ I stress as I wipe the tear away.

'I wouldn’t want it any other way. Together. I love you.’

 _Together_.

 

Soon After

'I’ve been called as a witness Olivia. I can’t be seen with you in case they call a mistrial...’ Huang says practically as I feel my safety blanket being torn from me. It's surprising how much the man has come to mean to me.

‘By Alex... or the defence? And what about... Peter..? My withdrawal?’ I argue desperately as I walk towards him.

'Alex. She held off as long as she could so I could aide your recovery. It’s Saturday Olivia.’ _Saturday!_ ’And Peter wants a deal so will be receptive. You are recovering well. The precinct physician can help with any final elements of your care,’ Huang counters effortlessly as I watch him buckle his packed bag and lift it from his bunk.

'I've grown strangely attached to you Doctor,’ I admit as he meets my gaze with a smile.

'And me, you Olivia. After this is over, I would like us to...’ Huang pauses in thought.

'You see the potential for this case to succeed?’ I ask, slightly incredulous.

‘The evidence is pretty damning. But this case won’t be about that. It’ll be about whether the jury believe the Alpha/Omega dynamics that have ruled Alex’s life. I’ll be there to strengthen that argument,’ Huang states earnestly as he takes my hand. I know then: _you're not an Alpha. You're not an Omega either..._

'You played Peter didn’t you? You fed on his fear... how didn't he know?’

'I've been examining you for days. Your scent is pretty powerful Olivia,’ he says will a sad grin. ‘I need to go. Take care of yourself and as soon as I’m off the stand, I’ll be by your side okay?’ Huang reassures me softly. I nod, my voice suddenly deserting me. Huang squeezes my hand once more before he walks out of our shared refuge.

 

Moments Later

I listen as the line rings on, my heart racing as I wait for her to pick up. _Pick up the f..._

‘Judge Donnelly.’ I lick my lips nervously.

‘Judge, it’s Detective Olivia Benson...’

‘I shouldn’t be talking to you,’ Donnelly states briskly.

'I haven’t been called...’ I attempt to argue, a lump materialising in my throat.

‘Oh but you will be. Detective, this is highly irregular...’

'Your Honour!’ This time I interrupt. ‘The press conference tomorrow. What the hell have you coerced Alex into doing?’ I retort scathingly, gaining a surprised laugh from Donnelly.

'Jesus! Alex is safe with you isn’t she Detective,’ she acknowledges teasingly. I don’t quite know how to respond. ‘Relax Detective. Agnes did a similar conference before her trial. The masses were sympathetic.’

‘Before or after she was killed?’ I stress brutally. Silence follows.

'I know what you’re both going thru...’

'Then fucking help us!’ My nerves are quickly replaced by a seething, desperate rage.

‘I'm doing all I can from a distance Detective. Don’t tell me I need to do more when I’m already putting my career on the line continuing this conversation!’ Donnelly bites back.

'And your career is so much more important than Alex? Than Agnes?’ I challenge angrily.

I hear Donnelly inhale sharply. ‘Olivia. Make no mistake, I will carry the burden of Agnes’ death to my grave. I don’t plan on adding Alex to that list!’ Donnelly hangs up on me.

My cell immediately vibrates. I answer.

'Detective Pitball, how are you?’ _Lionel fucking Granger_. I bite my lip and dig my nails into my left palm to stop the ready insults. ‘Well I’m sure you know the reason behind this call. I’m calling you as a witness for the defence.’ He waits a beat. ‘You know what this means don’t you? No secret meetings with the radiant Alexandra Cabot or you’ll be dismissed from this case, your role as her handler and from the NYPD.’ _You fucking bastard!_ I take a deep breath. _1... 2..._

'Surely you’ll need to prep m...’ I try

'Very clever DP but no, I think I’ll save your roasting for the Supreme Court. Sleep soundly Detective,’ he chuckles as he ends the call.

I throw my cell across the room before I internalize my anger at such a stupid act. _Fuck!_ I jog to where it landed and breathe a sigh of relief it’s still on and working.

I call my life immediately. ‘Cabot.’ My heart flutters, realising she’s in attorney mode.

'Lex, I’ve been called as a witness for the defence,’ I spit out. I hear Alex growl. My clit quivers painfully.

'This wasn’t entirely unexpected but two can play that game. I’ll call you as a witness too. I planned to anyway, you being my handler. This will allow us to be in each others company without too many issues. You can’t be by my side tomorrow though. I think that’s what Defence Creep really wanted. He wants to watch me squirm on live TV, alone. The creep! He's lucky I haven't knocked his teeth down his throat!’

My ready ire is suddenly dampened by this image. ‘I’d pay real money to see that!’ I confess, lightning the mood still further.

 

The Bullpen

'Fin, what are you doing here? Surely Alex..?’ A cold shiver creeps up my spine realising my life is alone.

Fin gives me a smile. ‘Nice to see you too Liv.’ I blush crimson.

'Sorry. Thank you for protecting my... Alex,’ I whisper quietly, giving him the softest, most grateful expression I can muster.

Fin shrugs nonchalantly. ‘No biggie. Your woman’s really somethin’. As soon as she’d fallen out of heat and prepped me, she thanked me then pretty much kicked me out.’ We both smile, knowing the spirited determination behind those cloudy blue eyes. _Those cloudy blue..._

'Okay,’ I forcefully snap myself out of the daydream. ‘Tomorrow neither of us can protect Alex whilst she’s talking to the press. I’m assuming you know about that?’ Fin nods. ‘We: you and I will become Alex’s full time body guards... Well, continue to be... Can you ask Munch to make a deal with that prick underling? He’s the only one of us not really invested in the case. I don't want Peter's deal blowing up in our faces due to a conflict of interests.’ Fin nods again. I begin pacing the bullpen.

'Liv,’ Fin says to regain my attention. I stop and look at him. ‘Alex isn't in heat anymore, she has airtight physical evidence and that upload to explain everythin’. A Omega who will talk. Oh and a two person army who will kill for her. Dad will too but I know he doesn’t trust himself like we do,’ Fin summarises, attempting to reassure me.

'Maybe so. But the defence will spin it and that's before we think about the jury's preconceived judgements. Fucking hell Fin.’

‘I know Liv, I know,’ he says as he touches my hand briefly. _No!_ My heart drops as I raise my eyes to search his. He stares at me for a full minute. ‘That’s why I don’t like people touching me. And before you ask, Alex knows.’


	33. Count Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final preparations before the conference.  
> What did Fin mean by Alex knowing?  
> Can Cragen protect Alex until Liv can take over?
> 
> Rating: Mature Content

Three Hours To Go 

I reached out to the ADA’s office to confirm an acceptable deal offer for the little shit, with Alex’s and Cragen’s blessing. When I called, I was relieved to find Novak had taken my threat seriously and had stepped down from her post. In her absence, I spoke directly to District Attorney Arthur Branch himself. He immediately asked if he could help with Alex’s case. I thanked him for his offer but explained I wasn’t the person to ask. ‘ _Never take a decision away from me again Liv..._ _’_ I remember my life’s words and heed them, never wishing to be the cause of my Omega’s discomfort ever again. 

 

Two Hours To Go 

‘Three years probation. No prison time. No access to the internet for ten years. It’s a gift,’ Munch gives the underling the outline of our proposed deal. _Please take it_ , my mind screams from behind the one-sided mirror. 

The little shit shakes his head. ‘Nope, immunity or nothing.’ You fucker _!_  

‘Branch said he wouldn’t agree to that, no matter what.’ I pace the observation room to relieve some of the adrenaline coursing thru my veins before I punch the wall, hard. 

‘Olivia!’ Cragen bellows as he takes my knuckle in his hand to inspect it.  

‘He’s got us over a fucking barrel! We can’t use him,’ I near wail as I wrench my hand out of my Captain’s grasp and kick one of the chairs.  

‘Stop Liv, _please_!’ Cragen begs as I try not to lose control completely. 

‘Liv,’ Fin whispers softly. I turn to him, my chest heaving in rage, in hopelessness. ‘Who is this helpin'?’ I breathe deeply as I try to reign myself in. 

‘No one,’ I exhale shakily, feeling myself calming. _Breathe._  

I lean against the wall for several minutes, using the four and eight technique to quieten my panting chest. I nod, once my rage has dissipated. 

Cragen nods back. ‘Okay?’ I blink in answer. Satisfied, the Captain turns to Fin. ‘I’m assuming you would have tol...’ 

‘Listen!’ Fin suddenly interjects, turning the volume up on the Interrogation Room speaker.  

‘... only talk to your Omega,’ Peter says evenly. _Hell no!_    

I turn to the Cap. ‘Alex won’t do that again. She’ll kill him!’  

Cragen continues to watch Fin. ‘Cap, if I knew how Alex could ‘change’, that would’ve been the first thing outta my mouth,’ he clarifies quickly, understanding the reason behind Cragen’s unfinished question. ‘Just because I’m a Omega, don’t mean I know all the history behind it. You don’t think he’s just playin’ us and this whole ‘change’ thing is actually bullshit?’  

I look at him wryly, surprised at myself for not having thought of this. I begin shaking my head. ‘Nah. He was too terrified of Huang to lie... He’s not going to tell us. But... who knows your... station Fin?’ 

Fin turns to look at me, folding his arms across his chest. ‘You, Cragen, Alex and Munch. Never had reason to tell Stabler but don’t think he would’ve got it anyway,’ he answers plainly before he turns back to the one way mirror.  

I hesitate as Cragen looks between us, surprised by my lack of reaction to Fin’s disclosure. ‘I know Cap. Fin told me yesterday,’ I say simply. Cragen nods before shrugging his shoulders. I survey Fin a moment. ‘How... How have you survived? Especially in this job?’  

This time Fin shrugs as he continues to look straight ahead. ‘I can look mean so people don’t generally wanna get near me. As long as people don’t touch me, I’m good. As most of our cases are paedophiles or straight male rapists, I’m pretty safe as an adult male,’ Fin explains steadily, his eyes conveying emotions his features won’t allow.  

I squeeze his arm briefly as Cragen assesses Fin. ‘Are you okay to do this Detective?’ My heart swells at his empathy. 

‘Yes Dad,’ Fin says determinedly, his eyes suddenly on me. ‘Alex has an unusually strong draw or pull as she calls it that unfortunately works against her. She’s an Omega, she’s hot... er beautiful,’ Fin quickly corrects, looking at me apologetically. ‘She’s got brains and she’s stubborn as hell. Alotta women would kill to have what she’s got but... they don’t _know_ _,_ ’ he whispers, his eyes gleaming with unshed tears.  

‘The full package comes with a heinous price,’ I finish for him, tears in my own eyes, thinking of my life’s torturous existence, of Fin’s no doubt heinous experiences. I inhale deeply. ‘But we're going to change that. _And_ throw three strays away whilst we're doing it!’ 

Fin grunts in agreement as he walks to the door, raps his knuckles against it and enters the Interrogation Room. 

 

One Hour To Go 

‘Liv, you have to be the other side of that door,’ Cragen stresses, pointing to the nearest entrance, as I canvas the conference room in readiness for Alex’s statement. _The distant between the_ _nearest_ _door and Alex’s seat_ _is_ _unacceptable._  

‘There’s no way I’m going to be stuck behind that thing if anything kicks off,’ I counter as I step inside the door and close it before kicking it wide open and running towards my life’s chair. ‘It’d take me far too long to get to Alex. I need to be closer, a lot closer or I’ll…’ I struggle to find the words to describe my conflicting anxiety and anticipation at having Alex so close yet unprotected by a safe person. 

Cragen stops at my side. ‘Liv, I’ll be right beside her. I know I’m not you or Fin but I have a gun,’ he argues as he taps his piece. ‘Plus, Alex isn’t in heat anymo…’ 

‘That’s beside the point Cap,’ I voice, exasperated, as I begin pacing the large room. ‘Everyone is going to want a piece of her. The room will have a boner before she even speaks! The slightest nudge or brush will cause a frenzy. I’m _certain_ of it,’ I state testily as I wrack my brains for an idea to keep my life partner safe. I stalk back towards the long conference table. ‘I can hide under this,’ I suggest almost triumphantly, pulling at the table cloth. ‘I can hide under the table before the press arrives.’ I glance at Cragen for affirmation as he checks his watch.  

He looks at me gone out. ‘Liv…’ he starts. ‘Is being so close to her a good idea during this case? Your withdrawal…’ 

I gaze at him incredulous. ‘My Omega has been without my protection for nearly five days,’ I say, hearing my own voice shake slightly. ‘There isn’t a chance in hell I’m staying away once my life steps inside this precinct!’  

Cragen’s eyes noticeably soften as he takes in my resolute features. ‘Miss Cabot is lucky to have you,’ he utters gruffly as he sweeps a hand down his face.  

I smile, knowing I have my affirmation. ‘I hope one day she feels as lucky as I do.’ I squeeze his arm briefly before I step away.   

Cragen’s hand finds mine. I turn back to him questioningly. ‘Liv,’ he whispers, his voice shaking. ‘I know you’re focused on Cabot. My job is to focus on all concerned, including _you_ ,’ he says pointedly. ‘I haven’t forgotten, nor will I ever forget what you have gone and continue to go thru. Just know that I am here and I always have the best intentions even if sometimes I fuck it up,’ he finishes, a lone tear threatening to fall down his cheek. Cragen wipes it away dismissively as I clutch his hand tightly. I nod my head, as tears sting my own eyes. Wordlessly, I allow him to envelope me in his comforting embrace. 

I pull back as Cragen looks at his watch again. ‘You better get under there now,’ he suggests, knowing the press will enter the conference room soon to set up. ‘I’ll let Miss Cabot know so she doesn’t freak out if you touch her.’ _Thank_ _you._  

'Please text me if she'd rather I was behind that door,' I suggest, giving Alex the final say. I turn to him, nervousness and anticipation vying for my attention. ‘Do I have your approval to shoot if this goes to hell?’ I say, swallowing down my nausea. 

‘Hell yes,’ Cragen acquiesces immediately. ‘Your Omega isn’t dying on my watch!’ He states gruffly, gazing at me softly before he leaves, to make final preparations regarding how best to guard my Alex until he can pass the baton to me. 

 

Time 

My legs burn from being in the same position for too long, my mind terrified if I move, I’ll somehow give away my position. The clatter and chatter of machines and men makes my stomach churn, especially when a microphone is positioned directly above me. _Fuck._ But my discomfort is completely overridden by my bodies longing to smell the intoxicating scent of my Omega. _Please come back to me. Please be safe._  

I look at my cell. _It’s time._ _Where is she?_  

My heart beats an incessant rhythm as I begin imagining every possible act being committed against my life at this very moment, and so the cause behind this tardiness. I shut my eyes and run my fingers thru my hair to try and rid myself of these horrifying images. _Please Alex! Where the hell are you?_  

I feel my limbs becoming restless, my body crying out for action whilst _I’m_ _trapped under this fucking table!_ I dig my nails into my palms in an attempt to stop my anxiety from giving away my location.  

My nerves frayed, I rationalise the importance of hiding as far less so than protecting my life partner, my reason for living, my soul tamer. I go to stand, my left leg disobeying my wishes as cramp near snaps my fibula in two. _Fucking...._  

 _Alex!_ My heart, body and soul soar as I smell the first hint of her intoxicating scent. My loins clench, my heart surges, my lungs near burst thru my rib cage as my mind goes numb to all sounds, sights, smells besides my Omega’s beautifully enthralling aura. My body aches, pines for more; my skin ripples will overwhelming excitement and anticipation that my life is alive, breathing, nearing my hiding place as I count the seconds until her beautiful form is within touching distance. I suddenly remember to breathe, quickly placing my hands over my mouth to halt a gasp as I watch Alex’s lithe calves and ankles coming to a stop in front of me. I watch, frozen, as she pulls out her chair and tucks her legs under the table right next to my face, her body jolting forward as she moves her chair closer... _to me._   

 _God Alex!_ My mind mantras as every fibre of my being wants to touch her, to hold her, to comfort her as I sense every bead of anxiety, fear and heat radiating off her body. I dig my nails deeper into my palms to stop my hands from reaching out to her, knowing to do so would out us. _Don’t Olivia!_ I chide myself. _You can do this. Your Omega is here, is ‘safe’, is right beside you._ _Don’t_ _fuck it up!_  

I try to distract myself by concentrating on the room. I hear Cragen take charge of the conference, telling people to settle down, to respect that Miss Cabot is about to make a statement and that no questions can be asked afterwards. That this will be a brief conference, no one is to attempt to approach Miss Cabot in any fashion and any deviation from these set rules could lead to lawful prosecution. I bite my lip to stop myself tapping his knee in thanks, out of respect.  

I close my eyes and listen to my life’s shallow breaths. I inhale and exhale deeply. _I love you,_ inhale. _I love you,_ exhale. _You can do this,_ inhale. _I’m here,_ exhale. _You are the strongest..._ inhale... m _ost_ _incredible..._ exhale...b _eing_ _I’ve_ _ever known_ , inhale. As I attempt to give her my oxygen, my strength, my love, my soul as she embarks on the most perilous journey of her life.  


	34. The Conference

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will the Conference go without a hitch?
> 
> Rating: Explicit Content

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for getting this fiction to and passed the 200 mark on kudos and comments. You're signs and words of encouragement keep this fiction going forward. All kudos and constructive feedback is welcome.  
> Muchos appreciation.

My life clears her throat as she leans her body forward, towards the mic. ‘My name is Alexandra Cabot. I’m a prosecutor and I _am_ the woman in the ‘Gang rape outside NYPD’ YouTube video,’ I hear my Omega inhale a steadying breath as the room stirs. ‘This video has been viewed over 2 billion times. So for every eight people in the world, two have seen it. If you and/or your bosses haven’t viewed it, you wouldn't be here,’ my life challenges bravely as the room collectively gulps. _You are my_ _everything_ _,_ my heart, mind and soul mantra. 

‘I have three things to say about the upload. Firstly, and with her explicit consent, I can confirm the other woman in the video is Detective Olivia Benson, my case handler.’ I try to dampen my shuddering breaths. _Breathe_. ‘Detective Benson is the reason I’m alive today. Without her intervention, I would have been torn apart. She is without doubt the bravest person I have ever met and I will forever be grateful to her. I also wish to thank Detective Tutuola and Captain Cragen for their support, heroics and most importantly, their understanding. Second,’ Alex takes a moment to exhale slowly. My palms begin to bleed as my nails cut into my flesh, my fingers itching to touch her. ‘...the man responsible for filming and uploading the video has been apprehended and is currently in police custody. Thirdly, any person’s identified during video analysis will be prosecuted,’ my life states firmly as the room murmurs once more. _My love._  

‘Finally, sitting next to me is Defence Attorney Lionel Granger,’ I suddenly notice a third pair of legs, positioned two metres to Alex’s right. My body rages with anger at my own blindness, my own stupidity, having been entirely invested in my life's enchanting form. _Wake up, Olivia!_ ‘We are about to duel in the Supreme Court over an entirely separate matter. _This_ particular case has not been made public until now for safety reasons.’ I listen as my life pauses for a moment. I watch her hands grip her chair until her knuckles whiten. _I love you._  

‘I will be prosecuting a rape case that occurred prior to the upload. The perpetrators will be represented by Mr Granger.’ I watch as the veins strain in my life's hands as I hear her voice shake for the first time. _Breathe,_ _my love._  

‘My grandmother, Agnes Cabot, died thirty years ago fighting for justice. Today, now, I am determined to see justice prevail,’ my life concludes sweepingly as I sit in awe of her brilliance. _Leave bread crumb_ _s_ _, let the masses do the rest._ ‘I have no further comments. Thank you for your time.’ I have to bite my tongue and cut deeper into my palms to prevent myself embracing her.  

I watch Cragen stand up and wait at an appropriate distance for Alex to do the same.  

The room erupts in a frenzy of voices, noises and volumes as the reporters beg for more.  

‘Who’s the victim?’ 

‘How many perps..? Who are they?’ 

‘Are you and Detective Benson a...?’ 

‘... the video uploader...?’ 

‘Who’s presiding?’ 

‘Was the whole thing staged?’ 

‘... it the same cas...? 

‘Wasn't Agnes Cabot murdered by a co...?’ 

I crawl on my knees to the periphery of the table, following my life's movements. _Get out of here!_ My mind screams, my body surging with adrenaline as I watch a number of feet move forward. 

‘Stay back,’ Cragen warns as he steps in front of my Omega to halt any possible advances from this current mob. ‘I warn you, stay back!’ He shouts as I hear his safety click. _His armed._  

I look up to see my life’s entire body frozen; the Cap aiming his weapon at a twenty strong mob baying for answers, firing questions and wanting a closer look at the beautiful, attorney victim. _No, no, no. No!_  

I draw my weapon, my own hands shaking as I aim at the leaders foot. _One more step and I’ll..._  

A skin prickling shriek jolts my attention back to my Omega, my heart hammering in dread. Relief and then renewed terror flood me as I watch Fin grab Alex and pull her towards the nearest exit, his own gun drawn and ready. _Fuck! Fin!_ I make to get up just as my life looks directly at me and shakes her head once. _Stay put._ I watch with baited breath until they’re out of sight as Cragen keeps the mob at bay.  

My mind goes haywire thinking of what Fin might being doing to her, _to my life partner. No, he wouldn’t hurt her_ _;_ _he's an Omega. But that little shit... Jesus fucking..._ I feel the instant Alex is out of range as my body begins to ‘normalise’. The incessant throbbing in my crotch eases off but my fearful heart and wheezing chest race. _Do I run to her and blow my cover or trust Fin to keep her safe? Trust him. Trust Fin Olivia, he_ _’_ _s never_ _hurt_ _Alex_ _. He’s got a conscience. Breathe!_  

I blink my eyes several times to refocus them as my cell lights up, one word filling the screen: ‘ _SAFE_ _’_ from Fin. Instantly, relief calms me as I silently gasp for air. _Trust him Liv!_  

 _'Thanks_ _Fin. I owe you more than you’ll ever know!'_

I put my cell down and lay still for several minutes as my depleted oxygen stores are replenished and infused back into my blood stream. 

 

45 minutes later 

The last technician finally leaves the conference room. I immediately bolt from beneath the table, trying to run to where I know Fin took Alex. I end up face planting the floor as my neglected limbs rebel against me. ‘Fuck!’ I near scream as my body hits the floor full force. I lay there, prone, giving my aching limbs time to adjust to being unconfined.  

Eventually my body awakens. I make a steadier approach until I’m stood outside the dorm room door. I knock lightly three times. 

‘Who’s there?’ Fin’s voice questions formidably thru it. 

‘It’s Liv,’ I stutter, my breath hitching as my Omega’s intoxicating scent utterly consumes me.  

I hear the door unlock as my body bows towards my sun. As soon as Fin opens it, I use every last fibre of strength to walk, and not run, into my life’s radiant aura.  

I stand in front of her breath taking beauty, drinking in every line, every hair, every contour as my body surges with blinding endorphins. _She looks unharmed._  

I watch my Omega’s eyes mirror my own, taking in my bloodied forehead, my busted lip as she steps towards me. Alex raises her hand hesitantly as she inspects my features, my injured palms delicately. ‘Was this...? I’m so sorry my Alpha,’ she says, frowning in anger, in hurt. 

My smile is so out of place, my life withdraws her hand in surprise. I grasp her fingers before she can retreat further. ‘No,’ I answer, chuckling softly. ‘I was so determined to get to you that I forgot I’d spent over an hour cramped under that fucking table,’ I explain as my Omega laughs, understanding. My clit quivers painfully at the sound, at the vision, at the touch. ‘Fin?’ I ask, having to be sure. My life shakes her head firmly; both of us blind to his presence, our drugged physiology focused solely on our addiction after days of withdrawal. 

‘You've got to trust him Liv. Yes, he has needs, but he won’t ever hurt me,’ Alex confirms my hopes. ‘Are you o..?’ My life asks, reaching out to caress my cheekbone. I stay back, not wishing to invade her personal space but I ache to hold her.  

Eventually I snap. ‘If I don't hug you in the next two seconds, I'll... I’ll...’ I stammer the hollow threat as my life envelopes me in the most igniting embrace I’ve ever experienced. 

My body is on fire as my Omega rubs her hands up and down the length of my back as we nuzzle each other, becoming reacquainted with the feel, the scent, the reactions of our bodies, our minds to our other half. _I’m whole again._  

I don’t hear the door close, lock and the keys drop back thru as I cradle Alex’s stunning face in my hands. ‘You were... are amazing. How're you holding up?’ I ask as my eyes fall into her cloudy blues, my only concern in the palm of my hands.  

‘Oh for f...’ Alex grabs my shirt collar and roughly pulls me in for a kiss that could char the deepest ocean and climb the highest peak in one fell swoop. My mouth instantly responds as my frame buckles under the overwhelming sensations coursing thru my starving body. My life’s fingers scorch my skin as she lifts my shirt in her haste to make direct contact with my form, her touch leaving a trail of euphoric promise in its wake. _Fuck Alex!_   

As we shed our clothing, my abdomen clenches as my clit tries desperately to wait. But when I feel my life place something in my hand, my core trembles thru the first whispers of orgasm, the sight of the dildo and it’s meaning stoking my desire to fever pitch.  

I take complete ownership of her mouth as I quickly position the appendage upon my person. I pull away very slightly, my body aching at the loss of her taste as I gaze into her iridescent eyes, seeking permission. My Omega places her hand at my nape, stroking my hair lightly as she pulls me towards her. 

The little restraint I had falls away as I pin my life against the wall, her legs wrapping around my waist as I enter her. My hips immediately snap into action, pummelling thru her with an intensity so fierce, my body instantly shudders in mind numbing release. _My god!_  

I gaze at the pure radiance of _my_ Alexandra Cabot for a moment before my mouth hungers for her flesh. My lips clamp onto my life's elegant neck, revelling in the taste of her as my frenzied member continues to thrust into her. I feel her fingers rake thru my hair as I hear a moan of pleasure escape her lips. The sound, enough to coax my engorged clit to tense and contract thru another soul shattering orgasm, my body shaking with the strength of the pleasure radiating thru me as I sink my teeth into her shoulder. A gasp brushes against my ear as I continue forcefully driving into my Omega. ‘Jesus Olivia!’ My life breathes as my clit instantly melts once more, causing rivets of release to flow unhampered down my inner thighs.  

Alex purposefully grinds herself against me, allowing my member to penetrate her depths. I feel her tense around me, her nails digging into my flesh as she comes in a torrent of searing pleasure. I’m too aroused to stop, my body urging me forward as I take her mouth in mine, utterly dominating her. 

My life suddenly pulls away causing me to relinquish her mouth. I gaze at her questioningly as she raises her arms, clutching a steel frame above her head to increase the friction between us still further. I groan audibly as she grinds her pelvis against mine, shifting her weight and using her arms to take control; sliding up and down my member. ‘ _Jesus_ _!’_ I exclaim as her movements cause the second member to nestle deeper inside me, coaxing my g spot with ever more fevered strokes.  

Just as I’m about to explode, my life stops, holding her body weight teasingly still above me as she stares into my hooded eyes. ‘You are so beautiful, Liv,’ she whispers as my soul soars, my body craving one last thrust to reach oblivion. _Please!_ My eyes beg her. 

Alex obliges, lowering herself on to me with a downward thrust so delicate, my insides experience every single nerve jostle, edging toward climax as she finally takes the entirety of me. The most potent orgasm of my life engulfs me, as every individual nerve ending explodes in turn as each undulation of pleasure creeps exquisitely slowly thru me, allowing my senses to glorify in the crescendos of ecstasy for what feels like an eternity. 

 

Dorm room showers (a while later)

I turn the shower head on, the flow of cool water streaming over us. The feel of the water washing away our lust, our pains, our fears as I take Alex’s exquisite face in my hands. I gaze into her cloudy blue eyes, moist with so many conflicting emotions. I lean forward and kiss each eyelid in turn, my thumbs softly brushing away the salt of her tears as the water dilutes them. I watch her chest hitch in a sob as I crush her body to mine, my arms wrapping around her lithe frame, my actions voicing what I can’t say: _I’m here._ _I_ _won’t let go. I_ _love_ _and cherish you_ _with_ _all my heart. I am here to stay. I will never leave you alone again._ _I will protect you..._  

I hold her until the water runs cold; our bodies giving off so much heat, we hardly notice as Alex finally pulls away from me. Her eyes gaze into mine with an expression so open, so loving, so heartbreakingly vulnerable, my heart sours in recognition that I am _seeing_ the true Alexandra Cabot; her true self laid bare  _only_ for me. Her haunted expression, achingly beautiful yet utterly revealing of the endless trauma she has suffered. 

I brush a strand of flaxen hair out of her eyes as I kiss her forehead soundlessly, my own eyes closing as I attempt to love away the years of memories, nightmares and abuse.  

‘If _you_ hadn't been by my bedside when I woke up that day, I would have fled to the nearest bridge...’ my life confesses her heart breaking truth. A sob escapes my own lips as I search her eyes, _knowing_ without a shadow of a doubt that my life, my reason for living, would have ended her own life.  

I thread my fingers thru her wet hair as I pull her towards me, placing her hand over my heart as tears flow freely down our cheeks. ‘If you _ever_ feel close to that again, I’m here. I’ll always be here and I’m never, _ever_ letting go. You die, I die. Remember?’ I whisper breathlessly as I clutch her close to me. ‘I love you and I will forever be here to piece you back together,’ I promise as I hold my life in my arms. 

‘Only if you allow me the same privilege,’ Alex breathes into my ear as something breaks inside me. My shoulders tremble, sobs wracking my body as the relief and hopelessness of our situation hits me full force. ‘I love you, my Alpha. You are my heroin, now and forever,’ my life continues as the despair pours from my body. ‘I will _never_ leave you again!’  

The memory of her haunted eyes staring into mine as the reporters surrounded us, outside the precinct, is burned on my psyche. Suddenly another memory invades my consciousness. I pull away from my life and gaze at her beautiful features. 

‘Teflon?’ Alex’s face creases as I stare at her, enthralled. The sound of her full guttural laugh drives my senses wild. I dig my nails into my already damaged palms to stop myself taking her again. 

‘Whilst you were unconscious, after hell...’ My life swallows harshly. ‘... Fin was amazed I was in better physical shape than you so he started calling me ‘Teflon’...’  

I gaze into her eyes, falling in love with the crows feet crinkling her features as I begin to laugh. ‘That’s perfect, Lex,’ I giggle thru the tears as I draw her closer for another spirit stirring kiss. 


	35. Fighter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia and Alex talk.  
> There's a problem.
> 
> Rating: Explicit Content
> 
> Please don't hate me for this one. Caution recommended.
> 
> P.S. Guess who walks in?

After prepping for all possible arguments the defence may use to discredit me, us, Alex looks at me uncertainly. ‘There’s no going back now,’ she concludes as she inhales a deep breath. I gaze into her iridescent eyes as I marvel at her courage.  

‘Explain to me again why you’re doing this?’ I ask, needing to hear my life's fighting stance. Alex stares into my soul. 

‘My life wasn’t worth living. I was existing, waiting for the next rape, the next beating. Always wondering whether the next time would be my last. Sometimes I wish it was,’ Alex admits as a tear rolls down her beautiful face. I lean forward, using my thumb to wipe it away. ‘But the fates continue to taunt me, torturing me to within an inch of my life but never quite letting me go,’ _My love._ ‘I had to do _something_. I couldn’t... I can’t go thru it again,’ her haunted eyes pin mine. ‘I portray an air of cool indifference but inside, I'm screaming,’ I caress her cheekbone with my fingertips, wordlessly conveying how heart-breakingly grateful I am she is here, alive and in front of me. _I_ _loath_ _e_ _my selfishness_. ‘I hate it! I hate being touched!’ I recoil instantly, feeling the burn. My Omega quickly reaches out and replaces my palm on her cheek. ‘Not you,’ she stresses immediately, stroking my hand. ‘You are the only person whose touch doesn’t leave me feeling repulsed, nauseated, dirty, tainted,’ Alex admits, her face nuzzling further into my palm as a sob escapes her lips.  

‘I feel lucky for every single moment I’m with you. You are my oxygen, my thirst quencher, my heroin. I _will_ get you thru this and then we can begin to heal you, slowly and lovingly,’ I state earnestly, in my attempts to reassure her. 

‘And me you...’ my life offers, her expression leaving no room for argument as she kisses my nose. ‘What the fuck am I doing Liv?’ Alex asks suddenly. ‘I’ve opened the floodgates. I’ve led myself to the slaughter; shined a beacon on my location for past, present and future abusers to home in on. I may as well have a billboard above my head saying ‘Not so fresh meat, free to the strongest genes.'’ 

I shake my head vehemently. ‘No,’ I exclaim as I place my forehead against hers. ‘You didn’t open the floodgates, that little shit did. And you were already being slaughtered most days of your life,’ I whisper as my life dissolves into tears. ‘This is about fighting back, taking back what is rightfully yours. You are showing the world you will _not_ stand for this heinous abuse. You’re fighting for every victim, survivor and Omega; and more importantly, for yourself,’ I state with certainty as I lean back to take in her beautiful features. I wait until her eyes meet mine. ‘You are the strongest, most determined person I’ve _ever_ known. Surely fate has to smile on you some day!’ I say as my life whimpers into my hand. _I can’t think about what life would be like if we lose._  

'Why are you doing this Liv?' my life asks quietly.

'Because I love you,' I reply simply, kissing the top of her head as I feel Alex's body tremble with emotion.

We sit silently as I thread my free hand thru my life's flaxen mane, drawing her body close to mine; holding her as the torrents of her despair truly escape her carefully constructed facade. 

 

A While Later 

A knock at the dorm room door interrupts our reverie. I snap my head up, glaring at the offending door as I eventually unfold myself from my Omega. I gaze at Alex once more, hoping my eyes convey a hundredth of the love I feel for her as I go to open it. I notice the keys on the floor and smile slightly as I retrieve them and unlock our bubble.  

Fin gives me an apologetic shrug. ‘Sorry Liv, Alex,’ he says, craning his neck slightly to acknowledge my Omega. 

‘Fin,’ I say breathlessly, trying to put into words how thankful I am, we are, to have him. ‘Thank you,’ I whisper as I hesitantly reach for his hand. He meets mine half way, allowing my fingers to clasp his briefly before he pulls away. 

He clears his throat self-consciously as he raises his eyes. ‘We've got a problem.’ I shut mine in dread. _What_ _now?!_  

Fin leads us thru the precinct, our nerves frayed as uniforms and perps catch a glimpse of the beautiful prosecutor and the hero cop; the ‘gang rape’ victims. Fin and I circle my life, our hands on our holstered weapons, our meaning clear: _Don’t you dare touch her._  

We breathe a sigh of relief as we step inside the observation room; the walk thru the precinct alone showing us how dangerous the next few weeks will be. 

Cragen looks up as we enter. He gives me a sad smile as he tries to stop himself gazing at the intoxicating vision behind me. ‘Liv, Miss Cabot. I’m sure Fin told you we have a problem.’ 

‘What’s the issue Captain?’ Alex asks impatiently. Cragen’s face flushes crimson at the sound of her voice. _Jesus Cap!_  

‘The underling won’t speak to anyone but you. We tried Fin but he stonewalled,’ Cragen replies nervously.  

Alex looks at me, her expression incredulous at this underlings gaol. ‘Does he actually have anything worth listening to?’ My life asks astutely.  

Fin shrugs his shoulders. ‘That’s what I’ve been thinkin’. But he said something about getting a Alpha and being around Omegas startin' a change. But we don’t know what that means,’ he summarises as Alex stares at the man we loath.  

‘Surely, if that’s the case, I’m already doing that?’ I gaze at my life, a smirk crossing my features at her brazen logic as Cragen turns beetroot. ‘How come he’s still here? He should have been released or charged days ago,’ my Omega realises as she watches the underling pace the interrogation room, uncuffed. 

‘He refused our deal. Call it police protection for now,’ Cragen states wryly, knowing he is treading a very thin line. 

‘Does he want your protection?’ my life counters quickly. 

‘Oh yes,’ Cragen smiles, keeping up with Alex’s thought process. 

‘Good,’ she surmises as she walks to the door.  

I reach for her hand reflexively. ‘I’m coming in with you. He’s not cuffed.’ Alex stares at me, her eyes soft but her meaning clear: _I_ _t’s my decision. I’m doing this_. ‘What difference does it make? He knows I'll be watching so...’ 

‘He wants me Liv. Let’s give him what he wants. See if it loosens him up,’ she argues as she pulls her hand free from mine. I reluctantly watch as she steps into the interrogation room. 

A lecherous smile spreads across the underlings features as my life enters. _Fucker!_ ‘Alexandra Frieda Cabot,’ he breathes slowly, taking pleasure in each syllable. _How does he know her full name?_ I wonder, unease and jealousy creeping up my spine. I watch Alex cross her arms over her abdomen protectively as my skin prickles. ‘How lovely to see you again,’ he drawls as he steps towards her. My fists clench as my nails cut thru my scabs, making me wince in pain. I notice Cragen glance at me briefly, concerned.  

‘That’s close enough,’ Alex warns as she uses the table to maintain a distance between them. ‘They said you wanted to speak to me,’ she prompts impatiently. 

‘What? No foreplay today?’ Nausea hits my gut as I finally meet Cragen’s gaze, my disgust evident. _What the fuck?_  

‘Peter, what is it you want to talk to me about?’ my life ignores his taunts as she stares him down.  

‘You know, you’re the only person that understands me,’ he says moronically. I watch in admiration as Alex doesn’t even flinch. ‘I kinda like having someone who _gets_ me around. I could get used to your scent.’ Peter licks his lips as he sniffs the air theatrically. ‘God, you smell good Alex,’ he continues in his attempts to provoke her. _Why is he, an Omega, acting like an Alpha?_ _‘_ No hiding behind Detective Benson’s scent today then?’ His laughter sets my teeth on edge as I cringe at the obvious fact _he_ knows. 

‘Cap, I really don’t like this!’ I voice as we observe the underlings predatory dance. 

‘Peter. What is it you needed to talk about?’ Alex repeats as he walks to her side of the table. I start toward the door.  

‘Liv! Wait!’ Cragen shouts as my hand grips the door knob. 

I observe my life moving quickly to the other side of the table to avoid him. Peter laughs sickeningly. ‘Who’s afraid of whom this time, huh?’  

My cell suddenly rings. I quickly look down at the caller ID: _Judge Q A._ _Donnelly_. _Why the fuck..?_  

This distraction is all it takes. The next moment, Fin and the Cap are hurtling towards me, their guns drawn, as I look thru the one way mirror. My heart rate spikes as adrenaline surges thru my body. _ALEX!_  

We burst into the interrogation room.  

Peter has Alex pinned against the table, holding a piece of glass to her throat, to subdue her, as he stares at us gleefully. I note my life's glazed eyes as I watch the fucking bastard grope her crotch area. _Alex!_ My head screams as he continues to fondle her. _She's_ _dissociating_ _,_ I realise, recognising _that_ look anywhere. Then I notice her clenched fists and know she is trying to fool him, that she wants to pummel him to death if the opportunity presents itself. 

He forces her thighs apart, wrenches her skirt up above her waist and begins rubbing his crotch against her.  

 _‘_ _You’re dead_ _!_ _’_ I snarl in a deathly whisper, as I attempt to hold my weapon straight, my hands shaking with soul destroying anxiety. 

‘I’m... counting... on it!’ he counters breathlessly, his arousal clear. 

‘Peter... you don’t want to do this,’ Cragen warns uselessly, as we watch him shudder. _God, no!_  

‘I think I do,’ he argues with a nauseatingly satisfied sigh as he tears at my life’s panties. I try not to heave as a low groan escapes Alex’s lips, breaking my heart. ‘You’re going to watch me fuck her. And if you try to stop or shoot me, who knows how deep this’ll go,’ Peter taunts, cutting my life and causing blood to rivet down her neck. _No, no, fuck! Her blood..._ I hear Alex whimper slightly as he leans down to suckle her blood trail. As soon as he tastes her, his already aroused form starts to buck with overwhelming desire. He grinds himself against her, raising his head to lick her face as his free hand unzips his pants.  

 _No, don't_ _... S_ _hoot, Liv! Shoot him!_ My entire body trembles with raging terror and despair as I watch helplessly, my core fear being realised as the _fucking bastard assaults my Omega._ He whispers something in Alex's ear just as he’s about to force himself inside her. _Fuck this!_ my mind bellows as I step forward.  

As I make my move, I watch in slow motion as Alex suddenly wrenches his glass holding pinkie finger backwards before head-butting him square in the face, breaking his nose. The bastard shrieks in pain as I pull him off of her and throw him to the floor. I stalk his battered form as he tries to crawl away. I glance at Cragen briefly, reading his raised eyebrow as affirmation.  

Shaking with adrenaline and rage, my fists rain down on the bastards face and body as I beat the hell out of my Omega's attacker. ‘You _fucking bastard!_ You _freak_! What the _fuck_...?’ I try to catch my breath as tears flow unchecked down my face. ‘If you _ever_... I’m going to _kill_ you...’ I promise as I stomp on his crotch, glorifying in his pained yelps as I dismantle his manhood.  

‘ _No_ _!_ ’ The _only_ voice that can permeate my current rage. I run to her, tearing off my shirt to cover her modesty. ‘Alex, sweetie?’ I whisper as I caress her jaw, her body trembling, her arms slightly raised in an innately protective gesture as her eyes see past me. Internally I’m shattering as I observe Alex’s panic stricken features reliving every assault she’s ever experienced. ‘Sweetie, can you hear me? My love, it’s Olivia, you're Alpha. Look at me Lex. I’m here. I’m so sorry. I’m here, you’re safe. Look at me sweetie. He's down. He can’t hurt you anymore. You’re safe my love,’ I attempt to ground her as I thread my fingers thru her hair.  

Watching my struggling Omega destroys me as I slowly but surely raise her torso until she is leaning into my body. Her arms grip me desperately, as I hold her tightly against me, feeling every shiver of her willowy frame as I whisper reassuringly into her ear; internally swearing to God, fate, whoever will listen, damning them for doing this to my Alex. _My_ _life_ _!_   

‘He's a fucking psycho... Liv. He's... he’s an Omega blaming everyone... _everyone_ for what he’s been thru... The only people he can control, his own kind! He said he...,’ my life swallows harshly. ‘... he said he's been following me for months. That he wanted me... before you did... he was going to have me...’ Alex whispers in anguish, her words turning my heart to stone. _Jesus fucking Christ!_  

I pull away slightly to look directly at my life. Alex breathes deeply in an effort to control her rioting heart. I wipe her tears away as I nuzzle her cheek. ‘He was wrong, Lex. He didn't... You got him. He can’t hurt you anymore.’ 

‘Is he... dead?’ Alex asks, her frame trembling in shock. 

‘I hope so,’ I say, brushing a hair from her face, as Fin and Cragen work on the underling’s still form below us. 

‘Liv,’ my life breathes as renewed tears flood her cloudy blue orbs. ‘... he said he wanted you to kill him... to ruin your career... that you took me from him... my rightful _owner_... said he knew how to save me... that you would have to... to live knowing you’d... killed the one person who could stop my abuse... He said he'd... he’d make me his... then he’d save me; make me a _queen_ ,’ Alex shudders as she abruptly leans over and empties the contents of her stomach onto the floor.  

I feel numb, rubbing my Omega's back softly as I stare at the underlings broken body hopelessly, a cold shiver running down my spine. _Fuck, I’ve killed him!_  

‘Lex, I’m so sorry,’ I whisper, begging for my life’s forgiveness. 

‘Liv, look at me,’ Alex demands as she waits, wiping her mouth subconsciously. I finally turn to her. ‘His word counts for nothing. The very fact he saw.... saw raping me as his worthy payment for... ‘saving’ me is indication enough. He’s no... better than any other abuser: using manipulation to get what he wants,’ she argues as she caresses my cheekbone. ‘Even if he _did_ know something, I couldn’t... I just...’ My life dissolves into floods of tears as I envelope her in my arms once more. ‘ _God_ , Liv!’ Tears river down my own face as I breathe the deepest sigh of relief. _My life_ _doesn’t blame_ _me._  

‘He’s got a pulse,’ Cragen pipes up. The look of confusion on Alex’s face mirrors my own conflicting emotions at this news. 

‘Oh, what a fucking shame!’ Our heads immediately snap towards the voice at the door. 


	36. Changing of the Guard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pack reform.
> 
> Rating: Mature Content

I swallow hard, still holding my Omega as Judge Donnelly takes in the scene before her. _Shit!_ Fin and Cragen freeze over the underlings crumpled form, obviously wondering what to do.

‘Your shirt,’ Alex whispers in my ear as she lowers her skirt and tries to place my top around my shoulders. Brazenly, I turn my half naked torso towards Donnelly. We both know I do this to stamp my authority. 

‘What do you want Liz?’ I query, using her given name, my hackles raised for a further fight. Donnelly surveys me coldly for a moment, taking in my dishevelled appearance, before she eyes Alex. Silent communication passes between them for several minutes. Eventually, I step between them, in case I’ve read this wrong and Donnelly is trying to mind fuck my Omega. She meets my gaze squarely.

‘I need to speak to Alex alone,’ she demands bluntly, staring me down. I bite my lip to stop my hands from shaking at her overpowering dominance.

‘Not a chance!’ I spit back, my chest straining as I try to hide my uncertainty. ‘You come in here and treat us like crimi..!’

‘What do you expect Detective? You’re topless, covered in blood and that man, who I assume is one of the assailants, looks like he’s dead or dying!’ Donnelly argues viciously as she points towards the underling. ‘I want Alex to tell me exactly what the hell happened here without any possible coercion. Now!’ Donnelly commands as she takes a step out of the room. ‘I said _now!’_ she growls thru clenched teeth. I glare at her, unmoving. I feel Alex touch my back lightly, pushing me forward so she can clamber off the table. 

‘Lex!’ I voice, aghast. My life glances at me wearily before she walks towards the more dominant Alpha. My heart hammers out of my chest as I watch my Omega go. I swallow the lump in my throat, suddenly frozen as Alex offers her hand to Donnelly, who takes it softly in hers before releasing it.

‘I’m no threat Detective. Now enough time wasting,’ she states impatiently as she leads Alex away.

Twenty agonising minutes later, Alex and Donnelly finally return to the interrogation room. _Alex!_ I immediately run to her, searching her eyes, her body for further signs of trauma as I run my hands up and down her arms lightly. 

‘Liz is no threat, Liv,’ she answers my unspoken question as I see a renewed spirit behind her eyes. I turn to Donnelly as I button up my shirt.

‘So, what are you doing here?’ I repeat as Fin and Cragen watch our interaction with obvious interest. 

‘Liv,’ Alex sighs in an attempt to calm my nerves. 

Donnelly steps toward me. ‘You may not believe this but I’m a friend, okay?’ her says surprisingly softly.

‘Generally people who have to stress that fact, _aren't_ ,’ I can’t help but bite. Alex steps into my line of vision, her eyes imploring me to listen.

‘ _My_ Alpha. Liz isn’t a threat, to me or our relationship. For fucks sake listen to her,’ Alex tries to reason with me. I clench my jaw, swallowing down my jealous anxiety.

‘I came here as neither of you were answering your phones…’ _She did call._ ‘… but first, maybe we should talk about this situation,’ Donnelly suggests as she surveys the room again.

‘Your honour, Captain Don Crag…’ Cragen introduces himself nervously, wondering how the imposing judge will respond to him given their history with Agnes Cabot.

‘I know who you are,’ Donnelly interrupts him impatiently. ‘You were the good partner,’ she surmises dismissively as she returns her attention to my Omega and I. ‘What do you think is the best course of action Olivia, Alex?’ I’m shocked Donnelly side steps the Cap, the ranking officer, in favour of our opinions. _But then…_ I reflect on this almost immediately. _...perhaps_ _not so surprising._

I look to Alex, wishing to give my life the first opportunity. She squeezes my arm gently before she glances at Donnelly.

‘Whatever you plan to do, make it quick! We could lose him!’ Fin interjects in frustration. The boom of his voice makes Alex flinch and grip my arm reflexively. I stroke her hand softly as she blanches with embarrassment. Behind me, Fin raises his hand in silent apology, understanding.

‘He’s admitted to stalking Alex. Say we were holding him due to this added offence. He was placed in a crowded holding cell overnight. His injuries could have been caused by a cell mate high on crack?’ I suggest quickly, trying to give a plausible explanation.

‘With the precinct on lock down, the holding cells would of been more crowded than normal with crack heads. None of ‘em would remember,’ Fin supplies helpfully as we glance between the judge and the breathtaking attorney.

‘Alex?’ Donnelly offers her the decision. 

‘How do we get him back to the holding cells without being noticed? On our short walk thru the precinct, we must have passed forty people. And who knows he’s here?’ Alex questions intelligently, her mind prioritising logical thought over emotional turmoil. _A skill_ _s_ _he must have_ _honed_ _following years of abuse._

Cragen steps forward, finally feeling he has a contribution worthy of not being shut down by the formidable judge. ‘Security alarm. Only sounds when a perp absconds. All detectives are required to check cells and doors before suiting up in their riot gear. Standard procedure.’ _Geni_ _u_ _s!_ ‘And no one knows he's been in interrogation apart from the people in this room and Huang. Everyone else knows he’s in the building somewhere.’

Alex, Donnelly and I nod in agreement. I turn to Fin who wordlessly leaves the room. 

‘Maybe clean yourself up Olivia,’ Donnelly suggests, pointing at the blood I can’t see. My life steps forward and licks her finger before rubbing the caked blood off my face and neck. I blush at the intimacy of her touch, especially in front of the Cap and Donnelly. I try to talk down my suddenly throbbing clit as heat flushes my cheeks. _Please._

‘I’ll go help Fin,’ Cragen offers, near running out the door before we have a chance to object.

‘You’ll have to watch him Alex,’ Donnelly reads his behaviour expertly. Alex and I share a knowing glance, in awe of the judge.

Fin and Cragen run back into the room, pick up the underling and carry him speedily away. Donnelly looks up in confusion. ‘It’s a silent alarm, coded into our radios, so as not to alarm perps, victims, families, _lawyers_ who may be in the building,’ I explain quickly, swallowing my desire as I take a purposeful step away from my Omega. I feel the weight of Alex's gaze.

‘So, a perp may abscond and I wouldn’t even know it?’ Donnelly asks the obvious question. I just stare at her a moment before I turn back to my life.

 _God, I hope this works._ Alex obviously has similar thoughts as her intoxicating eyes pin mine. I offer her my hand which she takes instantly. _I love you,_ I say thru my touch, my eyes, as Alex runs her fingers thru her dishevelled hair. _God!_

Only when Donnelly clears her throat do we remember she exists. She looks between us with something akin to awe in her eyes. ‘You really do love her, don’t you?’

‘With every molecule of my being,’ I confess, as I note the same feelings mirrored in my life’s eyes. 

‘Well, you’d have to, to do what you’re about to,’ Donnelly states frankly, somewhat ruining the moment as Alex and I finally tear our eyes away from each other and glance at the third wheel judge. She takes a deep breath, showing uncertainty for the first time. It worries me. _What now?_ _!_  

‘Spit it out Liz,’ I cajole impatiently as I notice Alex stiffen. 

‘Liz!’ my life stresses anxiously, her pupils widening with each second Donnelly hesitates. _For fuck sake!_  

‘Alright! The reason I came down here, after ringing you both and getting no answer, is because each defendant’s lawyered up.’ 

I watch my life’s face turn deathly pale in shock. _No._ Alex takes a step back, putting a hand to her brow, frowning as she tries to compute this latest cluster. She raises her eyes to mine, her lips wavering in surprise as she grinds her teeth to stop the ready tears from falling. My life turns to Donnelly. ‘Who?’ I rub my thumb over her knuckles calmingly as the rage builds in my gut once more. _How much more can my Omega_ _take!_ _?_

‘Roger Kressler and John Buchanan,’ Donnelly supplies as I watch Alex lick her suddenly bone dry lips. 

‘Surely, it’s too late notice. Can’t we stop it?’ I argue, dumbfounded that Defence Creep would stoop this low.

‘Unfortunately, defendants have the privilege and right to change counsel as often as they choose, or to not have it at all,’ Donnelly explains as she gestures to Alex who shakes her head in overt disgust.

‘I knew Defence Creep…’

‘Lionel Granger,’ Donnelly corrects her. ‘You’d better start calling him by his given name because if you use that term in court, I’ll have to reprimand you,’ the judge clarifies, as she glances at me, dulling my ready anger.

Alex’s rolls her eyes in frustration. ‘Okay, Granger. He’s doing this to intimidate me… to remind me of that night,’ she concludes as she rubs her pulsing temples.

‘Three defendents; three defence attorneys,’ I mutter under my breath as I attempt to contain my rage. ‘Lex, we'll have weapons, they won’t,’ I say to reassure her. 

Alex turns to me with an expression I’ve seen too many times in her eyes: a haunted knowing that penetrates my soul. _God Alex!_ ‘Liv, Peter ‘didn’t’ have a weapon either,’ she reminds me. ‘Desperate people, desperate measures.’ I gaze into her eyes as pure sadness radiates from the pit of my stomach. _Jesus._  

‘He had a..?’ Donnelly begins.

‘He was wearing glasses when I first met him. He wasn’t this time.’ _Alex_ _notices_ _what I_ _hadn_ _’t seen. Christ, she’s right!_

My eyes absentmindedly travel to the cut below her jaw line. _Superficial but so very_ _disturbing._ I make a mental note to wash my life later. ‘I better tell Fin and the Captain he may have a second weapon hidden on his person.’

‘Olivia,’ Donnelly says to regain my attention. ‘I think you and Alex need to use this security alarm opportunity to get the hell out of here,’ the judge stresses abruptly. ‘I wouldn’t go home as the press will follow you and hound you forever,’ she continues.

‘They’ll know where we live by now anyw...’ Alex mutters, flinching at a sound behind us. We turn to see Fin and Cragen returning.

‘All clear, done, dusted,’ Cragen assures us briefly.

Donnelly turns back to my life. ‘Do you trust these men?’ she asks Alex directly. My Omega's features twist as she attempts to spare the Captains feelings. 

My respect for the man multiples as he approaches us. ‘I don’t trust myself around Miss Cabot, without others,’ he admits, his face crestfallen but his eyes relieved he’s owned what we already knew.

‘Alex?’ Donnelly gives my life the final say. Everyone gazes at the beautifully haunting Alexandra Cabot.

‘Please don’t all stare at me like that,’ she turns away and stalks to the corner of the room, facing the wall, her head in her hands. I gesture for them to back off as I move to stand next to my distraught life partner.

‘Lex,’ I say softly, waiting for my Omega to acknowledge my presence. Finally, she lowers her hands and looks at me as tears flow freely down her face. ‘My love. Can I touch you?’ I ask, waiting for permission whilst every fibre of my being aches to hold her, to suck every ounce of malignancy out of her used and abused body. My heart breaks as Alex shakes her head, not trusting herself to speak thru her despair as sobs wrack her slender frame. ‘I love you. I _love_ you _so_ much. I will protect you, until my dying breath,’ I whisper, digging my nails into my palms to heed her silent request for space.

‘God, _please_ stop Liv,’ my life begs urgently. My mouth falls open; my heart constricting, bursting, free falling. ‘Please, my love. _Please_ stop being so kind to me. I can't afford to fall apart here...’ Alex sniffs as comprehension hits me. Admiration for my life partner reaches insurmountable heights as a lone tear escapes. _My soul._

‘Guys?’ I shout. ‘We need to get out of here, stat!’ I stress, eyeing Alex as Fin, Donnelly and Cragen enter the room once more. 

‘Captain Cragen, I need you to leave us so we can discuss exit strategies,’ Donnelly commands pointedly.

‘No. The Cap can be trusted with information. Just not with touching Alex,’ I clarify as Cragen stands his ground.

‘I’ve had _enough_ of being treated like a second-rate citizen because of my partners actions,’ he finally confronts Donnelly, who looks as unaffected as a mill pond when Cragen steps towards her.

‘I’m not treating you like a second-rate citizen for that,’ she rebuffs caustically, not denying her treatment of him. ‘I’m treating you as a second-rate citizen because you, and they...’ she gestures towards us. ‘... don’t believe you possess a strong enough conscience to fight Alex’s scent,’ Donnelly finishes, spearing him with her most venomous barbs.   

Cragen recoils like he’s been stabbed, the insult hitting him full force in the chest. Fin and I are struck dumb momentarily, completely at a loss as to what to say. 

‘Liz,’ I finally find my voice. ‘Don Cragen has shown professional and gentlemanly conducted throughout Alex’s case. He has never tried to touch her or push her boundaries… intentionally,’ I correct, remembering their heated debate in his office. ‘I won’t have you speaking to the Captain like that,’ I counter, staring at the judge resolutely.

‘So, you trust him with Alex in every capacity, _but_ the most important one?’ Donnelly argues deftly. _I hate attorneys!_

‘Stop it! Both of you!’ Alex interjects, immediately dampening our ire as she begins pacing the claustrophobic room whilst absentmindedly running her fingers thru her flaxen mane, exasperated.

I can’t disagree with Donnelly's argument as I take in my Omega’s wired form. I inhale a steadying breath. ‘Right now, I need to get Alex out of here. We can debate semantics later!’ I reply heatedly. ‘Cap, please can you go search the bastard to see if he has hidden his other glasses lense as a future weapon?’ I watch him nod his head, deflated and humiliated. ‘I _will_ be in touch and Cap,’ I call as he nears the door. ‘… you’re the father I never had.’ I lower my gaze before I can read his expression, needing to maintain an air of control and calm thru this devastating turn of events. ‘Fin,’ I say as Cragen leaves the room. ‘... can you get us three sets of riot gear, one for you, me and Alex,’ _Why_ _didn't_ _I_ _think_ _of this the first time?_ ‘We’re going to ‘bodyguard’ Liz to her car,’ I state firmly before Donnelly can object. I turn to her, her open mouth silently working overtime. ‘You said we can’t go home. So, where do you suggest?’

‘Okay. As soon as Detective Fin is it(?) comes back, follow me,’ Donnelly acquiesces. I look to Alex for her affirmation. Getting it, I step into the observation room, futilely grasping for fresh air. 

That’s when I see them: Two glucose sachets positioned in the centre of the table. _Oh Dad_.


	37. Evolutionary Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Does the pack finally escape the precinct?  
> Can Olivia and Alex sooth each other adequately?
> 
> Rating: Explicit Content.
> 
> Word of warning, this gets rough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a looooong chapter - you're welcome.
> 
> The scar was mentioned in Chapter 16.  
> Fin placed clothes and a certain object within easy reach.
> 
> You'll understand by the end...

Only once Donnelly’s driving us away from the media swarm do I take a breath. _It worked_. I watch her poor usurped driver trying to evade their intense scrutiny, before I turn to my life beside me in the back seat. _Better him than us_ , my selfish mind surmises as I take off my helmet and gloves so I can touch my Omega. I watch Alex mirror my actions, her eyes conveying emotions that break my heart. _My love._ I offer her my hand. She takes it but turns away to the window, her palm cupping her jaw as she tries to hold herself together.

I glance at Fin, then thru the rear-view mirror to Donnelly whose eyes don’t waver from the road.

‘Where are we going Liz?’ I ask, wanting to know but also to distract my attention away from the strongest being I’ve ever known.  

Liz eyes me briefly before her focus returns to the road. ‘It’s probably best you don’t know. Just use this time to rest, okay? Once we get there, you won’t until aft…’ Donnelly doesn’t finish her sentence, she doesn't have to.

I gaze at my life’s effortless beauty as she rests her head against the window, her eyes closed. I marvel at her perfection: her exquisite bone structure, her succulent lips, her golden mane, her beautifully framing brows, _those eyes…_

‘Olivia!’ Donnelly shouts, making both Alex and I jump. _She_ _know_ _s_ _exactly what she’s_ _interruptin_ _g_. I continue to gaze at my life as she glances at me then the judge, wide eyed. I shake my head to reassure her.

‘I've got you,’ Fin offers from the front seat, subtly suggesting we heed Donnelly’s advice. I turn to my Omega who gives my hand a squeeze, causing my body to flush with arousal, before she closes her eyes once more, exhaustion consuming her.

What feels like only minutes later, I jolt awake as the door beside me opens. I finger my piece reflexively. ‘It’s Fin, Liv,’ I hear him whisper as my eyes blink at the sudden light in the car from the open door. ‘Come on,’ he cajoles as I quickly glance to my left, fully intending to wake Alex, to find the seat empty. I turn to him in alarm as my body jerks forward in my haste to find her. ‘Liv, _Liv!’_ I jostle past him and run to a lone cabin style house in search of my Omega. 

‘Lex?’ I shout desperately as my mind races thru every possible... My nose suddenly picks up her scent. _Alex!_ I almost knock Donnelly over as I barge past her. The airs suddenly knocked out of me as she grabs hold of my arms, shaking me.

‘Olivia! Calm the hell down!’ she warns as I try to break free from her stronger grasp.

‘Get _off_ me!’ I seethe. ‘Where the _fuck_ is she?’ I near scream as my rage and anxiety build with every second Donnelly forcibly restrains me. 

‘She’s sleeping down the hall!’ Donnelly hollers back as she tightens her vice like grip. Every fibre of my being aches to be by my life’s side. I twist my body sharply, somehow escaping Donnelly’s grasp. I run past her before she can regain a good hold. 

A cold shiver runs down my spine at Donnelly's greater strength. _It’s the first time since hell that_ _I've_ _truly_ _felt physically helpless_ _at the hands_ _o_ _f_ _someone else_. _I’m Alex to her Liv,_ I register, shocked and nauseated as I attempt to swallow the lump in my throat. 

 _Lex!_ My mind returns to the more pressing issue as I reach the end of the hall.

I burst thru the door soundlessly, finding _my_ Alex lying on the bed, her hair fanned against the pillows, her body in the foetal position. I stop dead, amazed that I haven’t woken her as I take in her soul shatteringly broken form. A bruise is just beginning to show on her forehead where she head-butted the bastard. My anger resurges at the underlings gaol to... _stop!_ I quieten my mind by taking several deep breaths as I shut the door and walk to the bed. It's almost certainly a queen so I lie down easily without waking my exhausted life partner.

I wake to whimpers and tremors as the bed vibrates slightly beneath me. I’m immediately alert as I gaze towards my Omega; sweat glistens her brow, her face twists painfully in sleep. _Nightmare_... 

I scoot over to her willowy frame and gently shake her awake. Alex wrestles against me fleetingly before her body stills in recognition. My life stares into my eyes in overt confusion as she tries to fathom her nightmare from her reality. ‘I'm here, sweetie. You're safe, with your Alpha.’ I place a hand on her cheek, caressing her softly as I watch her eyes slowly become less panicked. ‘You want to talk about it?’ I offer, my soul dying as a steady stream of tears roll down her face. My life shakes her head as she nuzzles deeper into my touch. _God!_ I take a steadying breath as I gaze into her iridescent eyes. ‘I’m so sorry, my love,’ I beg for my Omega's forgiveness as guilt invades my every pore. _I should have seen it coming. I should never have allowed him_ _anywhere near my life, let alone_ _give_ _n_ _him opportunity to touch_ _her!_ I hear Alex’s breath catch as she envelopes me in her arms, her hand playing with my hair comfortingly as she squeezes me tightly against her.

‘My love, my incredible Alpha...’ I begin to say something but my life interrupts me. ‘Shush. Don’t talk, just listen.’ My Omega pauses to ensure she has my full attention. ‘The raised scars on my back?’ I nod, remembering the lines on her lower back. ‘Those were made by a faceless son of a _bitch_ who always attacks me from behind. He keeps a tally each and every time he rapes me.’ My mind is too overwhelmed with disgust to make coherent thought. ‘Those tiny raised lines became a scar that stretches the width of my back. He’s abused me every few weeks for _years_... I lost count... His branding; my constant reminder of just one man’s sickness,’ my heart freezes as Alex reveals more of her suffering; silent tears flowing unchecked down her beautiful features. ‘No matter where I hide, where I elope to, he _always_ finds me.’ 

‘ _Alex_ ,’ I breathe, as I gaze into her soul, wishing I could tear this monster to pieces with my bare hands.

My life closes her eyes and swallows before continuing her heinous tale. ‘I purposely cut thru his ‘score’ so I’d never be able to count the actual tally every time I bathed, undressed. That is one person's damage. _One_ , of the many who have succeeded. I'm telling you this because I’ve never gone this long without someone raping me. Without _him_ raping me. You are the _only_ reason I’m still alive. Get that into your stubborn skull!’ Alex stresses as she moves to cradle my face.

‘Jesus _Christ_ _,_ Alex!’ I growl between gasps, my body trembling in horror at the life my Omega has been forced to lead. ‘I'll search similar MO's on NAFIS. We'll get him, Lex,’ my mind defaults to detective mode, wishing to defend and reassure her.

My life’s expression turns defeated. ‘Trust me, I've tried. He's too good. You’ll never find him. _And_ I was trying to make a point. Nothing more,’ she whispers, clearly wanting to shut the subject down.

I heed her silent request, not wishing to ostracize Alex, _especially_ tonight. I shake my head to rid myself of the rage coursing thru my veins. _Breathe. Think of the present._ ‘Today was far too close. I should have stepped in before I did,’ I sniff and wheeze as I gaze into my Omega's eyes, hating myself that he touched her, almost raped her. 

My life shakes her head slowly as tears bead in her eyes once more. ‘He would have killed me is you’d moved sooner. Yes, it was close _b_ _ut_ you stopped him. You saved me by giving into your innate dominance as my Alpha,’ Alex implores me to believe her as she nuzzles my cheek. 

‘He touched you, he...’

‘He won’t be the last,’ my life concedes hauntingly. ‘But maybe, just maybe, I won’t be...’ my Omega stops before she tempts fate, her implication clear. ‘Because of you, I have that hope,’ she confesses as my heart constricts painfully. ‘I love you, my Alpha,’ Alex whispers softly into my hair.

‘I love you more, my Omega,’ I counter, kissing her ear gently.

‘Please Liv. _Please_ take me,’ Alex pleads as she pulls her head back to gaze into my eyes. My chest shudders as I try to understand why she would want this. _But then my body wants it too, wants it so badly nothing else matters._ My heart ricochets against my rib cage, my lungs quiver in their impossible quest to intake oxygen as my chest pants to within an inch of its life. The ever present drum deafens me as my pulse peaks wildly. My body begins to shake as excruciating need courses thru every nerve ending. _My god Alex!_

I pull my hand away and get off the bed, trying, praying with every cell of my being not to take advantage of my Omega just hours after she was almost raped. _You_ _sick_ _fuck!_ I run my hands thru my hair as I watch Alex get off the bed and approach me. She stops right in front of me, taking my hand in hers and placing it over her heart. I notice her own shuddering breathes as my body burns with scorching heat. She bores her iridescent eyes into mine as she struggles to inhale enough oxygen to speak. 

‘Can you feel my heart..? It's racing for _you_... I need you... _now_... When you dominate me... it makes me feel... reconnected, rebalanced... whole again... You make me feel safe, strong, almost... untouchable... 

My body is trained to be used... not loved... Now I’ve experienced love... know what it feels like... I can’t get enough of it... of _you_... But saying this... my body still needs to be dominated... My role as an... Omega isn't fulfilled without it...’ Alex starts to caress my cheekbone with her free hand. ‘You know exactly... what I mean...’ She takes a steadying breath as she searches my eyes. I’ve never seen her look more beautiful, more desperate, more determined. ‘This may be the last time... we ever make love... every time may be... I _need_ you to act like it _is_ our last time... _every_ time... because it might...’ my life stops herself as my breathing hitches. ‘I _need_ my tough, brave... dominant Alpha right now... I need you to take me... to do as you will with me...’ Alex steps away from me, her blazing eyes holding mine as she begins to undress, slowly revealing more and more of her luminous skin. My bone dry mouth aches to suck every last inch of flesh she reveals but my raging body remains frozen, glorifying in her beauty, her magnificence as she finally stands naked before me. My predatory eyes drink in every line, every contour of her breathtakingly beautiful body. 

Unconsciously, I begin tearing at my own clothing. Within seconds, we stand naked, less than a metre apart. I can feel the waves of animal desire rippling off Alexandra Cabot’s trembling form as my abdomen quivers painfully. _Fuck!_

‘Dominate me, my Alpha... I’ll shout... ‘Teflon’ if I need you to stop.’ Our eyes meet and crinkle at the newly identified safe word. It eases the sexual tension weighing heavily in the void between us. 

 _You’re not raping her_ _,_ _Liv. You’re doing what she wants you to do. Take fucking control and be the Alpha your body_ _AND your Omega_ _are_ _begging you to be!_

My body radiates with overwhelming need as I notice a slight change in my life’s expression. She looks at me as though I’m dangerous. _Fuck me!_ _If I've ever seen anything_ _more._ _.._ I watch as Alex starts backing away from me. It kills me that _this_ slight change snaps the coil wound so tightly inside me. I’m unable to silence a heated growl as my body moves of its own accord towards my vulnerable and achingly ripe Omega. 

Alex has no where to go once I trap her against the wall, my hands either side of her head, imprisoning her as my eyes innately appraise her. I watch her body tremble at my teasing, my flesh not quite touching hers. 

‘Kiss me,’ I command as my life moves her lips closer, somehow knowing not to touch the rest of my body... yet. Her lips connect hungrily with mine, tipping me completely over the edge as my body near slams her into the wall. I hear a surprised gasp escape her lips before I stifle it with my own. _Don’t think,_ I mantra as my tongue invades my Omega's hot chocolate flavoured mouth. As I take ownership of her lips, my hand finds her buttock which I kneed bruisingly as I push my thigh between hers. My life can only comply as I begin rutting against her, my body primed for unimaginable pleasure. 

I’m shocked when I realise I’ve pinned Alex to the wall by her throat. I move to pull my hand away but my life places hers on top of it, keeping it there as her eyes explode with the first whispers of climax. My surprise at Alex's reaction is only halted when my own body begins to tremble under the constant assault to my senses. My blood boils over as the whispers become bellowing crescendos as the orgasm rips thru me with such force, I tighten my grip on my Omega's neck to stop myself collapsing under the sheer perfection of the climax rioting thru my entire being. My lungs freeze as my billowing chest constricts in silent agony; pleading, hungering for one breath. 

‘Breathe, my Alpha,’ my life coaxes, as she inhales a soul infusing breath to stem her own collapse.

I finally succeed in inhaling several vital breaths before I take a step back from my Omega. Still holding her by the neck with one hand, I apply subtle pressure causing Alex to lower herself to her knees in front of me. I gaze hungrily at my life as her eyes shine back up at mine... waiting for my instructions. _Jesus Christ_ _! I’ve never felt more in control, more powerful_ _,_ _more Alpha_ _in my life_. These thoughts drive molten heat straight to my swollen clit as my head finally realises what my body wants, needs, _must_ _have_... _now!_

I stare into my life’s scorching cloudy blues as I nod my head slightly. Alex continues to look at me, wanting me to actually command her.

‘Touch me,’ I snarl thru gritted teeth, almost coming before she even moves, the thought alone: mind blowing. Alex immediately runs a trained finger between my dripping folds causing wave upon wave of pleasure to crash and roll thru me, making my legs quake and my vision blur. I use the wall to steady myself as my hips begin thrusting against my Omega's persistent attentions. _Jesus fucking..._ Alex’s fingers finally circle my clit, causing a devastating tsunami of ecstasy to slam thru me as my arousal flows down my inner thighs. 

My life doesn’t let up as she uses her other hand to tease my entrance. Her skilled fingers continue to stroke my desperate clit, ensuring orgasm after orgasm splits me in two. 

I can hardly breathe as my body begs for more, so much more. I rest my forehead against the wall to keep myself upright, the sight of my Omega pleasuring me too much for my senses to bear as her fingers continue to torture me. _Oh God!_ I lick my lips as yet another soul shattering climax radiates thru my core. 

‘Lick me,’ I somehow breathe as my hips thrust to meet my life’s ready mouth. As soon as her tongue laps against my engorged clit, a moan escapes my lips at the excruciating perfection of this direct stimulation. I close my eyes, my upper torso leaning into the wall as my Omega's skilled tongue brings my body to self actualization: _This... is... heaven!_ My body bows in on itself as yet another orgasm tears thru my senses. 

Eventually, I'm near collapse. It takes every fibre of my being to step away from my intent Omega. I struggle to clear my vision as I inhale and exhale deeply, trying to unfog my drugged mind enough to continue this euphoria without it killing me. 

I suddenly hear movement behind me,  then I feel something placed at my lips. ‘Swallow this,’ Alex demands, this time, as the reenergising gloop travels down my throat. My life backs me to the bed and leans my head forward, between my legs. ‘Breathe my Alpha. Round Two is coming. Don’t worry. Just breathe,’ she soothes, careful not to touch me further.

Several minutes later I’m able to find my voice. ‘Have you ever killed anyone?’ I can’t help but ask, knowing my body was on the verge of blacking out moments ago. 

‘Only fear of death stops those with no control,’ my life parrots hauntingly as I cradle her jaw in my palm.

‘We okay?’ I whisper, gazing into Alex's cloudy blues.

‘You have no idea how much of a turn on you dominating me is,’ my Omega states so huskily, I draw her to me for a light kiss that immediately turns more desperate. I pull her onto the bed, never ending the kiss as my hands roam every inch of her intoxicating body. My nails accidentally scrap against her rib cage, resulting in a deep chuckle escaping Alex's lips. _Store_ _that_ _,_ I mentally note as I push my life down hard onto the bed, pinning her arms with mine. I watch her expression turn ‘frightened’. My clit throbs anew, as I nip, bite and lick my way down her elegant neck, her collar bone, her chest, her nipples, to her belly button. I feel my life squirm beneath me which only serves to excite me further as her knee suddenly rubs against my apex.

‘God Alex!’ I breathe as I immediately come undone, her skin slick with my arousal. 

I suddenly want to attempt something but I’m unsure I’ll have the control needed to do it. My life stays submissively still as I reposition myself perpendicular to her beautiful body. I hear her gasp as she comprehends what I'm about to try. I gaze at my Omega to ensure this is okay, my body shaking as I wait for her acquiescence, until the excitement in her eyes drives me wild. 

‘Don’t touch me... until I say,’ I instruct as I begin stroking and sucking my life's clit. I soon realise my Omega's touch isn’t required as a crescendo of pleasure bursts from my core at the taste of her. I pleasure Alex for only seconds more before I reap the reward of her peak being met. I suckle her over the edge and glorify in the trembling mess she becomes as I coax her to yet another orgasm, as the last continues to echo thru her quaking form. ‘Touch me,’ I command as I continue stroking her thru her climaxes.

As soon as her fingers and mouth caress me, I truly lose it. My clit swells and contracts as I move positions again. I flip my life onto her stomach and grasp a fist full of her hair, arching her back. I quickly place the ever present member on my person before I drive myself into her, to the hilt, causing her to gasp in shock and slight pain at the surprise intrusion. As soon as Alex accepts my girth, I piston into her like my life depends on it. I hear Alex moan as each frenzied thrust coaxes us closer to oblivion. 

At that moment, I grab her supporting arms with my free hand and wrench them behind her back, imprisoning her; making her utterly helpless to my assault. ‘Yes, my _Alpha_!’ she screams. _Fucking Christ!_ My mind bellows as my life gasps into the sheets, having no option but to take my punishing thrusts. My heart bursts in my chest at the sight, a mental imagine I will never forget, as my body succumbs to the mind blowing pleasure overwhelming my senses. _This is dominance!_ I realise as I blink thru the most powerful orgasm of my life. My body rocks into my Omega, extending the soul shattering climax that threatens to utterly consume me. 

Before I can think, I release Alex’s pinned wrists but then re-pin them above her head, after tossing her onto her back. I enter her with ease, this time, as her eyes burst with heat and awe. Her expression coaxes me further as I use one hand to pin her and lower the other to her swollen clit, my thumb circling her teasingly; so at odds with the brutal thrusts of my member. 

‘Yes, Liv. God... Ye... Yes... _Yes!_ ’ Alex cries out as she is consumed by the orgasm of her life.

Eventually, my body screams for rest. I work my way back up my life's body, having made sure to make love, not just mindless, animal sex. I nuzzle her beautifully angular jaw, feeling a contented sigh rumble from her depths. 

‘Jesus, I love you Liv!’ Alex exclaims into the silent room. Her exclamation exorcizes any doubts I have. I kiss her neck in quiet acknowledgement. For my Omega, this isn’t enough. She pulls away to search my eyes, my features. ‘Do you have any idea what we’ve... _you've_ just achieved?’ My aching and exhausted body doesn’t feel up to having an intense heart to heart but I gaze at her all the same, wanting my Alex to voice her joy at our rampant sex and love making. My clit throbs on cue. _Don’t you even start!_ _I’m talking to my clit? Fuck_ _,_ _I’m tired!_

My life gazes at me in wonder, watching my features twitch thru these thoughts. I shake my head to pull myself back to the present. I look into my Omega's eyes... _th_ _at’s_ _enoug_ _h_ _._

‘You truly dominated me and I submitted, without flinching. We fulfilled our evolutionary calling, _together_ , for the first time,’ Alex states passionately as I try to keep my eyes open, amazed that she has this infusion of energy whilst I feel on the edge of death. 

I hear movement and feel something, again, pushed into my mouth. _No!_ ‘N...’ I try to argue as the gloop is pushed down my throat. I swallow before I can speak again. ‘That one was meant for you,’ I stress as I wipe my mouth.

‘Says who?’ Alex challenges.

‘Me.’

‘Well, it didn’t have my name on it and Cragen loves you,’ she counters again. _Bloody attorney_ _s_ _!_

‘But I _love_ you,’ I continue.

‘I know. I know more than ever,’ my life agrees as she kisses my lips softly. This action doesn’t have the usual affect. _Thank fuck!_

‘Please Lex. I _need_ to sleep,’ I whine, my hooded eyes heavy with exhaustion. 

I feel my life nuzzle her head under my jaw as I breathe a sigh of relief. 

A thought occurs to me. I open my eyes and pull away slightly to gaze at the most intoxicatingly beautiful being on this planet. ‘God, you're _so_ beautiful,’ I can’t stop myself. An adorable blush flushes her cheeks. ‘Would you like me to wash you?’ I offer as I look at her pointedly. Alex gazes at me like I’ve just offered her the world.

‘You're exhausted Liv...’ my Omega argues half-heartedly.

‘I want you to feel as clean as you can. Would you like me to wash you? And before you counter my argument, I’ll get a second, or tenth, wind in a minute,’ I offer again as I wait for her preference; my abdomen clenching at the smile spreading across my life's face.

‘Okay,’ says the small voice from the _real_ Alex. I immediately jump out of bed and scoop her up in my arms. I carry her to the ensuite bathroom and place her in the tub gently, mirroring my actions from after the first time we became one. 


	38. Home Truths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia and Alex talk.
> 
> Rating: Explicit Content

I hear my life huff exasperatedly as I feel her turn over to look at me. ‘Liv!’ _Shit!_ ‘If you don't tell me what's going on in that head of yours, I might have to smother you!’ she threatens evenly as she waits for me to face her. I feel her weighted gaze as her shallow breaths tickle my shoulder.  

I eventually roll onto my side to meet her impatient orbs. I swallow nervously, knowing my Omega needs her sleep, _especially_ tonight. I hate myself for being at least part of the reason she’s still awake. ‘If... if I ever hold your neck or pin your supporting arms like that again, I need to stop.’ I raise my hand to halt Alex’s ready argument. ‘It turned me on. It made me crazy. _I’m_ uncomfortable with that... Your actions suggested you didn’t mind but I... my head... I didn’t like that I _liked_ it,’ I stress as my life bites her lip to restrain herself until I’m finished. ‘Thinking about it, you looking frightened _really_ disturbed me,’ I watch as Alex opens her mouth. I place an index finger at her lips to silence her. ‘It was like speed to my crotch. I... I liked that feeling too much. My body craved it but my head... I didn't always check in to make sure you were okay, to make sure you weren’t _actually_ frightened. Especially the second time, when I pinned you.’ I can’t read my Omega's expression in the darkness. It scares me more than my confession. ‘Right now I feel like the biggest dick!’ Sweat beads my forehead, knowing this isn't a conversation for the night before my reason for living attends court to fight a case prosecuting her own rapists. _Fucking timing,_ _Liv!_  

Alex looks at me for a full minute, waiting to make sure I’m truly finished before she tears my world apart. When she finally speaks, my heart trembles in shocked awe. ‘Okay,’ she whispers, as she starts caressing my cheek. ‘I’ve been selfish and only thought about my needs, what _I’m_ comfortable with. I wrongly thought you’d be comfortable with anything...’ my life admits as I grasp her hand and kiss each knuckle in turn. ‘I... I suppose I’m used to Alphas, Betas, even Omegas taking what they want, and never being uncomfortable in doing so...’ As my eyes acclimatize to the darkness, I make out the confusion dancing across Alex's features. 

‘Hey, sweetie?’ I refocus her. ‘I want us to heal together. I never want you to feel you need to act _frightened_ to turn me on... I... it leaves me feeling like... like I’ve raped you,’ I finally voice it, my truth.  

‘Liv...’ my Omega breathes as she reaches for me with her free hand. 

‘Please...’ Alex withdraws it quickly, knowing I need space and time. ‘I love you. I _need_ you to know that. But my mind and body are in flux. My body _was_ insanely turned on by your... you being frightened... by pinning you down... _God_ , I’m _so_ sorry for that. _Please_ forgive me,’ I look into her eyes imploring. ‘My head doesn’t want to be like every other Alpha. I want to be _your_ Alpha, who treats you with respect...’ 

‘You are my Alpha and you do...’ my life can't help but argue. 

‘Not enough,’ I counter firmly. ‘You’re so used to being abused,’ I kiss the back of her hand to maintain our physical connection thru this heinous conversation. ‘I’m so unused to being sexually dominant, I think our boundaries have and could continue to blur to the extent that I’m terrified I’m going to hurt you and not even notice in the moment. Or I might hurt you but you’ll compare it to your previous assaults and let it go as acceptable even if it’s... not-t...’ I stutter as a sob catches in my throat. Alex squeezes my hand as her eyes burst with emotions. ‘I’m absolutely terrified we'll get to the stage where I’m being overtly violent with you. I _was_ violent with you. It's _not_ right Lex. And I’m _not_ comfortable with it. You deserve so much more than a hand squeezing your throat and a partner who's turned on by you being scared of her!’ I stop to catch my breath. My life remains submissively quiet, her eyes gleaming with tears as she reaches for me again and starts running her fingers thru my hair. Her touch is enough. _S_ _he’s still here, lying_ _next to_ _me, even after all I’ve said_ _, all I’ve done_ _._ ‘I'm scared the only sex you know is rough, violent. I want to change that. I’m so sorry, my love.’ 

‘You are changing that, my Olivia,’ she whispers defiantly as she kisses me. ‘You are the only person to bring me to wilful orgasm. You are the only person to make love to me. God _damn_ it, I love you!’ My Omega’s eyes shine with such fierce intensity, I’m ridiculously thankful my bodies sated. ‘You have _never_ raped me. You saw my reaction when Peter... when... during hell...’ Alex pauses to catch her breath. ‘I didn’t shout ‘Teflon’ because I feel _safe_ with you. You never stepped over...’ 

‘But I stepped over _my_ boundaries,’ I interrupt her more heatedly than I intended. ‘This is my point,’ I bite my lip before voicing my next truth. _Fuck!_ ‘I’m unsure where your boundaries fall after all the abuse you’ve suffered. I’m unsure where my boundaries stand during the heat of the moment.’ I don’t retreat from Alex’s gaze as she stares at me with an expression I’ve never seen before in her eyes. My heart stops, wishing I could rewind this entire evening as I watch my life’s cogs whir silently. She inhales a steadying breath as she gazes into my soul, her fingers continuing to thread thru my cropped hair. 

‘I think this is something George will have to help us with as I don’t know what to say other than I love you, you’ve never hurt me and I am _not_ frightened of you,’ my Omega stresses as she moves to cradle my face. ‘I can't stand the thought of you ever thinking you’re raping me. Whenever we're intimate, I use instinct alone; my primal needs, pure and simple. I want you to ravage me... No, there’s a difference,’ my life clarifies as my mind silently chews her wording. ‘I know my place in the world. _Christ_ , I know that. But do you, Liv?’ she asks. ‘How did/does your body feel after last night?’ _Exhausted but like I’d finally reach_ _ed_ _self-actualization._ ‘You are the most incredible Alpha I’ve ever meet...’ 

‘Formerly the most powerful...’ I make an attempt at humour to lighten the mood. Alex gives me a withering look. 

‘Don’t think about her. This is about us and only us.’ I blush at the scolding. ‘All I can suggest is you use ‘Teflon’, or a word of your choice, if you’re uncomfortable, okay? It was never meant to be just my safe word,’ my life suggests something so simple but it is telling of our positions in the hierarchy. _Neither of us ever expected me, the Alpha_ _,_ _to use it._    

I marvel at my Omega's strength. _It feels so wrong_ _that_ _she’s comforting me._ She notices me frown at the absurdity of it as her fingers trace the creases on my forehead. ‘Please tell me if I’m being precious,’ I half joke, feeling strangely emasculated, thinking _my life has enough_ _on her mind_ _._ _.._  

‘Hey! My Alpha, listen to me!’ Alex stops stroking my hair. ‘You are allowed to feel. You don’t need to prove anything. You've already done so, many times over. If I didn’t listen to you feeling uncomfortable, how can I ever expect you to do the same for me. You’re ridiculous Liv,’ my life teases as she kisses me. _I can’t_ _argue that_.  

I clear my throat dramatically to reaffirm my dominant position causing Alex to laugh, knowing exactly what I’m doing. 

‘I can’t lose you,’ my life suddenly says in a quiet voice so at odds with her usual icy steel. My heart constricts painfully as she pulls me to her. ‘I can’t lose you,’ she says again as tears begin to flow down her cheeks. 

‘You’ll _never_ lose me,’ I reassure her as she nuzzles my cheek, needing to feel me, to feel close to me. 

‘Make love to me Liv, _please_ ,’ Alex begs as I pull away slightly to cradle her face. I do as I’m told.  


	39. Voir Dire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after the night before.  
> Can the courtcase finally begin?
> 
> Rating: Mature Content

We finally had a few hours sleep, intertwined in each other arms. Whenever Alex moved slightly, my grip tightened. Anytime I moved, I felt her clutch me desperately.  

I wake to my life watching me; her eyes gleaming with unshed tears as she kisses my forehead. _I’m yours_ _._ ‘Morning,’ I murmur, knowing nothing about this morning is good. My Omega nestles herself into me, her head in the crook of my neck as I wrap by arms around her in a silent embrace of comfort, resignation and reassurance. ‘We okay?’ I ask heavily, waiting anxiously for a sign, _any_ sign. My heart slams into my rib cage when I feel Alex snuggle her head deeper into my jaw. ‘I’m here and always will be,’ I state firmly as my arms stroke her sides.  

I feel Alex nuzzle even closer, a limpet to my rock, as I feel her body shudder. My heart breaks. My life doesn’t need to voice it. We both know how terrified she is, we both are. _The day of our nightmares has finally come._  

 

When we emerge from our sanctuary, we find Fin eating at the breakfast bar, his face flushed with embarrassment. _Shit_ _!_ ‘Sorry Fin, erm... just truly, mortally sorry,’ I acknowledge his obvious unease, knowing he heard us last night. Alex stays quiet, hiding her face deep in the fridge as she searches for something to eat. When she finally faces us, her features are deathly pale, not the expected crimson.  

‘We good?’ Fin offers as he patiently waits for Alex to make eye contact. _I_ _realise_ _it_ _’s_ _her forced_ _state of undress and humiliation_ _at the hands of the underling,_ _which_ _Fin was_ _privy to,_ _that_ _is troubling her_. She finally meets his gaze, nodding her head once and placing an affirming hand on his wrist before she joins him at the table, placing three yogurts in front of us.  

I shake my head, knowing this won't be enough for the day ahead. I rifle thru the fridge, finding bacon and eggs. I cook as Alex and Fin plan out the next few hours. 

‘Liz?’  

‘She left last night. Didn't want your case falling apart if all you showed up together holdin’ hands,’ Fin explains as he sips his orange juice. _I can’t get used to seeing him in a domestic environment_.  

‘Did she tell y..?’  

‘Yup. You’ll be going in the judge’s entrance to meet Liz and the three bell-ends,’ _Apt_ , I think. ‘Then, if you don’t kill them, you’ll...’ 

‘Voir dire,’ Alex finishes for him. I turn to her, confused. She looks at me with such open adoration, I have to take a step back to stop myself enveloping her in my arms forever. ‘Jury selection: ‘To speak the truth,” my life clarifies as my palms moisten at the number of unknown quantities the jury, let alone the entire court house will contain. I swallow thickly and distract myself with the delicious scent of cooking bacon to stop my hands shaking.  

‘You thinkin’ closed court?’ Fin asks as my eyes begin to sting. I blame it on the bacon. 

‘It depends on how sadistic the creeps decide to be,’ Alex answers plainly, knowing her wishes only hold a certain level of sway. ‘If they argue it and I’m...’ I feel her eyes penetrate my back as she stops herself saying it. ‘... they’d be found guilty of...’  

‘ _Lex_ ,’ I breathe, wishing to prevent this particular topic gaining any further momentum. ‘Surely it _ha_ _s_ to be a closed hearing?!’ I stress as I turn to them. 

‘My grandmother’s wasn’t,’ Alex utters the words I hadn’t realised I'd been dreading. I gaze into her terrified eyes as Fin shakes his head in disgust. 

‘So Liz wasn’t able to...’ 

‘Don’t blame her for their archaic beliefs back then,’ my life immediately comes to Donnelly’s defence, tripping my nerves.  

‘Which were?’ I question her testily; us both completely aware of the reason behind my anger.

‘That a women riddled with pelvic injuries, only ever seen in long term prostitutes, didn’t deserve such a thing as privacy!’ Alex counters, anguish written all over her face, immediately dampening my ire. _Fuck!_  

I instantly drop the spatula, _screw the food,_ and approach my life cautiously. She gives me the tightest nod before I cradle her face in my hands. ‘I’m sorry,’ I say simply, my eyes gazing into her soul as I silently communicate how much I love her. I wait until Alex runs her fingers thru my hair before I kiss her lips delicately.  

I know many reasons why my ire was ignited. I know many reasons why my ire will continue to be ignited before this is... _I_ _daren’t_ _think it_. 

I hear the sizzle of meat fat and smell over-cooked bacon. _Shit!_ I pull away from my Omega and turn back to our breakfast. 

‘Liv?’ my life utters. _What’s coming?_ I think nervously as I plate up. ‘Thank you,’ they both say in unison. Before Alex picks up her fork, she returns her gaze to me. ‘Liv, you can’t come with me today.’ 

 

Twenty minutes later, Fin and Alex are taking one car and I'm driving the other to the City Courthouse. _There_ _i_ _s no way in hell Alex_ _i_ _s putting the case before her own personal safety._  

I purposely slow down to arrive five minutes behind them, even though it kills me to do so.  

On spying the crowds, my stomach lurches. I check my cell. Alex: _In_ _side. Safe_. I sigh with palpable relief as I park, blocking in a journalist van, and not caring less about it.  

I walk at a brisk pace towards the mob. My heart hammers, my mouth is bone dry, my palms drip with sweat, knowing I’m two beats away from a panic attack. _Breathe Liv,_ I mantra as the mob engulfs me; cameras, bodies and questions spin around me, fighting for my attention as I keep my stride. My already crawling skin freezes when an alien hand starts massaging my bottom... _the fuck?_ I’m torn between challenging this pervert and pushing on to the relative safety of the court house. Finally, I grab my cuffs and efficiently wrap one set around the pervs wrist whilst still maintaining my step. _No one fucks with me today!_ I drag the pervert along behind me as I finally push thru the entrance; the guards holding the press back. 

I turn quickly to face my most recent abuser. _He must be 40 and should know fucking better!_ I stare at him scathingly. ‘You realise you just sexually assaulted a police officer?’ I growl, seething. I’m amazed at the infallible tone in my voice considering my insides are a quivering mess. The perv just stares back. ‘Book him,’ I direct one of the court guard cops, handing him over and turning away before I lose what little resolve I have left. _I need help_ , I acknowledge before I distract and refocus myself: _Alex_. 

I stalk towards Donnelly's chambers; my heart rate spiking when my life’s achingly intoxicating scent fills my nostrils. This calm is abruptly crushed by the obvious fact that _if I can smell her, can everybody else?_ I near run the last steps to Fin who is keeping vigil outside the door.  

He looks at me quizzically. ‘Sit Liv.’ It’s not a request. I sit on the nearest bench. ‘Breathe,’ he suggests comfortingly as my vision blurs slightly.  

‘Can you smell her?’ I ask desperately. 

‘No,’ Fin answers immediately, a frown shadowing his features. _Would an Omega..? I need to ask an Alpha._ _Liz_. ‘Liv!’ Fin regains my attention. ‘Calm the fuck down!’ This tough love approach has the desired effect.  

After a few deep breaths, I nod. ‘Thanks Fin.’ He shrugs nonchalantly.  

‘Wanna talk about it?’ he offers, guessing the subject matter. I shake my head as I stand, my focus on the oak door between us and my Omega. _Alex is alone with three, possibly four, potential abusers_. I attempt to stop my hands clawing at the wood, _splinters be damned._ I rest my forehead against it, breathing in my life’s scent. Knowing she can smell mine provides me some comfort. _My_ _Alex._  

I almost face plant Buchanan when the door is suddenly wrenched open. 

‘Counsellor,’ I acknowledge him in a tight voice. His expression contorts in rage. 

‘Get out of my way Detective,’ he seethes, proceeding to barge past me when I don’t offer enough room for his girth. Defence Creep and Kressler follow, their body language causing my heart to ricochet in celebration. _Somethings gone_ _my Omega_ _’s way_ _... for once!_  

I turn in search of my life. She’s standing in the middle of Donnelly’s chambers looking magnificently fierce, a victorious edge to her stance as her eyes meet and hold mine. _God!_ My head exclaims, drinking in the enthralling sight of a triumphantly smug Alexandra Cabot.  

I step toward her, like a magnet to my counterpoint, until the door is unceremoniously slammed in my face by an approaching Donnelly. 

Minutes later, my life exits the chambers. My body moves of its own volition to keep stride with her, Fin following close behind us. For several moments, we're completely unaware of the commotion we're causing. ‘Closed,’ she whispers with steely determination and barely concealed relief as I bite my lip to stop myself kissing her in front of this crowded and gawking courthouse. She glances sideways at me as we make our way to the courtroom for jury selection. ‘You okay?’ Awe and guilt course thru my abdomen at her incredible intuition, even whilst under insurmountable pressure.  

I keep my head facing forward as we near the courtroom entrance. ‘Fine. I’m so proud of you,’ I whisper as she and Fin pass me. My fingers curl around the door frame as I watch my life's form disappear behind the door. Only when I begin prying off the frame, do I realise _I need_ _a ton of stress balls to busy my hands for the next few weeks_ _, possible for the rest of my life._   

I’m so deep in thought that I somehow don’t notice my life standing right front of me. My body tingles with desire and ‘hidden' appreciation as Alex stares at me with her icy indifference. ‘You coming?’ Only her tone betrays her as she swiftly turns back to the entrance, to prevent the staring hordes cornering us. I don’t argue as I follow her into the less crowded courtroom.  

I notice Fin sat directly behind the defence. _Good!_ Our eyes meet briefly before I scan the rest of the room.  

The potential jurors are sat three metres from Alex.. _._ _t_ _oo close_... behind a wooden bar, numbered tags on their lapels; a mixed demographic of todays America. I weigh up each individual in turn before I vet the court guards, potentially the most dangerous, unknown quantities, graced with weapons. Then the bailiff and the diction typist.  

Finally, I evaluate the three creeps who look suitably flustered after Donnelly’s private ruling. I can’t help smiling at their ruddy, deflated faces. Defence Creep glares at me. _Who’s the b_ _itch_ _now?_ _!_  

I wait for Alex to put her bag, note pads and pens down before I sit directly behind her; Fin and I separated by several seats and the aisle way.  

‘All rise.’ We stand. ‘The Supreme Court of New York County is now in session, the Honorable Judge Elizabeth Donnelly presiding.’ 

I watch my life’s shoulders rise and fall subtly as the judge’s door swings open. Donnelly strides to her chair with an air of supreme confidence only a true Alpha can exude. Her eyes find mine. I half expect to be thrown out, given her near disgusted expression. I squirm under her withering scrutiny. _Jesus_ _!_ Then I remember this is her resting face. I still sigh heavily once Donnelly surveys the rest of the courtroom.  

‘Sit,’ Donnelly barks with such disdain, I wonder whether she likes anyone, anything.  

‘Lionel Granger, Attorney for the Defence, defending Mr Bob Ashton,’ Defence Creep identifies himself theatrically. ‘I have severe reservations regarding Detective Olivia Benson’s attend...' 

‘Objection!’ Alex stands immediately, fiercely coming to my defence. My lungs seize in wonder and concern. ‘Side bar, Your Honour.’ Donnelly gestures for the four attorneys to approach. I hear hushed arguments and counters until Donnelly retakes control. My heart jumps out of my chest as I wait for the guillotine to fall. _Please!_  

‘I know what you’re doing Lionel. Your concerns _are_ now on the record. Happy? Now stop playing games and never bring matters already discussed in chambers to open court again! Clear?’ 

 _Maybe a_ n _ally_ _after all._  


	40. Battle of Wills

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Does Alex achieve the jury selection she fights for?  
> A lot of Olivia/Alex being feisty, loving, strong, immense women.
> 
> Rating: Explicit Content

Jury selection turned out to be a tortuous and exhausting task. All three creeps kept badgering and rebutting Alex, each and every time she argued a certain jurors suitability for the case. Several times, I dug my nails into my palms to stop myself killing them. _Creepin_ _'_ _mongrels!_  

The selection process lasted four excruciating hours until finally, they had their 12: four men, eight women, of varying ages and descents.  

I survey them, pleased Alex succeeded in gaining more women than men; firstly to reduce the bodily risk to herself, but also to hopefully acquire more empathy. My life fought for older and then similar aged women: those who may remember her grandmother’s case, her mother’s suicide and those who could place themselves most easily in Alex's shoes. 

 

As Donnelly and the jury leave the courtroom, Alex sits motionless in her chair for several minutes. I survey the room, watching each potential threat leave until only Alex, Fin, a court guard and myself remain. I finally stand and approach my spirited Omega, the omnipresent heat surging between my legs.  

My life is pinching the bridge of her nose, her glasses dangling in one hand. ‘Lex?’ I call softly making sure I'm in her line of vision so as not to spook her. My life slowly raises her glazed eyes, her faraway expression only clearing once her orbs meet mine. Alex snaps out of her trance, her lips drawing into a tired smile as she drinks me in. _Oh_ _Alex._ My clit shudders and my heart melts at the exhausted heat blazing in her magnificently fierce eyes, as she surveys me. 

‘Get me out of here, Liv,’ she whispers, standing and quickly filing all the paperwork and case notes into her bag.  

‘Yes Ma'am.’ 

 

We're laid on the bed, my fingers softly caressing Alex's temples as I watch her snooze beside me.  

‘Lex?’ I whisper quietly, knowing my Omega's awake. 

‘Mmm?’  

‘What happened in Liz’s chambers?’ This question having been on my mind since Donnelly slammed the door in my face. 

My life opens her cloudy blue eyes and frowns at me. ‘ _Please_ Liv. I'm exhausted,’ Alex sighs as she snuggles into me.  

‘Did any of them hurt you?’ I have to ask as I thread my fingers thru her flaxen mane. 

‘No. Liz would have killed them,’ my Omega answers, her breath tickling my skin. 

‘Fucking Liz!’ I bite my lip, regretting saying it as soon as it’s out my mouth. _Fuck!_ ‘I’m sorry.’ 

Alex pulls away to look at me. ‘I... I don’t understand,’ she stutters, unsure of my meaning, confusion marring her features. 

‘Shit!’ I mutter, hating myself for the worry I’m causing. I lick my lips to punctuate the heaviness in the room. ‘I don’t trust Donnelly... I... just... please don’t let your guard down with her. That’s all I ask,’ I stress, hoping Alex understands my reasoning. 

I'm surprised when she breaks into a mesmerizing smile. I'm entranced for several moments. _Jesus_. ‘Liz isn't _you_ , you jealous little Alpha,’ my life teases, completely blind-siding me before a shadow crosses her face. ‘And I know exactly the impact I have on her. I'm forever wary, my love; apart from when I’m with you.’ _What?!_  

‘What?’ I ask in a tone harsher than I intended. ‘What impact?’ I growl, my teeth bared in anger. 

‘Liz isn’t entirely straight, but my pull is slightly less powerful to her than it is to you, because she isn’t a red blooded lesbian,’ Alex explains as though I should know. ‘I didn’t tell you because I knew you would react like this,’ my life confesses. 

‘Like what?’ I query, trying to bite back my anger. 

‘ _This!’_ Alex doesn’t back down as she stares me out. _We both know I’m being_ _j_ _ealous_ _and_ _over protective._ ‘I'm still trying to get a read on her but previous experience and gut instinct tells me she would have forced herself on me by now if...’ 

‘By now? Can you... do you _remember_ how calculating _that_ underling freak was?’ I ask rhetorically. 

‘ _Yes_ , Liv. I was _there_ remember?’ I have the grace to be embarrassed. ‘I’m saying I’m never off my guard Liv. _Ever_ , until you. Do you have any idea how incredible it is to _have_ that rest bite for the first time since I was a little girl?’ Alex stresses as she cradles my jaw. ‘For _Christ's_ sake Olivia! I _know_ danger more than you _ever_ will! I’ll never be lacks in my judgement of risk because, funnily enough, I don’t want to be raped again!’ The reigns on my life's anger snap as a torrent of rage bursts from her core. She gets off the bed and paces the bedroom as her seething fire erupts. ‘I don’t want to be _touched_ again, threatened again... What I wouldn’t give for one day, _one_ fucking day, where I could walk the streets, hold my head up high and walk thru the crowds with my elbows sticking out, barging past strangers, like any other New Yorker, without fear I’ll be gang raped right there on the sidewalk! What I wouldn’t give to be able to go dancing, to enjoy music outside of my own home, to be able to celebrate birthdays, engagements, weddings and truly let myself go on the dance floor without wondering who will grope me, try to kiss me, rape me. _Jesus_ Liv!’ My Omega runs a hand thru her hair distractedly as I stay back and watch with soul shattering awe as her spirited fire blazes on. ‘I want to be able to get in a cab, a lift, _hell_ , even my own office, without wondering whether I'll leave them alive!’ My life stops to breathe. ‘The night I was attacked?’ I nod my head in utter affirmation. _How can I ever forget the_ _night_ _Alexandra Cabot almost died_ _;_ _was brutalized so savagely, doctors couldn’t_ _believe she_ _survived._ ‘That _fucking_ Christmas party! My boss pretty much said come or he'd fire me. I went, was groped and then...’ Alex bites her lip as tears begin to fall down her cheeks. She brushes them away impatiently, her anger not yet sated. ‘Why am I doing this Liv? What the actual _fuck_ am I doing?’ I know not to answer. ‘Today has shown me just how far those animals will go to humiliate and discredit me! And that’s why I trust Liz. She’s the only reason I haven't been sectioned. The only reason we haven’t been separated until after the trial and the _only_ reason you were and will continue to be allowed into the courtroom to protect me! Is _that_ the work of an enemy?’ This time, I know my life wants an answer. Alex stares at me with such spirited passion, I have to catch my breath before I find my voice. 

‘No,’ is all I can say. 

This one word extinguishes her rage. The adrenaline of moments before, gives way to exhaustion as my life crawls back onto the bed. ‘You are the _only_ reason I’m still alive. You are my _only_ reason for living. I _love_ you, you stupid, pig headed arse!’ Alex mutters into my neck as she punches me lightly in the ribs. 

‘I’m sorry,’ I apologise, knowing I am _that_ stupid, pig headed arse.  

Alex lifts her head to gaze into my eyes. ‘Stop apologising. I can only imagine how hard it is for you; your Omega parading in front of any number of potential lusty suitors, whilst you’re trying to protect me and silence your own need long enough to think.’ I can’t help but smile at my life’s worthy synopsis of my predicament. _If only it was half as bad as hers..._  

I kiss her, revelling in her taste as my body tingles with intoxicating endorphins. _Christ Alex!_ I search her eyes for acquiesce before I lie on top of her, deepening the kiss as my hands cup her bottom... I freeze. _No_ _!_  

I straighten abruptly, my body shaking as I try to rid it of that pervert assholes touch.  

‘Liv, breathe sweetie, breathe. Talk to me,’ Alex soothes as she sits up next to me, knowing not to touch me. 

I curve my body in on itself until I’m leaning into my own lap, my arms encircling my carves, my head resting on my knees. I take some deep breaths. ‘Walking thru the crowds today... some pervert groped my butt and it almost sent me back...’ _to hell_ , I leave unspoken. 

‘That son of a bitch!’ 

‘I booked him.’  

Alex's proud chuckle fills the room. ‘Good.’ I feel so pathetic as my Omega moves to cradle me from behind. ‘My life, you will _always_ be my Alpha. No one’s immune to being groped, raped. _No one._ It doesn’t make you any less of a person, an Alpha, _my_ Alpha...’ 

‘Why is saying that to victims so easy, so natural but to hear it as a... as one... so...’ I can’t finish the sentence; my chest shuddering, my lungs seizing as tears rivet down my face.  

Only when Alex gets off the bed and crouches in front of me do I see renewed tears moistening her beautiful features. She takes my hands in hers. ‘You’re so focused on protecting and supporting me that you’re completely ignoring the fact you're hurting too. _I'm_ here for you, any time of the day or night. Always...’  

I gaze into her watery orbs as I grasp her cheek and thumb the tears away. ‘Compared to what you’ve been...’ 

‘Don’t shut me out because you think I’ve experienced worse. My life revolves around rape. Yours doesn't. Therefore, the shock and damage to our systems is different. I’m not saying I’m _used_ to it. _F_ _ar from it!_ But you have an unconsciously innate superiority over most other beings. The damage such a heinous act as rape can do to our polar psyches is horrifying. Rape is rape, no matter the victim. I'm _more_ than qualified to comfort you thru this and I will, if you allow me to,’ Alex finishes as she tucks a stray hair behind my ear. ‘I love you.’ She kisses my forehead as my heart shatters, utterly in awe of my Omega's spirit. 

‘You’re the most beautiful being I've ever known, inside and out,’ I state forcefully, wishing I could be as eloquent as my life partner. Alex smiles her earth stopping smile as my insides burn with scorching arousal. ‘Is it wrong that I want to kiss you right now?’ My life stares at me with such wanton heat, I whimper as sparks of desire stoke my willing sex. 

‘I thought you’d never ask,’ Alex sighs in relief as her mouth covers mine with the softest, most loving kiss I’ve ever tasted.  

I pull her back with me on to the bed, her body on top of mine, as our lips and tongues wage a civil war, heightening our already blazing arousal. I let my hands roam her body until they lay to rest on her buttocks once more. Alex rubs her clothed cheeks into my palms as I squeeze and fondle them playfully, gaining a moan from my life. My Omega moves up my body to straddle me, her blazing eyes scorching mine as she removes her shirt and bra slowly, letting me revel in her breath-taking radiance, before she pulls my top over my head. Once Alex has successfully bared my torso, she leans down and kisses a tantalizing trail from my lips, down my neck column, to my aching nipples. Alex takes my nub in her mouth, suckling it seductively as my body shudders thru her teasing. _Oh my God!_ Her fingers clasp my other nipple and coax it playfully whilst her free hand begins undoing my jeans. _Fucking..._ my mind screams unintelligibly as Alex's mouth and hands taunt my desire ridden form. My heart beat deafens me as my life’s hand delves inside my panties. She cups me for a tortuous moment, coaxing my panting chest to breaking point as my clit begs, screams for one stroke, for release! _God!_ As my Omega continues to torment me, I realise she wants me to beg. Alex's mouth suddenly frees my taut nipple, her eyes challenging me to break. _Please_ _!_ My body is on fire as I try to buck against her in my desire for release. When my life’s fingers squeeze me firmly to prevent me gaining friction, I openly cry out in frustration.  

‘Say it,’ Alex taunts me. 

‘Wh... what?’ my animal brain can’t compute anything beyond her frozen hand. 

‘Say it!’ my life demands as my body quivers under her. 

‘Teflon?’ I shout, feeling my Omega’s laughter before it reaches her throat, her hand vibrating slightly against me as she giggles fitfully.  

‘No. _Jesus_ Olivia! Whose am I?’ Alex spells it out for me. 

‘ _Mine!_ _’_ I scream. 

‘And who owns you?’ I can hardly breathe. 

‘ _You!_ ’ I bellow as her fingers finally begin stroking my clit. My life circles me purposefully slowly so each earth shattering wave of pleasure builds and builds before crashing in a crescendo of release so perfect, my entire body thrashes with the power of my mind-blowingly intense climaxes. 

Alex continues caressing me as she nuzzles my neck, nibbling my flesh as my body seizes and arches thru relentless euphoria.  

My body is completely at my Omega's mercy as she starts rubbing herself against my jeaned thigh, her black pants thin and damp with searing arousal. I feel Alex whimper into my neck as she ruts against me, desperately seeking her own oblivion.  

Somehow, I find the strength to straighten my arm, my fingers tracing her clothed sex. Feeling her wetness, I'm instantly wracked by a further orgasm, my arousal soaring as Alex comes in my hand. 

Neither of us relent as we stroke each other into a frenzy, our cores swelling and contracting thru climax after earth shattering climax, our bodies hooked on the unimaginable feeling of relentless pleasure.  

We hit a stale mate; neither of us giving up as our tenacious fingers continue to stroke, tickle and caress our life partner to the point my body screams for Alex to stop. Each twitch of my life's fingers makes me wince in conflict: _in wanting_ _more,_ _so much_ _more_ _whilst_ _my_ _lung_ _s_ _plead for oxygen,_ _my mouth_ _for water_ _,_ _m_ _y_ _muscles_ _for calm_ _!_  

 _‘_ _Tef_ _..._ _lon_ _!_ _’_ I bellow so loudly, my life snaps her head up to make sure I’m not panicking. I breathe deep sighs of relief as my life's fingers finally desist their torture, a sheen of sweat covering our bodies as my Omega gazes into my eyes triumphantly between pants. ‘You absolute _he_ _a_ _then_ _!’_ I mutter, inhaling a lung spluttering breath, having just realised exactly what Alex was doing.  

‘See how easy that was?’ my life giggles, the knowing laughter of a smug victor, as she dons her robe in search of sustenance to replenish our depleted energy stores. 


	41. Opening Statements

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trial continues...
> 
> Rating: Mature Content

I follow close behind my Omega as we approach the courtroom. The stench of the dregs of society violates our senses as we enter. I immediately fathom three reasons why. I feel rather than see Alex pause momentarily, her eyes taking in the strays; dressed in expensive suits and seemingly the epitome of class and law abiding citizen. I watch her swallow thickly, my hand ready to assist her going forward but before I can touch her, my life proves again exactly the kind of woman she is by taking first one, then another step towards the gates of hell that this trial is bound to be.  

All three perps make a point of staring hungrily at Alex, _to stoke our nerves_ _?_ _To play the game? Who know_ _s._ It takes every single fibre of my control to not shoot them and bathe in their blood.  

Alex strides purposefully towards her desk and begins arranging her case notes, pads and pens, _a calming and focusing technique_ I soon realise, when my Omega changes each items position slightly for the thirtieth time. _I love you,_ _I love you. I’m here_ _. You're so strong. You will win. I love you, I love...._ I mantra, my eyes boring into my life’s back before I survey the room. 

Beyond the three strays, there are two other unknown quantities present. I eye Fin who dutifully challenges them. 

My ear piece activates for the first time. ‘Tony Mill, Reporter for The New York Times and Faye Potter, character artist. I though’ this was a closed case?’ Fin's Bronx drawl fills my ear. I nod in agreement, knowing it’s bull allowing the media in here. ‘They have passes,’ Fin adds quickly, knowing I’m seconds away from interrogating them. _Who_ _the hell_ _let them in?_   

 

I observe from directly behind Alex's chair as Donnelly makes yet another sweeping entrance. _Bitch!_ my mind shouts, knowing now without a doubt, Liz _is_ a threat to my Omega, to our relationship and the only thing stopping her from ruining us are the private thoughts in her own head.  

This time, I meet her withering gaze head on, gaining a rueful smirk for my efforts before she takes in the room. My hackles rise still further, hating her pity, her stronger genes. I growl internally.

We sit at her command. ‘This case is a highly sort after story. As a result, all mobile phones ( _except Alex_ _’s, Fin’s_ _and mine,_ I think wryly) have been confiscated for the duration of the trial,’ Donnelly begins. Even with this small mercy, Liz remains purposely low in my estimations. ‘Mr Mills and Ms Potter have been given strict instructions to report certain facts only,’ Liz adds, looking at me. ‘Today, we are trying the case of Alexandra Cabot vs Bob Ashton, Joel Ashton and Ray Daniels,’ _and Lionel Granger, John_ _Buchannan_ _,_ _Roger_ _Kressler_ _and a third of New York,_ my mind seethes. I take a deep breath to steady myself. I watch as my life does the same. ‘You,’ Donnelly turns to the jury. ‘... will be housed in secret for the duration of this trial. Any external communications will lead to your immediate arrest and certain prosecution. Do I make myself clear?’ A mixture of terror and chilling anticipation cross their features as the jury nod in unison. 'Have you all read the criminal definitions made available to you?' The jury affirm. ‘In that case, the charges are as follows...’ I hear several people clear their throats as my life stares straight ahead. I can feel the excitement, the tension in the room. ’...3 counts of predatory sexual assault carrying sentences of 10-25 years each,  3 counts of aggravated sexual assault in the first degree (5-25 years)...’ Audible gasps permeate the courtroom. _Yes, my life was brutalized, people!_  ‘... 3 counts of aggravated assault (8-15 years) and 3 counts of false imprisonment (1-3 year sentence).’ _Breathe_. ‘Only unanimous verdicts of Guilty or Not Guilty will be accepted in this courtroom,’ Donnelly finishes her harrowing introduction to this case. The room is silent for over a minute as everyone’s eyes descend on Alex. My heart implodes. ‘Opening statements,’ Donnelly eventually barks. 

My omega stands, her shoulders squared and her stance resolute as she keeps her eyes facing forward. ‘Good morning, Your Honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my name is Alexandra Cabot and I am representing the State of New York in this case,’ Alex introduces herself unnecessarily, everyone present knowing exactly who she is. I feel the room’s heartbeat quicken as each person drinks in my life’s stunning beauty and the intoxicatingly deep pitch of her dulcet tones. _Shit!_ I dig my nails into my palms to restrain my carnal and overwhelmingly protective urges. ‘Between 9.40pm on 17 th December 20-- and, I was told, 4.58am on 18th December 20--, the defendants committed the afore mentioned crimes of predatory sexual assault, aggravated sexual assault in the first degree, aggravated assault and false imprisonment. During this trial, you will hear from the victim, who will tell you in her own words what happened and how the defendants hurt her by their heinous, criminal actions,’ Alex pauses to make eye contact with as many jurors as she can handle. _Breath, my love. Connections. Make Connections._ ‘You will also hear from witnesses describing the incident. Along with police officer testimony, I will prove to you that the defendants are guilty on all counts. Thank you,’ my life finishes and sits down gracefully, her back ramrod straight but her aura otherwise heart-warmingly composed as we wait for the defence to throw their hand grenades.

Lionel Granger stands abruptly and walks aggressively towards the jury bench. ‘Ladies and gentlemen. Lionel Granger, Defence Attorney representing defendant Bob Ashton. You have just been promised by a supremely _impartial_ victim prosecutor that she will prove Bob Ashton systematically imprisoned, raped and assaulted her. I will prove Mr Ashton Senior was seduced and cajoled by the victim into carrying out a long desired rape fantasy...’ I bite my lip so hard I taste metal as nauseating disgust creeps up my oesophagus. ‘We will prove the defendants were acting on the victims pull, her desires when they allegedly ‘raped’ her.’ I grab the wooden bar in front of me so as not to throttle the _c_ _reep_ when he theatrically uses quotation marks. ‘We will call into question the victim’s mental state and her obvious need for attention, even if it means videoing herself being manhandled and making not so subtle hints during a press conference.’ Rage consumes my heart. _You..._ _Alex brought up her grandmother’s case. Thank you for reminding the jury_ _,_ _moron!_  

‘Objection!’ Alex exclaims passionately. I feel the entire room shudder. _No._  

‘Testy are we? We haven’t even star...’ Defence Creep goads my Omega as he takes a step towards her. 

‘Lionel!’ Donnelly brings him back in line. 

Granger backs off and continues his opening statement. ‘The defence will ensure these poor men are acquitted and these heinous allegations quashed. We have every intention of taking the _victim_ to court for _her_ heinous campaign of deformation against our client’s characters. Thank you.’ _You bastard!_  

‘Liv,’ I hear Fin whisper in my ear. I turn to him quickly. He eyes my hand, wrapped around the bar in front of me so tightly, my knuckle scabs have split open. _Shit!_  

‘Ladies and gentleman, John Buchannan, Defence Attorney representing defendant Joel Ashton. I agree with everything my esteemed colleague has mentioned. This case will focus on Miss Cabot's mental health issues, not the morals of my upstanding client...’ 

‘Objection! Argumentative!’ Alex stands up in one nimble motion. ‘And objection for his suggestion my mental health...’ she adds as her pinky finger taps the desk irritably. The rest of her form, the epitome of outward calm. 

‘Sustained,’ Donnelly immediately agrees. ‘Reign it in Buchannan,’ she warns, her voice clipped. 

‘I’m sorry,’ he feigns sincerity, raising his arms in the air mockingly. ‘But can I make one request?’ Buchannan doesn’t wait for an affirmative. ‘Please can the _victim_ not talk of herself in the third person. It could get awfully confusing,’ his voice drips with false professionalism as his clever request breeds doubt in the jury's minds.  

Alex is still standing, her body leaning forward, her fingers splayed over her desk as she waits for Donnelly’s ruling on this overtly innocuous afterthought.  

‘Granted. Miss Cabot, for the duration of this trial, you are required to speak of yourself in the first person.’  

My life nods once before she folds herself into her chair. ‘Your honour.’ 

Buchannan sits back down, triumphant. I almost hurl when Kressler shifts in his chair before he also stands.  _Jesus_   _no!_ Every legally or law enforcement minded person in the room knows _exactly_ what the defence team are doing.  

‘Roger Kressler, Defence Attorney representing defendant Ray Daniels. I wish to inform the jury that my client was not involved in the initial, alleged assault and was an unfortunate passer by, too scared to help the victim. She then seduced him. He is _the_ innocent party in this whole circus,’ he states dramatically, in his annoying weasel tones. _Seriously?_ _They’re playing the seduc_ _tion_ _card_ _?_  

‘Okay, now that _that_ circus is over with! Miss Cabot, the floor is yours,’ Donnelly offers, giving the room an impatient, death stare.  

‘Thank you, Your honour,’ my life says as she stands once more. _I know what she’s planning to do next._ My soul screams for her. _My love._ I cover my bleeding knuckle with my other hand as I pray, for the first time in my life, for a miracle. ‘The People would like to call Elliot Stabler, one of the first officers to see my post incident condition and so he can pertain to my injuries and mental state.’ 


	42. First Witness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex examines her first witness.  
> The Defence Team cross.
> 
> Rating: Mature Content

‘Defence team?’ Donnelly groups them together, unapologetically efficient in her deliberation. 

‘The defence stipulates that for the scope of this trial Detective Elliot Stabler qualifies as an expert witness,’ Granger acquiesces, speaking for them. 

Several moments later, my life is standing within three feet of her abuser. _My former partner_ _._ _My_ _former_ _friend_ _._ _My_ _former_ _favourite person._ I peruse him, noting he's lost weight, his usual cockiness is absent, his eyes averted and guilt ridden. _Good!_ I stare into his soul. _He doesn’t have the courage to_ _meet my gaze._  

‘Could you please state your name and occupation for the court,’ Alex prompts as Elliot eventually meets her piercing gaze. 

‘Elliot Stabler, former Detective with the Sixteenth Precinct, Special Victims Unit,’ he answers, lowering his head once more. 

‘Mr Stabler, in your own words, please describe how you and I came to know each other.’ Alex steps back, her arms crossed over her abdomen as she waits for him to speak. 

‘My partner, Detective Olivia Benson and I were called to Bellvue at 6:46am on the morning of December 18th, 20--, after a suspected gang rape victim was blue lighted there. You were that victim,’ he supplies factually. 

‘What did the doctor tell you about my physical condition?’  

‘I’m not medically trained. I’d ask your doctor,’ Elliot answers evasively. _I must admit I understand his point_. 

‘I plan on doing exactly that later. But you have read my medical report. What if anything do you remember feeling, reading it?’ 

‘Objection! Speculative,’ Buchannan bellows into the still room.  

‘I’ll rephrase,’ Alex states quickly, trying earnestly to hide her slight flinch at the defence attorney's booming voice. ‘You have given testimony in previous cases regarding your recall of a victim's condition. Please can you provide your recall of my condition for the court?’ 

‘I’ve never seen a victim survive such a battering in my years in the unit,’ Elliot finally answers, his eyes meeting Alex's once more. I notice my life glance away before she loses her train of thought. 

‘Please can you expand on that,’ she cajoles evenly as she backs up to her desk and rifles thru her case file. 

‘You were lying on your back in the hospital bed. Your arms, neck and face were visible. You had bite marks on every inch of skin visible bar your face. Your left eye was swollen shut. You had further bruising around your neck and at your temple...’ my former partner points to himself as he recalls Alex’s injuries. ‘...over your cheek bone and a split lip as well as rope burns around your wrists,’ Elliot describes an image I’ll never forget. _My broken Omega_ _._  

‘In your time at SVU, have you ever seen these types of injuries?’ Alex asks as she finds what she’s been looking for. ‘Exhibits 23 A and 23 B. Photographs taken on the morning Mr Stabler attended my hospital room,’ she holds up two photos, showing them to Elliot and the jury before handing them to Donnelly. 

‘No,’ Elliot coughs out. ‘Well, separately on different victims but never on _one_ surviving victim,’ he clarifies further. 

‘You said earlier you are a former Detective. Please can you explain why to the jury,’ Alex prods the wasps nest.  

Elliot nods his head, his shame obvious as he licks his lips nervously. ‘I... er... I touched you... inappropriately,’ he admits, as the dormant courtroom erupts. 

‘Silence!’ Donnelly growls heatedly. The room simmers with unanswered questions but the attendees still their mouths. 

‘Please give the court a description of the circumstances.’ 

‘On January 9th, 20--, yourself, my partner Detective Benson and Captain Donald Cragen were having some kind of disagreement in his office. I heard raised voices so stormed in with Detective’s John Munch and Odafin Tutuola. I restrained you, Munch restrained Benson and Fin the Captain because we thought you were about to... I restrained you and something happened to me,’ Elliot lays the heinous scene. 

‘What happened to you?’ Alex prompts, her arms firmly encircling her abdomen as the court waits for the key moment. 

‘I... I felt like I’d been drugged with enough Viagra to... I restrained you from behind; my arms were pinning you tightly against me and the _only_ thing I could think about was you; your body, touching me. I... I’ve never been more aroused in my life,’ my former partner confesses as he hangs his head in shame. I forcibly swallow down my nausea. 

‘Then what happened?’ Alex asks as she stands statue like in her stillness. 

‘I wrenched your arms behind your back and forced your hands on to my clothed penis. I then began thrusting against your touch. I came almost immediately. But that wasn’t enough, I continued thrusting against you until Detective Benson aimed her gun at my head,’ Elliot states forcefully, wanting to assuage his guilt.  

‘So Detective Benson’s actions stopped you?’ Alex enquires for clarification. 

‘Yes.’ 

‘If Detective Benson hadn’t aimed her gun, what may have happened?’ 

‘Objection! Calls for speculation,’ Granger jumps on this. 

‘I wish Mr Stabler to clarify the reasoning behind Detective Benson drawing her weapon,’ Alex explains herself. 

‘Overruled. Answer the question Mr Stabler,’ Donnelly decides. 

‘I would have raped you, possibly killed you. Only my fear of being shot stopped me. Detective Benson knew thru a previous case that only fear of death, or a conscience, stop the frenzy once you’ve touched a Cabot,’ Elliot states plainly as the courtroom hums with quiet murmurs. 

‘So your testimony suggests you do not possess a conscience?’ my life kicks the hornets nest this time. 

‘Not when it comes to you, no,’ my former partner reveals honestly. A cold shiver runs down my spine, knowing he would attempt to rape Alex again given the opportunity. 

My life clears her throat, to give herself a moment, before she continues. ‘There is no evidence of sexual misconduct in your file. Please clarify what caused you to behave this way?’ my Omega goes for the kill. 

‘Honestly?’ Elliot stares nervously at my life, his anxiety palpable. Alex nods her head as she steps in front of him. ‘You.’ The courtroom erupts once more. _Fuck!_  

Donnelly slams her gavel. ‘Order!’ She only needs to say it once before the entire courtroom hushes. _That’s power._  

‘Please explain this, Mr Stabler,’ my life urges as she begins pacing the walk way. 

‘Touching your skin was like experiencing the most intense euphoria I have ever known. I got hooked and wanted more. I _want_ more...’ Elliot creepily admits, as I unconsciously stand, my hand primed against my holstered weapon. I watch as Alex backs away from him until she finds the relative safety of her desk, using it as a barrier between them. 

‘Detective Benson, please desist and sit down or get out of my courtroom!’ Donnelly snarls, baring her teeth. Alex turns to face me for the first time since this torture began. Our eyes meet for mere seconds before we strenuously look away; the emotions swirling in our hearts enough for us to forget ourselves if we’re not careful. I sit, my eyes never leaving Elliot. ‘Mr Stabler, I am concerned about your disclosures. I’m assuming you are being investigated?’ Liz asks Alex’s witness directly. 

‘Yes. I've been dismissed from my job. I’m never to work in law enforcement again. I’m only allowed this close to Miss Cabot, on her request, due to being her witness. Miss Cabot has a restraining order in place. Next Monday, I’m attending court for sentencing for Forcible Touching. I have already pled guilty,’ Elliot states evenly, self loathing dripping from his every word. My mind processes this information, wondering how Alex had the time to file. 

Donnelly nods her approval before gazing in Alex’s general direction. ‘Any further questions Miss Cabot?’  

My life stays behind her desk. ‘Mr Stabler, when you say you became hooked, what do you mean?’ The only evidence of my Omega’s discomfort, her position in the room and the very slight shake in her voice. 

‘I couldn’t control myself. I’m a happily married man. I’ve never touched a woman inappropriately or without her consent. With you, I couldn’t _stop_. It was like I knew what I was doing but my body took over. My primal needs were the only thing that mattered,’ Elliot answers Alex fully, wanting to help her. I close my eyes fleetingly, sickened that my former partner knows how it feels to be touched by Alex. 

I notice my life take a breath. ‘As part of your dismissal agreement, you had to consent to a psyche evaluation?’ 

‘Yes. Two independent evaluations. Both psychiatrists assessed me as stable and of sound mind.’ 

‘Your witness,’ my life states curtly, not wishing to speak to or further acknowledge her abuser as she sits down and begins stroking her arm in an unconscious, comforting gesture. I long to hold her.  

Defence Creep jolts up so enthusiastically, I have to bite my tongue and claw my own palms to stop my hand drawing my weapon and killing most of the people in this courtroom. 

‘Breathe, Liv,’ I hear Fins calming voice in my ear piece. I breathe.  

‘Former Detective Stabler, thank you for your _expert_ medical opinion on Miss Cabot's state. I’m most intrigued by your seeming lack of control when you touched her,’ Granger states languidly. I can almost hear the excitement in his voice. _Fucking creep!_ ‘Tell me where you touched her?’  

‘Initially, on her arms,’ Elliot answers briefly. 

‘And what were you feeling when you touched Miss Cabot’s skin?’ 

‘Like I never wanted to let her go. Like my own personal brand of heroin, that I hadn’t even realised I'd been looking for, was suddenly in my grasp. It was an incredible feeling but then the shame as soon as I released her...’ My eyes bore into Alex's back, as I tear the last scab off my knuckle, wondering how the hell she can listen to this, let alone sit poised and unmoving. _I love you. I'm here._ _No one’s going to touch you_ _, hurt you._  

‘So you’re saying touching Miss Cabot’s skin caused you to force her to touch you about the sexual organs? To be aroused to climax?’ Granger asks incredulously.  

‘Yes and yes.’  

‘And how do you know that’s the case?’ Defence Creep continues. 

‘Once you’ve touched her, you know,’ Elliot says, like sexually assaulting my life enters him into an exclusive boys club. I actively shiver, recognising he is right. 

‘So if that is your argument and you’ve had two independent psyche evals that conclude you're stable, either something is incredibly wrong here and Ale... Miss Cabot somehow drugged you into succumbing to her... charms... or...’  

‘Objection! Is there a question here?’ Alex interrupts his useless and inflammatory monologue.  

‘Do you think anyone touching her, or touching whatever she may put on her skin, would have difficulty stopping?’ Granger asks the heinous and potentially revealing question. 

‘I can’t speak for anyone else. And when you say ‘stopping’, I need further clarification on what you mean exactly,’ Elliot tries to evade Defence Creeps line of enquiry. 

‘So you’ve got to be angry with her for causing you to lose your...’ 

‘Object...’ 

‘Lionel...’ 

‘Don't!’ Elliot shouts furiously. ‘Don’t you dare blame her for something I did. I’m beyond furious at myself. Miss Cabot's aura may have been the trigger but I pulled it. Never blame a victim for the perpetrators actions!’ 

‘But you've stated yourself: touching Miss Cabot's skin changed you, made you assault her... I’m done with this witness,’ Granger purposely aborts his examination, leaving this statement hanging heavily in the air, as he sits down and furiously scribbles notes as Kressler stands. _For fucks sake, give her a break!_  

‘Mr Stabler, you mentioned you climaxed as soon as Miss Cabot touched your penis?’ 

‘Within seconds, yes.’ 

‘So literally touching her made you orgasm?’ _Where is he going with this?_  

‘Let’s be clear, I forced Miss Cabot to touch me and I came once her hands were on my penis, not before.’ 

‘So I wonder if you’d have climaxed eventually if you’d just continued touching...’ 

‘Objection!’ Alex states angrily, her ire pronounced in her voice. 

‘Withdrawn,’ Kressler whispers quickly.  

My fingers twitch on the metal plastic of my gun. My limbs actively shake with seething rage as I admire the relative stoicism of my Omega. 

‘I find it pretty strange that a victim calls her perp as a witness...,’ Kressler begins, trying to further discredit my life. 

‘And it’s pretty _strange_ that the perp is the officer who should’ve been protecting said victim,’ Elliot counters effortlessly. 

‘You mentioned Miss Cabot is the trigger?’ Kressler changes tack. 

‘Yes,’ 

‘Meaning?’ 

‘I’ve already answered this,’ Elliot states, his frustration growing. 

‘Answer the question!’ Donnelly demands coolly. 

‘Touching Miss Cabot was like swallowing every Viagra pill on the planet,’ Elliot clarifies once more. Kressler nods his head, smiling, as he slinks back to his desk. 

‘Redirect, Your Honour?’ Alex suddenly stands, somehow finding the strength to wade thru the thick, sickly scent of testosterone.  

Donnelly nods her head. ‘Granted,’ she voices, for the record. 

‘Have you ever taken Viagra?’ 

‘I have,’ my former partner blushes crimson. _Good question: proves his truth, if_ _admitting to a career ending crime does_ _no_ _t._  

‘May I stress that Mr Stabler is not on trial here,’ my life says graciously. The courtroom sighs in awe of her, considering the circumstances. ‘Two more questions: Did you enjoy your job and when you first saw me, in the hospital bed, did you have any _intention_ of assaulting me?’ My heart soars at my life’s ingenuity. 

‘The job was my life and no, no intent whatsoever,’ Elliot almost chokes, his relief at being asked the latter question clear.  

‘Your Honor, the prosecution reserves the right to recall Mr Stabler in the future should such a line of questioning be required,’ Alex states, exhausted, her request sounding more like a demand. 

‘Granted,’ Donnelly agrees softly. I whip my head to the side to stare at Liz, surprised by this sudden change. ‘You wolves finished?’ she asks the defence team heatedly.  

‘One final thing,’ Buchannan pipes up. _Fucking prick!_ ‘Do you recall what Miss Cabot, Detective Benson and Captain Cragen were arguing about?’ _Shit!_  

‘No, I wasn’t privy to their conversation,’ Elliot answers truthfully. I swallow hard. 

‘Counsellor?’ Donnelly snarls impatiently, when Buchannan stands unmoving in the middle of the walk way, not appearing to have another question forthcoming. 

‘Yes, Your...’ 

‘You done?’ 

‘We are, Your honor.’ 

‘The court will adjourn for recess. We will restart in 45 minutes,’ Liz states firmly before she hurriedly exits the courtroom.  


	43. Reset

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Olivia have it out...
> 
> Rating: Explicit Content

I hate to admit it but as soon as Donnelly leaves the courtroom, I feel outnumbered. I swallow as I look to Fin who nods, understanding. His eyes move between my former colleague and Buchanan as I take in my life; packed up, ready and waiting to go. I touch my weapon for reassurance; my heart spiking at the sheer number of potential threats. 

‘So... I'm assuming I've been dismissed?’ Elliot asks no-one in particular. He stands as Buchanan wakes from his weird trance and starts back to his desk. _Thank fuck!_  

As soon as I meet Alex's gaze, she dips her head and marches to the courtroom doors. I follow, Fin close behind.  

My life bursts through the exit at speed, wishing to escape the cloying reek of arousal. I have to jog to keep up as she ducks into the ladies. I glance at Fin who immediately guards the entrance to give us absolute privacy. 

I check each cubicle as Alex waits impatiently. As soon as I clear the stools, I turn to her. The rage in her eyes completely blindsides me. 

‘What the actual hell were you playing at in there?’ my Omega impales me with her icy glare. 

 _I was expecting hurt, upset, even_ _tears_ _. N_ _ot_ _this_. ‘I...I... what?’ I struggle to comprehend her meaning as confusion mars my understanding. 

‘Standing up and pretty much threatening _him_ with your gun, in front of everyone _!_ _Everyone_ , Liv!’ she near shouts in my face. ‘Do you want to be held in contempt and barred from the courtroom for the duration of the case? Or for the defence to call a mistrial? For _fucks_ sake Liv, you have to be smarter than that!’ Alex paces the bathroom as she gesticulates angrily with her hands, her eyes seething. ‘I _feel_ everything you feel. I _can’t_ have your anger, your rage constantly distracting me, constantly blinding me,’ my life continues as her body shakes with delayed adrenaline. I watch, my emotions alternating between soul shattering hurt and gut wrenching rage, as Alex takes a breath. ‘ _Please_ don’t give them a reason to bar you! Without you, they'll _kill_ me!’ my life voices as she steps closer once more. 

‘They'll kill you anyway after that...’ I gesture to the courtroom aggressively. ‘Elliot sold you to _every_ suitor in there, convincing them if they weren’t already. And what the _fuck_ with giving the defence _their_ argument? An SVU detective couldn’t stop so how can two criminals and a young prodigy be expected to?’ I counter, staring into the blazing icy fire in my life’s cloudy blue orbs. ‘ _And_...’ my anger boils over. ‘... when he said he still _wants_ you, how can I sit back and allow the court to think that’s acceptable? _Tell me Alex?_!’ 

We’re standing within inches of each other, silence reigning, as we both attempt to catch our breath and dampen our ire. Alex's blue fire doesn't subside. She steps back, her chest still heaving, as she suddenly roundhouse kicks a stool door, following it up with a crunching rebound elbow jab. I stare, struck dumb. My mind can't make rational thought. 

‘The one thing my mother did: making me go to karate from the age of four. I achieved my black belt two months before I...’ she explains as I watch her, open mouthed. ‘Useless but...’ Alex inhales a shuddering breath as she places her hands on her hips to open up her tight chest. She lifts her mesmerising eyes to meet mine. ‘Liv,’ my Omega whispers, knowing she has my full attention. ‘I need you to control your anger or Liz will have no choice...’ my life stops, not wishing to repeat herself or waste this precious time. ‘And I needed an avenue to introduce my issue in the most believable fashion. What better way than thru a testosterone infused, ex SVU detective who admits to assaulting me, to taking Viagra and who is able to verbalize, _rationalise_ how my hormones made him feel; so making him sound like the head-case, _not_ me.’ I gaze at my life in awe. ‘I also needed to test just how much protection you, Fin... and Liz...’ Alex adds sheepishly. _At this moment I don’t care beyond m_ _y_ _life being safe_. ‘... could give me in a lust filled room teeming with no conscience. I laid myself bare and no one, _not one person_ touched me; because of _you_.’ I gaze into her iridescent eyes as I reach to caress her cheek. ‘I’m not a complete idiot, Liv,’ she states quietly as she places her hand on mine, stilling my fingers.  

‘When you say I need to control my anger; I can’t. I feel every single threat in that room. I feel your every tremble, your every stiffening, your every bead of sweat. I. Can’t. Switch. It. _Off!_ ’ I stress, my breath hitching as I look into her soul.  

‘Yes. You. Can,’ my life argues, mimicking me. ‘You can control your sexual urges so you can learn to control your anger,’ she counters effortlessly.  

‘Why am I the one who has to learn this..? Stop that? I’m the Alpha!’ I question petulantly, withdrawing my touch. 

‘Because you were born to be an Omega's Alpha,’ Alex replies cryptically. 

‘What the hell does that even mean?’ I ask, fatigue feeding my frustration as I rake my hands thru my cropped hair. ‘And testing aroused criminals _isn’t_ clever Alex!’ 

My life gazes into my bronze depths. ‘Better to know on the first day whether I’m going to be gang raped and killed, out of heat, than...’ 

‘I can’t...’ I interrupt her, suddenly feeling claustrophobic and unable to breathe as I tug my collar. 

‘You can leave, you know?’ Alex says the one thing I don’t expect. I feel the colour drain from my face as I scan her features.  

‘What? Here... or...?’ I feel the insecurity creep in. _I can’t lose you._  

‘Really, Olivia? You seriously have to ask that?’ Alex frowns, her hurt and frustration evident. _No, no..._  

I grab her arm and clutch her nape, pulling her to me, my lips claiming hers dominantly. I feel my life struggle against me. It takes everything to release her. I step back, waiting anxiously as I gaze at my spirited Omega. _Please!_  

Alex is leaning against the wall, her head back, her eyes closed, her hands fisted as she tries to hold herself together. ‘I _need_ you; more than I need oxygen, than I need water. If you’re questioning our relationship, I don’t know what we're doing here,’ my life confesses as she opens her eyes. My heart plummets as guilt twists my soul. 

I cradle Alex's face in my hands. ‘I’m sorry. I thought... I just... I need you more than life itself. _You_ are my life. I just look at you, listen to you and wonder how the hell I'm lucky enough to be with you. You’re a spirited, intelligent, beautiful attorney and I’m a detective with anger issues. I’m not good enough for you,’ I state factually as I gaze into her cloudy blue eyes. 

‘Don’t Liv. Just _don't!_ ’ my life warns as she steps away from the wall, from me. ‘I'm about to examine the doctor who completed my rape kit, who conducted a full physical on me and we're in here talking about the apparent fragility of our relationship,’ Alex surmises as she shakes her head in disbelief. ‘If this is the game you need to play to extricate yourself from this relationship...’ 

‘Hey,’ I say to cut thru her haze. ‘I love you. I will _never_ leave you. Please believe that. If _nothing_ else, _that’s_ my core truth,’ I stress quietly as I succeed in regaining her gaze. I feel physically sick when tears begin falling down Alex's face. ‘Please my love. _Please_ forgive me,’ I implore as my body itches to hold her. 

‘Only if you forgive me,’ my Omega whispers as she folds herself into my body, her head in the crook of my neck. I embrace my reason for living, crushing her lithe frame to me desperately, as I try to convey just how much I need her, love her.  

Several minutes pass before I speak again. ‘I think that was our stress talking. If we ever get close to that again, you have my permission to slap me,’ I suggest in an attempt to lighten the mood. 

‘Shut up and kiss me,’ my life demands abruptly as she offers herself to me. I release her from my crushing embrace and step away, suddenly feeling dirty and perverted for wanting my Omega after this morning’s events. ‘Liv?’ Alex gazes at me with intoxicating uncertainty.  

I lick my lips as I try to find the words. ‘After todays... subject matter, it feels wrong to take you; here, now.’ I gesture to the room, the building, the place.  

Alex’s expression turns determined as she grips my leather jacket. ‘Would you like to feel less edgy? Less angry? Less stoked?’ _I know what_ _she's_ _doing_. I nod my head. ‘Would you like to feel my hands, my fingers, my mouth on you?’ I clear my throat as my body flushes crimson, my clit quivering with animal need as my heart near bursts out of my chest. ‘Would you like to make love to me? To own me? To dominate me?’ _That_ _does it._ Something snaps inside me as I step towards my Omega and claim her mouth. My hands roam hungrily over her breath-taking body as I try to inhale adequate oxygen to remain standing.  

We both startle when I accidentally rip her blouse in my haste to take her. ‘Fuck! Lex...’ I breathe, trying to fathom what to do next. 

‘Don’t worry, I brought a similar blouse just in case,’ my life murmurs into my neck. ‘But mind the skirt,’ she warns as she nibbles my jaw seductively. _Jesus!_  

I rip her torn blouse from her body and unzip her skirt, before I totally lose control. She steps out of it and folds it neatly with her feet, not relenting in her exploration of my body. My Omega cups me, kneads me, as her eyes ensure I’m okay. _God, I love you._ I lower my lips to take hers once more as I throw my jacket, shirt and bra aside, allowing Alex to explore the undulating landscape of my chest. _God!_  

I gasp as my life takes a nipple in her mouth, teasingly alternating in tugging and suckling it. _Too_ _much._ I push her against the wall, her eyes shimmering with desire as I unclasp her bra and lower her panties in one practiced motion. I proceed to lower my black jeans and panties, standing naked and wantonly aroused in front of her.  

My eyes rake over every inch of her body. ‘Please Liv. _Please_ touch me,’ my Omega begs as I gesture for her to turn around. Alex obediently complies as I sweep her flaxen locks to one side, so I can feast on her swan like neck. I plant soft kisses on her delicate skin, my mouth moving lower, exploring her prominent shoulder blades, her ribs and then the small of her back.  

My lips finally reach their destination as I kiss the tally etched into her skin. I feel Alex shudder under my touch as a sob escapes her lips. I hold out my hand. My life grasps it as I continue to shower my love on the scars of her nightmares. I take my time; feeling, kissing and caressing her, nuzzling into her scarred flesh. Alex unclasps her hand and threads her fingers thru my hair as I finally begin to stand, my body pressed tightly against hers from behind as I hold her thru her tears.  

‘You’re so beautiful, Alex. So beautiful,’ I repeat into her hair and neck as she leans her forehead against the wall, tears streaming down her face.  

Several minutes pass before my life’s shuddering breaths calm and her shaking frame stills. ‘Liv...’  

‘I know.’ 

‘ _Christ,_ I don’t know what I’d do without you,’ Alex whispers breathlessly as she takes my hand once more. _The most harrowing part is we both know exactly what my life would do_. 

‘Please forgive me for before, Lex. I was pumped and you were understandably challenging my behaviour and I couldn’t...’ I mutter into her ear as I squeeze her tighter. 

‘I’m sorry too, sweetie. I was pissed and hurting. I needed a punch bag and you were it,’ my life admits as she leans herself into me. 

‘At least your arguments made sense; I sounded like a petulant child.’  

Alex chuckles slightly at my words. ‘Maybe a bratty teenager,’ she teases, the spark returning to her eyes. ‘We need George,’ my Omega acknowledges seriously. 

‘We need George,’ I mirror, knowing once the psychiatrist has been called, he can help us. 

My life pushes against the wall then, as she wraps her hand around my nape to bring my mouth closer to hers. ‘I love you,’ she says as her eyes gaze into mine.  

‘And I love you, so much,’ I murmur as my voice cracks slightly. She kisses me sweetly, softly, innocently. My lungs seize as I try to quieten the hunger such an act radiates thru me.  

‘How much time do we have?’ Alex asks, a noticeable husk in her voice. 

‘I’m more than happy just to hold you,’ I state honestly. When my life continues to hold my gaze, her fingers caressing the hair at my nape alluringly, I smile before looking down at my watch. ‘We have 15 minutes,’ I whisper into her neck as I feel a shiver run down my Omega’s spine. 

’15 minutes total or 15 minutes with extra time to get court ready?’ Alex questions as only an attorney would. 

’14 minutes total,’ I answer briefly as my life spins round in my arms and latches onto me like I’m her only source of sustenance.  

My body trembles in response as my Omega feasts on me. I bask in euphoria as she nibbles and caresses my neck, my breasts, my belly button until she arrives at my apex. I thread my fingers thru her golden mane as she wastes no time in fondling and caressing my swollen clit. I extend one arm against the wall for support, to prevent myself collapsing under the heady weight of mind-blowing pleasure. _Fuck!_ my mind scrambles under my life’s relentless ministrations. 

Somehow, I find the strength to look at my watch as my body continues to dance to the beat of my life’s fingers and tongue. _9 minutes._ ‘Tef... _lon_ ,’ I stammer out. As soon as Alex’s touch desists, I clutch her jaw and pull her up for another soul shattering kiss. The taste of me on her tongue goads my already soaring arousal. I run my fingers over her cheekbones and jaw before I begin caressing her enthralling body. I tease her breasts, stroking and massaging them, as I feel her scorching arousal build still further. I continue dominating her mouth as one hand orphans her breast, my fingers tracing to below her navel.  

We have no time for further teasing as my fingers delve into Alex's folds, her core soaking wet as I stroke her engorged clit to breaking point. My life gasps and trembles against me as I prolong the kiss, intensifying her pleasure as I push her back against the wall, for even greater friction.  

My life's breathing shallows as she struggles to inhale enough oxygen whilst continuing our ravenous kiss. Finally, she tears her lips away and moans in ecstasy as orgasm after exquisite orgasm bursts thru her with gay abandon. I nuzzle into her hair, her neck; trying my best not to bite her as the stench of sex, of heat, of arousal invades our senses.  

‘Teflon!’ my Omega shouts, our heavy breathing the only sound punctuating the silence as I withdraw and lick her scent from my fingers. I observe the heat coursing thru my life’s features as I finalise this endeavour.   

‘I better clean you up,’ I whisper breathlessly, knowing my life’s core is now dripping with her own scent. Alex nods her head swiftly, desire and amusement burning in her eyes. 

I lower myself and begin licking my Omega with vigour, leaving no area untouched; her fingers lacing thru my hair as further orgasms wrack her body. ‘ _Liv!’_ I continue to ‘wash’ her until the syllables finally burst from her lips. ‘ _Te_ _...fl...on!_ ’ I release her from my efforts and stand, glorifying in the vision before me: my life is beautifully naked, leaning against the wall for support, her eyes closed, her lips slightly parted, her chest panting as she rides the final waves of her pleasure. _Jesus!_ I look at my watch to distract myself before I lose all self-control and take her again. _4 minutes_. I make my life aware which instantly snaps her out of her sexual reverie.  

We check ourselves in the mirror once we're dressed. I finger my unruly hair whilst Alex retrieves a brush from her Mary Poppins bag, then proceeds to hide any further evidence behind her omnipresent glasses. I stare, in awe of her pristine presentation whilst I look like a gutter rat. My life gives me a knowing smirk, as she pats down a particularly stubborn strand of my hair, before she takes a lung bursting breath to steel herself, as we leave the bathroom as one. 

 _1 minute to spare..._  

Only once I near walk into Liz, does my brain engage again; her expression raging as she gestures for us to return to the restroom. _Fuck!_


	44. Wrath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia and Alex face Liz's wrath.
> 
> Rating: Mature Content

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay people, I was overseas. Here's the next update.
> 
> I've edited the dates in the previous court set chapters to 20--. I wanted you guys to fantasize about your favourite Cabenson time: whether it be short and short hair, long and short, long and long...

She rounds on us with such ferocity, my legs shake and my palms sweat. I hate myself for it as I move to stand between my Omega and this hostile Alpha.    
   
'Liz,' Alex says, trying to placate this dangerous entity before she charges us.   
   
'Don't 'Liz' me right now, little girl!' Donnelly snarls, making Alex flinch slightly. My heart melts watching my Omega stand her ground. _My warrior._    
   
'Liz!' I state, purposely cutting in before Alex is further reprimanded. 'Now is not the time,' I stress in my life partners defence; knowing there are many reasons why Donnelly is pissed with us.   
   
As soon as the words leave my lips, I regret them. Liz's fury reaches new heights as she spits in my face, _'Now_ is not the time, _hmm_? Now is not the _time!'_ she barks as she clenches her fists and bares her teeth. 'I'll tell you about now not being the time!' Donnelly promises as she invades my personal space, making me extremely uncomfortable. I don't move; not wishing Liz or Alex, to know that she is succeeding in intimidating me. _I have my weapon,_ I remind myself, knowing _I would kill this bitch to save my life._    
   
I can feel Alex's heart beat. I swallow in an attempt to control my own as Liz glares at me. 'Do you have any idea how alluring, how intoxicating Alex's scent is?' The question takes me off guard. _If there's one thing I do know..._ 'I had my suspicions when I called you,' Donnelly gestures to Alex. '... but when I saw your other Omega...'   
   
'That _Omega_ has a name: _Fin!_ And he's the only reason we're both still alive!' I can't help but bite. I feel my life grasp my arm in warning: _Don't._    
   
The expression in Liz's eyes tells me no one has ever spoken to her the way I just did. My mouth is suddenly bone dry as I feel sweat run down my spine. _Fuck!_    
   
'You listen good Detective...' Even though she's several inches shy of my height, I feel small in the wake of her dominance. 'I’m leaving this _reeking_ hellhole. Then I _expect_ you both to enter my office at _different_ times, using _different_ entrances, for _appearance's_ sake, if _either_ of you _remember_ what that means. Then I'm going to show you what being an Alpha truly _means_ ,' Liz growls, before she turns on her heel and disappears out the door.    
   
I turn to Alex; our lungs heaving as we try to calm our nerves at the reprimand we've received; _are about to receive_. My life's features are pale and drawn, echoing my own concern. 'Hey,' I whisper to gain her attention, as I lift her chin gently. Her cloudy blues meet my chocolate bronze. 'I won't let anything happen to you,' I promise as we move towards the door. 'You go first with Fin. I'll follow.'   
   
Alex turns to me. 'It's better if I take the fall. There's no way she can throw me off my own case... well, not forever anyway. I can't have you barred, Liv,' she whispers nervously as she pats my stubborn strand of hair once more. 'Don't rescue me, sweetie. This is my domain.' I can only observe as my steely Omega steps into the courthouse foyer, I spy Fin briefly before the door closes behind her. My heart rate spikes and sweat beads my forehead, hating the fact my Alex is currently without her Alpha. _I trust Fin implicitly but_ _.._ _._    
   
I count to ten before I leave the restroom, making a b-line for the less direct, back entrance to Donnelly's chambers. Weighted glances follow me round the crowded courthouse as I try to slow my pace thru the never ending hallways. The odd reporter blocks my path, thrusting a microphone and camera in my face.   
   
'Detective...'   
   
My anger simmers dangerously as I side step as many as I can with: 'No comment.'   
   
'How has...'   
   
'What is your...'   
   
_Fuck off!_ my mind screams as I dodge yet more vermin, hoping against hope Alex didn't receive such treatment; knowing in my heart of hearts she did, _probably_ _worse._    
   
I finally see the back entrance to Liz's chambers. I proceed to enter without knocking.    
   
I walk in to surprised glances from both my Omega and the bitch Alpha. My heart soars as I quickly survey the scene: my life is sat opposite Liz, her features calm, even whilst the judge stands over her desk. _Nothing happened between the_ _m_ _,_ I hope; knowing how Alex is a mistress of facade.    
   
'Sit,' Donnelly commands firmly, leaving no room for argument. I bite back a retort as I sit beside my life, my fingers touching hers fleetingly in greeting, in reassurance; a rush of electricity jolting between us, before I withdrawn them; knowing we’re being watched. I meet Alex's gaze briefly, the intoxication of her cloudy blue eyes drawing me in before I break the contact. _Concentrate Olivia!_ I turn to bitch Alpha. Her glare freezes my blood and consumes my senses.    
   
'Jesus _fucking_ Christ! What the actual _fuck_ are you two playing at?' She gives us her most withering stare, her eyes conveying her utter disbelief at our stupidity. 'Even now, you can't stop touching each other, looking at each other! _Even_ with a pre-warning that I'm about to baste you, you _can't_ help yourselves...' _Why? You jealous?_ my head screams but my mouth remains obediently silent. 'Do you have any idea of the impression that leaves?' She continues to glare at us as we quietly take her basting. ' _And_ that's _before_ you decided to show off your big nuts to the entire _fucking_ courtroom! What the _hell_ Olivia!? Do you _want_ me to separate you?' _I think you do._ 'Do you want to leave Alex vulnerable to abuse?' Liz looks at me, apparently waiting for a response.   
   
My voice sounds raspy as I answer, 'No.' My hands grip the chair as I use every muscle in my body to remain still, to remain obedient.    
   
Liz raises her head in knowing triumph. 'I thought as much. So why the hell are you doing everything you can to make it so?'    
   
'Your Honor?' Alex tries, attempting a respectful tact to succeed in having her voice heard. Liz nods her head, seemingly responding positively to my life's effort. 'With all due respect, my witness admitted he would rape me if he was presented with the opportunity. I wonder how your husband would react to such a statement?' My Omega challenges reflexively as we both stare at this volatile Alpha. _Clever_. I'm surprised by the slight but still discernible change in Donnelly's expression: _not anger, not guilt; something else._    
   
Almost as soon as the emotion graces Liz's features, it disappears behind her now familiar resting bitch face. She sighs heavily before meeting Alex's gaze. 'You'll go far Alex. But I think you better leave the snarky remarks to me and deal with the greater issue here,' Liz suggests heatedly, as she eyes me. _I'm the_ _issue_ _?_ Her meaning couldn't be clearer. 'The only reason you're still in the same room is because one of the defendants became ill during recess, so the trial has been adjourned until tomorrow. That's why I called you...' she explains, looking at Alex. '...and why I was standing outside the restroom, wasting my precious time waiting for you two to _finish up!'_ Both my life and I have the grace to blush crimson at Donnelly's words. 'I could smell you from here!' Liz barks sternly, her eyes taking in my life. 'I'm the only reason you haven’t been assaulted or killed in the last hour!' she snarls, _like some hero wanting a medal_ _!_    
   
I move to stand, in utter rage at her statement. My life stands abruptly, using a hand to forcibly push me back into my seat, distracting the judge effortlessly. 'Liz!' my Omega utters forcefully to maintain her attention and intercept any diatribe I was about to spew. 'I think Detective Fin and Olivia were quite useful in that regard,' Alex argues.    
   
'Your Detective Omega might be armed but he's powerless against any Alpha, particularly me,' Liz counters aggressively as she walks round her desk and perches on it, her arms crossed. I stand to ensure she isn’t looking down at me. 'You think a gun makes a person less vulnerable, right?' Donnelly asks rhetorically. 'I could have subdued your Detective Omega and burst in on you two within seconds! Any Alpha could have done that. Don't you see what I'm trying to tell you?' Liz stresses passionately. 'Your scent _does_ ease most dangers Detective because, though I’m loath to say it, you are one of the strongest Alphas I’ve ever met,’ I feel my life's weighted pride fall upon me as I bask in this rare compliment. ‘But those more powerful than you can subdue you and abuse your Omega. They can also abuse you if they are so inclined as you realised during...’ _Hell_ , I finish for her. I hate the feeling of vulnerability that consumes me, knowing this bitch Alpha has _seen_ us; seen us naked and terrified. ‘Don't you get it!?' The judge eyes me intensely. _I've never been dominated until hell_ _;_ _until Elizabeth Donnelly. I was right. I really am Alex to her Liv._ I swallow hard as we glare at each other; my heart racing, my lungs battering my rib cage, my palms slick with sweat as we stand off.   
   
'You would _love_ that wouldn't you?!' I bite, utterly unable to restrain myself further. 'To take my Omega; maybe even me...' 

‘You have no idea...’ Liz growls back. 

 _'Stop this!'_ my life howls thru the heady scent of one-up-man-ship. 'Put your penises away, for fucks sake!' We both gaze at Alex; her brows furrowed, her lips puckered in anguish, her eyes scorching with rage. _God!_ I take a breath as I try to control the burning desire pulsing between my legs. I glance at Liz. I see that same hunger cross her features fleetingly before she masks it. _Fuck!_ 'Liv, I need you to _stop_ talking for the duration of whatever this is. Liz, I hear your point, but what's your angle?' my life bravely calls the bitch Alpha out on her motives. I can only stare in heated admiration; each of us knowing who has the biggest ball sack in the room.   
   
I watch Liz look at my life with something akin to awe. A smile plays on her lips as she breathes in my Omega. 'Only a pure blood Omega knows the true meaning of courage, especially one as long lived as you are. You're a pedigree thoroughbred, just like your...' Donnelly abruptly shakes her head and changes the subject. _I don't know whether she's actually slipped up or it's a well disguised manipulation to draw us in._ 'Who thought it was good idea to have sex in the courthouse restroom?' comes her more familiar directive.   
   
'Were you just threatening us?' my life stays with Donnelly's earlier point.    
   
Liz shakes her head incredulously at Alex's gaol. 'I am warning you that if you ever decide to _fuck_ in a public place again, _particularly_ my courthouse, you will have to deal with the definite consequences _alone_ ,' the judge states savagely as she stands up from her desk and walks back round behind it. 'And if one of your defendants hadn't called in sick, I'd have barred you,' she confirms with a snarl, glaring at me. '... from the _courthouse_ , indefinitely. Playing with your gun is akin to touching yourself in my courtroom!’ My cheeks burn at Liz's words; _the fact she has thought about me masturbating in front of her, in front of_ _..._ 'The stench coming off the pair of you was... is intolerable!' I blanch once more as I gaze at my life fully for the first time in minutes; _too long._ 'Jesus, I thought you were intelligent Cabot!'    
   
Alex looks equally flushed at Liz's goading barbs. She tears her eyes away from mine and licks her lips in thought before finding her voice once more. 'I know our behaviour in the restroom was unprofessional, risky... okay, down right foolhardy. I offered myself to Olivia and I wouldn't take no for an answer...' Alex states plainly as Liz glances at me. _Yes, I can say no to my Omega._ 'I behaved this way as my Alpha was overwhelmingly angry after... We've also realised Liv's scent covers my own. So it had a dual purpose.' My life gazes at me as she concludes her practical analysis of our unruly behaviour. _It doesn't escape my notice_ _that Alex expertly evades the more pressing truth_ _:_ _we feed off a potent animal instinct, desire_ _,_ _hunger_ _to fuck each others brains out, constantly_.    
   
'To stop her from causing a blood bath in the courtroom, hmm?' Donnelly surmises quickly. 'Maybe I should bar you anyway. I can't...' My heart races in my chest at her words. _To what end?_    
   
'What do you want Liz?' my Omega asks abruptly, shocking us both. I turn to my life, stunned. I quickly glance at Liz who shows a similar emotion, her mouth wide open, her eyes conveying exactly what she wants for the first time. I shudder, feeling Donnelly’s eyes on me, a slight flush colouring her features. _I fucking see you!_ My chocolate bronze meet her grey hazel head on. 

I sense rather than see Alex place herself between us. _No!_ I grab my life and pull her behind me, my chest panting as I attempt to restrain my basal instincts to tear this bitch apart. _You will lose_ , I mantra to prevent harm to my Omega or myself. 

Liz raises her chin in challenge as I glare at her, my need to protect my Omega, the only thing that matters at this moment. 

‘Liv,’ my life whispers in my ear, immediately taking my attention. I move my ear back slightly to let her know I’m listening as my eyes remain focused on Liz. ‘ _Please_. If you do something stupid, you'll not only lose, you’ll be barred from the trial, the entire courthouse.’ Alex’s words are like dead weights to my heart and soul. ‘ _Please_ my love, for _me_ ,’ she pleads as every fibre of my being strains to attack. 

The smugness billowing from Donnelly's face doesn’t help. ‘Clever girl you have there, Detective. She knows how to play because she’s the pawn in this hierarchical game we call life. You can’t win chess by upturning the board when you’re out of moves.’ 

‘So, what’s your next move?’ I force out thru clenched teeth.


	45. Feral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I doubt you'll expect what's coming...
> 
> Rating: Mature Content

Liz stares at us for a long moment. I shiver involuntarily as I wait for our judgement to be served. I keep my hand on Alex’s forearm, to reassure her and myself that we are here together, in this together. I can almost hear the cogs whirring in Donnelly’s head as I pray her conscience wins out. _Don’t touch my Omega or_ _I will shoot_ _you_. I keep my free hand hovering over my piece, braced for a second’s notice. Sweat rolls down my back as the drumroll in my ears deafens me; my lungs seize in fear, in knowing, in adrenaline fuelled anxiety. 

‘Hand over your weapon,’ Liz finally speaks. I’m about to vehemently refuse when Alex digs her nails into my hand, causing me to hiss in pain. I turn to her as she pulls her claws out of my skin. She looks at me, her eyes pleading for me not to speak. 

‘What guarantees would we have that you won’t hurt us, me?’ my life questions as she rubs my raw flesh in apology.  

I watch Liz swallow tightly as she observes us. ‘None, but I have stressed from the very beginning I’m friend, not foe, unlike Casey.’ I eye Donnelly cautiously. ‘I fired her, when I found out,’ she continues as she waits for our decision. _Like we have a choice._  

‘How did you.. _?’_ my Omega begins to ask. _There is no way_ _Donnelly_ _could know unless Casey told her, which is highly unlikely._  

‘I smelt you on her,’ she replies bluntly. ‘A pure Omega’s scent is incredibly potent, especially when in heat or during/after touch. She tried to wash you off but only a strong Alpha can override that scent,’ Liz explains, looking at me. ‘Your gun,’ she repeats as she lays her hand open, waiting.  

‘How come...?’ I start. 

‘No more questions. You either trust me or leave and continue with your torturous lives. This request is for my safety, not yours. Gun or get out!’ Liz demands impatiently. I glance at her, realising what she’s just said. _For her safety?_ _Only moments ago, I thought_ _bitch Alpha_ _was_ _going_ _to rape my Omega_ _;_ _now she is saying we can leave_ _?_ I turn to Alex, knowing which option I’d rather take but knowing we have little choice. _This is her decision._ I’m unsurprised when I notice intrigue mingled with fear in her eyes. 

‘Liv, do you want to continue living this way?’ Alex whispers as her cloudy blues gaze into my soul. _No_ , I relay silently. 

‘Do you want our only safety net taken from us?’ I question reflexively, knowing Alex’s answer without her voicing it. 

My Omega turns to Liz, her gaze icy and determined. ‘The problem I have is why ask for the gun unless you’re going to try, or say, something that would give Liv reason to shoot you?’ 

‘Gun or out,’ Donnelly doesn’t budge. ‘But I will stress if you don’t take this opportunity, I won’t be offering it again,’ Liz confirms as she walks in front of her desk once more. ‘It involves your grandmother,’ she continues, leaving breadcrumbs as my life looks at me with an expression, I know, means she’s made up her mind. 

‘Are you sure?’ I whisper to her as she cups my jaw. 

‘No but I need you with me on this. If this goes wrong, we may both get hurt...’ Alex utters as she strokes my cheekbone. _I know we have_ _no_ _choice._ _Leaving would_ _mean_ _being barred from the courtroom._ _My behaviour has led to this_ _precipice_ _._  

‘I’m sorry,’ I whisper, nodding as she caresses my cheek. I gaze into her terrified eyes once more before I unholster my weapon and place it in Donnelly’s waiting hands.  

I’m surprised to hear a sigh of relief escape Donnelly's lips as she locks my piece away in her cabinet. ‘I hate guns with a passion,’ she admits as she sits back down behind her desk. Alex and I exchange glances, wondering what to say or do now. ‘Stay standing both of you. I need to ensure you’re not recording what I’m about to say,’ _or do,_ I add silently, biting my lip as I notice my life shudder slightly; _remembering how she checked me_. ‘Don’t worry, I won’t be asking you to undress. Contrary to your beliefs, though my biology wants it, I’m in control of my mind. I won’t, nor will I _ever_ rape you,’ Liz discloses as she focuses her gaze on Alex.  

‘What the actual... _ow!_ ’ I howl as I feel my life’s nails dig into my lower back. ‘ _Jesus!_ ’ I face my Omega, my displeasure clear at being interrupted and clawed again. 

‘Ask away Olivia,’ Liz offers as she watches us. 

‘Why did you just do all that _?_ ’  

‘Because I was _beyond_ _pissed_ at your behaviour! And I needed to see how far I could push you. You're feral Olivia. Behaving no better than a stray! But I’m relieved you have a glimmer of self restraint left. You didn’t kill or charge me,’ Donnelly answers as she takes a tiny metal detector out of her desk draw. 

‘Now, run this over your bodies and if it pings, I need you to give me the source,’ Donnelly orders softly as she hands it to me.  

I glance towards Alex as I try to fathom what is happening. Knowing my questions won’t be answered, I raise my brow before I run the detector over Alex’s body. She pings three times: her fortress keys, her cell phone and her pepper spray. _I completely forgot about that._   

‘Hand it over,’ Liz demands abruptly. ‘ _Nice_ of you to say about this Alex!’ she says sternly as she locks it in the same cabinet as my gun. ‘Don’t worry, I get it. Now you,’ Donnelly orders.  

I ping four times: my keys, my cell, my cuffs and my emergency piece, strapped to my calf. _Fuck!_ I receive a death stare from Liz as she takes it and locks it away. 

‘Anything else you wish to declare?’ she asks before she motions for us to sit. Donnelly takes a deep breath before she looks me square in the eye. ‘You’ll make Alex’s kind extinct if you don’t learn to control yourself, _right now_ _!_ Being an Alpha doesn’t mean power, dominance or control over others. It’s about self-restraint and respect for those subordinate to us. It’s about _learning_ to control our basal instincts; to remain as human, as _normal_ as possible in an already fucked up world. There are several routes open to our kind Olivia: serial rapist, murderer or a near Buddhist life of learned zen. Two lead to physical satiation, possible imprisonment and depending on your mental state, euphoria or life-long guilt. The other leads to a clear conscience,’ Liz explains as my inner workings finally make some sense. _I’ve never wanted to harm or kill until_ _I met_ _Alex._  

I feel my life watching me as she listens to Donnelly’s words. I meet Alex’s gaze, reading guilt in her eyes _,_ as I realise the fear and threat of moments before has given way to a renewed understanding of my raging anger and insatiable lust.  

‘You've felt this, haven’t you? And I don’t mean with Alex?’  

‘Welcome back Detective Benson. A pretty _obvious_ conclusion but one outside of your relationship, nether the less,’ Liz freely confesses as her face softens for the first time.  

‘My grandmother...’ Alex whispers as Donnelly nods quietly, guilt and anguish shadowing her features. 

‘I’m sorry Alex. I tried to keep her safe. I tried everything. _Everything_ _._ But those bastards planned it so I'd be called into work a complex case for hours whilst they...' she stops abruptly; her ability to regain control of her emotions incredible. _They?_ Donnelly's once haunted features are guarded once more.  

‘They?’ 

Alex had sat on the edge of her seat during Liz's confession. I discern a slight shake to her otherwise still form. I stop myself going to her. 

‘The first time I met your... Agnes, Arthur Branch (the ADA back then) was sick so the DA asked me to step in. A newly qualified attorney who didn’t know what she was about to walk into.’ She looks at me, knowing I _know_. ‘As soon as I saw her; my body, my mind were never the same. The first time she touched me, I was gone from the world most people know. I have never felt human again.’  

Liz stares at the floor as she inhales a steadying breath. ‘I didn’t understand my upbringing. Why I was abused from puberty. Why my father... my coach... until her.’ _Fucking hell!_  

‘You were...?’ Alex utters in complete disbelief. 

‘Not a pure blood, but yes...' Liz reveals as my heart hits the floor. ‘She saved me and I couldn't protect her.’ _Jesus Christ!_  

I side glance my Omega. Her frame is shuddering uncontrollably as she tries to maintain an air of grace in this impossible situation. _My love._ I go to her and envelope her in my arms.  

‘So Alex can become... like you?’ I whisper, my heart swelling at the possibility. Liz nods her head fleetingly, her eyes distant and cautious. 

My life bats me away. ‘How did she die?’ she grinds out, her voice hoarse and rasping. 

‘Alex...’ Liz replies, not wishing to state the obvious. 

‘I _need_ to know,’ Alex stresses as she barely maintains her ice queen facade.  

‘He was her guard for the morning... He and my husband... they locked her in and... raped her to death. They almost killed themselves in the process.... The only reason they didn’t: they prepared drips and glucose,’ Liz confirms as I stare at her blankly. _My god!_  

‘What the actual _fuck_ Liz? You've _allowed_ a rapist, _Alex’s grandmother’s rapist_ _and co-murderer,_ _to_ _walk the streets_ _all these years_ _!’_ I bark in utter disgust as Liz rises from her chair. 

‘Hence my prior request. His case was deemed a mistrial due to my involvement in Agnes’ trial against a previous rapist. _Jesus_... I’m so sorry Alex,’ Donnelly’s tone anguished as my life also stands. ‘And he’s not walking.’ 

‘What was that about a clear conscience earlier?’ she whispers icily as she advances on Donnelly. _Don’t!_ My life doesn't heed my warning. ‘You allowed a known rapist, who happened to be a Congressman,’ Alex is fully aware if Liz had truly been an Omega, her husband would have raped her, if he'd raped Agnes. ‘...near my grandmother to keep your career on track? You invited her into your home so you could keep her ‘safe’, knowing full well your husband doesn’t have a _fucking_ _conscience_ _!_ ’ Alex snaps as she stands directly in front of this powerhouse Alpha. Donnelly remains stiffly frozen. ‘Where is he... _no_ _w_ _?_ _!’_ I’ve never heard my life sound so desperate as I feel the rage coursing thru her body.  

‘He's bed bound. I... He... He was a mild-mannered Omega; always so submissive, docile and amenable. If I’d had any inkling at all... _Trust me!_ I would never...’ Liz tries to explain as Alex backs away and begins pacing the room, running her fingers thru her hair in disgust and shock. 

‘I need to get out of here before you have to kill me!’ my Omega snarls as she bolts for the door.  

'Listen to me...' Liz shouts, desperate to explain herself.

 _‘Alex!_ Sweetie,’ I call after Alex, cutting Donnelly short. My life stops, her hand on the doorknob. ‘I’m sorry to ask this but I _need_ you to stay here. Liz has my piece. I can’t leave without it. We’d both be vulnerable. _Please_ , my life,’ I beg as I gaze into her iridescent eyes. After interminable minutes, my Omega finally steps away from the door. I breathe for the first time since entering Donnelly's office.


	46. Clarity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex, Olivia and Liz continued...
> 
> Rating: Very Mature Content
> 
> Caution recommended: mentions of suicide.

‘I won’t let you leave until you listen to me,’ Liz states evenly, her head nodding in agreement at my words. 

Alex turns to Donnelly, her chest heaving as she tries to fathom the woman before her. ‘You knew how to make Omega’s…’ she struggles for the appropriate word. ‘…immune and you didn’t tell my mother…’ she continues as she shakes her head in disgust. ‘My grandmother died because _you_ won the immunity, because your husband couldn't control himself. My mother ended her life because she couldn’t handle the thought of another person touching her. You _never_ told her…’ my life gasps as her emotions flood her. ‘And what’s fucking worse: when she killed herself, you allowed her four-year-old daughter to stay at home with her brother, her step father, never intending to save or at least educate her about an existence you yourself know only to _well_ _!’_ My Omega takes a breath. ‘The years of abuse and suffering you could have prevented if only you’d…’ 

‘I told your mother,’ I look from Alex to Liz, shock immobilising my body. _What?_ ‘I told her,’ Liz repeats quietly as she sniffs her emotions away. My stomach turns as I take in my life’s disbelief. A moments silence passes between us. ‘Your mother wasn’t like Agnes… like you. She had a darkness that could not be overcome. I thought she told you before she passed. It was only once I was informed of your case that I wondered. When I walked in on you in the interrogation room, I knew. I knew you hadn’t been told. I’m so sorry Alex. If I’d known…’ 

‘If you knew, then, why didn’t you mention it when you interrogated me for those twenty minutes?’ my life asks the direct question as she inhales a steadying breath, her eyes pinning Donnelly. I swallow to prevent the nausea from taking hold as I try to comprehend this harrowingly disturbing situation. 

Donnelly sits on the edge of her desk, her face pale and drawn as she returns Alex’s gaze. ‘Because I’m convinced telling your mother accelerated her suicide,’ Liz replies bluntly as she runs a hand thru her hair, her finely tuned façade falling by the way _side. What?_  

‘What?’ Alex whispers as the blood drains from her face, her hand quickly finding the back of a chair to remain standing. My body jolts with adrenaline, ready to support my life, as I dig my nails into my palms to stop myself throttling this bitch to death.  

‘If you don’t tell us…’ I begin, my hackles raised and my teeth bared. 

‘What Detective? What will you do?’ Liz challenges as she looks directly at me. Instead of finding a smug authority, her expression conveys an exhaustion from carrying a life time of secrets. I shut my mouth and breathe in an attempt to swallow my rage towards Donnelly in favour of compassion for my Omega.  

Liz tears her challenging gaze away from mine and glances at my life. ‘Alex? If I risk telling you, I don’t think I can survive another loss,’ she utters breathlessly as a lone tear moistens the barren desert of her face.  

My heart hammers against my rib cage as my lungs seize, knowing the method must be sufficiently repugnant to warrant death over immunity. _Fuck._ My vision blurs for a moment. I blink rapidly to clear my vision as my pulse roars in my ears. Goose pimples prickle my skin as the sheer reality of Alex’s life, of Donnelly’s guilt-ridden existence, come into stark focus. _Hell. Their lives have been hell._ _No wonder darkness_ _has been/is_ _so attractive._  

‘I… I need to know,’ my Omega states unconvincingly as I walk towards her. I gaze into her eyes, asking, pleading for permission to console her but she shakes her head. _No._ _Don’t touch me. I can’t break right now._ I heed her silent declination. I settle my eyes on hers instead: _I love you._ Alex turns away before my silent affection sparks further tears. I back off; feeling redundant and uncertain. 

‘You won’t like this Alex,’ Liz warns as she stares at my life, anxiety written into every line of their bodies. ‘I’m not sure I can do this,’ Donnelly whispers, sounding so vulnerable, I glance in her direction to ensure there isn’t a fourth person in the room. 

‘I _need_ to know,’ Alex repeats as she paces the room, her hands running up and down her arms in a self-comforting gesture. The room couldn’t be warmer. ‘And I’m in a different position. I have an Alpha who loves me.’ My heart swells. ‘If I can survive being tied down and raped for seven hours… If I can survive almost every family member, every ‘friend’, every doctor, every… _everyone_ abusing me, I can take this,’ Alex stresses as she suddenly stands resolute; her every fibre emanating steely determination. 

Donnelly sighs heavily as she shakes her head in thought. ‘I... I don’t want to add to an already hopeless situation. You head needs to be on _your_ case, _not_ this!’ 

I swallow my ready ire as Alex steps toward Liz. ‘You started this. You decided on this road the moment you forcibly detained us,’ my Omega counters seamlessly. My life inhales a shuddering breath as she attempts to reign in her emotions. As with Donnelly, I’m shocked at her efficiency in this regard. ‘I admire your honesty. But if you don’t finish what you’ve started _and_ let us _out_ of here, safely armed, I’ll literally _lose_ my head,’ Alex states coolly, emphasising every syllable for maximum impact. 

‘I know,’ Liz agrees as she looks away before we see the hopelessness in her eyes. She sighs once more before she licks her lips. ‘If that... if that mangy dual blood had raped you, you may have transitioned.’ I stare at Donnelly; mine and Alex's inability to comprehend the hienacity of her words, achingly apparent. ‘In order to transition, you have to mate with another Omega, preferably pure blood to give you the best chance of _winning_ immunity,’ Liz explains, utilising Alex's phrase to make her point. ‘Like two negatives making a positive. But it’s not entirely certain. I transitioned even though I was trying to give Agnes immunity. If that mutt had raped you, he may very well have transitioned himself.’ 

My Omega lowers herself into a seat, her head in her hands. I stay put, willing myself not to break and ignore Alex’s wishes. _Stay_ _Olivia!_ ‘This is...’ I utter thru gritted teeth as my soul dies with the possibility of saving Alex from a life of trauma. _Jesus fucking Christ!_ Tears free fall down my face as my heart breaks at the sight of my Omega trying not to fall apart. _My love._  

‘I know... I’m _sorry_ Alex... Olivia,’ Liz whispers softly, her own shoulders shaking as she completely loses the fight to hold her emotions in check. ‘ _God_ , I’m so sorry!’ she repeats as her entire body begins to tremble, as the years of guilt and secrets burst from every fibre of her being. ‘Please forgive me. I thought I’d done everything... I could... Then two extraordinary women died and another was almost killed because _I_ didn’t do enough, _share_ enough... _protect enoug_ _h!’_   

I watch in horror; recognising the sheer despair emanating from this once insurmountable Alpha’s body as the drought finally subsides.  

‘Liz,’ I wheeze hoarsely. ‘I’m sorry you felt you had to carry this alone, all these years.’ _It’s only then, I realise my compassion_ _has been_ _entire_ _ly focused on my Omega, until this moment. Donnelly is a victim, a survivor_ _,_ _too. A victim of circumstance. Circumstances completely outside of her control_ _. Fuck!_   

‘Liz,’ my life finally finds her voice. ‘I need to get out of here... to... to think this thru and... I just need to get of here... okay? _Please?’_ she near begs as Donnelly opens her locked draw and gives us back our effects. My hand visibly shakes as I hold my piece at my side. 

‘Do your worst Detective,’ Liz offers herself to me, making my vision blur once more. 

‘No, Your Honor... and call me Olivia,’ I offer quietly as I walk my outwardly recovered Omega to the office door. As Alex exits with Fin, I glance at the woman I came in hating and fearing; knowing I’m leaving in awe of her.  

‘Olivia,’ Donnelly acquiesces, speaking my name softly for the first time. She offers me her hand. I take it.  

 _Anger m_ _anagement class: dismissed._  


	47. TLC

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Olivia return to Liz's cabin.
> 
> Rating: Very Mature Content.
> 
> Mentions of self harm/suicide.

Rush hour prevents me from following my life and Fin at break neck speed. When I lose sight of their car in the mirage of lights, my heart almost stops.

Only once I pull up next to their empty vehicle at Liz's cabin, do I unclench my aching jaw and sigh in soul numbing relief. _Safely home_.

I hurry into the house and find Fin sat on the couch, deep in thought, in the darkness. I touch his shoulder, causing him to flinch in surprise.

‘Sorry Fin,’ I murmur as I replace my hand on his bicep. He gestures towards the bedroom before withdrawing to his thoughts once more.

I squeeze his arm before I walk to the bedroom door. I knock softly. When no reply is forthcoming, I knock again. When I still receive no response, I open the door slightly, scanning the room for my Omega.

The room is empty. Adrenaline courses thru my veins as I move towards the ensuite bathroom. _Please!_ I beg the fates, knowing Alex's psyche could be on a knife edge.

As I approach, I hear the reassuring sound of running water. I knock to announce my presence. My already frayed nerves jostle once more when no acknowledgment sounds. I knock again. Nothing. ‘Alex?’ I hear the lock turn. _Thank Christ!_ my mind screams as I thank fates that my Omega hasn’t taken her life.

I open the door slowly, nervous of what I may find. _She might still have hurt herself_. My heart contracts painfully as I take in the breathtakingly dejected sight of Alex sitting upright in the running bath, fully clothed, hugging her knees, her eyes staring off into space as her body rocks slightly back and forth.

I edge round the door into the small bathroom and lock it behind me. Alex doesn’t move as I squat down beside her. I realise her eyes are glazed, her chest is panting, her skin is covered in a film of sweat as she relives a trauma I will never entirely comprehend. _My life_. Aware she is in the throes of a panic attack, I know talking won’t help. Instead, I slowly reach for her face, from the front, so she knows exactly where I am and what I plan to do.

Alex flinches as I cup her jaw and draw her glazed eyes to mine. My Omega allows my touch to remain against her skin as she finally meets my gaze. _Oh god!_ Never, in all my years of policing, have I seen such a soul shatteringly defeated expression in someone’s eyes. My stomach drops to the floor as my skin prickles with anxiety. _I love you, so much_ , I bellow silently into her core as I thumb a lone tear from her cheek. Alex blinks her eyes as she fights to focus on me. _Come on my life, you can do this!_ my mind screams as I watch her gasp for air and undo the buttons on her blouse to stop the constricting feeling of being smothered.

Alex's dilated pupils stare at me, pleading for me to stay, to love her, to save her. _I will, always_. I cradle her jaw as I inhale deeply, then exhale even deeper. _Inhale 1, 2, 3, 4. Exhale 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. Inhale 1, 2.._ I watch her try to breathe with me. It doesn’t work.

‘Search for three things you can see, sweetie. Focus on them, breathe them in; their texture, their colour, their shape.’ I try not to blush as Alex’s cloudy blues alternate between my lips and my eyes. _She’s found her three_. Her iridescent orbs literally drink me in as she focuses her entire being on my features.

My boots squelch soundlessly as I subtly change my leaning leg. _The taps... fuck it!_ I decide, drawing all of my attention back to my Omega.

‘Now focus on two things you can smell,’ I suggest as Alex continues to peruse my face, her breathing staying more in rhythm with mine. My life leans forward ever so slightly, her nose millimetres from my skin as she inhales a shuddering breath. _Jesus... don't!_ I reprimand myself, knowing my own pupils are now entirely dilated. Alex doesn’t search for another scent; mine enough to meet her needs. My life’s breathing becomes less desperate but I notice a strained resonance to her shallow breaths.

‘Now... one thing you can touch... feel...’ I stutter awkwardly, as I try to mask the breathless arousal surging thru my vocal cords.

Alex draws her arms around me and pulls my body into her. My life continues in this vein until I'm climbing into the tub behind her. I tremble at the coldness of the water but my animal hunger thanks fates for lessening my inappropriately rioting desire. I envelope her in a bear hug from behind and hold her, knowing I will never let go. _Ever!_ My Omega pushes me back until I’m leaning against the end of the tub, her back resting securely into my clothed chest. My arms lock over her abdomen in a protective and dominant embrace, her hands covering mine, her head nestling into the crook of my neck. I breathe in my life’s scent as I hear the softest sigh escape her lips. I plant a kiss on her temple as my heart soars and drops in equal measure. _My heroin. My life. My soul. My Omega._

Hours pass as I feel my life’s panic subside. At some point, I turn the tap off to ensure the basement doesn’t gain it’s own swimming pool. Other than this practical necessity, neither of us move.

The cold is seeping into my bones. I feel Alex shiver involuntarily. I make the decision. I start to move under my Omega until she comprehends and leans forward, causing the freezing water to slosh over the side. _Fuck it’s cold!_ My life begins to tremble in earnest. I move as quickly as my frozen body will allow. I stand in the tub then pull Alex into my arms and carry her to the small shower. I lay her down in the basin and pull the shower head away from her to test the temperature. _The floors already soaked..._ I reason.

Once it’s lukewarm, I shower Alex’s chilled frame as I part her soaked clothes from her body. She allows me to undress her without argument as she sits obediently under the warming spray.

My hands leave her body, causing Alex to whimper in anguish. I quickly squeeze shower gel into my palms before I begin to wash the horrors, the truths of today away. My life keeps her eyes pinned on me, as though I’m her only anchor in this hell: her life. I meet her gaze several times, asking for permission to wash every inch of her body as my lungs seize at the expression in her cloudy blue eyes. _Numb disbelief. That’s the look in her eyes._ It breaks my heart and destroys my soul.

Once I’ve finished washing her, my skin withdraws for mere seconds as I reach for a towel. A similar whimper escapes her lips before contact is reaffirmed.

I towel down her tossled locks and body before I pick her up and carry her to our bed. As soon as I tuck my life in, she curls into the foetal position. I finally shed my sodden clothing and quickly towel myself down using Alex’s damp but warming hair towel before I scoot in behind her, spooning every inch of her body.

I nuzzle into my life's neck and jaw as my arms envelope her body in my protective embrace once more. _I’m here and I always will be._

It’s only then, after hours of overwhelmed numbness, that my beautifully spirited Alexandra Cabot finally allows herself to cry.


	48. Uncertainty vs Certainty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia and Alex try to talk/heal.  
> Back in the Courtroom.
> 
> Rating: Explicit Content.

3:34am

After a restless few hours, I sense my life rise from the bed and enter the bathroom. I rub my eyes as I attempt to quieten my selfish instinct to burst into the ensuite. _You have to trust her, Liv. Fuck!_ I thread my fingers thru my hair as I strain every muscle to stop myself jumping out of bed.  

Minutes pass before the door opens. I can’t help but sit up abruptly, my eyes looking her over for injuries.  

‘Liv, I’m not going to hurt myself,’ Alex whispers as she comprehends my perusal. ‘Sweetie? _Please_ believe me. I will _never_ do to you what my mother did to me,’ she reassures me as she kneels on the bed beside me.  

‘I hate your mother,’ I spit out before I can control myself. Guilt splinters my heart as I raise my eyes to meet hers. ‘I’m sorry,’ I mutter, biting my lip. My life runs her fingers thru my ruffled hair as she surveys me, her cloudy blues wide and understanding. 

‘I know. I did too for a long time. But hate breeds bitterness. Bitterness breeds despair,’ Alex says with such knowing, my lungs seize. ‘I can’t allow myself to despair. Not anymore. Please sweetie, don’t despair for me,’ she pleads as she runs a finger over my cheekbone. 

‘I can’t lose you,’ I stress earnestly as I take her hand and kiss each digit in turn. ‘I don’t know what I’d…’ I admit as tears fill my eyes. 

‘Olivia, look at me,’ Alex demands as I submit to my rioting emotions. ‘You. Will. Not. Lose. Me. _Believe_ me, my Alpha.’ I gaze into her eyes in awe, _my spirited_ _Omega_ _._ I inhale a shuddering breath to stem my self-pity. ‘I love you. I will never desert you, _ever_ ,’ Alex stresses as she wipes the last tear from my skin, her lips mere inches from mine. 

I kiss her, possessively. Her mouth submits entirely to my immediate desire as I clutch her nape, keeping her lips on mine as I explore her naked body with my other fingers. _God!_ I sigh internally as I feel a desperate need to physically re-connect with my Omega. I taste the same urgency in my life’s efforts as she tries to push me down onto the bed. I don’t relent, wishing to be dominant, _needing_ to be dominant in our love making. I pull her beneath me in one swift motion, taking her by surprise as we continue the kiss, her gasp at my lips quiet and obedient. As Alex cradles my jaw, I nibble her bottom lip, my skin tingling with every brush of my life’s intoxicating flesh. I acquiesce to my bodies need to cover hers; my hands and lips discovering new wonders with each journey across the lush plains of her exquisite form. 

Alex nuzzles my shoulder as I quickly attach my member, my hand guiding her legs around my waist; my shaft teasing her entrance as her arms encircle my neck. I hear my life moan in anticipation as my fingers slide down her body. Its almost my undoing as I stop her fingers mirroring mine. _Not yet._ My fingers delve into her folds, glorifying in the moist arousal I find there. I begin stroking her, slowly, teasingly; wishing for her crescendo to build from the tips of her toes to the top of her head. My attempts fail miserably as my Omega gasps into the hollow of my neck, her climax scorching thru her stiffening body like molten lava. Alex continues to shudder and whimper as my fingers don't let up. I relentlessly tickle her clit, causing my life to wrap herself still tighter around my body in her desperation to never let go. A moan escapes her lips as another orgasm rips thru her trembling form, leaving her gasping in blissful euphoria. My fingers persist as Alex tries again to pleasure me. I halt her advance once more as my member slowly penetrates her core. I feel my life swelling and contracting as her rioting climax feeds up my shaft, coaxing my own desire to distraction. Without a moment’s pause, I begin thrusting into my Omega, my thumb replacing my fingers over her clitoris; massaging, stroking and rubbing yet more burning arousal from my Alex’s core.  

I take ownership of her lips once more as my body keens for release. My member drives against my engorged clit as the dual end pulses inside me, bringing me closer to oblivion. My life catches me off guard as her fingers succeed in trailing to my folds as she rips her mouth from mine to breathe. Her nails coax the first whispers of ecstasy from me before I can bat her hand away; not wishing to completely fall under her spell until I’ve had my fill of my life’s pleasure.  

I feel Alex’s breath, hot and fast, against my shoulder as I drive myself exquisitely slowly, back and forth, into my life’s sex. My thumb doesn’t relent as my life releases me from her desperate hold; her muscles too overcome by blissful waves of mind-numbing pleasure to do more than drown in it.  

The emotions dancing across her features enthral me as I continue stroking eruption after eruption of liquid heat from her core. Her pupils are fully dilated, she bites her lip before she gasps in ecstasy, her forehead slightly creased in concentration, a film of glistening perspiration making her intoxicating flesh even more enchanting as I give her one final stroke with my thumb and thrust of my member which completely undoes my hauntingly breath-taking Omega.  

Alex inhales short, sharp breaths as she tries to ground herself. I nuzzle myself into her, my member still inside her as my Omega folds herself into me.  

‘Liv...’ She whispers breathlessly, once she finds her voice. My heart constricts, knowing. ‘I love you so much but... I need you to stop treating me like a porcelain doll,’ I gaze into her cloudy blues, confused. ‘Before you, I used to bury myself in my work, in my in-house gym, in anything to get away from the vile truth I’m societies _plaything_ ,’ my Omega near snarls in disgust. I begin to realise Alex is talking about last night, this morning _and_ our recent love making. _Shit!_ ‘I… I almost feel weaker now than before. Before, I’d somehow survive. Now I… I lean on you. I’ve lost me; my identity because I’m so reliant on my Alpha…’ I extricate myself from my Omega and stand, uncertain of what to say or do, though my heart plummets with each word she utters, knowing it’s the truth. ‘I think I’m going insane… please forget everything I just said…’ Alex states nervously as she glances at me properly for the first time. The look in her eyes haunts me. _Please, my love._ A lump blocks my throat. I swallow thickly to stem the ready tears. ‘I’m so sorry,’ my life whispers as she stares at me, a flood of emotions crossing her features. 'I _hate_ feeling like this!’ she finally admits, frustrated. _Fire_ _,_ _I can work with._ I stay purposefully silent in hopes Alex will ignite before burning out, knowing externalising confusion and uncertainty will eventually either find the path and/or exhaust the unhelpful thought processes causing her to be stuck.  

‘I could kill someone right now,’ my life whispers, unshed tears shining in her eyes as she turns away from me. I stop myself going to her, understanding she needs space to vent. ‘I want to kill him, them, _all of them._ Anyone whose ever raped, touched, groped, forcible kissed an Omega! How the _fuck_ hasn’t someone made a sanctuary for us?’ my life asks rhetorically as she rises from the bed and stalks the room. ‘ _Oh yes_ , because the big wigs want to keep us docile, obedient and helpless. _Ready for the taking!’_ Alex barks aggressively _._ ‘My 39 year old grandmother was murdered by a congressman and a police office who were meant to be guarding her and still no one saw the wider problem. Yes, Cragen partner is in prison. Yes, something happened to incapacitate Liz’s... husband. But... I _hate_ my life and I can’t imagine how many others are suffering, utterly helpless and alone,’ Alex quietens as her harsh words reverberate in my ears. _She hates her life._ Even though it shouldn’t shock me, my selfish side is screaming: _but you have me now!_ I swallow it down as my compassion wins out: _of course I understand, as far as a non Omega can. Who wouldn’t?_  

A solitary tear runs down my Omega's exquisite cheek as she stares into my eyes. ‘If we win this case, what then? Three mangy strays will be incarcerated but there are thousands more who will attempt or succeed in raping me. This case.... _why?_ ’ This one heart-breaking word scars my soul; _my life is questioning the very core of every decision she has made since waking up in that hospital bed..._  

‘Because you met me?’ I offer myself up, knowing if I hadn’t been there, she would have ended her life. Being sat by her hospital bed gave Alex the strength to see beyond the stone wall of abuse; of possible relief and freedom from everything she had experienced up until that point. _I’ve dangled a carrot of possibility in front of her. But the moment I’m absent, my life is_ _heart_ _-_ _breakingly_ _vulnerable._  

Alex steps towards me. ‘You _are_ the best thing to ever happen to me,’ she reassures me as she runs a finger over my jawline. ‘But sometimes I wonder whether jumping would have been better. Because instead of one tortured soul, there are now two...’ my Omega whispers brokenly, as she gazes thru me. ‘It’s tearing me apart,’ she continues as her body shudders painfully in conflict, in soul destroying guilt. 

‘Listen...’ I say, trying to coax her back, to ground her. ‘... my love. Hear me when I say...’ 

‘Liz said I need to mate with a pure blood Omega to have the best chance of transitioning. I can only _imagine_ how that made you feel. After everything you’ve done for me: the love you’ve shown me, the worth you’ve taught me; you're being told you aren't enough. But you are, Liv. You’re _everything_ to me...’  

I take hold of my life, utterly aware of the signs of an overwhelmed mind. I slip my arm around her waist and cup her jaw with my free hand, hoping my touch will ground her. ‘Look at me,’ I request forcefully. Alex does. My skin prickles at the sheer power of her gaze. ‘I. Love. You. I will _forever_ love you,’ I stress as delicately as I can as my fingers brush her tears away. ‘Feel this,’ I grasp her hand and place it over my heart. I feel her breath against my skin as I stare into her soul. ‘This is and will forever be yours, no matter what happens. That’s all you need to know. _This_...’ I emphasize as I squeeze her hand softly. ‘... is home. I don’t think you’ll ever know quite how much I love you,’ I breathe as my voice breaks under the emotions rioting thru me. 

My Alex gazes at me silently, tears pooling in her hollow cheeks as she drinks in my words, my scent, my everything. I try to stay routed, wanting my life to direct what happens next, even as every cell in my body aches to make love to her again. 

Alex moves her lips closer to mine as she ruffles the hair at my nape with her fingers. _Stay!_ I command myself. She brushes her intoxicating lips against mine so delicately, I almost cry out in pain. My Omega brings her other hand up to cradle my face as she takes my mouth more forcefully, her tongue making short work of my lips and teeth, invading my mouth with practiced efficiency. I audibly groan, trying not to break as Alex whimpers into me, her tears continuing to flow as she ravages my mouth.  

It takes every fibre of strength to pull back and clutch her jaw to steady us both. ‘Lex... _please_. Is this... w-what you want?’ I stammer, uncomfortable with the idea of dominating her when she's near inconsolable. My life nods into my palm as her tears flow in earnest, her eyes conveying a desperation I’ve seldom seen. _Jesus Christ!_  

‘I _need_ you,’ comes her quiet but determined voice. ‘Dominate me, my Alpha.’ 

  _Yes Ma'am._

 

8:47am 

Alex has already strode into the court house with Fin. I fight my way thru the press and succeed in gaining entry without being molested. _Improvement_. 

I receive a text from Fin: _In the courtroom, crowded_ _!_ I pick up my pace. My skin beads with sweat as I survey the number of bodies in the room. _What the fuck?!_ My hand hovers over my gun nervously as I realise Fin and I are the only two ‘guards’ in the room. I catch sight of Alex. I sense my life’s understandable anxiety because she’s stood up and facing the room. Even whilst evaluating the threats before her, my life exudes an air of confident elegance. _I’m here_. Once she spies me, she subtly changes her stance.  

I usurp an unknown entity from _my_ seat as I continue to evaluate the room. _Who are all these people?_  

‘What the hell is going on here? Where are the court stewards?’ comes the indomitable voice of Judge Elizabeth Donnelly. Knowing neither Fin or I can leave the room with the situation so precarious, Donnelly quickly calls in reinforcements as the defence team snigger. I swallow to stop my ready anger erupting. _Breathe Olivia!_ _Later,_ I promise myself.  

Four court marshals eventually arrive and abruptly deal with the excess number of attendees.  

Only once the courtroom quietens and my life finally turns to face Liz, do I unclench my jaw and withdraw my nails from my bleeding palms. I observe Alex inhale several deep breaths to calm herself. I mirror her. 

‘Why the delay?’ Liz's cutting voice reverberates off the marble as her disgust at the last twenty minutes reveals itself. ‘I’ve never experienced such unprofessionalism in all my decades in court. Do you have _any_ idea what a closed court means? How the... _hell_ was that _allowed_ to happen?’ I can see Liz trying to control her anger, trying to stop herself from verbalising something that will lead to a mistrial or potentially worse consequences. ‘I expect a thorough investigation into this unacceptable lapse in privacy,’ she continues in a more restrained vein before she turns to Alex. ‘Miss Cabot, all I can offer are my sincerest apologies and a certainty that this will be investigated. If foul play is proved, those responsible will be prosecuted,’ Liz promises before she turns the two press staff. ‘This will not form part of your article. The same certainty applies to you if you decide to,’ Donnelly threatens evenly before she leaves to be appropriately introduced to the courtroom.  

For the entirety of Liz's statement, my eyes didn't leave Lionel _fucking_ Granger. His smirk remained throughout the entire situation. He side glances me and winks. _You fucker!_ _He_ _want_ _s_ _me barred..._  

Several minutes later, the trial finally resumes...


	49. Second Witness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexandra Cabot finds her rhythm but will the defence team try to disrupt it?
> 
> Rating: Explicit Content
> 
> Read with caution.

‘Approach,’ Liz commands as soon as she re-enters the courtroom. All four attorneys obey at once. ‘There will be no further games in my court room. No more ‘ill’ defendants, no more open court,’ Donnelly states with barely concealed rage. 

‘I like the way Your Honour checked on Miss Cabot’s welfare but not our clients,’ Granger snipes petulantly. 

‘The entire defence team, _including_ _your_ clients, appeared to be enjoying the violation of privacy... _t_ _oo_ much,’ Liz counters in disgust. Buchannan’s smirk adds fuel to her already sparking furnace. ‘Anymore games and I’ll throw you in a cell. This is not a stage for insider jokes, violating privacy or pushing boundaries. Do I make myself clear?’ she asks, eyeballing each attorney in turn. The defence team nod their heads in affirmation. ‘Step back,’ she concludes her reprimand abruptly. The defence team walk back to their bench. Alex remains standing, waiting for Liz’s assertion to continue. ‘Miss Cabot, your next witness.’ 

Alex nods in acknowledgement. ‘The People would like to call Doctor Annie Hermann,’ she states crisply as her witness takes the stand. I recognise the doctor from _that_ night.  

After Dr Hermann is sworn in, Alex approaches her. ‘Please can you state your name, your occupation and your experience in years.’ 

‘Doctor Annie Jennifer Hermann and I’m an A&E physician with specialism in sexual care. I’ve worked in this role for 27 years,’ Alex’s witness responds succinctly.  

‘With specialism in sexual care?’ Alex prompts to give the jury an introduction to what will be a harrowing day. 

‘If I’m not busy with a pile up or something similar, I work with suspected rape and abuse victims,’ the doctor answers briefly. _She’s obviously been coached by Alex to give the_ _bear_ _minimum to halt the number of objections. The word_ _‘_ _suspected_ _’_ _was strategically place_ _d_ _for this very reason._  

‘Was there a pile up on the evening I was admitted?’ my life questions expertly. Alex hasn't shared her witness prep with me; to stop any potential repercussions, but also because most of her work was completed during my withdrawal. _I hate that I wasn’t there for her._  

‘Yes, on 34th and 8th,’ Dr Hermann replies. 

‘Why did you become my practitioner, given there was a RTC, that night?’ _Clever._ Alex leans against the witness stand, wanting to make sure everyone hears the doctors next words. 

‘I was given your case because we had serious suspicions you’d been assaulted. The responding paramedics reported you’d been found naked, tied down, with bodily fluids covering the entirety of your body and injuries consistent with being abused,’ the doctor responds more broadly but refrains from using the word ‘rape’ just yet. Alex crosses her arms in an unconscious, comforting gesture as details, no one ever wishes to disclose, are shared factually in a closed court in front of the very people who caused her trauma.   

‘Objection!’ Kressler hollers as he stands. ‘This witness has been coached to within an inch of her life. I’m intrigued by these ‘serious suspicions’ and ‘injury consistencies’?’ he states uselessly as Alex turns to Liz. 

‘Maybe if he allows my witness to speak, his intrigue will dissipate,’ my life counters icily, knowing the only reason he objected was to rile her and stop the doctors flow. 

‘If there's another ridiculous objection, I’ll hold you in contempt! Tow the line, defence team!’ Liz states ominously as Kressler quickly retakes his seat. 

‘When you say assaulted, what kind of assault are you referring to?’ Alex continues effortlessly, returning her attention to her witness. 

‘Rape,’ the doctor replies briefly. 

‘Why did you have such suspicions over, say, a role play gone wrong?’ my life coaxes evenly, her voice and movements never portraying any suggestion they are talking about _her_. 

‘In all my years as an emergency sexual health practitioner, I have never seen someone so injured, yet still alive,’ Dr Hermann states with utter conviction as the room pauses for an objection. None sounds. 

I watch Alex swallow quickly before she places her palm on the witness stand. ‘And what were my injuries?’ my Omega owns the hienacity of this case for the first time. 

‘There were so many that it was agreed Bellvue would provide the defence, the judge and the head juror with a copy of your medical report (for sharing with the remaining jury members privately in a secure room, later today), so as not to take up several days of court time explaining the clinical meaning behind each injury,’ the doctor offers as the defence theatrically peruse their said copies. One of the strays leans over Granger to savour his handy work. 

‘Lionel, control your client,’ Donnelly snarls as Granger swiftly lowers his paper. I growl in utter disgust, knowing without a shadow of a doubt both men are currently aroused by reading the damage caused to my Omega. I turn to my life who doesn’t blink before facing her witness once more. 

‘Can you give an indication of my status on arrival?’ Alex questions seamlessly, ignoring the repulsive rutting in the defence corner. 

‘You had bite marks on every part of your body, besides your face. You had rope burns from ligatures, a fractured left eye socket, three cracked ribs and internal injuries consistent with a savage attack…’ 

‘Objection!’ Buchannan shouts as he rises from his chair. ‘Savage attack? That’s your humble opinion, not actual fact…’ 

‘If your anus had similar injuries, would you not think the attack was savage?’ Alex can’t stop herself but keeps her tone steady. 

‘Miss Cabot!’ Liz chimes in, more for effect than actually meaning it. ‘Overruled.’ 

I watch my Alex take a breath. ‘Did I require surgery?’  

‘No, but I conducted some internal stitching whilst you were unconscious,’ the doctor reveals factually. 

‘Why was I unconscious?’  

‘Due to your injuries, we sedated you to aide healing.’ 

‘Did you conduct any examinations, scans, tests?’ Alex opens the door. 

‘Yes, we conducted CT and MRI scans. A full blood work including STD’s and AIDS. I also conducted a rape kit.’ The doctor walks thru it. 

‘And what did the rape kit show?’ my life queries, her voice even, her nerves steely. 

‘The rape kit showed you had been penetrated so violently, your cervix had detached from the vaginal wall. There was also extensive evidence of recent vaginal and anal tearing. Swabs revealed semen from three different men. You were also treated for Chlamydia and thrush brought on by the attack. We also administered further antibiotics to ward off internal infection,’ Dr Hermann states succinctly as I feel the blood drain from my face.  

‘Anything else doctor?’ Alex gives her witness the space, just in case.  

‘Your distress and behaviour on being admitted was haunting. I’ve seen rape victims act in all sorts of ways but you... you were so battered, so hurt but you had this steel about you. Even when you cried, you had a strength…’ 

‘Objection!’ comes the inevitable voice of Lionel Granger; not wanting to be left out of making Alex’s life as uncomfortable as possible. 

‘Sustained,’ Liz agrees immediately, recognising the doctors answer has escaped the realm of fact.  

‘How long did I stay in hospital?’ 

‘Five days but you should have stayed longer.’ 

‘How long should I have stayed?’ _My life discharged herself to return to her safe place._  

‘At least nine. We were concerned for your health,’ the witness admits as she looks at Alex with genuine empathy. 

‘Were you concerned about anything else?’ Alex prods deeper, knowing exactly what the doctor is about to say. 

‘Yes. Three days into your stay, I walked into you hospital room to find one of my now ex-colleagues touching you and herself inappropriately.’ _What?_  

‘Please can you provide more detail for the jury,’ Alex requests as she steps away from the witness stand to fully view their reactions. 

‘My colleague was touching you and herself around the sexual organs,’ Dr Hermann confirms as the jury gasp. 

‘And what condition was I in at the time?’ This question to assuage any thoughts Alex was a willing participant. 

‘You were unconscious thru sedation. You had no idea what was happening to you,’ the doctor answers as I actively avoid my life’s eyes, not wishing to interrupt her flow. _Fucking Christ!_  

‘What happened to your now ex-colleague?’ Alex asks as she turns away from me, reading my mind. 

‘She has been suspended pending an investigation,’ Dr Hermann replies as the room becomes heavy with unspoken shock. 

‘Has your colleague ever been suspected of such behaviour before?’ Alex asks to add veracity to this information. 

‘She had a clean record. She was not generally supervised so we can’t be certain, but we received raving references from her previous jobs and nothing came up during vetting. Never a complaint against her. Quite the reverse.’  

My life turns to the defence. ‘Your witness,’ she says with such calm politeness, I almost don’t detect the icy hostility behind each syllable. Alex sits down and clutches both arms of her chair in wait. 

Defence Creep stands, his tongue slathering his lips like he’s preparing to eat a feast. I clutch my gun possessively. 

‘Dr Hermann, considering you’re a doctor of high standing, how come you didn't offer Miss Cabot birth control?’ the way he asks the heinous question makes him sound so sincere. _Revoltingly_ _so._  

‘Miss Cabot doesn't have a uterus,’ the witness answers bluntly. 

Granger drums his lip in feigned thought. ‘As a result of the incident?’ 

‘No.’ We all know he can’t directly ask about a previous medical procedure. The doctor shuts him down further. _Good._  

‘Were there any other injuries of note to Miss Cabot’s vagina?’ I notice my life tense as Defence Creep focuses on the most damaging part of Alex’s medical. _Fuck!_  

The doctor swallows thickly before she answers. ‘Miss Cabot has severe vaginal scarring.’  

‘And what does that scarring suggest?’ Granger questions in the same infuriatingly sincere tone.   

‘Persistently violent sexual assault,’ Dr Hermann replies sharply.  

‘Could anything else have caused it?’ Defence Creep near sighs as he smirks at Alex, purposely hiding his goading expression from Donnelly. I can’t see my life's face but from the way Granger diverts his cowardly eyes first, he received the Cabot Death Stare. My clit twinges in awe as my heart ricochets in my chest. _Alexandra Cabot is no China doll._  

‘I’d never seen scarring to that extent before but I have found tearing in adults, after certain sexual practices. But not to that...’ 

Granger cuts her off. ‘So you’re saying these scars could have been caused by rough, consensual sex?’ One of the defendants guffaws in amusement as my hackles spike. 

‘Mr Kressler, you're one whisker away from a hard mattress. _Control your client!_ And Mr Daniels, another sound out of you and _I’ll throw you in general pop!_ _’_ Liz howls, making the courtroom shake. 

‘Your Honour,’ Kressler states in acknowledgement. 

‘Continue,’ Liz says more evenly. 

Dr Hermann glances at Alex briefly, chewing her lip distractedly before she meets Defence Creeps eyes. ‘Yes. But I’ve never seen...’ 

‘Thank you for your time Dr Hermann,’ Granger stifles her once more as he walks back to the defence bench. 

‘Redirect, Your Honour?’ Alex stands immediately.  

‘Granted,’ Liz agrees promptly. _Yes!_  

‘Please finish what you were saying Dr Hermann,’ my life offers. 

The witness inhales a steadying breath. ‘I... I’ve never seen such scarring in all my decades on the ward. _Ever_ _!_ I’ve seen gang rape victims, abused children, abused adults, abused elderly. Every kind of sex ‘game’ gone wrong or right,’ the doctor pauses to catch her breath. ‘The force required and the _pain_ Miss Cabot would’ve had to have endured to cause such scarring is unimaginable.’ A whimper escapes my lips before I can stop it. My heart hits the floor, my mouth goes dry, my vision blurs and my lungs seize as I listen to the most painful sentence ever uttered. _Alex_ _._ Several people turn to stare at me as I attempt to regain control of my weeping soul.  

‘Thank you doctor. Your witness,’ Alex says smoothly, knowing both Buchannan and Kressler will no doubt use their airtime. _How is she still standing_ _let alone still participating_ _?_  

Kressler stands first, seemingly in a rush to destroy my life's witness. ‘Dr Hermann, when you say you sedated Miss Cabot due to her injuries, were there any other reasons why you did this?’ _How the fu_ _ck_ _..?_ my mind screams as I watch Alex tense so subtly only I would notice.  

The witness glances at my life before returning her attention to the defence attorney, beads of sweat lining her forehead. ‘One of the responders reported being punched in the face by Miss Cabot whilst they were taxi-ing to Bellvue.’ I observe my Omega stay stock still as the courtroom gasps. The smug look on Kressler’s face irks my clenched fists. I turn to Fin. He mouths at me. I breathe.  

As soon as Kressler begins walking back to his desk, Alex asks for redirect again. Liz acquiesces. 

‘Did he press charges?’ Alex glides back to the witness stand. 

‘No,’ the doctor states earnestly.  

‘And why was that?’ Alex questions astutely. 

‘We found his saliva on your face,’ Dr Hermann answers, relief clear on her face.  

‘And why would there be saliva on my face?’ 

‘Objection! Why are we hearing about a separate alleged assault?’ Defence Creep asks, looking bored. 

‘Your team opened this door,’ my life counters sternly. 

‘Overruled,’ Liz states bluntly, her eyes admiring my Omega for a milli-second. _Don't_ _!_  

‘Because he licked or wet kissed the entire right side of your face.’  

‘Thank you, doctor,’ Alex nods her head in thought as she returns to her seat. 

Buchannan predictably stands. ‘Why did you take swabs from Miss Cabot’s face, Dr Hermann? That’s not normal procedure during a rape kit,’ he states arrogantly, showing off the extent of his sexual assault exam knowledge. 

‘Miss Cabot was covered in numerous fluids: semen, saliva, blood and urine.’ I swallow thickly to prevent my nausea escaping. ‘To ensure we completed as thorough an exam as possible, we took swabs from every inch of her body,’ the doctor replies matter-of-factly. 

‘So if Miss Cabot was indeed covered, how could you be certain the responder didn’t just accidentally sneeze and spread the remnants whilst administering care to his patient?’ Buchannan questions semi-intelligently.  

‘Because there would have been mucous too. There wasn’t,’ the doctor expertly shuts down the defence team again. ‘Any more questions?’ she boldly asks, staring Buchannan down. 

‘Miss Cabot, control your client,’ Liz states with feigned authority.  

‘Your Honour,’ Alex answers respectfully. 

‘Nothing more,’ Buchannan mutters as he limps back to his bench. 

‘Miss Cabot?’ Liz offers as she looks at my life for possibly the third time this entire session. 

‘One more question. Dr Hermann, other than the responders saliva, who’s bodily fluids were found on and in my body?’ Alex asks the harrowing question in a disturbingly cool tone. 

‘I found all three defendants: Bob Ashton’s, Joel Ashton’s and Ray Daniels’, bodily fluids on your body and inside your mouth, vagina and anus.’ _Jesus, Alex._ Even though I know every single detail of my life's medical, my stomach lurches hearing the words spoken out loud. _I love you,_ I mantra as my life partner glances at me briefly before she remembers all eyes are currently on her.

She steps behind her desk and faces her witness. ‘Thank you, Dr Hermann,’ Alex says a final time before she lowers herself into her chair and scribbles briefly on the notepad in front of her. _More to keep herself distracted,_ I know with certainty.

‘Dr Hermann, thank you for your service. You may now leave the courtroom,' Liz says before she glances at the defence bench. 'My chambers. Now.'


	50. Third Witness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A familiar face fights Alex's corner.
> 
> Rating: Mature Content
> 
> Happy Thanksgiving to any American readers!

My pulse continues to roar in my ears as I watch Alex re-enter the courtroom with Fin and the defence team in tow. The creeps look suitably admonished as my life retakes her seat.

Liz enters from the judges quarters and surveys her audience. ‘I wish to state in no uncertain terms that _one_ more step out of line by anybody will lead to an _immediate_ report to the board as well as contempt charges and/or barring from my courtroom. _Control_ your clients and _respect_ the subject matter of this case!’ Liz orders as she glares at the defence bench before she gazes at my Omega. No softness surfaces. Respect for the woman multiples.

‘Your next witness, Miss Cabot,’ Donnelly prompts.

My life looks up and nods. ‘The People wish to call Dr George Huang.’

 

Several minutes later

‘Please state your name, profession and experience for the record.’

‘My name is Dr George Huang and I've been a psychiatrist for 14 years,’ Huang states calmly as he eyes me. _It's a relief to see him_.

‘You have seen my medical notes?’

‘Yes.’

‘And you’ve assessed my mental stability?’

‘Yes.’

‘What were your findings?’

‘I surmised you were of sound mind and in full control of you faculties.’

‘And why did I require this assessment?’

‘One: because you were viciously gang raped...’ No objection comes. ‘Two: what we are about to reveal is the government's worst kept secret,’ Huang answers ominously. The courtroom turns deathly silent as every focused orb strains for a better view of this intriguing man and the enigma that is Alexandra Cabot.

‘What secret?’ she asks as she watches the jurors faces.

‘That we are part of an unfair hierarchy. Everyone knows the financial divide; the rich and the poor. But very few know the other painful truth,’ Huang stops to swallow, knowing his next words can never be taken back.

‘We are led and bred to believe we are all equal, or at least to strive for it, like it’s an achievable goal. The stark truth is we are all part of a sexual hierarchy much like the rest of the animal kingdom. Akin to it in fact, because we are all animals,’ Huang pauses to sneeze. ‘Excuse me. Using the most universally recognised hierarchy of wolves, our system follows a similar grading. For example, Alphas are strongest and Omegas are weakest. Meaning, Alphas are physically stronger and highly dominant over Omegas.’ I clear my throat self-consciously. I purposely avoid my life’s gaze as several others turn to eye me. _Shit!_ ‘Most people are Betas, going about their lives, largely unaffected by the heinous truth happening right under their noses,’ Huang continues, seamlessly taking everyone’s attention. _Thank you George._

‘I’m a Beta. You, Miss Cabot are an Omega. And not just any Omega, a pure blood. This means you are the most intoxicating mate for those higher up the hierarchy than yourself, which is everyone else,’ Huang states as the room murmurs.

‘By intoxicating, let me be clear; I’m talking sexually. As is known world wide, heterosexual women and homosexual men won't be sexually attracted to women, even a female pure blood Omega. But everyone else is. When an Omega, specifically a female pure blood, comes into contact with a mixed blood Omega, or higher, heterosexual, bisexual or pansexual male or non cis female, they are in serious danger of being raped,’ Huang states hauntingly as he glances toward Alex. ‘Mixed bloods aren't pure so they won’t be quite as intoxicating to those higher up the hierarchy, if a pure blood is available,’ he clarifies quickly.

‘A pure Omega is incredibly rare. Miss Cabot is the first I’ve met. A pure blood Omega's entire biology is engineered to attract mates, from their voice to their scent.’ Mumbling sounds come from the jurors bench. ‘ _Yes_ , we all have a scent; a very individual smell or odour,’ Huang confirms, eyeing them.

‘I have a very simple demonstration to aide this lengthy explanation,’ Huang states as he turns to Liz. ‘I’ve been informed that you, Your Honour, and the defence team have approved this,’ he clarifies, gaining an affirm from Donnelly. ‘Please could each jury member, who wished to participate, remove the wrapped item marked 1 from under their seats,’ Huang requests politely. Seven jurors quickly search and find a wrapped t-shirt labelled 1. ‘Please also see five status cards laid out in front of each of you. They should read: Pure Blood Omega, Omega, Beta, Alpha, Super Alpha. One of you won’t have a Pure Blood Omega card. Don’t worry, this isn’t a mistake.’ The jury nod their acquiescence. ‘There should also be five numbered envelopes underneath them and a sixth blank envelope?’ Huang queries as the head juror clears his throat. ‘Okay, the blank envelope is for ‘I don’t know’. Understood?’ Affirmative murmurings sound. ‘Please undo the top of each plastic wrapping in numerical order, there will either be four or five, and sniff the garment without removing it.’ Each participant does as asked as Alex, Huang, Liz, Fin, the two press officers, the remaining jurors and the defence team look on in muted curiosity. ‘Once you have sniffed all of them, please place the status card in the numbered envelope you think best corresponds to each scented t-shirt. There are no tricks. Please take your time,’ Huang states reassuringly as the jurors begin sniffing each scented t-shirt.

‘Whilst the jury are doing that, I’ll make it clear that all five t-shirts have been worn for the exact same duration by the identified hierarchical states. If anyone wishes to check this, please contact the Liberty Medical Corporation who funded this study.’ _So that's what you've been up to_.

Within minutes, the head juror stands. ‘We're done.’ Huang looks to Alex.

‘Continue doctor.'

‘Please give your envelopes to the extremely vetted court steward to your right and then I'll ask him to lay them across the table provided.’ (A table has been placed in the middle of the walk way in front of the benches). The steward does as asked. ‘Please can you shuffle them before picking one up at random and reading the typed letter, or letters, in the top left hand corner.’

‘Het,’ the court steward states evenly.

‘Thank you. We have typed an acronym of each jurors sexuality on the envelopes because that will impact the results. I will leave you to figure out what those letters stand for,’ Huang explains wryly as the steward begins opening the first envelope.

‘Envelope 1 for ‘Het’: Super Alpha.’

‘So this participant identifies the scent coming from t-shirt Number 1 as overwhelmingly dominant. Please continue,’ he prompts the steward who eventually opens all the envelopes until there are six distinct piles. _Why six? Surely they’d be five?_

‘Sir, please pick up pile Number 1 and read out the status on each card.’

‘Number 1 are all Super Alpha?’ the steward looks slightly confused.

‘So each person’s identified t-shirt Number 1 as the most powerful and dominant scent. Number 2?’

‘All Beta...’

Eventually, all hierarchies have been identified:  
Number 3: Alpha.  
Number 4: Omega.  
Number 5: Pure Blood Omega.

‘But we have one last pile. Please can you look at the letter typed on each card in this pile,’ Huang directs the steward.

‘They all say A.’

‘For asexual. This participant is unable to differentiate each scent because they do not identify as a sexual being. As a result, this person is the control,’ Huang states technically. ‘I ensured each t-shirt wearer corresponded to the participating jurors sexual orientation (which will remain anonymous),’ Huang explains as the deathly quiet courtroom listens attentively.

‘So what this has shown is, no matter how little you’re consciously aware of our sexual hierarchy, your biology is genetically wired to respond to it,’ Huang finishes as the room remains silent. I observe a smug arrogance cross Granger’s features. I clench my fists to stop myself grabbing my piece and killing him.

‘Thank you for this demonstration Dr Huang. May I ask why one member of the jury only had four cards, not five?’ Alex asks astutely.

‘Because we haven’t found a male pure blood Omega to date,’ he answers briefly. _One of the male participants has to be gay_ , I fathom quickly, making sense of the difference. ‘Oh and can I make one final point?’ Huang asks Alex as the jury lean forward. My life nods her head. ‘Some jurors were able to leave each t-shirt in its plastic wrapping. Due to the pure blood Omega _\- (Alex's) -_ scent being so intoxicatingly strong, the majority of people can’t not touch it once they’ve sniffed it.’ All eyes turn to the jury, finding four of the seven participants with their noses pressed against the fabric of Number 5. ‘I purposely left this status until last for this very reason.’ _The asexual and homosexual jurors and a further juror with a conscience._ _Fuck! One out of five who had the choice!_ Huang explains my thoughts in more scientific language without completely outing his willing subjects.

‘Objection! We weren’t made aware of this aspect of the demonstration,’ Buchannan interrupts Huang; the defence team suddenly getting prickly now the study no longer supports their corner.

‘Dr Huang could not have predicted the participants would show such behaviour until it happened,’ Alex counters as everyone looks at Liz.

‘I’m calling _bullshit!’_ Buchannan spits out aggressively as I finger my weapon. _Breathe Olivia._

‘And I’m calling your boss to have you reported to the board,’ Donnelly retorts as Buchannan raises his hands in defeat.

‘I’m sorry, Your Honour,’ he tries to back peddle.

‘Too late. _Sit down_ John!’ Liz seethes before she turns to Huang. ‘Please continue doctor.’ _I’ve never liked Liz more._

‘All seven participants signed consent forms prior to taking part in this study. I thank you for your participation,’ Huang says with grace.

‘So just to clarify, _not_ touching suggests conscience whilst hanging on suggests potential risk?’ Alex asks as she eyes the entire jury, truly knowing who she needs to be wary of for the first time. _Tri-purpose, clever_.

‘Yes. Biological instinct is difficult to override,’ Huang states ominously as I observe four of the jurors fidgeting. _Yes, you twitch, you fuckers!_

I feel more than see Liz's eyes on me. Her resting bitch face is in full affect but her stare screams: _Calm the fuck down!_

‘But... it is possible for a person to stop or to not touch, _if_ they truly want to,’ Huang clarifies as my ire abates some.

‘So when applying it to this current situation, are you saying the defendants decided not to let go? To not stop?’ my life enquires as she ignores the near invisible, non verbal communication between Liz and I.

‘Yes. Once they _caught_  your scent, they decided not to stop,’ Huang replies as two of the jury continue sniffing their Number 5 t-shirts, even after being outed as persons without conscience.

‘So how come they weren’t still raping me when help arrived?’

‘Only fear of death will stop someone without a conscience. They needed to rehydrate themselves.’

‘So is that why Mr... and Master Ashton left me?’ my Omega already knows this but the jury need to hear it.

‘Yes.’

‘Your witness,’ Alex states confidently, knowing this is a strong argument.

Buchannan strides over to the witness stand. ‘I think you need another psyche exam,’ he mutters antagonistically as he leans into Alex’s shoulder.

‘ _Back off John!’_ Liz screams as she leaps to her feet. I immediately do the same.

Buchannan doesn’t step back. Instead, he leans in further until his nose is millimetres from her neck. Alex swerves to avoid him, running behind her desk in a futile attempt at safety. He moves to follow her. _Mother fu..._ I’m in Buchannan’s face and bending him over the table, in the walkway, before I realise what I’m doing. As I lean into him, Fin joins me, grabbing his cuffs and snapping them around the defence attorney’s wrists. _Thank fuck for my police training..._

‘Court stewards, escort Mr Buchannan to a cell,’ Liz commands, seething as I release him into the supreme courts custody. Everyone watches as Buchannan’s led away, his eyes never leaving Alex, his hunger evident. _He fucking did that on purpose!_

I take in my Omega. I note her shallow breaths and dilated pupils. Even so, Alexandra Cabot looks a picture of outward calm to the untrained eye. _I'm here_. It takes every fibre of my being not to run to her. Instead, I stand stock still, not trusting myself to move in case I do something stupid. My life breaks eye contact before the court attendees lose interest in the retreating form of John Buchannan.

I glance towards the jurors as I make my way back to my seat. Some of them nod at me in respect. _Its okay, we're fine_ , I mantra to myself, in an attempt to quash my anxiety that my life was almost attacked... _again_ ; that someone may have seen the emotions behind my actions. _Its okay..._

Liz takes a deep breath. ‘Master Ashton, it appears you are without an attorney. Would you like a court appointed attorney or are you comfortable to boot strap Mr Granger for now?’ Defence Creep looks less than impressed when the stray sides with him.

‘Miss Cabot, are you okay to continue?’ Donnelly asks the question outright now that the secret is known, _in this room anyway_. Still, Alex blushes at Liz’s directness.

‘Fine, Your Honour,’ my life says clearly as she sits down behind her desk and squares her shoulders. I swallow to stop my awe escaping in a whimper. _I love you. I’m right here._

‘Defence Team, your witness.’

Granger inevitably gets up. We know he’s about to turn venomous, his face twisted in obvious fury at Donnelly’s prior decision. ‘Dr Huang, do you have psyche evaluations?’

‘Every six months,’ Huang answers briefly.

‘When was your last?’ Defence Creep asks, attempting to discredit him.

‘In October,’ Huang doesn’t rise to the bait. _3 months ago_.

‘I find it hard to believe something so important _isn’t_ general knowledge. I think Miss Cabot would benefit from an independent evaluation and you, from a more thorough assessment!’

‘ _Objection!’_ Alex roars as she stands and leans over her desk.

‘Sustained!’ Liz growls as she gives Granger her most withering stare. ‘Would you like to join Buchannan downstairs, Lionel?’ Donnelly questions him harshly.

‘I’m sorry, Your Honour,’ comes his immediate fakery.

‘Don't you _apologise_ to me!’ Liz snarls with barely concealed rage.

‘My apologises Mr Huang, Miss Cabot,’ he mutters.

 ‘Miss Cabot has been assessed by three independent psychiatrists for this very reason,’ Huang calmly defends my life. _Yes George!_ ‘And I’m constantly supervised. If you require my supervisors number, I can give it to you privately after this matter,’ Huang states, completely owning Granger.

Defence Creep clenches his teeth for several moments, his attempts at controlling his anger obvious for the court to see. ‘Quite a small study sample...’ he mutters weakly.

‘Is there a question?’ Alex asks, twisting the knife.

My adrenaline peaks once more as I observe Defence Creep shake with rage. ‘What sample size would be required to make your study viable?’

‘At this point, the only people who need convincing were part of the study, moments ago,’ Huang responds confidently, his intelligence completely obliterating Granger. ‘But if you need numbers; over one thousand people have taken part in this study over the past two weeks.’

Sweat beads on Defence Creeps forehead. ‘You’ve... you’ve gone public?’

‘You need an unanimous verdict,’ comes Kressler’s distracting challenge from the defence bench. ‘And the only thing your study has done is strengthen our argument that Miss C...’

‘What the _hell_ has happened to court etiquette?’ Liz demands as she looks from Granger to Kressler in utter astonishment. ‘Stewards, please give Mr Granger and Mr Kressler the hospitality of a cell for the night.’

‘ _What?!’_ Granger spits out as the stewards approach him. I watch Alex tense as he suddenly turns and eyes her. ‘You _fucking slut!_ Why couldn’t...’ My teeth clench as my fisted hand draws my own blood.

‘I can only apologise for my colleagues outburst,’ Kressler interrupts Granger’s rant once more.

‘Order in my courtroom!’ Donnelly barks as Granger is forcibly detained and removed. Kressler obediently follows.

Liz takes a deep breath before surveying the jury. ‘Such behaviour will not be tolerated. I'm sorry if any offence was caused,’ Donnelly says, looking directly at my life. Alex doesn’t respond. ‘Mr Huang, thank you for your testimony and apologies for the behaviour you have witnessed today. You may step down.’

As Huang leaves, his hands making the slightest breathe motion as he passes me, Donnelly spears the defendants with her gaze. It’s only then I realise we are without our protective steward detai _l. Fuck! Two against three... possibly more_. I unholster my weapon.

‘Mr Ashton, Master Ashton and Mr Daniels, in light of these unusual circumstances, two of your defence team will not be returning to my courtroom.’ I realise what Liz is doing. _She’s playing for time_. I eye Fin who is also readily armed. ‘You have two choices as described to Master Ashton earlier. Mr Kressler or court appointed attorney. Please take tonight to think about your options and feedback to me by 8am tomorrow morning. Due to your right to a speedy trial but also to appropriate representation, this court is adjourned until 9am tomorrow morning.’ _Clever, making it sound like she’s doing them a favour whilst she's desperately trying to save the case_.

As her gavel hits the block, the stewards finally return. _Thank fuck!_

‘And can someone _please_ tear those t-shirts away from the jury members!’ Donnelly growls, eyeing the two still sniffing them with disgust, as she exits the courtroom.


	51. Denial and Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pack have to rethink their strategy.  
> Olivia and Alex reconnect.
> 
> Rating: Explicit Content

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why hello patient readers. I promised I'd upload before the end of the year. Thanks for your support re my need to write reports. So I'll continue to be sporadic unfortunately.
> 
> But with no further ado, enjoy.

I purposely don’t meet my life’s strained eyes as the attendees filter out of the court room. I notice the shake of her weakening limbs as I watch the retreating form of the last stray. _Finally, we’re alone._ I inhale a steadying breath, knowing both Alex and Fin are watching me. I turn to them and nod swiftly. My life obeys the subtly as she strides to his side.   

‘The news has already broke,’ Fin states heatedly as Alex watches his phone screen over his shoulder. Her paling features make my stomach lurch. _Fuck!_   

As my cell begins ringing, I see Liz peer thru the narrow gap in her chambers entrance before re-entering the courtroom.  

‘Have you seen the…?’ 

‘Benson,’ I answer my cell as I take in the distraught faces of my pack. 

‘Olivia, have you…?’ 

‘Yes, George. What the fuck do we do now?’ I respond as I observe Alex decline Liz’s offer of her hand. I wait for her eyes to meet mine to read them. Being around trusted people is weakening her resolve. _I need to get her out of here!_   

‘You need to get to your safe house as quickly and as safely as you can. The mobs you’ve experienced thus far are child’s play to what I just…’ 

‘I know that Doctor,’ I retort fiercely, my patience thinning as I struggle to think of how best to keep my Omega safe. ‘Sorry,’ I say almost as quickly, knowing what he has done for us. ‘ _Fuck!’_  

‘Olivia, your life partner has just done something no one has _ever_ had the courage to do before,’ Huang states with such awe, I can’t help the pride that bursts thru my chest as I gaze at my Omega. She stares back, her eyes conveying a drive that stokes the flames of my soul. ‘This trial was always going to make her a target. She’s just flipped the strongest Alphas, the most demented Betas and Omegas, the bird. They won’t take kindly to a lowly pure blood exposing them.’ I try to get a grip of my breathing as it hits me. _My Omega was always a target, but now she has_ _a_ _bullseye_ _situated right between her_ _cloudy blue orbs. Fuck!_  

I turn to Liz. ‘We need all the protection you have, including the stewards.’ Donnelly nods before she leaves the room. 

Turning my attention back to Huang, ‘Once we’re home, I need you to come over…’ I suddenly stop as my life walks towards me, her head shaking in protest. Alex grabs hold of my shirt collar and kisses me fully. It takes me a moment to re-steady my axis as my Omega stares into my eyes with such radiant heat, I almost drop my cell and take her. _Stop!_ ‘… I... I’ll call you...Huang…’ I wheeze as I try to regain my senses. I end the call and stare at Fin to bring myself back to something other than Alexandra Cabot.   

‘I know this has put you in danger too,’ I empathise, knowing if any of this baying mob touch him...  

‘Liv, don’t worry abou’ me. I’m a big boy. You just keep your eye on Alex, ‘kay?’ he stresses as he looks at me sternly. ‘The longer we mince in here, the worse this'll get,’ Fin adds as six stewards suddenly appear at the courtroom entrance.  

I suddenly get a flashback of hell. I swallow hard as Alex backs off from me, her eyes secretly conveying a love her body can’t _._ _I love you_. 

 _I know. I love you too._  

I give the stewards some quick instructions as I try not to think about the fact they aren’t as experienced as the six officers we had bef... _St_ _op_ _it_ _, Olivia!_  

'The back...' I start to lead the way towards the judge's exit.

'It's as bad round back,' one of the stewards states hoarsely as I stare at him. I can feel the blood draining from my features. _We're surrounded._

'If I'm going to make this move count, I can't be filmed sneaking out the back when the risks threaten me either way,' Alex argues with such fierce determination, every part of me melts. I check myself before anyone notices. Apart from my Omega. _Always my Omega._

Just moments later, the eight of us surround my life as we exit the courtroom. _Fuck!_ The foyer is swarming with press officers, cameramen and hundreds of other unknown entities. We tighten our circle around my Omega, my shoulder innocuously leaning into hers to give her some comfort in this heinous situation. 

Questions and lenses suffocate us as we’re surrounded by a near impenetrable mob of circling sharks. ‘Keep moving,’ I shout to the two stewards at the front. _Please for fucking... Keep moving!_  

We somehow make it out of the courthouse and begin descending the stairs; bodies jostling all around us. My heart chokes me as I feel Alex shaking with unadulterated fear. _It’s killing me_. I link my pinky with hers. _I’m here_. Alex succeeds in not turning and looking directly at me. Instead, she squeezes hers around mine so tightly, I risk losing it. I swallow the pain, gladly. _I’d lose all my fingers, limbs, my life to_ _keep_ _her..._  

A sharp noise abruptly silences the deafening bedlam. Only when I turn to find one of the stewards down and bleeding profusely, do I realise what has just happened. Nausea envelopes me. _Don’t think_ _!_ _Just..._  

I point to three of the stewards. ‘You, you and you, help him.’ I then turn and begin pushing Alex thru the frozen mob; Fin and the remaining stewards following suit.  

We finally get to the car. I shove my life inside, in too much of a rush to rub her bumped head as I run to the drivers side whilst Fin dives into the back. I turn the ignition before Fin’s fully in and step on the gas as he slams the door shut.  

 

54 minutes later 

After taking numerous different routes to ensure no one is following us, I finally drive us up the secluded road to Liz’s cabin.  

I turn the engine off but stay frozen behind the wheel as my mind starts to comprehend what happened. _Someone tried to kill my life!_ Only when I feel Fin's strong hands on my shoulders do I snap out of my reverie.  

I feel light headed, realising I haven’t taken a breath for too long as I turn to my Omega. Her eyes are screaming as her mouth focuses on inhaling enough oxygen to stay conscious. I place my hand over hers as I hear the drivers door open. Alex intertwines her fingers with mine as she turns to stare blankly out the window, her mind overwhelmed with the current events. 

Rage surges thru me. I barge past Fin, who was trying to help me out of the car and run to my life’s side. I wrench the door open, grab her arm as gently as I can and lead her silently to our bedroom. 

As soon as the door slams shut, I take hold of my Omega and kiss her roughly, hungrily, dominantly. My desperate need for her; to calm, to sate her and myself, blinds me to anything other than Alexandra Cabot.  

My crotch is on fire as I push her down onto the bed, our limbs a jostling mass of carnal desire as my teeth bite into her flesh. I don’t care that I’ve marked her, branded her. I suddenly realise I’m _seething_ because my life didn't tell me about today’s plan, today’s consequences. _Fucking hell Alex!!!_ My clit quakes, my entire body shudders as the rage pummels my senses. I'm blinded by it as I tear at my Omega's clothing. As soon as I feel her intoxicating flesh pressed against mine, I’m no longer in control of my faculties. I gyrate my body against hers as my hands and mouth explore every curve, every line, every jut of her neck and collarbone.  

Once I feel the vibrations of a moan escape her lips, I cup her butt and kneed her brutality as I straddle one of her thighs. She lifts her leg up to stroke my starving core as I rut against her.  

My abdomen clenches as the first whispers of orgasm slither up my legs until my clit melts under the heat. I collapse on to my life as I continue to rub myself against her, my need for endless release too strong to deny.  

I raise my head from the crook of her neck to kiss her lips, hard. I enter her mouth and take complete ownership of her entire being as my fingers suddenly trace down to her folds. My life tries to mirror my actions but I pin her wrists with my free hand as I stroke and tickle her clit beyond climax. I continue to rub her sensitive nub post orgasm. I know this can hurt but I’m too angry, so incredibly angry.  

I keep her pinned as I finally stop my ministrations. I look into her iridescent orbs for a millisecond to find scorching need surging from her depths. _I do care. I care so much_. 

 _I know._ _.._ _Take me_ _, my Alpha._  

I release one of her wrists and lower her hand to my apex. ‘Stroke me,’ I command. My Omega immediately obeys  

My body focuses entirely on the power of my life’s finger tips. As soon as her digits begin fondling my core, my frame shudders and trembles as soul shattering pleasure courses thru the length of me. I bite my lip as I watch her beautiful face glow with acceptance, pride and relief that I'm stepping up to my dominant role as my Omega's Alpha.  

I come undone again as my life tries to nibble my neck. I pin her down using my mouth to dominate hers as her fingers continue to bring me to mountainous crescendos of mind blowing pleasure.  

I tear my mouth away to gasp for breath. My life continues to stroke me as I look into hers eyes, us both knowing who _really_ has the upper hand.  

‘Tef-lon,’ I whimper, changing positions to regain my dominant stance. I re-pin both wrists above her head. ‘Keep them there,’ I order as I release her. My Omega obeys. 

I start working my lips down her neck column, delicately, softly, knowing this will torture her entire being. I feel her body strain against mine as I lower my lips between her breasts, my finger nails lightly dancing across her exposed sides, having remembered her ticklishness from a previous encounter.  

‘ _God!_ Li...’  

‘ _Shush_ _!_ _’_ I growl as I maintain a steady pace against her ribs, spidering my nails up and down, as my lips envelop her nipple. I suck and tease her as I take utter control of her body. I listen out for signs of her form nearing climax. I feel her moan as her abdomen tenses and her legs begin to shake. I stop, withdrawing my touch entirely, watching her chest undulate as she tries to inhale enough breaths to survive my onslaught.  

Her eyes gaze into mine, her pupils completely dilated, as she reaches for me. 

‘Don't,’ I utter, straining for my own breaths whilst observing the enthralling sight that is my life partner trying to regain control of herself. My Omega instantly lays her pleading hands back down. 

Before she has entirely recovered, I lick my way down her abdomen, stopping to tease her belly button briefly until my life’s hands are raking thru my hair in silent desperation. _Please!_  

I lower my mouth to just above her core. I lick, suck and nibble her flesh knowing I’m driving her crazy.  

‘ _Please!’_ she begs wantonly, arching her back to try to force my mouth onto her. Its the hottest thing I’ve ever witnessed. I trace my fingers to my own engorged clit and stroke myself, the burning sensations rioting thru my synapses boiling over into eruption after eruption of cataclysmic pleasure.  

 _No_. I refuse her, her only wish. I start journeying back up her body, causing my life to overtly whimper in wretched need, made worse by her observing my own orgasm. 

I smile when I feel my Omega try futilely to push my head back down her body. I surprise her when my fingers suddenly begin rubbing her inner thighs. I can’t help but laugh as my life bucks and jostles underneath me in her drive for release. I gaze into her pleading eyes as I tease her to distraction, never quite stroking her insanely aroused nub.  

My life eventually loses her restraint as she lowers her own fingers in hopes of finally gaining release. I regain control of her wrists and re-pin them before she takes herself over the edge.  

‘The more you misbehave, the longer I will draw this out,’ I state plainly, my voice no more than a growl as my fingers continue to dance against her inner thighs. A whimpered groan escapes my Omega’s lips as she thrashes her flaxen locks against the pillows in frustration.  

I lower my mouth to her neck column once more as I softly nip her flesh, my fingers continuing to torture her to within an inch of her sanity. My life’s only outlet: her mouth from which moans, gasps whimpers and wanton shrieks of frustration sound repeatedly as I refuse to relent.  

I release her wrists, with the silent understanding that she keep them in place, as my free hand fondles her breast. I feel my life arch repeatedly in silent protest as my index finger finally rests against her nub. My Omega freezes in hopeful desperation. One flick, one stroke, will knock her over this exquisitely high ledge. I watch as her fists clench and unclench as she tries to remain submissive to my orders whilst her body rages with molten heat. Her whimpers stoke my burning core as we wait for my judgement to be served. 

We remain frozen, my face hovering above hers as she silently begs, _pleads_ for a release that will utterly tear her apart. I move slightly to straddle her thigh once more, my clit making contact with her intoxicating flesh as my fingers finally begin stroking her; exquisitely slowly so as not to rush her thru the orgasm of her life. I watch in muted awe as the soul destroying pleasure washes across her beautiful features. I forget my own release as I coax my Omega until her entire body is trembling under the weight of an orgasm denied for an eternity. Her mouth hangs slightly open, her eyes lidded, her face flushed as she tries to breathe thru each new crescendo. I lower my lips to kiss her, to extend her euphoria as I rut against her thigh, bringing my own release within seconds. 

 

20 minutes later 

My life nuzzles into my neck as our bodies finally cool down. I thread my fingers thru her flaxen mane as my mind floods with renewed concerns. I lift my silenced cell to see numerous missed calls and messages. I sift thru them until I notice one from Fin that simply reads: _he’s okay_. I breathe a sigh of relief as I show Alex. My life nestles closer into me as she releases a shaky breath. I hold her, in silence, for another hour. 

 

‘I was so angry you didn’t tell me you were serving yourself up on a plate,’ I say cautiously, trying to halt my anger projecting onto the wrong person, my Omega. 

‘I know. I’m sorry. You wouldn’t have let me if you’d known,’ my life whispers into my jaw. ‘Plus, I’m already on a platter,’ Alex attempts gallows humour. I don’t find it funny.  

‘Lex. How the _hell_ are we going to continue with the trial now?’ 

My life leans on her elbow to look at me. ‘When the steward was shot, I honestly thought of running. Running to the nearest...’ 

‘Bridge,’ I finish for her. She nods her head fleetingly. 

‘I don’t even know his name!’ she utters, in open disgust at herself. ‘How many more people will I injury or potentially kill in my fight to win this trial?’ my life questions as tears begin to flow down her contoured cheeks. 

‘ _Hey_. It’s not just about this trial now. It’s about every Omega and pure blood whose ever been abused, tortured, killed. There will have been thousands, possibly millions over the history of mankind. The only person who has been hurt in this trial who isn’t in a job where it’s expected is _you!_ Every cop and steward knows they wake up for a shift with the possibility they won’t return...’ 

‘I’m not more important than them, than you, Liv,’ my Omega interrupts dejectedly as she wipes her tear stained face.  

I lean on an elbow to more easily face her. ‘You are to me...’ Alex opens her mouth to interrupt but I speak first. ‘...and to every Omega and pure blood who is holed up somewhere being exploited and abused at this _very_ moment,’ I stress as I cup her face. ‘Did you pull the trigger today? Did you cause the upper hierarchies to abuse you and so many others?’ My Omega sniffs as she shakes her head. ‘You are doing something that will change history.’ I kiss her lightly. ‘You’ve started this mission. Please allow Huang, Fin, Liz and I to support you thru it.’ 

‘I thought you were going to beat me for this,’ she says, not entirely in jest. 

‘If there’s one thing I’ve learnt about Alexandra Cabot, it’s that she’s the most determined, courageous, driven and _pig-headed_ person I’ve _ever_ known. And no one, not even me, can change your chosen path,’ I finish as I brush a tear from her cheekbone. 

‘That’s not strictly true,’ my Omega whispers quietly. ‘You have diverted my chosen path more than once,’ she confesses as a sob catches in my throat. I draw her to me and kiss the remaining tears from her face before I cuddle her in a haunting yet protective embrace. 

'I don't know how you got thru today. You are my heroin,' I whisper into her hair.

'You got me thru today and every day since I met you,' my life murmurs into my neck.

_God! I love you so much._


	52. Strategy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pack talk strategy.  
> Can they execute it?
> 
> Rating: Mature Content

6:47am \- After several hours of discussion with Liz, Huang and Captain Cragen on speaker...   

 _Liz_ _scheduled_ _the trial_ _to_ _continue at 9am_ _,_ _to rush the defence_ _; u_ _sing the_ _defendants_ _right to a speedy trial_ _for the ruling_ _._ _But now this_ _restrictive_ _deadline_ _leaves_ _any_ _safety_ _plans worryingly open to disarray_ _._ ‘Surely we should put the trial back a day, just to make sure w...’ 

‘What message does that send to every Omega out there, if I hide for 24 hours?’ Alex counters, her eyes boring into mine. _I’m aware we are_ _polar opposites_ _on_ _this._   

I meet her stare, not backing down. ‘It says you’re not foolhardy,’ I answer practically, biting my lip. 

‘It says I’m scared, that I’m terrified,’ my life argues, her frame straightening, in her chair, as she broadens her shoulders. 

‘You are,’ I retort, my stomach lurching as Alex's entire body trembles. 

‘Yes,’ she admits. ‘But I can’t let my kind down, _especially_ now. I don’t have an easier choice.’ Her words break my heart.  

‘Alex,’ Huang's voice comes thru the speaker. ‘You can better serve them alive...’  

‘Dr Huang, everybody,’ Liz's commanding tone interjects. ‘I don’t think you’ll be able to swing a Cabot.’ 

I watch Alex glance at Fin furtively as the conversation continues thru the speaker. He nods before they both look at me. I understand without needing to ask. _Shit!_  

‘Enough,’ I state clearly, halting the discussion. ‘I believe Fin has something to say.’ He nods towards me in thanks as Alex's eyes burn with arousal at my dominance. I tear my gaze away before I become lost in her. _Jesus._  

Fin clears his throat and glances at Alex for reassurance before he speaks. ‘There’s only two people who’ve got a right to make a decision on this. Tef-Alex, _(God, no Fin!)_ because she’s _allowed_ to be in control of her own choices. And me, being Omega, for the same reason.’ No one gasps though I feel the shock radiate thru the speaker phone. ‘All you Betas and Alphas think you’re doin’ what’s best for us. Well _fuck_ that! Only we know what’s _best_ for us. Don’t take our right to decide. It’s the only thin' we have.’ My soul weeps for my friend. ‘Alex and me want to do this. You will hear that or I’m gonna start losing it,’ Fin finishes as Alex places her hand over his. I mirror her action with his other hand. I mouth: ‘I’m sorry’. Fin squeezes my fingers. My life clutches my free hand. 

Silence reigns for several minutes until I realise everybody's waiting for me. Even though Liz is higher up the hierarchy, I realise this is my pack. _My pack._ ‘I think Fin's words speak for themselves. If we don’t listen to our own, how will Omega’s ever be heard?’ Both Alex and Fin gaze at me as their hands speak for them. _I love you both._  

‘Well, they’re listening now,’ Cragen growls, thinking of the sniper.  

‘So, we are all in agreement?’ Alex clarifies as her fingers stroke between mine. 

Everyone answers affirmatively. 

‘Thank you everybody. See you at 8:45 tomorrow morning,’ I confirm before ending the call. 

I take in my brave Omega’s. I squeeze their hands a final time as Alex’s cell rings.  

She tears her fingers away. ‘Cabot.’ As soon as my life scrapes her chair back to stand and pace, I know. ‘Yes, Trevor, I’m fine. What do you want?’ _Trevor fucking_ _Langan_ _._   

After several minutes of choice words, straight refusals and progressively more heated interactions, my life ends the call abruptly before throwing her cell across the kitchen, onto the couch. _Always thinking ahead, even when_ _she's_ _seething_ _,_ I silently appraise her. 

I stand to console her but she puts her hand up to stop me. Fin and I can only watch as Alex finally calms herself enough to sit down.  

‘Trevor Langan’s not only the Ashton’s new attorney, he rang to offer a _deal!_ ’ my Omega states incredulously, slamming her palm against the table. ‘He tried to spin it that he was doing me a favour: accept his offer and get out of this alive. That’s basically what he’s saying!’ Alex barks as she leaves her chair once more and runs her fingers thru her hair. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever had such a covertly malicious death threat in my life!’ she continues as I step towards her. 

‘Lex,’ my Omega turns to me. ‘What was his offer?’ I ask, wanting to know just how insulting it was, but also to distract Alex from the subject of her life ending. _I can’t..._  

Alex stops pacing and gazes at me, raging disbelief swimming in her eyes. ‘He offered five years in total, on all counts, for Ashton Senior and three for Ashton Junior!’ my life spits out as Fin puts his head in his hands. 

I approach her cautiously but the next moment Alex wraps herself around me. I clutch her to my chest as her body trembles with adrenaline. _I love you. I will never let go_ , I mantra as I run my fingers delicately up and down her spine.  

‘ _Jesus_ , Liv!’ she whispers as her tears run down my neck. I draw her in tighter still.  

I suddenly feel arms around me, around us. _Fin._ We extricate an arm to envelope him in our embrace.  

Together, we stand in our huddle, until the last tear has fallen.  

 

8:12 

‘Yes, we'll be in the black Tesla. See you at 8:40,’ I hang up the phone as I watch my life stalk into the room, looking determined. ‘That was the riot department. They will meet us and shield us from exit to entry,’ I state to reassure her as I re-velcro her bullet proof vest. ‘There,’ I finish as Alex turns to me.  

‘Funny how we weren’t taken seriously during my ‘heat’ or the trial; until the Mayor’s grandson got shot!’ my life mutters caustically, having realised the truth behind the upper echelons suddenly providing aide, via Liz. She clenches her jaw in indignant frustration at the inequality. 

 _It was_ _acceptable_ _for_ _six_ _officers to_ _be_ _savagely_ _beaten and a detective and_ _officer_ _of the court_ _to_ _be brutalized..._

‘Liv,’ I meet her iridescent eyes as she runs her fingers thru my hair. ‘You don’t hate me for this?’ she whispers, her fingers now cupping my jaw line.  

‘No. How could I?’ I ask, dumbfounded. ‘I just hate everyone who has put you in this position, including me,’ I confess as I watch the turbulent sea in her cloudy blue orbs rage on.  

My life tightens her hold on my jaw. ‘ _Please_ don’t. We've been thru this. You have only ever saved me, loved me, taken care of me,’ Alex stresses as her mouth finds mine briefly. ‘Don't _ever_ put yourself in the same league as them. You are _my_ heroin, now and always.’  

I return her kiss as Fin enters the room. ‘How you doing Fin?’ I ask, stepping away from my Omega to clear my head and prevent Fin from feeling awkward.  

He shrugs his shoulders. ‘Just _dope_ _!_ ’ he delivers deadpan before chuckling slightly, utterly beyond the point of fine. Alex and I smile humourlessly. My life moves to take his hand. He evades it and swallows to control his emotions. My Omega immediately understands and backs away. 

We leave our sanctuary.

 

8:38 

The mob has multiplied since yesterday's incident. _Why show up when they might be shot or crushed in the melee?_ I think harshly as upwards of twenty riot personnel surround our vehicle. We leave the Tesla simultaneously, to give the sniper numerous potential targets.  

The riot police envelop us in their ranks as we move steadily up the stairs. Alex squeezes my fingers, her free hand clutching the lower back of my coat, her breath brushing against my ear as Fin and I sandwich her for added protection. _19 steps to go._  

My heart hammers and my lungs almost burst out of my chest as adrenaline courses the length of my body. _11 steps_ _.._ _._  

I swallow hard to stop my nausea from revealing itself. My hand has now lost its circulation due to my life’s unrelenting grip. _Fuck! 4 steps..._  

I note the pitch change in Alex’s breathing as we reach the columns of the Supreme Courthouse. _The door._ _.._  

The riot team push us thru the swivelling door to the empty foyer before they form a protective shield between the internal and external boundaries of the entrance. 

Due to the shooting, Liz has shut down the court foyer between 8 and 8:45am to ensure Alex can safely work the case.

Further shielded guards escort us to the Supreme Courtroom just in case, before forming a similar barrier to their outdoor counterparts. 

Once inside the empty courtroom, Alex, Fin and I breathe the slightest sigh of relief before we remember the battle that is yet to come inside the court of law, itself. 


	53. Fourth Witness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex examines one of her rapists.
> 
> Rating: Very Mature Content

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm uploading this early as a huge THANK YOU to all my readers/supporters for staying with this and taking my kudos over 300 (!!!) and my comments over 500 (!!!). Overawed! Thank you. Here's to hopefully continued enjoyment for you and further kudos/feedback for me (fingers crossed) :)

‘The people wish to call Master Joel Ashton to the stand,’ Alex states crisply as the near empty courtroom gasps in surprise. I can almost hear the monologues running thru the attendee's minds:  

 _A_ _rape victim can’t_ _call_ _her_ _rapist as_ _her_ _own witness!_  

 _Brave woman!_  

 _Stupid, arrogant bitch!_  

 _What the fuck is she thinking?_  

I watch my life straighten her shoulders as the youngest stray steps into the witness box and is sworn in. He looks confident but young. _Easy meat,_ I surmise as Alex approaches him.  

I can feel the tension in the room as everyone waits for the duel between predator and prey to begin.  

‘Master Ashton, how old are you?’ Alex questions coldly as every neck bends towards the defendant. 

I notice him swallow before he answers. _Good_. ‘I’m 16 years old, ma'am.’ _Jesus!_  

‘Can the court instruct the witness not to address me in any fashion,’ my life requests as she, and everyone else, turns to Liz.  

‘Master Ashton, please refrain from addressing Miss Cabot. Answer her questions honestly and succinctly. That is all,’ Donnelly orders as the stray nods his head. ‘Please answer for the record!’ Liz barks, sounding more forthright than even she intended. 

‘Yes, Your Honour,’ the stray concedes immediately. _He’s probably soiled his pant..._  

‘Miss Cabot?’ Liz prompts. 

‘Before December 17th and 18th, did you ever wish to, try to or succeed in contacting or communicating with me?’ 

I watch the stray frown slightly at the off beat question. ‘No,’ he voices, still confident. _Tread carefully little bird..._  

‘So you had not seen, heard of or met me before this date?’ Alex clarifies. 

The stray has the gaol to smile. _Fucking_ _..._ ‘No.’ 

‘What were your intentions that night?’ my Omega crosses her arms protectively over her abdomen as she draws out the young, sick and impressionable mind.  

He looks uncomfortable for the first time. ‘We went for a walk round Central Park...’ 

‘We?’ 

‘My father and I...’ 

‘At around what time?’  

‘Objection!’ comes Langan’s inevitable tones. ‘Can the prosecution kindly allow my client to answer without interruption?’ 

Donnelly looks at Alex directly for possibly the first time in court. ‘Miss Cabot, allow Mr Langan's client the right to fully answer your questions.’ _I don’t understand how this hinders my_ _Omega_ _'s case_.  

‘At what time?’ Alex repeats, turning back to her witness. 

‘Didn't look at my watch,’ the stray retorts, thinking his attorney will save him. 

‘Other than walking, did you have any other plans?’ she enquires, knowing this young monster will eventually hang himself. 

‘Nope, just out for a walk.’ 

‘In December? At night? It was freezing,’ Alex subtle queries deepen. _My life would know_ _;_ _having been_ _tied_ _dow_ _n,_ _naked_ _,_ _in temperatures approaching zero for_ _hours_ _!_ I dig my nails into my palms to control the urge to reach for my gun. 

‘We like to walk,’ the stray answers evasively as I silently correct him: _no, you like to hunt!_  

‘Were you carrying anything with you? A flask? A...’ 

‘Objection, Your Honour! This line of questioning has no bearing on the case!’ Langan tries again. 

‘Some latitude, Your Honour?’ my life requests in a tone only Alexandra Cabot can pull off: a self assured timbre in an otherwise quaking core. 

‘I will allow it Miss Cabot. But my patience is thinning,’ Liz grants, feigning annoyance. 

‘Please answer the question,’ Alex voices in a way that conveys anything but choice.  

‘We had a thermos and that’s about it,’ he replies, non committal. 

‘About it? You had nothing else with you that night?’ my Omega clarifies. 

‘No.’ 

‘The New York Police department took stills from the working security cameras in and around Central Park. Exhibits 45 to 57,’ Alex states as she takes a remote control from her pocket and turns the television on, on the opposite side of the room. ‘Master Ashton, please can you read the time and date stamp on this photo.’ 

‘December 17th 20--, 9.32pm.’ 

‘Who is that with you?’ Alex asks, as much to irritate him as to gain an actual answer. 

‘My father, like I said,’ the stray replies, showing his frustration. _Arrogant prick!_  

‘Did you stay together the whole night?’ 

‘ _Yes!_ ’ he answers, evidently pissed off and completely unaware of what he has just done. 

‘And what is in your left hand?’ she queries innocently as she zooms in on what he is holding. 

The stray suddenly looks panicked. I try not to smile. I fail. '... some... er... rope I must have found...’ 

‘Found?’ 

‘Yeah!’ his voice suddenly heightens in pitch as he realises he won’t be able to control Alexandra Cabot; _not_ _this time._  

‘And what’s in your other hand?’ my life asks as she zooms in on a second photo. 

‘Some... some... _I don’t know..!’_ the stray wails as Trevor stands again. 

‘Miss Cabot is badgering her witness; my _client!_ ’ he near yells to be heard over the strays bleats.  

‘Order in my courtroom!’ Liz bellows over them all, frightening the stray into stunned silence. ‘Your client must desist this behaviour or I will bar him from the courtroom, meaning only one thing: no more father/son time. Are we _clear!?_ ’ Donnelly snarls caustically towards Langan as the room trembles under her dominance.  

‘Yes, Your Honour,’ the stray utters as he raises his eyes to the room, a lost expression on his face.

‘What is in your right hand?’ Alex persists. 

‘Stakes,’ the stray admits, his arrogance of moments before in tatters. 

‘And what were you intending to use them for?’ Alex queries so naturally, as though she’s ordering takeout; completely blindsiding the stray. _He thought he could intimidate_ _my Omega_ _on_ _the stand_ , I acknowledge, trying not to break into a shit eating grin of sweet tasting, vengeful glee.   

‘Nothing,’ he whispers quietly. 

‘What was that?’ my life stabs the knife even deeper. 

‘I said: _Nothing!_ _’_ the stray barks in Alex’s direction as he stands. I don’t know how she doesn’t jolt back at his sudden movement. I notice the stewards step toward them but Alex subtly raises her hand. _I’ve got this._ She stays exactly where she is, less than six feet from her rapist. _My heroin_ _,_ my mind roars as I suddenly realise I’m stood up and my body is leaning in their direction. I glance toward Liz briefly as I work against every screaming muscle in my body, to sit back down. _Breathe_. 

‘So if you were literally going for a walk, with rope and stakes innocently held in your hands, why was your semen found on my body? Why was your semen inside me?’ My soul dies as Alex speaks the words no person should _ever_ have to utter. 

Silence. 

‘Your Honour, please direct  _my_ witness to answer the question,’ Alex goads him still further.  

‘Master Ashton, answer the question,’ Liz orders, as the court stops breathing, every heart beating furiously, waiting. 

The stray looks to the defence bench. To his father. To his new defence attorney. No aide comes. I watch as sweat begins to bead on his forehead as he buckles under the pressure. _Say it! You worthless little shit!_  

‘..Because of your s... scent,’ he stammers as every fibre of my being screams to tear him apart. 

Even Alex is surprised by this fuckers quick thinking. She licks her lips before calmly approaching Ashton Junior. _Don’t Alex!_ My life doesn’t stop until she's within a foot of him, directly in front of the witness box. 

‘So my scent made you leave home with rope and stakes? My scent made you and your father go for a _walk_ in Central Park? My scent made you tie me down and repeatedly rape me until you nearly collapsed?’  

‘Y...es...’ the stray stutters as Alex looms in front of him. 

‘Then why aren’t you raping me right now?’ The witness looks to his father, his attorney for help once more. They stare blankly at him. ‘Is it because you have an audience? Because you're in the Supreme Court? Or is it because you know the stewards might kill you if you try?’ Alex goads him to distraction as I watch his struggle to stop himself grabbing her. My heart is in my mouth as I handle my unholstered weapon.  

‘ _Please!_ ’ he shrieks as my life finally backs away from him.  

‘One final question, did your attorney offer me a deal this morning?’ my Omega changes tack entirely as I try to breathe. 

‘Y... yes,’ the stray answers honestly, a quivering wreck.  

‘Would you not think a defence attorney offering an insulting deal for his own clients, is a clear sign of guilt?’ Alex argues so effortlessly, my abdomen flutters in open awe. _Jesus Christ!_  

The stray is entirely unable to speak, causing my life to stalk back towards her seat in muted triumph. ‘Your witness.’ 

Langan stands with a heavy sigh. ‘No questions for this witness.’  

 _What?_ Alex, Liz, Fin and I almost can’t believe our ears as we turn to stare in Langan's direction. _He knows there's no point._  

Only when Ashton Senior shoots his attorney a death stare, do I realise this isn’t over. ‘Joel...’ he suddenly barks.  

‘ _Objection!’_ Alex growls as Langan turns to his standing client. 

‘Stewards,’ Liz commands as three personnel grab Bob Ashton and escort him from the courtroom.  

‘I’m sorry f...’ the stray calls out after his retreating father. 

After a deep breath, Liz addresses the court. ‘Mr Ashton will no longer be attending sessions. For your information Trevor, I gave the entire courtroom a final warning. I will not accept such behaviour.’ 

‘Kressler, are you wishing to question this witness?’ Liz offers before she prematurely bangs her gavel. 

‘No questions, Your Honour,’ comes the creep's smug response. _L_ _et the boy drown_ _in his_ _guilt to save his own client._  

‘Next witness,’ Donnelly orders without recess. _Yes, let’s keep the momentum_. 

Alex rises from her chair as soon as Ashton Junior retakes his seat, tears flowing unchecked down his face at his own stupidity.

‘The people call Mr Ray Daniels to the stand.’


	54. Fifth Witness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex examines her second rapist.
> 
> Rating: Explicit Content  
> (Rated as such due to this stray being a sick bastard. The actual rape is not openly discussed or detailed)  
> Caution recommended.

I swallow my nausea as Daniels takes the stand. Alex remains behind her desk until he is seated and sworn in.  

I’m aware her behaviour has changed slightly with this stray; _m_ _ore_ _careful_ _._ _It’s one thing playing with match_ _es_ _; quite another_ _playing_ _wi_ _th_ _fire_. I maintain a tight grip on my weapon.  

‘Mr Daniels...’ my Omega begins as she walks to the jury bench. I hear her silent mantra: _Don’t show your fear_ _._ _I am safe and in control_ _..._  

 _I’m here_. 

‘Miss Cabot,’ he drawls, literally salivating at the prospect of sparring with his victim. My stomach twists painfully _. A_ _true psychopath._  

Alex turns to Liz, who repeats her previous requirement that the strays do not address my life. 

When he chuckles, my blood runs cold. _He’s enjoy_ _ing_ _this_. When asked to acknowledge Donnelly’s command, he completely ignores her. 

‘Mr Daniels, my statement isn't a request. You either submit or you’re in contempt of court. _Your_ choice!’ Liz uses her most caustic of tones, knowing this stray is dangerous; truly, unpredictably dangerous. _No wonder Alex is staying back._  

‘Yes Ma’am,’ he finally relents, his ego taking a knock so he can continue playing his game. _He’s waited for this_ , I know with absolute certainty. I try not to heave _._  

My life shares my feelings as she decides against toying with him. ‘When you first met me, what was my predicament?’ I notice Alex trying not to bite her bottom lip in rage, as the stray follows her every move; a wolf stalking his chosen deer.  

 _Don’t you fucking dare_ , I warn silently, knowing I’ll have little restraint. 

‘Do you want the first time I _met_ you or the time relevant to this case?’ he replies, shocking everybody, but no one more than my Omega. _He’s raped_ _her_ _before_... My heart chokes me as I take in the frozen frame of my life. _I'm h_ _ere_ _. Y_ _ou’re safe_. 

Alex looks to Liz for guidance, for the first time in this case. ‘Approach,’ Donnelly voices, her features utterly calm whilst my body riots with adrenaline. _T_ _hank God she is here_. 

I can’t hear the whispers that follow for the next few minutes between the judge and attorneys. Their voices purposely low to keep their conversation private from all ears, including the mutt, sitting within feet of them.  

The drum in my ears deafens me as I focus on the ramrod straight form of my life; their discussion finally coming to an end. _It drives me crazy that I don’t know what they_ _’ve_ _decided._  

‘Mr Ashton, please describe my predicament in the incident relevant to this case,’ Alex clarifies, her voice low and calm though her skin and insides are no doubt crawling. _My life._  

‘You were tied down, spread eagle like, on the grass. You’re wrists were bound together above your head and your feet were spread and held down with rope and stakes. You were face up, naked and...’ he describes, _in detail_.  

‘Was there anything about the stakes that made them identifiable or unique?’ my life asks hurriedly, to stop him, and potentially others, fantasizing about this. I dig my nails in. 

‘As a matter of fact, yes,’ he replies so calmly, a shiver creeps up my spine. He purposely leaves Alex waiting, forcing her to prompt him. 

‘So what made them unique?’ my life asks coolly, conveying an air of vague indifference completely at odds with her words.  

Daniels appraises her for a full minute, eking out every last second of pleasure he can as his eyes rake her body. _You sonofabitch!_ Alex doesn’t bite, instead raising her finger subtly as a sign to me, to Liz, that she knows what she’s doing.  

Eventually, he gets bored of not hearing his own voice. ‘They had ‘Rape Stakes’ etched into each one of them,’ he finally answers as I cover my mouth fleetingly in disgust. _Firstly, the stakes are heinous. Second_ _ly_ _, he must have taken his time_ _to notice._  

My life walks to her desk and picks up three evidence bags. ‘Exhibits 9 thru 12,’ she states, identifying them before she briefly shows the jury each etching; being mindful of the two jurors who wouldn’t let go of their scented t-shirts.  

Alex then presses her remote control to zoom in on one of the stakes, on the television screen. The etching suddenly comes into stark focus. _They_ _ar_ _e a definite match_. 

 _I can’t love_ _or_ _admire_ _my Omega more than_ _in_ _this moment_.  

‘Did you have anything with you?’ my Omega asks vaguely. 

‘I was homeless. I had _everything_ with me,’ he responds heartily, amused rather than disgruntled. 

‘Did you have anything on your person that you used against me?’ Alex questions, her body language and tone showing none of the emotions, I know, are bubbling underneath. 

‘My penis,’ he answers, laughing at his own wit.  

‘Mr Kressler, control your client or I will throw him in general pop,’ Liz threatens openly, feeling able to do so now this mangy mutt has confessed to raping Alex. _I love you. I’m here. You’re safe._  

‘Your Honour,’ Kressler acquiesces futilely. _H_ _e can’t control this animal_ _!_ I glance at Fin, who nods his understanding. _Be ready._  

‘Anything else?’ my life perseveres.  

My heart drops as he attempts to verbally violate her again. ‘Oh yes, well remembered. I had my trusty little knife with me,’ he says in mock forgetfulness. I bite my tongue as I imagine ripping his testicles from his body and feeding them to him. 

‘What did you do with it... the knife?’ Alex bravely continues, quickly clarifying her meaning before the stray uses it as another invitation to torment her. 

‘Well, I threatened to cut you if you didn’t do _exactly_ as I said. I threatened to burn you too, if you remember?’ he offers sickly, his voice becoming hoarse with arousal as he reminisces about Alex's assault like it was some social event they attended together. _This needs to stop!_ my head screams as I glare at Donnelly. She meets my eyes for a millisecond before taking in the room to hide our communication. _Everyone who_ _se_ _seen_ _my life_ _’s_ _medical report know_ _s_ _he cut and burnt he_ _r._   

‘What did you force me to say?’ my life persists with this disturbing line of enquiry. 

‘I told you to call me daddy whilst I fucked you six ways from Sunday.’ I almost retch as Alex trembles slightly. He notices and smiles a lecherous grin. 

I see movement out of the corner of my eye as the head juror stands, totally breaking protocol. ‘I can’t stand this,’ he whines, his eyes pleading with Liz to stop this. 

‘Sit down,’ Donnelly states authoritatively. He does as asked. ‘I’m assuming there is a point to this, Miss Cabot?’ her own disgust entirely hidden behind her steel facade. 

‘One more question, if I may, Your Honour?’ my life requests. _Here we go..._  

‘So be it,’ Liz grants Alex her wish. 

‘Mr Daniels, you have previous for raping your daughter as well as fifteen other...’  

‘ _Objection!’_ Kressler yells with such force, I’m amazed he doesn’t burst a blood vessel. ‘Miss Cabot knows she can’t discuss previous convictions during this case.’ I can’t quite believe the fuck up Kresslers just made. _Convictions?_ I note the slight smirk cross my life’s features before she bites her bottom lip to stifle her innate need to rebuttal. She doesn't voice the obvious argument that Mr Daniels has already offered up his previous activities. My Omega purposefully doesn’t counter the objection at all, knowing she, and Kressler, have gotten her message across: 

 _Daniels_ _is_ _a sick son of a bitch_ _who_ _deserves medieval_ _tortur_ _e_. _And he would have raped her, or any one_ _,_ _in that vulnerable state, no matter their_ _hierarchical_ _status._  

Thru all this, the stray continues to silently feed off my Omega. I can see it in his eyes. _He doesn’t_ _care_ _about the case._ _He'll get three square meals a day and a_ _roof_ _over his head._ _He just wants to play_ _God_ _with Alex, one last time._  

I’m completely aware Alex isn’t doing this for herself _. She’s_ _suffering_ _this to ensure he receives full sentenc_ _ing_ _on all counts, to protect Omega's from th_ _e_ _freak_ _that_ _is_ _Ray Daniels_ _._  

‘Miss Cabot, as you’ve discussed Mr Daniels previous convictions, you are in breach of his human rights.’ _What about Alex's_ _?_ my mind screams. ‘Therefore, I am forced to place you in contempt of court. Stewards, take Miss Cabot to a cell, but do _not_ under any circumstances _touch_ her.’ _Just as planned._ _There’s no where safer than a one person cell with two guard dogs by her side (Fin and I)._ ‘I think Miss Cabot could use the time to remind herself of her constitutional duties. Court is adjourned until I see fit! I will be in touch,’ Liz finishes, hitting her gavel as her eyes purposely avoid mine.  

Two stewards escort Alex to the custody door; Fin and I follow behind them.  

‘You’re _definitely_ the best fuck I’ve _ever_ had! I’ll rub myself raw thinking of you and our times together!’ Daniels hollers from the witness stand, causing my life to vomit as soon as we’re out of sight. 

 _You fucking..._ my rage suddenly boils over as I turn to head back into the courtroom, to kill him.

'No _Liv!'_ Alex calls after me, in warning. I halt my advance. Only my life's voice stops me. I turn to her. It takes every thread of self control I possess to not lose my professional guise in front of the stewards and take her in my arms. _Breathe and calm the fuck down!_

As soon as Alex is securely locked in her cell, the key handed over to Fin, the stewards retreating back to the courtroom, my Omega meets my gaze. No words can convey how much the last 15 minutes have taken out of her. _My life_ , I silently whimper as she continues to drink me in: _her Alpha, her home_. The haunted expression in her eyes nearly kills me. 

I know now is not the time but the only question reverberating in my mind is: _is he the tally maker?_  

After several minutes of tension filled silence, Alex licks her lips to wake them. ‘Go get her, Liv,’ she whispers, giving me permission to leave her for the first time since the precinct, and my resulting withdrawal.  

‘Yes Ma'am.’ I nod towards Fin and start moving my rebellious limbs before I lose the fight I so desperately need, to walk away from my remarkable Omega. 


	55. Plan B/Final Witness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Alex be able to examine her final witness?  
> Who is her final witness?  
> Will the defence team ruin her chances?
> 
> Rating: Mature Content

As soon as Bob Ashton was thrown out of court and taken back to prison for the remainder of the trial, Plan B has been in effect.  

Alex had truly wanted to slay him on the stand but following her last witness, I'm uncertain the jury could have stomached it. _I know my heart, palms and soul can't_ _take anymore_ _without killing_ _somebody_.   
   
_Maybe this_ _i_ _s for the best,_ I surmise, as I force my way thru the foyer of reporters to the riot police, who shield me to my car. I don't risk testing whether the Mayor's son was the snipers _actual_ target. _In reality, I know he wasn't_.    
   
Only when I'm safely in my Tesla, driving to collect Alex's final witness, do I allow my core to ache at the void our distance has created. I feel human, normal, _lost_. My heart is beating healthily, my lungs are inflating without pummelling my ribcage, my palms are dry and nail free, my clit is still and my pulse isn't deafening me. _I miss the chaos rioting thru my body. I yearn for my Omega like the deserts miss the rain_.    
   
I keep my grip firmly on the steering wheel to stop me flicking the indicator and careening back to my life and taking her until she forgets every hand but mine, _to hell with the custody cameras_.    
   
_No! Keep going._    
   
   
45 minutes later   
   
Driving back to the courthouse with our witness, Kate, beside me, I receive a text from Liz: _the case will resume at 4pm._  

 _32 minutes from now. Perfect Liz. Just as planned,_ I smile to myself, thanking fates that we have her. _Give the_ _defence_ _the notion my life is being suitably chastised whilst providing me_ _with_ _the opportunity to safely escort our last witness to the stand, whilst Alex is in 'protective' custody._    
   
I observe Kate from the corner of my eye as I park outside the Supreme Courthouse. I've warned her of the dangers, the risks, the do's and don'ts, but she vehemently wants to share her testimony. I admire her spirit fleetingly before I nod towards the riot police who descend the steps in seconds.   
   
   
10 minutes later   
   
As soon as Kate is safely in the hands of the court stewards, I hurry back to the cells; _back to my life._ Anticipation floods my veins moments before my Omega's scent drowns every fibre of my being. _God!_ I turn the corner, trying desperately to inhale enough oxygen to survive this onslaught, as I feast on Alexandra Cabot. My clit twitches as I register similar emotions in her iridescent orbs. I note her trembling limbs and panting chest as she struggles to contain her own carnal urges. _Jesus!_    
   
_I live for you!_ my mind and body scream; our location forbidding me from voicing it. I read the heat, love and spirit surging in her cloudy blues as I nod my head once: _She's here. She's safe,_ knowing Alex will have been concerned.    
   
   
22 minutes later   
   
My Omega is released from custody with a heavy warning from Liz: '... only reason you're being released is because you _are_ your _own_ prosecutor,' Donnelly continues, as she faces Alex with her sternest glare. _A fine actor. She's had to be_. '... is that _clear_ , Miss Cabot?'    
   
'Yes, Your Honour,' my life replies softly, lowering her head in faux remorse and submission, playing the cowed and respectful attorney.   
   
'Good. Now I hear you have one final witness?' Donnelly changes the subject.    
   
Alex raises her head to glance at the judge. 'Yes, Your Honour, one more.'   
   
'Continue, Miss Cabot,' Liz acquiesces as she looks over to the depleted defence team: _six to three._ I hide a smile.   
   
My life rises from behind her desk. 'The People are calling Kate Reisner as our final witness.' The courtroom murmurs in confusion, not recognising the name.    
   
Kate is sworn in and clasps her hands in front of her, no doubt relieved her rapist isn't sat at the defence bench.    
   
'Miss Reisner, thank you for attending today,' Alex begins, approaching her witness. 'What is your status?' she asks, her examination as direct and efficient as ever.    
   
'Objection,' Kressler challenges earlier than we expected. _Fuck!_ _He's going to be a jerk during this statement._ 'Relevance?'    
   
'I'm wishing to clarify Miss Reisner's hierarchical status for the court, as status has been a theme thru out this case, and is the reason Miss Reisner has been called,' Alex counters smoothly, awaiting Liz's ruling.   
   
'Overuled,' Donnelly decides.   
   
I watch Alex take the smallest of breaths, knowing she'll have to be incredibly careful to keep the questions relevant to avoid a mistrial. 'Your status, Miss Reisner?'    
   
'I'm an Omega, mixed blood,' Kate clarifies as she looks at my life with an expression I can't quite read.    
   
'How long have you known you’re an Omega?'    
   
'Since puberty,' Kate's reply is immediate.    
   
'How did you find out?' Alex continues, hoping the defence won't bite, yet.    
   
'When my family, teachers and friends began abusing me at a certain time of the month,' Kate answers, providing the court with an account of an Omega's life experiences, without Alex having to reveal further details of her own suffering.    
   
'Certain time of the month?' Alex reflects, prompting Kate to explain further.   
   
'Each month, when I'm menstruating, I have to hide away to protect myself,' she replies.   
   
'Your Honour, _again_ , how is Miss Reisner’s testimony relevant to this case? We've already been introduced to the idea of hierarchy,' Kressler objects once more. _Idea?!_    
   
'It's important that the jury hear a first hand account of what life is like, from an Omega’s perspective,' Alex argues as my heart rate increases. _Careful Lex._    
   
'Surely, _you_ will have that opportunity when I call you as a witness?' Kressler counters, looking from my life to Liz. _Oh you_ _c_ _reepy fucker!_ my head screams, knowing he's got a hard on for Alex.   
   
'This is the first I've heard of the defence calling me as a witness,' Alex retorts, her ire obvious as she glares at the defence bench.    
   
'Mr Langan and Mr Kressler, perhaps be a little more forward in your notice and Miss Cabot, find yourself duly notified. Are there any further _direct_ lines of enquiry you wish to explore?'    
   
My life bites her lip in thought. 'Miss Reisner, why did you choose to take the stand today?'   
   
'Because I felt my testimony could aide your case,' she answers plainly.   
   
Instead of asking the obvious question, my life turns to the defence attorneys. 'I wonder why the defence team, notably Mr Granger, Mr Buchannan ( _good, remind the jury of_ _their_ _misbehaviour_ ) and Mr Kressler, allowed this witness _if_ they have no idea why she is here?' _Clever; place the burden of suspicion and responsibility_ _on their shoulders_ _whilst hinting at a hidden truth, the most heinous of hidden truths._    
   
'Does Miss Cabot expect us to answer her?' Kressler asks Liz, incredulous. 'Surely, she _should_ _know_ we aren't on the witness stand and so, are not legally obliged to answer?' he continues in his smarmy drawl. _You snivelling little bastard._  

‘Got something to hide, Roger?’ Alex can’t help but bite, her gaze utterly focused on the creep. His entire body trembles; _in fear,_ _from_ _arousal, I'm unsure._ I grip my weapon for reassurance. _You try it._  

‘Miss Cabot!’ comes Donnelly's inevitable challenge. ‘Move on.’ 

'When you mentioned having to protect yourself, what was happening to you?' my life persists on a slightly different directory, knowing she'll be shouted down at any moment.    
   
'I was being raped, repeatedly...' Kate replies just as Langan, this time, stands.   
   
'I'm having trouble comprehending why Miss Reisner is _still_ on the stand when we will be examining Miss Cabot; the _direct witness_ ,' he queries, his expression one of genuine confusion.    
   
'Ask me,' the witness goads him as Alex quietly sits down and waits for Trevor to bite. _Please_.   
   
Langan turns to my Omega, raising his eyebrow questioningly. Alex stares back, shrugging her shoulders. The gesture is challenging but natural. _I know then..._    
   
'Nothing further,' my life states, giving him the floor.    
   
Langan turns to his one remaining client; a 16 year old boy, _guilty_ of some of our nations most heinous crimes. The court observes with baited breath as he mulls his options _._ 'Why? Miss Reisner?' _Yes!_ I almost yell in celebration.   
   
'Because Bob Ashton raped me four years ago, in similar circumstances to Miss Cabot.' The room is eerily quiet as shock ripples thru the court.   
   
Kressler gets to his feet. 'Your Honour,' he whines, raising his hands in muted exasperation and helplessness.   
   
'The jury will disregard Miss Reisner's last statement,' Liz instructs before she turns back to Kressler, knowing he will argue further.   
   
'Oh, _come on_ , Your Honour! This witness is a blatant ploy to...' he begins.   
   
'I would be hearing your arguments out and disbarring Miss Cabot, _if_ Miss Cabot had asked the question. She didn't. Miss Cabot had ended her line of enquiry and handed the baton to you, the defence team. Therefore, I am unable to do more than what I’ve already instructed,' Liz stifles Kressler's objection expertly. _Thank you Liz and thank you Trevor!_    
   
Kressler gives Langan his most peeved glare before he steps into the ring, silently signalling to Trevor to sit down. 'Miss Reisner, has Mr Bob Ashton been found guilty of your allegation?'    
   
_'Objection!'_ my life snarls aggressively as Kressler looks at her in utter shock. Alex's objection is so forceful, I almost miss Trevor's simultaneous challenge. _A_ _s does_ _Kressler_ _._    
   
'Really counsellor?' he challenges my Omega directly.   
   
'I didn't open this door,' she retorts heatedly, using every letter of the law to her advantage. _My heroin!_    
   
'This was _fucking_ planned!' Kressler seethes as he advances on my life. I stand, innately. _Don't you..._    
   
'Please direct your anger towards your colleague,' Alex suggests, standing, her arms crossed tightly over her chest as she throws Langan under the bus. Trevor remains seated and quiet, utterly aware of the damage he has done to his case.    
   
_'Mr_ _Kressler_ _!'_ Donnelly's voice booms over the din. 'Back away from Miss Cabot and Miss Reisner, _right now_ ,' Liz commands icily, her tone requiring absolute obedience. Kressler steps back. 'Stewards,' she instructs, as the creep loses his shit.    
   
'What the _hell_ _? I didn't do anything!!'_ he yells as he approaches Langan. Trevor stands to his full height, causing Kressler to back off, his arms raised in defeat. 'Okay, _okay!'_ The stewards march him out.   
   
'Any further arguments Mr Langan?'    
   
'Nothing further for this witness, Your Honour,' he answers distractedly, still deep in thought. 

‘Miss Cabot?'    
   
My life turns to Liz, her arms still surrounding her body. 'The prosecution rests, Your Honour.'   
   
'Then court is adjourned until 9am tomorrow morning. The defence will call your first witness. Miss Reisner, thank you for your testimony,' Liz states evenly as she bangs her gavel.    
   
I notice the very moment my life exhales the breath she's been holding. _You did it, my love._ _Surely, a_ _ll three_ _strays are going to prison for the rest of their lives._  

 

As the court empties, I observe first Kate, then Langan, approach my sitting Omega. Kate whispers something I can't hear before she moves away. She nods at me before leaving; a known safe person taking her home. _Thank you Kate_. 

Trevor tries to catch my life’s eye. He finally leaves. I am unsure whether he was successful. 

Alex finally stands once every attendee has vacated the courtroom. She squares her shoulders as she turns to Fin and I. 'Lets get out of here,' my life whispers with a fierce intensity that stirs my soul. My pride knows no bounds.

_Yes Ma'am!_

 

Only once we're safely chaperoned into my waiting Tesla, Fin driving, does my Omega meet my gaze once more. ‘Ask me,’ she allows, her icy mask slipping now she is alone with the only two people she trusts. 

‘Langan?’ 

Alex's attention is abruptly taken when she retrieves a foreign piece of paper from her pocket. My life reads it silently; a new resolve shaping her lips as she passes it to me. 

 _From one Omega to another: what you are doing is_ _incredible, mind-blowing, awe inspiringly courageous._ _Your spirit is allowing this Omega to have hope for the first time_ _in my life._  

 _One day, we may_ _actually_ _be able to enjoy life_ _:_ _every day, of every month, of every year._ _Without fear._ _And I am not alone._  

 _Know this_ _Alex,_ _we are not alone_ _!_ _There are radio stations, websites, blogs, YouTube_ _channels_ _and news_ _stations_ _dedicated_ _to you and your mission._  

 _Whenever you’re feeling desperately alone, and trust me when I say I know the feeling,_ _remember_ _you have an army of supporters behind you that are finding their voices because of you._  

 _I love you Alexandra Cabot and I will until the day I_ _die._  

I turn back to my life. ‘Kate?’ 

‘Kate,’ she confirms as the relief and exhaustion, from successfully completing her offensive action against all odds, from the realisation she has at least one supporter outside our pack; finally engulfs her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kate Reisner was mentioned by Melinda in Chapter One, as Bob Ashton's previous victim. Putting this due to feedback and also as I wrote the character nearly a year ago.


	56. Heart to Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex, Olivia and Fin arrive home.
> 
> Rating: Explicit Content  
> (You know what that means by now)

We arrive back home safely. Fin immediately shifts to leave the car. I grasp his shoulder before he escapes. ‘How're you holding up, Fin?’ I ask, trying to comprehend how painful this entire case is for him.  

He turns to look at me, then my exhausted Omega. ‘Ask me another time, baby girl,’ he replies, squeezing my hand briefly before he gets out and shuts the door behind him; walking alone to the cabin. _Oh Fin._  

I gaze at my Omega. My heart roars in my ears and my lungs pummel my rib cage as I drink in the cloudy blue oceans gazing back. _Jesus,_ _Go_ _d!_  

The hour my body was without it's counter point, left me starving to reaffirm our physical connection. I note the same hunger mirrored in Alex's iridescent orbs.  

I lick my lips, wondering how we'll make it to the cabin but knowing we _must_. My life has similar thoughts as she leans forward, into the drivers seat, and presses the window black out button.  

‘Liv,’ she says breathlessly. ‘If you don't take me in the next five sec...’  

I jump on her, my hands tearing at her clothes as my mouth over powers hers. _Fucking hell!_ my mind screams as my body surges with overwhelming arousal, as intoxicating as our first time. My tongue penetrates her, toying with her lips and sparring with her tongue as I feel Alex's hand force its way inside my jeans. She doesn't tease me, her fingers immediately stroking me to soul shattering climax.  

I collapse on top of her as my limbs weaken under the heady weight of relentless mind blowing pleasure; surging, scorching thru my entire body. I tear my mouth away to breathe before nipping my way down her neck column. I try, and fail, to give her manual pleasure at the same time. My life moves her ministrations slightly higher, completely blindsiding me as an involuntary groan escapes my lips. All I can do is attempt not to crush my Omega as her skilled fingers cause my core to swell and contract over and over and over again. _Jesus!_  

Finally, I begin to wheeze; my lungs desperately pleading for oxygen as my body shows signs of complete and utter paralysis under my life’s expert tickles and strokes. ‘Tef...lon,’ I whimper.  

Alex’s fingers immediately desist, affording me several moments to collect myself. I look into her eyes as I catch my breath, quickly realising I shouldn't have, as primal urges permeate every fibre of my being.  

I finally regain enough strength to take complete control of my Omega. I swiftly place a knee between her legs and let my fingers delve inside her still intact panties. Her body instinctively arches into the source of her rapture as I lean back to take in the beauty of her forms innate need to reconnect. _Jesus Christ!_   

I realise I'm salivating as I watch Alex's intoxicatingly aroused features, her naked, undulating chest and her clothed apex, thrusting and rubbing earnestly against my fingers and strategically placed knee.  

My life suddenly lifts her leg to brush my clothed clit but I use a hand to pin her down so that I can have my fill of her pleasure.  

I watch Alex bite her lip as yet another orgasm rips thru her. I listen to each and every gasp, moan and whimper that escapes her lips as I lean over to tease her erect nipple, intensifying the molten heat scorching thru her.  

My Omega reaches for me, wishing to share her pleasure but I pin her wrists with my free hand, so I can utterly dominate her. I continue to circle her nipple as my fingers and knee grind against her, relentless in their pursuit of endless bone shattering climax.  

I have a core deep need to remind my life how pleasurable sex can be. I have a carnal drive to enforce it. _I will work tirelessly_ _until my fingers, hands, mouth and body are_ _all_ _she_ _think_ _s_ _of when I touch and make love to her_ _, even if it takes the rest of our lives_.  

I release her wrists and remove the last of our clothing, before I shift my Omega into the most intimate position I've instigated. I tuck my left leg underneath Alex's right thigh and rest my free leg over hers, bent at the knee with our corresponding feet placed in the foot well for purchase. I pull my life up until her chest is touching mine, our faces five inches apart as I begin thrusting my aching clit against hers. I soon realise how intimate a position this is as I watch discomfort flash across my life’s features.  

I stop, _immediately_ ; my trembling core on the cusp as I envelope my Omega in my arms. ‘I'm sorry. I love you, you're safe,’ I whisper repeatedly into Alex's ear as I hold her shaking form to mine. I feel my life's arms tighten around me with a desperate need for comfort and understanding. ‘You're with your Alpha. You're with your Olivia. You're safe. You're loved. You're beautiful,’ I continue to reassure her as I thread my fingers thru her flaxen mane.  

‘My... Alpha,’ Alex utters with such pain in each syllable, my soul plummets to the Earth’s core. ‘I...,’ she tries but her tears overwhelm her. I embrace her closer still as the impact of the trial: of facing her rapists, endlessly fighting for justice, arguing against an unscrupulous defence team and facing the ramifications of such actions on herself and potentially other Omegas; finally, heart-breakingly reveals itself.  

‘I've been waiting for this,’ I whisper into her ear as she tightens her grip on me still further. ‘I want to know when somethings _not_ okay; when you're not okay. I will always _stop_ and be with you,’ I continue, softly. ‘Or give you space, if and when you need it,’ I add as I nuzzle her temple, loosening my hold to give her absolute control. 

‘I know,’ she murmurs thru shaky breaths. ‘I know.’ Alex runs her fingers thru my hair as she grounds herself. ‘I need you,’ she whispers into my neck. I clutch her tighter to me, silently conveying my absolute comprehension, as I wait for her to find the words. ‘He... Daniels, he’s not the tally counter,’ my life states earnestly as I wait for more; my heart breaking and soaring that it isn't him. _So he's still out there?!_ ‘I remember every scent, every sight, every sound,’ my life chokes out as she slowly pulls away from me. ‘He’d never raped me before that night. His scent was particularly unique, almost sickly sweet,’ Alex says, tensing her face in memory. ‘He’s certainly diabetic, perhaps morbidly so. And that's before we take into account the fact rapists generally stick to a particular, individual MO,’ she trembles violently as she shares her inner monologue, for only about the third time in our relationship. ‘The only other _perverted bastard_ who forced me to call him daddy whilst he... he... raped me, was my step father,’ Alex swallows thickly to stem her nausea as she finally looks me straight in the eye. _God!_ I will never forget the haunted expression in her iridescent orbs at this moment; _an insight into pure, unadulterated torment and despair_. It nearly kills me to see such horrifying pain, drawn from the depths of her soul. ‘That _bastard_ was toying with me. He knew if I questioned his fantasy, it would place his entire testimony in jeopardy. I _had_ to dance to his beat, to take him down,’ my life states bitterly, her disgust utterly apparent. 

I keep quiet, knowing any questions may stifle her wish, her need, to vent. I'm surprised when a humourless laugh escapes her lips. A tear runs the length of her exquisite face as she inhales deeply. ‘You know the colleague who groped me? Who forced me to flee the party?’ Alex asks, rhetorically, not requiring an answer. _How could I ever forget?_ ‘Guess who it was?’ _Shit! No!_ Her eyes watch mine, reading the comprehension in my bronze orbs as she nods her head. ‘I never had a problem with him until that night. We'd almost been friends. Well, as friendly as a pure blood Omega can be with a pull person higher up the food chain,’ my life shakes her head, chiding herself. ‘I don't know whether he lulled me into a false sense of security or I gave him the wrong signals...’ Alex places a finger over my lips, to stop me arguing her point. ‘I don't know whether the alcohol affected his inhibitions or whether he truly was _trying_ to be a good man and slipped up. Either way, something about him weakened my barriers enough to let him within a foot of me.’ _What about him?_ my head queries silently as my life pins me with her cloudy blue gaze once more. ‘I was a _fool_. Of course, he _couldn't_ just be a gentleman, a _good_ man,’ Alex utters in shameful frustration as she leans over me to pick up her discarded coat from the foot well.  

‘Were you attracted to him?’ I can't stop myself asking.  

Alex’s head snaps up at the question. ‘I was desperate for a _friend_. _Somebody_ to understand. _Someone_ I could talk to without judging me or wanting to have sex with me. And _no_ , I only have one type,’ my life answers, as she lays her coat over us.   

‘And what's that?’ I ask, insecurity stoking my nerves. 

‘Maybe a certain, shero detective,’ Alex replies immediately, her hand squeezing mine under her coat as her eyes sparkle at me. The roaring beat of my jealous heart gives way to the soaring freedom of my relieved soul. I squeeze back. 

‘I think that's why he did what he did today. He owed me,’ my Omega continues. ‘The bizarre thing is, I _want_ to believe he is good, even after what he’s done, as he's the only pull person I’ve worked closely with, who didn't try something for several years,’ Alex explains as she fiddles with her coat zipper. _Hell is an Omega's life._    

‘You were hoping someone, just _one_ pull person, would be genuinely good.’  

‘I wasn't going to make that mistake again, until I opened my eye to the most beautiful sight I ever saw,’ my life leans into me as she smiles, recalling one of her few happy memories. My heart contracts at her words. I pull her in closer until her frame is snuggled deeply into my chest.  

‘How did you know? That I wasn't dangerous, I mean?’ I whisper into her hair. 

‘I didn't, hence the tests. Even though I _wanted_ to pair with you, to mate with you; you still could have raped me, beaten me, hurt me,’ my life utters as she nuzzles into the crook of my neck, her actions speaking volumes. ‘The first time I invited you into my apartment, you were either going to kill me or save me.’ My stomach lurches at her brutally honest utterance. _Another form of suicide._  

‘I notice you used past tense,’ I observe quickly. 

‘Mmm,’ Alex murmurs. ‘Stop being needy, Liv. It’s a turn off!’ she quips, making me laugh, as I hug her to me even closer.  

‘I love you, Assistant District Attorney Alexandra Cabot,’ I whisper against her temple. She raises her head to look at me questioningly. ‘Well, perhaps one day. You're one hell of an ADA in practice, if not in name.’ 

My beautiful Omega smiles at me before snuggling back into the crook of my neck. ‘I love you more, Lieutenant Olivia Benson.’

After several minutes: ‘Let me talk to Fin, okay?’


	57. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia, Alex and Fin.
> 
> Rating: Mature Content

We finally decamp to the cabin. Upon finding Fin's bedroom door shut, we respect his need for privacy as I walk to the kitchen for sustenance; Alex to our bathroom to scrub today away. _A closed door means_ _‘_ _do not disturb_ _’_ _in this_ _household_ _._  

A while later, I hear movement. ‘Meg,’ Fin calls quietly as he enters the kitchen, the only room where knocking isn't required.

I turn to him in confusion as Alex gives him her full attention; her hair lose and still damp from a shower. 

Fin feels the power of my gaze. ‘Meg for Omega... as Teflon was taken,’ he explains with a tiny grin, his cheeks suddenly flush. I sense my life smirking as I smile back at him, feeling comfortable and unashamed in his company. 

‘I call him Omi, for similar reasons,’ Alex explains further as I try not to melt at their cuteness. _I love my Omega's_. ‘What up, Omi?’ she asks, concern furrowing her exquisite features.

‘I’ll...’ I mumble, my movements speaking for themselves as I begin to heed my life's earlier request. 

‘No, Liv. You need to hear this too. Just promise you won't kill me?’ his words send a shiver down my spine. _What could he possibly say that would..._

We watch him pace the floor, anxiety pouring off him. ‘Omi?’ Alex stresses. ‘You're worrying me.’ She stands from the breakfast bar and walks to him. Fin stops, but only because my life steps in front of him. ‘ _Please_. Tell us.’

He runs a hand over his face nervously. ‘I... I thought of somethin' that'll help you but you won't like it,’ he confesses as he steps away from my Omega. 

‘ _Fin_ ,’ I state too harshly. ‘Please _sit_ down and talk before you ware the tiles out and give us a heart attack,’ I suggest. 

He finally settles on a stool. Alex sits two stools away, reading his need for space as I stay put, sat the opposite side to them. 

‘Okay,’ he says, drumming up his courage. I hadn't noticed the slickness of my palms until this moment. _Fuck!_ Alex and I share a fleeting glance. ‘I thought about what's been said about gettin' Meg up the food chain.’ My stomach lurches despite myself. ‘I know it’s fucked up and it may not work but I'd... I'll...’ I smell his unease as he finally shares his thoughts. ‘I've been thinkin’ about it a lot and I wanna help.’

I gaze at my Omega, sensing her shock. I bite my lip to stem my immediate response, knowing this isn't my choice. 

My life stands to pace the floor, before squeezing Fin's hand to convey her understanding that this comes from a moral, loving place; not a sick, animal urge. 

Alex runs her fingers thru her damp hair, oblivious to the impact that one action alone has on me, until she senses my heat and turns to gaze into my soul. _I love you but I_ _wo_ _n't decide for you_. 

When I say nothing, Alex turns back to Fin with an expression of genuine confusion. ‘We... we just wanted to check in on you and..,’ my life states redundantly, at a loss as to what to say. _I_ _can_ _completely understand why._

I stare at them; feeling the electricity sizzle between hope and absolute refusal. My heart yearns to beat him whilst my head stumbles over the infinite possibilities _if_ Alex was to transition. 

‘I’m fine Meg. I ain't been abused since I was 15. I learnt to keep under the radar way back,’ he begins as I lock my lips to give him the time and space he needs and deserves. _I've learnt more_ _about_ _Fin_ _in the last four minutes, than_ _in_ _the past_ _two years_ _._ ‘I know how to be unseen and untouched,’ he continues as he lays the tips of his fingers against the grain of the countertop. ‘I can do that. You can't,’ Fin says, looking at my Omega. ‘It’s like your beauty is your curse. Your vibe is all a person needs; over water, over food, over breathin'. I have stayed to protect you as well as I can. _No one_ deserves what you’ve been thru,’ he near whispers as my life tries to take his hand. Fin avoids her touch. ‘ _But_ _,_ I'm a lil selfish too. I feel it; just like Liv, like Donnelly...’ Alex and I look at each other briefly, not altogether surprised by our quiet but forever observant Fin, picking up Liz's weakness regarding my forever intoxicating Omega. ‘... I _feel_ potential threats. I can smell sweat, just like you,’ he clarifies, glancing at Alex briefly, before lowering his head. ‘I know which people make you nervous. I know I don't and that means everythin’ to me. But I can't...’ Fin pauses, deep in thought, as he watches Alex out of the corner of his eye. 

‘Omi...’ my life tries but stops herself when Fin moves to speak again. 

‘I _can_ _’_ _t_ take another person abusing you!’ he barks suddenly, causing both of us to straighten in surprise, having become increasingly hunched to hear him. ‘You've been thru so much and I wanna... Well, I _need_ to help you. I'll kill the next _scumbag_ who even looks at you funny,’ Fin growls passionately, as my heart seizes in utter comprehension of his feelings. I offer him my up-turned palm. He is reluctant to take it, knowing he’s ultimately making a very clear pass at my life partner, _for her benefit._

‘Omi...,’ Alex whispers, immediately drawing our attention. ‘I can't... I... thank you for your... thoughtful offer... but I just can't,’ she utters as her shoulders sag under the weight of the day; her eyes gazing into mine. 

‘I'm sorry Meg, Liv. Forget I...’ Fin retreats emotionally and stands to leave.

‘Fin,’ I call before he reaches the door. He stops but doesn't turn round, his embarrassment palpable. ‘I understand what and why you're suggesting this,’ I begin as my life nods her head vigorously. She goes to stand beside him.

‘Omi,’ he turns to her. ‘I don't think you realise how much you mean to us. You don't _need_ to do anything more. You've already done so much,’ Alex confirms determinedly as Fin’s shoulders begin to shake. _Oh Fin._ I stand to take over. My life raises her arm to halt my advance. I freeze, not wanting to make a sound as I watch my incredible Omega embrace the shaking form of a broken man. My soul cries as I try to be invisible; feeling every inch the interloper in this most powerful of moments. 

I inhale a deep breath as Fin withdraws from Alex's arms, his shoulders low but no longer shaking, his face wet but his eyes no longer flowing. ‘I'm sorry,’ he whispers, breaking my heart even more. 

I finally feel able to approach him as my life steps away. ‘You listen to me,’ I semi command, my voice wavering. ‘You have saved _us_ in _every_ way you can,’ I state with raw certainty. ‘I've been so self centred that I've been blinded to everything besides Alex. I'm _sorry_ , my friend,’ I stress as I offer him my palm once more. He takes it. _Thank_ _Christ_ _!_ ‘I've failed you and all you've done is selflessly save and protect us; my Omega,’ I squeeze his hand as I notice Alex bite her lip to stop herself interrupting. ‘How can I be anything but lucky to call you a _m_ _o_ _st_ _trusted_ friend?’ I stress as Fin nods his head soundlessly; his expression relieved that I haven't beaten him to a pulp, for his suggestion. ‘If there’s anything we can do to make this easier for you...?’ I ask as I gaze briefly at my life. 

Alex is looking at us like an approving mother; proud of her two pups making up after a severe falling out. It melts the last vestiges of my humbled soul. _Christ!_

We're both surprised when Fin chuckles fleetingly. ‘Well, okay. You could stop bein' so loud durin’ sex...’ he answers honestly as Alex and I burst out laughing. ‘... and transition before something else happens to you,’ he finishes, his expression and tone utterly serious. ‘With me or Kate, or _someone_. _Jesus_ Alex!’ he slips from their pet names, determined to make his point. 

My life braces herself against the breakfast bar counter top. She exhales a long breath, her eyes on me. ‘I think we should start thinking about our testimony for tomorrow,’ Alex suggests, to punctuate the heaviness in the air; pinching the bridge of her nose with exhaustion. Fin nods his head, understanding: _this conversation is over_.

‘We hear you Fin. We’ll be mindful of the noise. Anything else, just let us know. Okay?’ I offer, giving him my absolute attention. He nods his affirm before opening the door to leave. 

‘Omi?’ Alex calls after him. ‘I'm sorry... Today’s... It's been a _long_ day,’ she apologises. ‘I wasn't expecting _this_ conversation.’

‘I know. Me being blunt again,’ he mutters with a small grin. ‘Mouth before head.’ Fin turns to face her fully. ‘You’re a rose in a world of thorns, Meg. I wanna... _we_ wanna protect you from becomin’ the strangled weed every jealous thorn wants you to be. You deserve so much more than livin’ your life in fear _every_ day.’ 

My Omega clutches his arm. ‘You deserve it too,’ she whispers as her tears finally begin to flow.

Fin shakes his head. ‘You, baby girl, are so much braver than me,’ he counters, his voice shaky as he turns his head to look at me, a sad echo of a smile crossing his lips, before he stalks to his room, closing the door behind him.

 

We remain frozen until we hear his shower come on. My life immediately turns to me; anger oozing from her every pore. _What the.._ _._ ‘Did you put him up to this?’ My surprised expression is enough. Alex approaches me and lays an anxious hand on mine. ‘I'm sorry,’ she apologises for the second time this evening. ‘I’m all over the place,’ my life admits as I cup her jaw.

‘Is it any wonder?’ I ask, empathetically. ‘I'm just _relieved_ you’re here, you’re standing in front of me and that I can _touch_ you,’ I admit selfishly as my Omega nuzzles into my palm. Alex lifts her hand to keep mine in place.

‘I know how you felt when he suggested it,’ my life confesses, looking into my eyes. ‘That's why I thought...’

I brush a thumb over her cheekbone. ‘Lex, we know a way to stop your torment, your fear; you just existing. I'd be a selfish, jealous cock not to be open to something that'll make your life easier.’ 

Alex's eyes pierce mine as she drinks in my features. Her silence is more unnerving than her anger. _Talk to me._ She threads a hand thru my hair as she leans in to breathe in my scent. _God_ _Al_ _ex!_ ‘You're the _only_ person I ever _want_ to _touch_ me,’ my life finally whispers, her voice hoarse with emotion. 

‘But we both know I won't be if things stay as they are,’ I softly voice the cold truth as I nuzzle her temple. The whimper that escapes Alex's lips kills me. My arms encircle her as I try to absorb her hurt, pain and despair. _I love you. I always will_. _I will protect you_ _,_ _or die trying,_ _to my_ _last_ _breath._

_I know. I_ _just_ _wish I could do the same for you._

_You do in more ways than you_ _realise_ _._

_‘God, I love you, Liv!’_ she verbalises passionately before I take ownership of her mouth. 

I break the kiss before I lose myself entirely. I rest my forehead against hers as I gaze into her cloudy blues. ‘How about we check out some of those YouTube videos and websites Kate mentioned?’

‘I don't want to stumble upon _that_ upload whilst we're searching,’ Alex points out as her entire body trembles. I swallow thickly as I rub her upper arms to ground her. _Nor do I_.

‘I'll text Kate for actual sites and video names. Or _you_ can. I think she'd be happier hearing from you,’ I suggest, teasingly. I receive a slap to the arm for my efforts. ‘Well, she did write the letter to you...’ I counter, knowing this time, I'm right. 

After finding several positively glowing sites Kate recommended, we call Fin so we can share them, together.

He stands behind us as we scroll thru websites dedicated to Alex, to both of us, even to the _cop_ who saved us. _Yes, Fin!_ It warms my heart to see such an outpouring of support for my Omegas. 

I watch their faces as we stream video after video from Omega's and Beta’s: Omega's sharing their stories, Beta's voicing their rage against the machine; even several Alpha's adding their views on a corrupt nation. 

Alex grasps my hand, her eyes focused on the screen as we happen upon a pole, started two days ago: _Alexandra Cabot_ _to win_ _._ Signed by over 56,000 people to date. 

 _‘_ _56_ _,000 people!_ 56,000 people believe me,’ she whispers breathlessly, putting her head in her hands. 

‘56,000 people in two days, Lex. You’re inspiring so many people,’ I assure her as I bring her hand up to my lips to kiss her. 

‘Tru dat,’ Fin chimes in as he smiles, a purely genuine smile. I squeeze his arm.

‘You too bud. Look at the amount of sites dedicated to you,’ I pull his attention to the _B_ _adass_ _C_ _op_ listings. 

After several more minutes of trawling the internet, I look between the two most important people in my life. ‘Guys,’ I say to gain their attention. When Alex meets my eyes, my heart flutters at the strength of the determination and joyous disbelief in her iridescent orbs. ‘I know this is all wonderful and dreamy and unbelievable. _Believe it!_ But I suggest we call it a day so we end on a high,’ I suggest, my life silently acquiescing by closing the browser. ‘But also so Alex and I can do some prep.’

‘Thanks Liv,’ Fin says, tapping my shoulder briefly before he moves to leave the room.

‘Thank Kate. Before she wrote that letter, we were terrified to switch the TV or any computer devices on,’ Alex corrects him, halting his retreat.

‘Think she'd mind you giving me her number so...’

‘She's gay, Fin,’ I interrupt him. Four years ago, I was Kate's handler. Fin hadn't joined the unit yet.

He smiles slightly at my abrupt disclosure. ‘I know. How abou’ a guy just wanting to talk to a pretty lady about similar circs?’ he argues, a familiar glint returning to his eyes. Both Alex and I can’t stop the giggles that burst from our lips.

‘I’ll give her your number so then she can decide. That okay?’ my life suggests as a compromise.

‘Alright,’ he concedes. ‘We good?’ he asks suddenly, surprising us again. I wait for my Omega to answer.

‘Of course, Omi,’ Alex replies immediately.

‘Absolutely Fin,’ I answer almost as quickly. ‘Are _we_ _?’_ I ask, desperately needing to know.

‘Yeah. Pleased we did this,’ he admits, showing us his vulnerability once more. 

‘So are we,’ my life states wistfully. ‘Whenever you need to chat, cry, whatever... I want you to know we're here for _you_. Anytime of the day or night.’

 _‘_ _Alright_ Meg, enough of that... _’_ Fin quips good naturedly, puffing out his chest as he waves us goodnight.

My Omega gazes at me, smiling her most enthralling smile. _The one she reserves_ _just for me._ ‘I love you.’ _Such a simple phrase but so very effective._  

I kiss her lips in answer, but I pull away before I ravage her on the breakfast bar. _Behave,_ _Liv_ _._  

As we walk to our room, I watch Alex typing a text. ‘Kate?’

‘Yes, a thank you message,’ she answers as I close the door behind us.

‘Lucky girl,’ I tease as my life turns her phone off and focuses her full attention on me. Oh God _!_

‘Not as lucky as I'm about to be,’ Alex counters huskily as she struts towards me. _Just_ _Damn!_


	58. Defence: First Witness/Twist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Defence Team's first witness.
> 
> Caution recommended.
> 
> Rating: Very Mature/Explicit Content

As soon as I open my eyes, I know we shouldn't have... _Fucking_ _Christ_ _!_ I move to lift my head only to be rewarded with piercing shock waves of pain radiating thru my temple, down to the very centre of my left eyeball. _Urgh_ _!_ I unconsciously go to rub it but thankfully stop myself at the last minute. My mouth feels like starch paper and my stomach screams for vitamins, minerals, _anything_.  

I turn to my life, still coiled in her foetal position under my arm; her features soft and relaxed in sleep. Her face is nuzzled into my armpit, her mouth slightly open, her breaths tickling my skin, her golden mane fanning out behind her. My pain pales into insignificance as I drink in her everything. 

I continue to peruse my sleeping beauty until her long lashes finally flutter open, revealing her stunning cloudy blue orbs.  

Alex smiles, stretching, before snuggling back into me. ‘Morning,’ she breathes. 

‘Morning,’ I reply, raising a hand to graze her cheekbone.  

‘What time is it?’ she murmurs into my breast, her breaths and lips already driving me wild. _For fuck_ _s sake_ _, Olivia!_ _Remember the_ _pain._ I remember. _Jesus!_  

My Omega immediately lifts her head, concerned, her iridescent eyes huge and questioning. ‘I'm fine. I think I need some of _that_ gloop and something substantial inside me. You're going to _kill_ me, woman!’ I joke teasingly, running my fingers thru her flaxen locks. ‘How are you feeling?’  

Alex crumples on to me, light chuckles accompanying her descent to my chest. ‘Like a parasitic worm who takes and takes from its host vessel.’ I can't help but laugh, causing my head to near split open. ‘Let me get you...’ 

Our alarm splinters thru my cranium more viciously than an ice pic. I wrench the cord out of its socket before sighing in relief at the euphoric silence. 

I hear my life's breaths grow shallow. I open my eyes, finding heat burning in hers. _Really?_ For the first time since I laid eyes on her, the thought of making love to Alexandra Cabot is not priority one (or two). 

‘Don’t go all cavewoman on me,’ I warn as I heave myself up with a groan.  

‘You should’ve thought of that before you went all cave _man_ on me,’ she counters, eyeing the now useless alarm clock.  

I stifle a laugh, recalling the pain the last bout caused. ‘Don't _ever_ insult me again,’ I retort, grinning, before nearly losing my balance as the searing pain surges thru my skull. ‘Ah!’ I cradle myself, fearing my head may explode at any moment.  

I hear rapid footfalls and then feel a hand gently pushing me back onto the bed, the other supporting my head down to the pillows.  

‘Open your mouth.’ I do as asked, the familiar tasting gloop waking my starving taste buds.  

 

Two hours later 

I'm driving us to the court house.  

 _We gave_ _int_ o _our basal_ _urges_ _last night: to celebrate Alex_ _surviving and thriving in her role as prosecutor,_ _to celebrate the fact my life has at least 56,005 supporters_ _, to celebrate Fin, each other..._  

In the cool light of day, we realise our folly. _But we're allowed to celebrate some, after all this shit!_ my passionate brain argues. _Wait and see after today,_ my logical brain counters, fully aware we will be called today _._   

I feel like a rebellious teenager doing the walk of shame after deciding to stay up and out with my crush, the night before major exams. _Wake up Liv!_  

 

We arrive and are escorted in safely; the machine well oiled and executed seamlessly. _For that, I'm eternally_ _grateful_.  

Alex sits in her chair, her back to the room, as it fills with the vetted attendees. _Her trust in me, in Fin, absolute._  

Langan walks in; his slightly gangly stride telling of his nervousness. _Of me_ _? O_ _f Alex_ _?_ _O_ _f this case_ _?_ _I_ _’m_ _unsure._ He feels my eyes on him. He meets my gaze. _I know and in another time, I would kill you for it_. I know he doesn't understand my stare. My aim is purely to make him as uncomfortable as possible. _If you ever touch my Alex again_... 

 _O_ _livia!_ I feel my life staring at me. I ignore her warning. 

Liz entering the room finally interrupts our silent glare-off. We all rise. 

 

After the perfunctory necessities are completed, Liz turns to the defence bench. _K_ _r_ _essler_ _is unfortunately present. Donnelly couldn't_ _release Alex and not him_. ‘The courtroom is yours defence team. Please call your first witness.’ 

Kressler stands with a shit eating grin. I observe my life's shoulders tense slightly as my palms bead with sweat. Neither of us know who he will call first. _Breath, my love. I'm here._  

‘The defence are calling Mr Peter Jones t...’ _What the fuck!_ My heart stops just as my Omega stands, bracing for combat.  

‘ _Objection!_ The people were not informed of this witness,’ Alex growls as the smile on Kressler’s face widens. _The urge to smash his..._  

‘Your Honour, for reasons that will become apparent during his testimony, the witness was given ghost witness privilege,’ he argues seamlessly. _Fucking..._  

The entire courtroom looks to Liz; her expression conveying a displeasure that makes even _my_ lips dry and knees quake. 

‘Ghost witness privilege does _not_ extend to the presiding judge, Mr Kressler. Explain yourself, _now!_ _’_ Liz barks as my Omega remains standing, resolute. 

‘Mr Jones is putting himself at huge risk by being here today...’ My life gestures to object again. 

‘Don't worry Miss Cabot, I'm already there,’ Liz assures her. ‘And Miss Cabot is not, Mr Kressler?’ she retorts, eyeing him sternly.  

‘Mr Jones is the person behind the YouTube video...’ _What the hell is he up to?!_ Alex doesn't object. _Could this work_ _to_ _our_ _advantage_ _?_ I notice Liz's surprise at the lack of objection. 

‘And?’ she cajoles the defence creep to explain further. 

‘As hierarchy has been brought up, _so_ many times...’ he mutters the last few words as though the notions ridiculous. _Seriously?_ I quieten a growl by clawing my palms. ‘...I felt it was time _we_ looked at the structure,’ Kressler states so innocently, every red flag billows in my head. _What is he...?_  

‘Any further objections, Miss Cabot?’ Donnelly offers, surprising everyone. _Careful Liz._  

‘I'm surprised the defence are trying to enter something into evidence that they were so against to begin with,’ she finally speaks. 

‘We're not entering the video. Everybody’s already seen...’ 

‘ _Careful_ , Roger,’ Liz warns with barely concealed disgust. 

‘All we are entering is another _supposed_ Omega's testimony.’ _I bet you are_ _!_ _T_ _his isn't about the YouTube video, the hierarchy or most importantly, the case_ _going forward_ _. This is about_ _sabotaging_ _it_ _!_  

‘How is he in anyway related to this case?’ my life questions astutely. 

‘As soon as you called that conference and said what you said, you opened this door, hunny,’ Kressler argues languidly, enjoying himself. _Fuck! Alex called it before_ _the underling_ _attacked_ _her_ _, before I attacked him, before Liz tried to cover it up._  

‘Kressler, watch your phrasing and tone in my courtroom,’ Liz states calmly, swanning as only an expert in masking their feelings can.  

 _We celebrated too soon_ _,_ I realise as I purposely ignore Fin's brief glance. I take in my Omega's equally swanning form, stood motionless as a statue, waiting for Donnelly's inevitable ruling. 

‘Objection overruled. Mr Kressler, you may call your first witness.’ _Fuck!_  

Kressler steps from behind his desk as the underling is wheeled in to the courtroom. _Oh_ _, for..._ I swallow down my nausea as the court watches him being helped into the witness stand; scars clearly apparent on his face. _Jesus!_  

‘Mr Jones.’ 

‘Call me Peter,’ he utters, making himself sound pathetic to win the sympathy of the jurors. _Christ_ _!_ I dig my nails into my palms to stop myself drawing my weapon and killing this _voyeuristically perverted, would-be-rapist asshole_ _!_  

‘Okay, Peter,’ Kressler says friendly. ‘Can you tell me why you accepted my request considering the potential backlash your bravery may receive?’ 

‘ _Objection_. We've already established he is in no more danger than I,’ my life argues, more to disrupt their flow than with any real weight behind her counter. 

‘Move on, Mr Kressler,’ Liz instructs.  

The sleeze-bag nods his head before approaching his witness. ‘Peter, why did you film that incident?’  

‘Because I wanted to show the world how _fucked_ up the NYPD is.’ _Breathe Olivia!_  

‘Mr Kressler, control your client or I will have him removed,’ Liz warns thru gritted teeth.  

‘Sorry, Your Honour,’ Peter apologises slyly. I inhale shuddering breaths to prevent the waves of nausea consuming me.  

‘Meaning,’ Kressler pushes further. 

‘I'm an Omega. I was rap...’ 

‘ _Objection!_ Relevance?’ Alex stands abruptly, her palms splayed over her desk in anger. 

‘Why film and then upload this particular event?’ Kressler moves on quickly. 

‘Because it shows how _Detective_ Olivia Benson is capable of taking advantage of her station by assaulting an Omega under her charge.’ _Oh God! He's going to weasel his way to his assault, somehow._ Or is his threat even more dangerous _?_ _Alex._  

‘ _Objection!_ I have already stated Detective’s Olivia Benson and Fin Tutuola, and Captain Don Cragen...’  _Good, take_ _t_ _he focus away from us._ ‘... saved me that day,’ Alex retorts, heatedly.  

‘Who says...’  

‘Mr Kressler, I'm one question away from dismissing your witness. Make it count,’ Liz snarls pointedly, interrupting what we all know the underling was about to disclose. _Jesus_ _, I hope he_ _fucking chokes on it_ _!_ _Always the_ _frickin_ _' victim!_  

‘Peter, how come you didn't upload the entire video?’ Kressler questions insidiously. My heart near bursts out of my chest. _The kiss._ _Did we kiss?_  

‘Because, being an Omega, I need leverage,’ Peter replies, looking at me for the first time; his eyes gleeful whilst his features convey fear, a show for his audience. _You sonofabitch!_  

‘Your Honor, please can we play the video?’ _No...no!_  

‘I will watch it in my chambers before I decide whether it can be submitted into evidence,’ Liz says the one thing she can to hold it off, for now _._ Sweat drips down my back at the implications. _Shit!_  

‘Watching the _full_ video will definitely change your opinion of Olivia...’ Peter starts without prompting. 

 _‘Objection!’_ my life barks as Liz turns to the underling with her most deathly stare.  

‘Mr Jones, desist in speaking without a question being asked of you!’ Peter nods his head submissively as Kressler steps forward. 

‘One more thing Peter: what caused your injuries?’ _Fucking..._  

‘Because...’ Peter starts. 

‘Object...’ my life tries.  

 _‘Enough!’_ Liz bellows. 

‘... Olivia Benson beat the _shit_ out of me! Nearly killed m...’ 

‘ _Stewards_ , remove this witness at...’ 

‘... And you...’ he turns to face Donnelly. _He's not going to stop!_  

‘Your Honour,’ Alex howls over the din, silencing everyone, including Peter. My Omega purposely approaches Donnelly, and the witness stand, so the underling is thrown off by her scent. ‘I have questions for this witness.’ 

‘So do I!’ Kressler states, seething as he steps nearer Alex. 

‘You were warned Roger. _Step_ away and _sit down_ or you're back in contempt,’ Liz commands, leaving no room for further rebellion. Kressler slopes back to the defence bench.  

After a deep breath, Donnelly addresses the jury. ‘You will disregard Mr Jones’ outburst. Detective Benson is _not_ on trial here. _A_ _nd_ any further utterances outside of scope from you...’ Liz states, looking squarely at the underling. ‘...will lead to prosecution.’ He nods again, happily. _His aim, beyond sullying my name_ _,_ _i_ _s to be_ _near Alex_ _;_ _in my Omega_ _’_ _s aura._ _Its so clear_ _n_ _ow._  

My life approaches her attacker, noting the dilation of his pupils. I grip my weapon as I wonder whether his disability is a ruse _. It_ _wouldn't_ _be the first time_. 

‘Mr Jones...’ 

‘ _Alexandra_ ,’ he purrs, unable to help himself.  

‘Use Miss Cabot or we’re thru,’ my life warns, knowing Peter wants to continue. 

‘Sorry. Miss Cabot,’ he replies, panting slightly as his body silently pleads for oxygen, to survive the sheer impact Alex's aura has on him. _Stay!_  

‘Your defence attorney called you a _supposed Omega_ suggesting he doesn't believe your status...’ 

‘Objection. A turn of phrase only, ‘ Kressler counters. 

‘So you believe Mr Jones _is_ an Omega then?’ Alex questions, turning sideways to stare at Kressler. His expression is enough. 

‘Miss Cabot!’ Liz states to appear neutral. 

‘Withdrawn.’ My life turns back to the underling. ‘Would you say I'm an Omega?’ she asks, taking an unknown path. _I have every faith in_ _my Alex_ _as_ _her_ _ice queen_ _persona_ _kicks in full force_.  

‘Yes,’ he breathes. 

‘How?’ my life coaxes as she steps in front of the stand. _Close enough, Lex!_  

‘Your scent, your look, your voice even. You're a pedigree. A pure blood,’ Peter effuses, enjoying perusing her as he unwittingly helps our case.  

‘If it is _so_ easy to know what I am: The six jurors that took part in a study by Dr George Huang earlier in proceedings, knew. This study has now extended to over nine thousand independent participants. _All_ have identified my scent as pure blood Omega. The people in the upload knew. My rapists didn't understand why they could rape me, for _hours_... until they left me, tied down, whilst they searched for liquids, to quench their morbid thirst. If they _all_ knew, physiologically, how come your own defence attorney isn't sure whether you're an Omega?’ Alex asks the question so effectively, there is no way a counter can come because of the link back to this case, _her case_.  

‘I...’ Peter stutters, his mind muddled by the lengthy question and Alex's intoxicating scent.  

‘And if you were an Omega, surely somebody, out of those tens of people (without conscience) assaulting both Detective Olivia Benson and myself, would have begun assaulting you because of the sheer fact you are a _supposed_ Omega?’ My life expertly breaks down every vestige of integrity he may have possessed in the eyes of the jury.  

He glances at me as sweat begins rolling down his forehead. I try not to smile at his downfall. My blood runs cold when he smirks at me. _A_ _le_ _x!_  

It happens in slow motion but only takes seconds. Peter lurches forward towards my Omega. He grabs a fist full of her hair before smashing her face against the stand.  

After subduing her slightly, he wrestles Alex into the box with him and proceeds to trap her between the front of the stand and his body, pushed into the back of her; a hand pinning her wrists behind her back as the other holds a knife to her throat.  

 _Jesus fucking, FUCK!_ my head screams as I realise I've moved inside the attorney aisle way and am now pointing my weapon at the _fucking_ sonofabitch’s head. Fin mirrors my actions. 

The rest of the courtroom, including the useless stewards, remain frozen. 

‘Don't come any closer Olivia or I will kill her,’ Peter threatens as Alex's eyes plead with mine. _I'll save you, my love._ ‘And you, _Alpha_ _queen_ _bitch_ , step down and join the commoners,’ he demands, glaring at Donnelly. Liz does as asked. _Strange_. ‘Everybody else, stay calm and this'll be over soon.’ 

Then something even more worrying happens. The stewards. _The fucking stewards_ _point their guns at us_ _!_ ‘Lower your weapons, Detectives,’ one of them commands evenly. _God, no,_ _Jesus_ _fucking Christ. No!_ _George!_ _The nightmare.._  

‘Derek,’ Liz states calmly. ‘Don't do this. You'll be an accessory to...’ 

‘Like that bitch was with Charlie,’ the head steward counters, naming the Mayor’s son who was gunned down by the sniper. 

‘That wasn't her....’ 

‘Shut up _everybody!’_ Peter yells as I take in my life; her face a wretched mess of torment and blood. 'Strip Alexandra. Everything. For me,' he stage whispers, releasing her wrists.  _Please!_ _God!_  My Omega's eyes turn hollow, distant, detached, as she begins unbuttoning her pants.

‘Peter, what do you want?’ I try desperately, as one of the stewards hits me with the butt of his gun, disarming me, as I meet the floor. _Fucking.._ _._ _No!_  

‘Oh Olivia, I have what I want,’ he gasps victoriously as he unzips his pants. ‘ _My_ beautiful Alexandra,’ he adds, moaning as he forces himself inside her; her wrists back in his vice like grip, leaving my life utterly at his mercy.

‘ _No!_ ’ bursts thru my gritted teeth. I stare between Fin and Donnelly, utterly disbelieving this is happening, as the _sick bastard_ comes for the first time. I retch helplessly as Peter continues to rape my Omega. _My_ _life_ _!_  

I notice he's released Alex's wrists, his animal thirst for searing pleasure completely overtaking him.  _Alex!_ I suddenly jump up from my crouched position on the floor, Fin following my lead. I grab Derek's weapon and smack him in the face with it, sending him sprawling. His buddies aren't quite so bent: dropping their weapons instantly and raising their hands in submission to a higher Alpha.  

 _Alex_ _!_ I stalk towards the stand, eyeing the knife at her throat as Peter focuses entirely on his next orgasm. I avoid my life's eyes, my mind needing to be entirely logical in these next few moments. I aim my gun but Peter presses his knife into my Omega’s throat, forcing Alex to ‘cover’ him; his fevered thrusts making his weapon perilous. 

‘ _Noooo!’_  

 

‘Liv? Liv!’  

 _Fucking Christ!_  

‘Liv? Hey?’ 

 _My life..._  

A sharp jab makes me look up, Fin's features coming into focus. I grab him. 

‘Fin... _Alex_... My _God!_ ’ I stress as I climb him to get to my unsteady feet.  

‘Hey, _Liv!_ Just breathe for me, ‘kay?’ Fin asks, his arms holding me up. 

My head whips to Alex’s chair. _What?!_ My life is standing in front of her desk, packing her bag as she watches us covertly out of the corner of her eye. _She's clothed,_ _she’s_ _packing up,_ _she's_ _unharmed_ _?_ I turn to the witness stand, then the room, searching for _him_.  

‘He's gone. Meg got him good. He's gone, Liv,’ he reassures me, knowing I'm having some form of panic attack or flashback. ‘She's safe. You’re safe. Nothin’ bad happened just now, okay?’ His words are like warm honey to my soul. _Fin_ _! Lex! Safe!_  

I finally take in the emptying room as my panting breaths begin to subside. _Recess_ _._ I feel eyes on me. My skin crawls at the scene I've no doubt caused. ‘George...' the last thing I utter before darkness. 


	59. One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Olivia gain a deeper understanding.
> 
> Rating: Mature Content

I open my eyes as soon as consciousness and adrenaline jolt thru me. I try to get up, my head swimming with images of _my Omega... my_ _life..._ _my world..._  

I feel numerous hands push me down, under the surface. _No!_ _Where? Who..?_ _Lex_ _?!_ I fight them. I fight _all_ _of them_. ‘ _Al_...!’ I half scream before lips crush mine, focusing my every fibre on the intoxicating taste of.... _Alex!_ I grip her to me. I grip her _so_ tightly. I fear I'll drown without her aura, her touch, her taste... _hot chocolate_ _..._  

She tears her mouth from mine. ‘Liv?’ _I hear her, I feel her..._ I clutch her even closer as hands try to rip her away from me. _No!_ ‘Stop guys,’ Alex breathes against my cheek, my arms unyielding in their hold of her.  

‘Stop! No..! _Please!_ _’_ I scream, knowing pull people, _rapists_ , are grabbing for her, maybe even for me... _I have to save her. I have to save you. I won't let_ _you_ _go!_ _Ever!_  

‘Liv?’ Alex calls from somewhere far away. 

‘ _Alex?! Lex_ _..._ _?!! God,_ _please_ _..._ _! Don't_ _...’_  

‘This isn't working,’ says a familiar male voice before something pricks my ar... 

 

I hear distant murmurs as my body awakens once more. I’m terrified to open my eyes, knowing in my heart of hearts my life is... _d_ _ead_. Tears start to rivet down my cheeks as I remember. 

‘My Alpha.’ _Am I dreaming? Are we dead?_ ‘My life, open your eyes,’ she coaxes, her voice strained with raw emotion and concern. _No_ _..._ _you're dead._ _He killed y..._ ‘Liv? _Please_ darling. Open your eyes,’ she stresses now as her hands cup and stroke my face. _Am I in heaven?_ ‘ _Please_ ,’ Alex begs, tears audibly thickening in the back of her throat. _No, Lex wouldn’t_ _be_ _cry_ _ing_ _in heaven...._ _H_ _ell!_ I sit up sharply, my left shoulder connecting with something, almost knocking it over. I feel the pinch and hear the clank of cuffs. My eyes fly open in shock. I look down, finding my wrists tethered to a table. _What the f..?_  

A figure immediately comes forward, releasing me. _Fin!_ ‘The doc didn't want you pullin’ your IV out.’ _IV?_  

‘Or crushing me to death!’ _I hear her_... 

‘Lex?’ I call, even though my eyes inform me, my life is sat right beside me.  

‘I'm here, sweetie,’ my Omega assures me as she links her fingers with mine. 

My gaze travels from her nails, to her fingers, hand, wrist, arm, shoulder, neck, to every strand of her hair before I breathe again. ‘You're _real?’_ I ask cautiously, not believing it. ‘You're _here_ with me?’ I daren't shut my eyes in case she disappears.  

‘I'm here, I'm alive and so are you,’ Alex answers as her free hand plays with the hair at my nape. _I feel her_ _._ _I see her._ I squeeze her fingers. 

‘Did I hurt you?’ I ask suddenly. 

‘No,’ my life replies, her damp eyes scanning my face, concern furrowing her brow. 

‘Did I stand or handle my weapon in any way?’ I ask, wondering why I was cuffed. _Did_ _Liz_ _place me in contempt of court_ _?_ My body trembles as sweat drips down my back. _Fucking failed_ _..._ _I've ru_ _ined the case_ _;_ _my_ _Omega’s_ _case! Way to_ _fucking_ _go,_ _Olivia_ _!_  

‘Liv? Just breathe for me...’ Alex suggests, aware of my renewed anxiety. I breathe. ‘No, you were sat down the entire time.’ _What?_ ‘What happened, sweetie?’  

‘What?’ I search her cloudy blues. ‘I didn't storm the attorney circle and aim my gun at _him_? At anyone?’ 

‘No, my Alpha. I promise,’ my life stresses determinedly as her fingers halt their stroking. _Does that mean...?!_  

‘Did he... Did he... you...?’ I ask, terrified, as I peruse her features for injuries. _Neither her neck_ _n_ _or_ _her_ _forehead show_ _signs of trauma_. _Was_ _it_ _a nightmare_ _?_ _Is this a dream?_  

My life moves closer to rest her brow against mine. ‘No, h-he didn't touch me. I _destroyed_ the _fucker!’_ My heart stops. ‘I showed the jury what a psychotic, lying _bastard_ he is,’ my Omega continues. ‘As I was finishing up, you screamed ‘No’,’ Alex explains, dancing her fingers up and down the back of my neck. _Lex!_ ‘What happened, sweetie? Please tell me?’  

‘I... I saw _him_... him r-raping you on the stand... whilst the stewards... th... they turned on us...’ I utter as tears fill my eyes. ‘I-I... couldn’t... save... you!’ 

‘Oh, Liv,’ my life breathes into my hair as she cradles me in her arms. 

 

Sometime later, I wake on my back again, this time on a couch. I move my wrists, finding them uncuffed. I sit up, my heart hammering until my gaze settles on my Omega; her head leaning against the arm, the rest of her body sat on the floor to give me room to stretch out. We're alone. It's eerie yet comforting. _Where are we?_  

I turn back to Alex, finding her cloudy blue orbs gazing at me. She lifts her head, the concern I put there still gleaming in her eyes.  

‘Sweetie, please don't look at me like that,’ I request softly, my heart constricting that I'm causing her this pain.  

‘How am I meant to look at the woman I love?’ she counters, reaching up to grasp my hand. I don't know what to say.  

After several minutes, when I still don't reply, my life continues, ‘Liv, George thinks you might be suffering from PTSD.’ I close my eyes, knowing. ‘But he wants to properly assess you before making a formal diagnosis.’  

Anger suddenly riots thru my body. ‘Why?’ I near shout. Alex keeps her hand firmly intertwined with mine as I move to stand.  

‘Stay down!’ she growls, warning me. I acquiesce immediately. 

‘Why, Lex?’ I ask again, at a loss as to why I’m suffering while my Omega remains _so_ strong, _even_ after all she's suffered. ‘Why am I experiencing... _this_ , when I've only... and you...?’ 

‘Don't,’ Alex interrupts me. ‘Don't _ever_ minimise what you've been thru again! _Ever!_ ’ Tears form and begin to rivet down her exquisite features.  

I immediately cup her face. ‘I'm sorry, sweetie. _God!_ I'm _so_ sorry!’ I repeat as I nuzzle her cheek; _h_ _ating_ myself for the pain, the misery, _I'm_ causing. ‘Did I ruin your..?’  

My life pulls away from me to gaze into my bronze orbs. ‘No. You _didn't_ ruin a thing,’ Alex states evenly; each syllable weighted to spear her message home. ‘As I said, I’d just finished my cross when you shouted. It was nearly impossible not to run to you...’ 

‘Don't,’ I say this time, mirroring my Omega. ‘I love you so much,’ I whisper into her beautiful hair as mind-numbing relief floods me. 

‘I'm so sorry Liv,’ Alex continues, her body beginning to shudder and tremble against mine as her emotions consume her.  

I move her until she's straddling my lap, her head nestled deeply into my shoulder as my heart breaks at her anguish. ‘Alex...’  

‘ _Everything_ _._ All the emotions you're feeling... are because of me...’ my life mumbles into my neck as she struggles to breathe thru her tears. 

‘My Omega,’ I say quietly, knowing my dominance will make her stop and listen. ‘I don't _care_ if your hormones make me sprout hairy balls and a _penis_ _!_ I'm not going _anywhere_ _!_ ’ I feel her arms tighten around me; her grasp so desperate, I fear my heart will die. ‘When I thought... The thought of living without... You are my _everything_ ,’ I stress, _needing_ my life to hear me.  

‘But... my hormones are making you feel what I’m feeling... _deep_ inside. When I-I... was in front of that... of _him_... I visualised him grabbing me... r-raping me... killing me. I... You... you _experience_ the emotional fallout of what I think and feel...’ my life gasps, beating herself blue with guilt. 

‘No,’ I challenge her thoughts. ‘When I was going thru withdrawal, I had a nightmare...’ 

‘... the court attendees attacked me; forced you to..,’ my life interrupts me. _Oh God! Alex!_ I hug her closer still. ‘I went thru withdrawal too,’ she admits, her face still firmly buried into my neck. ‘It _scares_ me...’  

‘...how connected we are?’ I finish for her. I feel her nod into my skin. 

‘But you... you always experience it worse... _so_ much worse. _Today_... I-I don't understand it,’ Alex sniffs. ‘It's like you're taking all the tortured parts of me... to protect me,’ my life whispers as she lifts her head to look into my eyes. I lose myself in her. 

‘I don't understand it but I'd suffer it _every_ _single_ day for the rest of my life to spare you a second more torment,’ I utter softly, my knuckle grazing her cheekbone as renewed tears flood her hollows. 

A whimper escapes her lips, hating that our statues are governing our suffering. ‘I can't take this; knowing you're experiencing _everything_ I feel. I just...’ my Omega collapses into me, her guilt rioting thru me as I embrace her.

 _I love you. This isn't your fault. I chose to be here_. _I choose to remain here_. 

 

An unknown amount of time later, the door to our room opens. Seeing Huang fills me with warmth and a strange kind of comfort.  

‘George,’ I say, unwrapping myself from Alex to welcome him. ‘Thank you, as always.’ 

‘No problem Olivia,’ he replies, humble. ‘Ah, I think we need to talk...’ he states ominously. 

‘I know. PTSD,’ I finish for him. Huang smiles at my Omega briefly. 

‘Well yes but not at this moment.’ My anxiety skyrockets again. _T_ _he unknown_ _AND the known._ _What's_ _coming_ _?_ ‘You've been called by the defence...’ he looks at his watch. ‘Actually, five minutes ago.’ George evaluates me. ‘You’re in no fit state...’  

‘But what happens if I don't?’  

‘They'll call me,’ Alex interjects. 

‘And with Alex on the stand instead of you; your presence would be considered odd at best,’ Huang finishes. _Fuck!_  

 _I either take the stand_ _,_ _uptight, on edge_ _,_ _exhausted and potentially ruin the case or kill someone_ _;_ _or_ _my life takes the stand without my protection_ _,_ _leaving her vulnerable_ _to attack,_ _to being_ _killed._  

I look at my Omega, stood beside me, her eyes mirroring my feelings. ‘When will it  _stop?_ ’ I whisper the haunting question, my shoulders bowing under the sheer...  

‘I'm causing...’  

‘Transitionin’s gotta stop _this!_ _’_ Fin speaks for the first time since entering with Huang. 

I gaze at Alex as she leans closer to me. _No._

I look up to see a quizzical look cross Huang's features. _He doesn’t know._ ‘We need to talk to...’ I almost _out_ Donnelly in my head-haze.  

‘There’s no time Liv. That defence dick threatened to force his way in here if you don’t take the stand in the next...’ Fin checks his watch. ‘Thirty seconds.’ 

I feel the blood drain from my face as I move to stand up. ‘No, Liv!’ my life grabs at my shirt. ‘You’re not well!’ she continues as she’s forced to rise with me.  

I turn and cradle her face in my hands. ‘My love,’ I say, my voice wavering. ‘We don’t have a choice. I’ll go even more crazy thinking of you, _alone,_ in that courtroom.’ The expression in her eyes wrenches my heart and kills my soul. 

 _Kressler_ _is_ _purposely..._  

‘I know. But I _can’t_ put your life at risk. There's no choice ,’ I whisper breathlessly before I kiss her to stem further argument. ‘I'm doing this.’  

Seconds later, we follow Fin back to the courtroom.  


	60. Defence: Second Witness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Olivia take the stand?  
> Will she survive it without shooting someone and/or ruining the case?
> 
> Rating: Mature Content

Just as we're about to enter, Alex tugs on my sleeve. I turn to her quickly. Her sharp, iridescent eyes spear mine. ‘Let me save you this time,’ she near whispers, letting go of my shirt before anyone notices.  

My heart batters my ribcage as she walks past me, into the courtroom. _Shit, this is it!_ Moments later, a court liaison officer calls me in. _Breathe._  

I enter the Supreme Courtroom as though for the first time. I feel incredibly self conscious as every person in the room turns to stare at the crazy detective who lost it earlier; the gang rape victim.  

I focus firstly on Fin, _more neutral than Huang, in the eyes of the jury_ _,_ and then, strangely, on Trevor Langan, _to_ _galvanize_ _my shak_ _y_ _confidence into anger_. _Anger, I can work with._   

I somehow make it to the stand without collapsing or tripping over myself. The face plant invades my thoughts. I cough to stop a nervous smile crossing my lips. _Frickin_ _’ klutz!_  

 _Concentrate Olivia!_ comes my life's heated warning.  

 _Wake up Liv!_ I self chastise as I'm sworn in. 

Unfortunately, Kressler stands up. I clamp my palms between my thighs to monitor and control my reactions.  

‘Please can the witness state her name for the court,’ he requests, even though every _single_ person knows who I am and has already heard my name, as I was summoned. _Draw it out, you little shit._  

‘Olivia Benson, Detective with the Sixteenth Precinct, Special Victims Unit,’ I respond, practiced in the ways of court and this weasel.  

‘Detective Benson...’ he pauses as though expecting me to offer him the chance to address me as Olivia. _Not a fucking chance_ _._ ‘...I do hope you're feeling better after your...’ 

‘Objection! Combative,’ my Omega chimes at once. 

‘Christ, Miss Cabot! I was just welcoming our defence witness and asking after her welfare,’ Kressler sighs as though Alex were stupid, inexperienced, hot headed. 

‘I'm fine, Roger,’ I state, more to piss him off and save Alex face than to answer his initial question.  

The sails blown out of him, Kressler moves on. I feel some semblance of confidence slowly creep back into my core.    

‘How long have you been in post?’ 

‘Four years,’ I answer, clipped and succinctly.  

‘And how many times have you been a victim’s handler?’ _Where's he...?_  

 _Concentrate Liv!_ comes Alex's mental chatter once again. 

 _Breathe_. ‘Hundreds of times,’ I respond; my detective persona masking my exhaustion and unease. 

‘How long can a victim expect to have your support as their handler? Kressler slyly works his direction. I know exactly where he's going now. 

‘It depends on the victim, whether their case goes to court, whether they want to attend court...’ I answer broadly to avoid cornering myself. 

‘I’ll tell you,’ he states triumphantly, making my palms sweat as he strides to his desk to pick up some papers. ‘Exhibit 71 _,_ Your Honour,’ Kressler identifies for Donnelly’s benefit, before waving them in front of me. ‘I have your victim handler log sheets.’ _How the fuck did you get those?!_ He makes a point of riffling thru them to show the jury just how much evidence he has. ‘Two independent verifier's concluded you ‘handled’ ( _nice choice of wording, you creep_ ) any given victim for an average of four weeks over all, with a maximum of six weeks and a minimum of 15 minutes,’ he pauses for effect. ‘Therefore, it’s fair to surmise you carry most of your victim’s to trial and have _never_ supported a survivor for more than six weeks? Yes?’ I give him a long, cold stare; us both knowing I'd throttle him if we were alone.  

 _Breathe, Liv... Please_. I breathe. 

‘I can't answer that as I've not been thru the figures myself.’  

 _Smooth, my Alpha._  

 _Stop it Lex!_ I clench my thighs for _other_ reasons... 

‘Okay, but as two independent adjudicators have verified it, I'll be taking this as fact,’ Kressler argues, his surprise at me not rolling over, painfully evident.  

‘Objection! These independent adjudicators have not been verified by the prosecution and so cannot be taken as fact,’ my life counters immediately.  

 _Smooth, my Omega._ Her sharp inhale is enough. _I'll_ _Stop_. 

‘Sustained. For the sake of time and sanity counsellor, move on,’ Donnelly helpfully interjects. 

‘How did you come to meet Miss Cabot?’ _Here we go_. 

‘Myself and Detective Stabler attended Bellevue on the morning of December 18th last year, after receiving a call reporting a possible sex crime,’ I respond factually. 

‘Possible?’ Kressler goads. 

‘Definite; once we were notified of Miss Cabot's rape kit, other considerable injuries and state on discovery,’ I voice firmly, though my mouth feels desert parched and alien to my own face, whilst speaking these words. I squeeze my thighs tighter. 

‘And what was her... Miss Cabot's state on discovery?’ Kressler continues down an unclear path. _I hate_ _you_. 

‘Objection,’ my life rises again. I find my eyes taking in the sight of her in full attorney mode, from this angle, for the first time. _Christ_ _,_ _you_ _ar_ _e beautiful_ _!_ my head screams as I evert my gaze. _Sorry_. It takes Alex a moment to remember her reason for challenging the defence. ‘Detective Benson cannot be asked to recount a scene she, herself, was not privy to.’ _Thank god!_  

‘Is attending a victim’s home common practice whilst handling them?’ _Fucking stop with the sexual_ _innuendos_ _you creep!_ _Breathe._ I inhale and exhale sharply. I feel cloudy blue orbs on me. I don't meet them. 

‘Yes.' 

‘Without your partner?’ Kressler probes further. I allow my nails to bite into the scar tissue of my battered palms.  

‘No, but due to my former partner’s inability to control himself, it was deemed best,’ I say before instantly regretting it.  

‘But you attended Miss Cabot’s home, unaccompanied by your partner, _before_ he attacked her. Explain this,’ Kressler steps back, admiring his handy work as I attempt to stop my internal squirming becoming visible. _Calm down, Olivia. One... two..._  

‘I followed my Captain's orders to be Miss Cabot's sole handler for the duration of this case. That is why I attended Miss Cabot's home, alone.’ 

’Captain Donald Cragen?’ 

‘Yes.’ 

‘And why were you ordered to be Miss Cabot's sole handler?’  

I knew this question was coming. I could see it forming in his mind, minutes before his mouth voiced it. It's one element Alex and I never discussed. I know to look at my life now would convey a level of intimacy that would leave us vulnerable. Do I disclose her grandmother's case, as she herself had done at the conference, or is this my Omega’s information to impart? _Jesus Don!_ I've never loathed my Cap's decision more _._  

 _Tell the truth Liv._  

‘Because of her hierarchical status,’ I state instead, avoiding breaching Alex's confidentiality. 

‘Which is?’ _Don't play with me_ , I warn, my message clear to the snivelling weasel in front of me.  

‘Pure blood Omega.’ 

‘And you know this..?’  

‘I don't see the defence team’s purpose in wasting the courts time in asking half questions already answered,’ Alex argues, her frustration overshadowing her anxiety.  

‘I’m trying to ascertain whether Detective Benson's relationship with Miss Cabot is strictly professional,’ Kressler confesses boldly as the entire courtroom audibly silences. _Fuck!_  

We both remain mute, not wishing to arouse undue suspicion. 

‘Well Detective Benson?’ he cajoles. 

‘I don't believe an _actual_ question has been asked,’ my life counters, knowing the noose is growing steadily tighter around our necks. Every fibre of my being yearns to gaze at my Omega. It takes all my strength not to.  

‘When Miss Cabot demonstrated how intoxicating she is via that experiment with Doctor...’ he has to look down at his notes. I want to tear out his jugular. _Bastard!_ ‘... Huang, which camp would you say you stand in?’ 

‘Is Mr Kressler expecting Detective Benson to discuss her sexuality?’ Alex asks, incredulous.  

‘Sustained,’ Liz obliges. 

‘The reason I ask this is because its rare you see a detective, naked, on top of a traumatised victim. Let _alone_ one she is handling for a separate, sexual offence,’ Kressler reels off before anyone can stop him.  

‘It is also rare, as already proven in this courtroom, to be in the presence of a pure blood Omega,’ I snarl back.  

 _Christ_ _, Liv!_ Alex exclaims as my thighs clamp against the heat radiating thru my core.  

‘I wish to stress that Detective Olivia Benson is not on trial here. I will repeat one _final_ time, that besides Former Detective Elliot Stabler, the NYPD have handled my case, myself, with the utmost respect. And _speaking_ of respect, can the court remind the defence team that Detective Benson is _their_ witness!’ Every pull person in the courtroom is momentarily transfixed by Alex's passionate and determined plea. _Jesus!_ I lower my eyes to combat this innate reaction.  

‘Indeed Miss Cabot. Roger, tread carefully,’ Donnelly warns evenly, recovering almost as quickly as I do. 

Kressler clears his throat in hopes of dampening his own arousal. _Fucking creep!_ ‘Detective Benson, do you know the Supreme Courthouse restrooms have hidden recording devices for security purposes?’ My heart stops, my lungs collapse; my palms and back slick with sweat. _Fucking... Breathe. One... two..._  

 _Fuck!_ my Omega’s mind bellows. _He knows_. 

Several moments later, Alex stands. ‘If that's the case, these courts are in violation of public privacy and decency,’ she tries, her ice mask unflappable. _Remarkable_.  

‘Calm down Miss Cabot,’ Kressler taunts, goading our ire. ‘They're not in the stalls.’ 

‘If this is the case Mr Kressler, did you put them there?’ _How did I ever hate Liz?_ ‘Because I have worked in this building for over thirty years and I have _never_ been informed,’ Donnelly retorts scathingly. 

Kressler suddenly seems possessed, so taken by his line of questioning, that he won't be perturbed. He jolts forward, towards me, towards Liz. ‘I need to show you something,’ I half expect him to expose himself; his abrupt excitement utterly disconcerting. I unclasp my weapon. 

He reaches into his pants pocket. _Shit!_ I unholster my piece. Kressler retrieves the television remote. _Fuck!_ The screen illuminates. 

‘ _Objection!_ _’_ my life howls as she walks around her desk. ‘Whatever Mr Kressler is about to show us, is _not_ entered into evidence!’  

‘Sustained! Roger, _desist_ in trying to enter unverified evidence!’ Donnelly orders as Kressler looks between the three of us, his face draw in a devilish smile. 

‘It's interesting how mentioning restroom footage gets the _three_ of you _so_ hot under the collar,’ he utters, hinting not so subtly at a personal connection between us. I can't stop myself glancing at the jury. Their expressions make my soul freeze over. _Fucking bastard!_  

 _Liv._ My nails cut deeper into my left palm. 

The courtroom takes a breath before Liz addresses us. ‘I find it abhorrent that this case has turned into a circus of suspicion, suggestion and innuendo.’ She scans each juror in turn. ‘Lest we forget why we are _actually_ here!’ Donnelly rests her heavy gaze on Kressler. ‘I've had _quite_ enough of this! Show us the footage,’ she demands, shocking the entire courtroom. _No!_ I tighten my grip on my gun. 

 _Don't. Please Liv..._ I feel Alex's insides shudder, though her body remains ramrod straight. My own nausea threatens to choke me. _Breathe!_ I glance at Fin; his features murderous. _Jesus Donnelly!_  

But then something strange happens; Kressler’s bolster completely and utterly implodes.  

‘Press play, Roger,’ Liz goads him, her voice confident and knowing. Kressler sinks into himself. ‘Press it, Roger. _Now!_ ’ He does. The screen reveals an unknown bathroom; the camera, a birds eye view.  

 _He was bluffing!_ It takes every single ounce of will power I possess to stop my body collapsing on the floor of the stand. I feel cloudy blue orbs on me as my eyes swim with relief. _Breathe. Everything’s okay. Breathe!_  

 _We're okay, my Alpha._  

 _How are you still standing?_  

 _Because you're taking every hit, my darling._  

‘Mr Kressler, what is this?’  

 _He_ _’_ _d hoped threatening to out our sex in the court restroom, by flashing up images of an unknown bathroom, would force us to disclose our relationship._ _Leading to a mistrial, the release of all three animals and least importantly, insurmountable damage to our careers_ , My mind finds clarity; then as immediately, seething rage.  

 _Don't Liv, please!_  

‘It's, uh... it's...’ Kressler stammers, his sting operation in tatters.  

‘Stewards, place Mr Kressler in contempt, pending an investigation into this violation of privacy and attempted defamation of character,’ Donnelly commands, requiring utter obedience.  

‘Oh, come _on!_ Don’t you all _see_ it!?’ Kressler suddenly hollows. _Get him out of here!_ ‘They're _fucking_ , right under our noses and this bitch is allowing it to happen!’ he continues, gesturing at Liz.  

‘Just _stop_ , Roger!’ Alex suggests dismissively, adding fire to Kressler’s craziness.  

‘I'm gonna...’ he makes for my life. As I move to jump out of the box, Alex raises her hand, halting my advance. _Alex?!_  

 _Liv!_ _Don’t_ _kill_ _him!_ ‘What are you going to do Roger?’ she goads him as the court looks on, transfixed by this development.  

Kressler grabs hold of my life, knowing this will be his last opportunity to touch her. ‘What I should’ve done the moment I saw you!’ he snarls, thrusting a hand inside her blouse. _No!_  

Before I can reach her, I see movement out of the corner of my eye. _Fuck!_ Langan stampedes toward them. _No!_  

‘Stop!’ I howl as I aim my weapon; Fin aiming his the other side of them.  

The two men sandwich my Omega; a three person mass of undulating heat, desire and trauma. _No_ _!_ _Jesus fucking..._ My arms noticeably shake as I realise I can't get a clean shot. 

Then, shock riots thru me as Langan grabs Kressler by his shirt and proceeds to drag him to the stewards. ‘Take him, you useless _pricks!’_  

Once Kressler is removed, the courtroom is silent but for the heavy breathing of my now untouched Omega and Langan. I lower my weapon as I try to comprehend what has just happened; watching my life rearrange her clothing. _Alex?_ _I..._  

 _Don't Liv._  

‘Recess?’ Donnelly breaks the silence.  

My life turns to me before shaking her head in answer. ‘If I leave now, I won’t return,’ she whispers, shakily. _My love._  

 _Please, don't be nice to me, my Alpha._ _.._ _Remember where we are._  

Alex turns to Langan to hide our inner thoughts. She nods in thanks, once, before stepping behind her desk to await round two.  


	61. Defence: Second Witness Continued

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trial(s) go on...
> 
> Rating: Mature Content

I try to quieten my racing mind but it's speeding at a hundred miles an hour... _Langan_ _saved_ _my Omega..._ _Fucking_ _Kressler_ _..._ _Where was Liz.._ _?_ _Calm the hell down..._ _Why didn't I grab him?_ _The fucking_ _stewar_ _..._ _Breathe..._ _He... Alex..._ _Shit!_  

 _LIV!_ My head snaps up, realising I'm still standing in the middle of the attorney aisle way. I gaze into her eyes. _L_ _ook_ _at anyone but_ _me!_ I turn away, knowing my face is completely open and unmasked. _Get_ _back in the stand,_ my life orders; her leading nature clearing my frozen mind.  

Stepping into the box, I take a deep breath before settling my eyes on her rescuer/abuser. Langan stands tall; more confident. _He's proven himself_ _..._ _to an extent,_ I add quickly, not trusting anyone besides _my_ pack.  

‘Detective Benson, would you like some water?’ _Yes!_  

‘No.’  

‘Are you okay for me to continue?’  

‘ _Yes!’_ I bark more viciously than intended. _Shit! Calm down Olivia!_  

 _He didn't hurt me, Liv. You are still and will forever be my Alpha. Trevor’s actions_ _d_ _on't change that..._ my life whispers into my soul. A low whimper escapes my lips at this most heart-warming of utterances. I gaze everywhere but at _my_ Omega. I stuff my palms between my thighs once more.  

‘In that case, can you clarify, in your own words, how Mr Jones came by his extensive injuries,’ Langan enters the ring with both barrels blazing. _Fuck!_ My panic attack blocked out this element of Alex's argument. 

 _Whilst in custody_ _overnight_ _._ _.._ _Beaten up by cell mates..._ my life feeds me. 

‘He was found in that state after being placed in a cell with other suspects overnight,’ I answer, lying my conscience away.  

‘And why was he placed in a cell with other suspects? He wasn't under arrest at the time,’ Langan digs deeper. _Not a friend._   

‘Objection. Relevance?’ Alex challenges. 

‘I’m simply trying to gauge Detective Benson's integrity; given Mr Jones filmed her, and _you_ , being raped,’ he counters, insidiously, looking at _my_ Omega. I bite my lip to stop a growl becoming audible.  

 _Liv._ Inhale. Exhale. 

‘Detective Benson has an outstanding record with the NYPD...’ my life argues emotionlessly; ice mask infallible.  

‘So outstanding that she has healing abrasions on her knuckles?’ _Fuck!_   

‘Give me strength!’ Liz voices, her frustration at the attorney's tit-for-tat obvious. ‘Why are we discussing Detective Benson’s hands and not the actual case?’  

I feel compelled to explain myself, knowing to leave Langan's insinuation hanging may damage Alex's case. ‘He was further arrested after admitting to stalking Miss Cabot,’ I supply; _anything_ to get away from the subject of my knuckles.  

‘Stalking?’ Langan clarifies. 

‘Yes.’ 

‘Stalking doesn't lead to automatic arrest...’ _It fu_ _c_ _king well should!_ _Especially with a follow up attempted rape._ _.._  

 _Liv! Please..._  

‘Mr Jones requested our protection.’ 

‘From what?’ Langan takes the bait. 

‘The mob outside.’ 

‘Ah. The same mob you and Miss Cabot require protection from? They seem to _follow_ you around,’ Trevor twists the knife. My heart turns to stone as my face remains professionally unanimated. _Now you've_ _piss me off..._  

‘Have you _seen_ the YouTube video?’ I state evenly. 

‘Yes, but...’ 

 _Liv!_  

‘No buts. Miss Cabot and I were _assaulted_ because tens of people decided to override their conscience and _rape_ us!’ I own the circumstances before he does. ‘Every _single_ day, I have to stop _pervert_ s assaulting...’ _My_ _Omega_. ‘...Miss Cabot.’ My message isn't lost on the defence attorney. ‘ _That_ is how I get these scrapes,’ I finish, raising my hands to solidify my point. 

 _Magnificent_. This one acknowledgement from my life, spurs my confidence and stokes my molten core. _Olivia_ _, behave._  

I stare Langan down, allowing the heavy silence to speak for itself _._ _I know_. He clears his throat self consciously. 

‘You say you are Miss Cabot's sole handler?’ he changes tack. My nerves heighten. 

‘Yes.’ 

‘Then why is Detective Tutuola present at all times?’  

‘Is the defence team, er, Mr Langan...’ _Clever_ '... _actually_ going to broach the matter of this case or just continue skirting round it due to a lack of counter arguments to the people's evidence?’ Alex’s ingenuity shines thru; her frustration evident. _Jesus Alex!_ my head can't help screaming, as I try to dampen my arousal. 

 _Olivia, please!_ I relent, allowing my nails to finally bite into my palms. 

‘Agreed. Get to it Mr Langan,’ Liz interjects.  

‘Okay. Why did Miss Cabot become her own attorney? _’ I wasn't_ _expecting_ _that_. 

‘Objection. Mr Langan is asking for third party hearsay,’ my Omega immediately rebuttals. 

Langan raises his arms slightly in frustration. Before Liz can warn him, he puts his hands down in apology. He takes a breath. ‘Detective Benson,’ he says, drawing my attention once more. ‘What happened to Detective Stabler’s face?’ _Fuck!_  

 _Breathe Liv._  

‘His face?’ I reflect back, playing dumb. 

‘Yes,’ Langan presses. 

‘Again, relevance?’ my life comes to my defence once more. 

‘ _Men_ in Detective Benson’s proximity appear to end up being beaten, and she is the only person linking Mr Jones and Detective Stabler, with the injuries to show for it,’ Langan baits heatedly as Alex stalks round her desk.  

‘Your Honour, can I approach?’ Liz gestures for both attorney's as I try to remain seated in the stand; within three feet of a man I _long_ to ruin. To add to my hit list. I clamp my thighs shut to stop my fists clenching.  

After several minutes of increasingly heated debate, Langan steps forward, victorious. _Shit!_  

‘Detective, please answer the question,’ he cajoles as my anger spikes. I glance at my helpless Omega, stood leaning over her desk, biting her lip unconsciously as I flounder. 

 _Admit to_ _Stabler_ _to_ _distract from the underling_ , her sharp mind suggests. 

 _Everything about him?_  

 _Yes_ _, my Alpha._  

‘I...’ _Where will this leave you if I admit_ _it_ _?_  

 _Stabler_ ' _s_ _not pressing charges and has fully admitted to assaulting me._  

‘I did punch my former partner after he assaulted our case victim,’ I confess, sweat dripping down my back in fear of this going wrong. 

‘Case victim being..?’ 

‘Miss Cabot,’ I answer, nodding my head. 

‘So you admit to physically assaulting Detective Stabler after he sexually assaulted Miss Cabot?’ Langan asks, for clarity. 

‘Yes, like you did... Mr Kressler,’ I utter cryptically, before realising my mistake.  

Langan's smile makes my blood run cold. _Fuck!_ ‘I defended Miss Cabot and didn't cause injury to Mr Kressler,’ he points out, the court his witness. _You're not her fucking saviour!_  

‘Objection! This isn't a pissing contest,’ Alex retorts, seething at Trevor’s implication. 

‘Indeed. What's your point, Mr Langan?’ Liz queries. 

‘Some latitude, Your Honour?’ When Donnelly grants it, I swallow hard. _Liz! For fucks..._ ‘How long after Detective Stabler assaulted Miss Cabot, did you assault him?’ _There it_ _i_ _s_ , the supposed difference between him and I. _Yes, he_ _groped my life once but I beat my partner_ _HOURS_ _after h_ _e_ _’d_ _assault_ _ed Alex_ _,_ _and_ _so_ _violently_ _,_ _bruising_ _was visible for weeks_ _._ _Still is_ _..._ _Self defence won't fly._ _He wants to ruin me._ _He’s after my_ _life_ _. He wants to Alpha_ _my_ _... Alex!?_  

 _I know._ ‘ _Objection!_ _I'll repeat_ , Detective Benson is _not_ on trial here! Mr Bob Ashton, Mr Ray Daniels and Master Joel Ashton, _are!_ _’_ my life snarls passionately. All pull eyes descend on her magnificence once more, including mine. ‘ _And_ , Detective Stabler admitted to assaulting me,’ she levels her piercing blue eyes on Langan. ‘He is _not_ pressing charges against Ol... Detective Benson!’ _I can't take much..._  

‘Sustained!’ Liz immediately grants my Omega's objection. 

 _Not much longer, Liv. Stay with me._ My body is on fire. 

Langan stares at Alex with such intensity, I unclasp my weapon. _Don't_ , my life silently warns as she continues to meet his gaze. 

Finally, he turns to Liz, his breaths shaky and his hands fisted. ‘No further questions for this witness.’ Both Alex and I exhale the longest breath as Langan skulks back to his chair... _d_ _efeated_. 

 _Jesus!_ Alex’s head screams as her entire body shivers violently. She fakes looking thru her notes until her breathing centres.  

 _I'm here_ , I reassure her.  

 _That's part of my issue right now_ , my Omega replies sharply. I know she's anxious about how she'll cross examine me without our relationship becoming known. _Look_ _over_ _my_ _shoulder, okay? Never into my eyes._ _Just don't look_ _at_ _me_ _._  

 _Affirmative,_ I agree, trying to distance myself from...  

‘Detective Benson,’ Alex raises her head, her eyes looking past me. ‘How did you come to arrest the defendants: Bob Ashton, Joel Ashton and Ray Daniels?’ _Finally_ _..._ _the case..._  

‘Your rape kit found three distinct strains of semen and saliva which were then matched to the defendants.’ 

‘How were you able to identify them so quickly?’  

‘Because Bob Ashton and Ray Daniels were already in the system...’ Past offences were on the table. I'm only solidifying that fact. ‘... Joel Ashton was identified thru his semen having familial similarities to Bob Ashton's DNA.’ 

‘Objection. Detective Benson is not a blood analyst,’ Langan challenges. 

‘I think the correct term is Forensic DNA Analyst and Detective Benson’s statements are proven by evidence already entered,’ my life counters, utterly owning him.  

‘Overruled,’ Liz decides. 

‘Detective,’ Alex's voice causes me to tense my thighs in hopes of stemming the friction radiating thru my clit. _Breathe_. 

 _Stay with me Olivia._  

 _I’m_ _trying_ _,_ I heave, knowing I daren't move a muscle, for fear of coming undone; my every nerve ending concentrated at my crotch. 

‘Tell the court about the stakes.’ 

‘The stakes, collected from Central Park on the morning of December 18th, had ‘Rape Stakes' etched into them and the fingerprints of both Bob and Joel Ashton covering  them.’ 

‘Suggesting only Bob and Joel Ashton handled them that night?’ 

‘Yes.’ 

‘Objection! Because it was so cold that night, any number of people could have handled them, with gloves,’ Langan argues. 

‘We have footage proving Joel and Bob Ashton were in the park; Joel Ashton carrying the stakes, just prior to my attack,’ Alex retorts smoothly, staring him down _._   

‘Overruled,’ Liz can only agree. Langan sits down. 

‘Perhaps do your preparation before attending court, Mr Langan,’ Alex goads him, ensuring the jury know he's ill prepared and out of ideas.  

Trevor rises in earnest; seething anger radiating from his every pore. I grip my weapon. ‘ _Perhaps_ introducing new evidence would help your case, instead of repeating old...’ 

‘Perhaps the defence team could _stick_ to the case material, instead of going on a witch hunt, so that I wouldn't have to _remind_ the jury why we are here; with _proven_ _evidence_ _!’_ Alex interrupts him.  

My body suddenly releases under my life's fierce spirit. Mortification hits me full force as I lower my gaze from Alex's pulse point; my heart hammering, my lungs gasping and my clit preparing for more. _No!_  

I feel my Omega's eyes on me. _You_ _didn't_ _..?_  

‘Miss Cabot, control yourself!’ Liz barks, out of necessity. _That's_ _what_ _I've screamed_ _,_ _my entire life_ _L_ _i_ _z!_  

 _She knows._  

 _Jesus Christ Liv..._  

 _I'm sorry..._  

‘Have you any final questions for this witness?’ Liz takes control of the courtroom. 

‘You mentioned you've been a Special Victims detective for four years?’ my life asks, still looking past me. My cheeks blush crimson. 

‘Yes,’ I respond briefly, not wishing my continued breathless arousal to reveal itself in my voice. 

‘Given your experience, the fact two of my three rapists: Joel Ashton and Ray Daniels, have admitted to their crimes and semen from the third rapist: Bob Ashton, was found inside me, would you say this was a sex game gone wrong or a heinous rape that almost killed me?’  

‘Objection. Miss Cabot is asking for Detective Benson’s opinion...’ 

‘ _Professional_ opinion, given Miss Benson _is_ a Detective with the Special Victim's Unit,’ my life clarifies. 

‘Overruled,’ Liz commands. ‘You may answer the question Detective Benson.’ 

‘From my experience, as an SVU Detective, with the evidence already admitted and with Joel Ashton’s confession, I have no doubt Bob and Joel Ashton went hunting for prey that night. The fact they happened upon a pure blood Omega is almost a moot point. They _planned_ to tie down and rape someone, hence the stakes and rope. Your injuries, as already highlighted, are testament to how cruelly they brutalised you. And Ray Daniels has admitted to burning, cutting and repeatedly raping you,’ I speak calmly but my heart seizes with every word, knowing the pain they are causing my beautifully together Omega; my arousal forgotten. 

‘Thank you, Detective Benson,’ Alex says quietly before glancing at Liz. ‘Nothing further.’ 

‘Mr Langan?’ 

‘No, Your Honour,’ he states, waving a hand; his bolster from earlier, deflated. _Yes. You think_ _about how your assault led to this_ _clusterfuck_ _of_ _a situ_ _..._  

 _Liv._ I finally gaze into my life's eyes. _Liz has_ _dismissed_ _you._ _G_ _et up and_ _go_ _sit in your seat._   

Bizarrely, her obvious instructions galvanize my muscles. _You'd_ _make one_ _hell of an_ _Alpha!_   

Only when Donnelly speaks again, do I remember where and who I am; my Omega my only focus. ‘... be requiring your final witness, Mr Langan?’ she tries, gaining my attention. _Careful Liz._  

The entire court turns to the defence attorney. I can _feel_ how much he’s enjoying this moment of power. ‘Yes, Your Honour. I will be requiring my last witness.’ _Of course you_ _do_ , I think bitterly.  

‘In that case, a ten minute recess. We will hear closing statements tomorrow,’ Liz orders, making it abundantly clear to Langan that he’ll be prevented from keeping Alex on the stand forever. 


	62. Taming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex tames Olivia, before her cross.
> 
> Rating: Explicit Content

As soon as Liz's gavel hits the block, my life stalks out of the courtroom; Fin and I close behind. Huang purposely stays away, now that I’m well, to prevent tongues wagging about prejudicial witness tampering. 

Alex leads us in the direction of the room I woke in; _a jury_ _room_ , I surmise upon reading the copper nameplate adorning it. 

But before we reach the door, reporters begin to surround her, us. _No_. 

‘Anyone who touches Miss Cabot _will_ be arrested,’ I threaten with barely concealed anxiety as certain members of this new mob step back, in naturally selected obedience. 

I grab my life with both hands and push her thru the melee; Fin at my side as the vultures shout enraging questions: 

‘Did you just take the stand, Detective?’ 

‘Was the YouTube video discussed?’  

‘Was it a stunt?’ 

‘Do you expect to win?’  

‘You’re insane...” 

‘You going to fuc...’ 

‘... can we watch?’ 

 _That_ _fuc_ _king_ _does it!_ I turn to them, my heart racing with a seething rage that threatens to engulf us all. Their bolster implodes slightly, not quite expecting my quick turnabout. 

 _Liv!_  

 _Breathe!_ ‘ _Please_ respect Miss Cabot’s need for privacy during this case...’ I request tightly, my warning tone one octave away from a threat.  

‘Privacy? She doesn’t deserve any after...’ 

‘One more _word_ and I'll arrest you for _harassment!’_ I snarl as Fin grabs my arm. ‘Miss Cabot is not only the victim of heinous crimes. She is also in the unenviable position of trying her own case due to circumstances outside her control,’ I continue, even though my life's voice reverberates between my ears: _Please_ _Liv._ _Don’t_ _!_ ‘Please afford her the same _respect_ you show any other survivor,’ I finish, clenching my teeth to stop myself lunging forward and sinking my canines into the nearest jugular.  

I turn round before my fantasy becomes a reality; my pack breathing a collective sigh of relief that I’m not about to commit mass murder. 

We reach, enter and secure the room before my Omega turns to me with fierce intensity.  

‘I’m sorry...’I try, expecting to be reprimanded.  

‘My love,’ she purrs, surprising me as my core simmers. 

‘I’m so sorry...’ _for not_ _grabbing him..._ _For_ _nearly losing it with those_ _..._  

‘Olivia!’ Alex barks to regain my absolute attention. ‘If you’d grabbed him, it would have fed the angle I know the defence _will_ try to force on me,’ my life argues determinedly. ‘To the jury, you showed a similar zealousness as Omi,’ she continues, threading a hand thru my cropped hair. ‘I told you to stop; to not kill him. You controlled yourself for the greater cause: winning this _fucking_ hell-hole of a case!’ My life tucks her free hand under my chin to force eye contact. ‘If you’d touched _either_ man, you wouldn’t be standing in front of me now,’ Alex states knowingly, as she caresses my cheekbone. ‘It couldn’t have worked out better other than Trevor... Anyway... I need you to do something for me,’ my Omega changes tact. She turns to Fin who busies himself with his phone. ‘I need you to release some of your tension or you’ll kill everyone in the courtroom during my cross.’ 

‘But... the cameras...’ I stutter, hating the paranoia Kressler has planted in my head. His angle suddenly doesn’t appear so moronic: _He wanted me wired,_ _seething and out of control_. 

‘This is a deliberation room. Cameras are forbidden and everyone entering the courthouse is being checked. They have been since the sniper...’Alex's eyes glaze over for mere seconds before her intense gaze spears mine once more. ‘We don’t have time... I need you to relieve yourself Liv.  _P_ _lease_. I need to focus. I _can’t_ be distracted...’ she begs; my pulse roaring in my ears as my body pleads to acquiesce.  

As she utters her intoxicating request, Fin silently lets himself out, to stand guard the other side of the door.  

My vision blurs as my life steers my hand inside my pants. 

‘But I want...’ 

‘I can’t. Remember what Liz implied when she... My release could cause mayhem. Another hell. I _can’t_ allow you to go thru that again,’ Alex whispers as she orchestrates the play of my fingers on my clit. ‘But you...’ she teases breathlessly as my frame buckles against her, my fingers feverishly tickling my clit to oblivion.  

Alex holds me; her lips whispering promises of what she wants me to do to her once we leave this godforsaken place, forever.  

My heart near bursts and my lungs batter my rib cage as my body succumbs to the incessant stroking of my fingers and the soul shatteringly delicious images my Omega’s, intoxicating voice, is stoking within my already pulsating form. 

 _... you to pin me down and take me, ravage me until neither of us can see..._ _thrust_ _yourself_ _inside me_ _until you collapse on top of me_ _,_ _my fingers_ _taking_ _you_ _,_ _ever_ _further_ _... tickling you, stroking you, rubbing you, making you come over and over and over..._ _my mouth_ _nibbling_ _your neck,_ _your collarbone,_ _your_ _breasts_ _until you beg me to_ _taste you, to_ _suck and lick you dry... my tongue never stopping... ever... lapping up every last drop of you..._  

It takes _everything_ not to re-enact the images Alex is thrusting into my mind’s eye. I dig my nails into my free hand to halt any innate urge to dominate. 

... _Your body_ _over_ _mine, pinning me, helpless to anything but your love as you explore every inch of_ _me_ _..._ _my pulse point... my mouth..._ _my taste_ _..._ _as your tongue dominates_ _me_ _;_ _your fingers_ _and mouth_ _tak_ _ing_ _complete_ _and utter_ _ownership of_ _every_ _single_ _contour of my body_ _..._  

'Oh God!’ I gasp as my knees finally give way; my life supporting me to the couch as I continue to vigorously stroke my core to its umpteenth orgasm; my body trembling with each new wave of earth-shattering pleasure.  

I moan as my eyes feast on my Omega, her features centimetres from mine. Her iridescent eyes conveying such love, heat and devotion whilst her lips continue to move, silently, imprinting further carnal fantasies that overwhelm my senses. 

 _... dominate me... taking me to the edges of euphoria with each thrust... each stroke..._  

My fingers rub and delve deeper into my core in search of everlasting climax. I close my eyes as I feel two soft, manicured fingertips begin to stroke my engorged clit, immediately belittling every orgasm that preceded her touch. _Jesus Christ!_ My body slackens helplessly against my life's ministrations. My only wish: for Alexandra Cabot to touch me this way, forever. Every fibre of my being is on fire; erupting with cloud upon cloud of pyroclastic magma as my soul relents completely to the sensations rioting thru my body.  

My eyes are still closed when I feel something being pushed into my mouth. My bronze orbs fly open seconds before the familiar taste calms my nerves. _Gloop_. I allow my life to empty the contents before I swallow it in one. 

It’s only then I realise Alex's attentions have ceased. _My Omega..._ I breathe, as my body finally reaches an equilibrium, _a normal_.  

Before I can argue, Alex stuffs a second sachet of gloop into my mouth; her cloudy blue eyes staring me down until I swallow.  

She then puts her skilful fingers between her lips and licks my scent off. It’s the single, most arousing thing I have seen in my _entire_ life. My life knows _exactly_ what she’s doing as my core quivers painfully.  

 _One more stroke and then_ _we must_ _get back,_ my life allows as she looks at her watch. My fingers, still in position, oblige, stoking my clit to quiet release.  

When I eventually finish, I glance at my Omega briefly. ‘Don’t _ever_ do that again...’ I breathe harshly; every bit of willpower focused on withdrawing my hand from my panties. I succeed as my life waits for me to meet her gaze. 

‘What?’ she teases, her cloudy blues wide with faux innocence. I smile despite myself. ‘You have no idea how incredible you are, do you Liv?’ My soul bursts with ridiculous pride at her exclamation. 

Alex opens her Mary Poppins bag and retrieves some femfresh wipes and a clean pair of panties. I look at my Omega for a long moment. She holds my gaze, her lips and mind unusually quiet, to stem any unnecessary explanations for having these items. I clean myself up.  

‘Ready?’ I become lost in her eyes. _How do you do this?_ ‘Years of practice,’ my life whispers, the glimmer fading from her eyes. 

‘I love you,’ I say, at a loss. 

‘ _Don’t_ be nice to me, Liv,’ Alex warns, her eyes moistening with every passing second. ‘And no matter what he does or says to me, don’t _bite!_ I can’t lose you.’ 

‘Take him down Lex. Stuff his cock in a blender!’ I suggest instead of reaching out for her, as every fibre of my being begs me to do. 

‘Better,’ my life murmurs her approval. ‘You okay?’ she asks, evaluating my ability to stand, to contain my anger, to mask my exhaustion. _Weakness will be preyed upon._  

‘Top dog,’ I answer, biting back the urge to reflect the question. 

‘You sure are...’ my Omega drawls as she walks to the door. My core stirs anew. _For fucks sake!_  

‘If I’m not allowed to be nice to you, you _certainly_ aren’t allowed to do that to me!’ I stress, affronted. 

‘Noted.’ Alex unlocks the door before I can rebuff, her expression a mixture of amusement and uncertainty; before her ice mask resets. _Let’s go._  


	63. Defence: Final Witness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex takes the stand.
> 
> Rating: Explicit Content

I follow my life back into the Supreme Courtroom. I try to clear my mind to avoid distracting her. To aide this, I focus on Langan; a semi smirk dancing across his features. _He’s going to enjoy this_ _, the_ _fucke_ _..._  

 _Yes,_ _b_ _ut we’ll enjoy the bigger_ _win,_ my Omega reassures me as we take our designated seats, awaiting the cross of the case.  

I feel eyes on me. I raise my head to find Liz looking at me, her mouth set in a grim line. _Fuck!_ She knows and is quietly seething at our extracurricular activities.  

 _Forget her Liv. There’s nothing she can do now_ _,_ Alex interjects, almost flippantly. The deathly stare Donnelly gives her solidifies my suspicions.  

 _Yes, I can hear everything you_ _two are thinking_ _._ _Now,_ _you better be ready Alex because I can’t save you._  

My life continues looking at her case notes, feigning last minute preparations as queen Alpha states her claim on our minds. _How?_  

 _This happened between your grandmother and I after a time. I don’t understand it but only people you trust_ _(in your pack of sorts) can hear you._  

 _Well thanks for telling us Liz!_ _And who says I trust you?_ _Get out of our_ _fucking_ _heads_ _!_  

 _How can I? Especially w_ _hen I can hear what Alex wants you to do to her from here!_ I kick the back of the wooden court divide before I can stop myself. Mortification hits as all eyes focus on me. _You must trust me or I wouldn’t hear you._  

 _Fucking..._  

 _Liv_ _!_ my life states evenly. _Liz, I’ve just sated my Alpha_ _._ _Don’t_ _rile her now!_ _And Liv, shut up!_ _Understood?_  

Alex takes absolute control, sending ripples of need cascading thru my clit as we both concede with a unanimous: _Understood_.   

Alexandra Cabot finally lifts her head from her notes, crosses her legs and laces her fingers on the table in front of her. Her actions bely the horrifying truth that Liz has heard our inner most desires. I clear my throat to silence a wail of anguish, in recognition of this latest violation. _Don’t_ _think..._ _don’t_ _..._  

 _Shut_ _up Olivia_ _!_ comes Donnelly’s impatient demand. 

 _Don’t you ever talk to me like that_ _again_ _!_ I snarl aggressively. _I’m not your bitch!_  

 _But you’re Alex’s!_  

 _If you two don’t stop, I’ll walk out!_ _You’re being ridiculous. Calm the_ _hell_ _down_ _!_ The only sign of her frustration, the intermittent tapping of her foot on the floor. _I’m about to be cross examined and you two are comparing penis_ _sizes_ _!_ My life takes a deep breath. _Get over yourselves and get out o_ _f my_ _head_ _, both of you!_ My clit shudders in protest. 

‘Mr Langan, please proceed with your final witness,’ Liz voices, seamlessly returning to the matter at hand. I look between my Omega and Donnelly, a former Omega; in awe of their ability to mask their emotions, as I dig my nails into my palms. _Years of practice_. My soul recoils at the... 

 _Liv!_  

Langan stands, his chest puffed up, like a gorilla about to beat himself in a territorial display. ‘The defence call Miss Cabot to the stand.’ The courtroom noticeably ripples with excitement. I try to prevent the grimace of revulsion reaching my face. 

My life stands; her deportment elegant and determined, as she takes the most important walk of her life.  

I bite my lip and glance at Fin to stop myself reassuring her. Fin gives me a curt nod, his eyes conveying all he needs to. _I_ _got_ _you_ _, baby girl._ I close mine for several seconds, feeling my Omega’s vulnerability as I swallow down my nausea. _Who_ _else...?_  

 _Think it’s only the four of us,_ Fin finally admits.  

 _Only?!_ _Jesus Christ!_  

I open my eyes to find my life looking over my shoulder, her features fixed in a closed expression though I know she is checking in on me. I hate how self-obsessed I am that my life is about to be brutalised on the stand and I’m worrying about my closest friend and a queen bee judge tapping into our darkest thoughts. I turn away quickly, settling my eyes on Alex's latest challenger, to prevent my love for my beautiful Omega becoming evident. 

 _Stay calm for fucks sake, Olivia!_  

Liz also interrupts Langan’s gloating. ‘Miss Cabot, would you like to address the court before Mr Langan begins his cross examination?’  

Alex doesn’t turn to Donnelly as she answers. ‘No, Your Honour. I feel the evidence put forward, as well as my witness's testimonies can inform the court and jury. Anything further I have to say will be addressed in my closing arguments.’ My life feels a monologue, whilst sitting vulnerably on the stand, will leave her open to abuse.  

‘Okay. Mr Langan, you may begin,’ Liz allows. 

Langan steps forward, pressing his tie flat as he surveys his final witness. Sat there waiting patiently, an air of cool indifference and poise radiating from her every pore; I understand and am nauseated by the pull my intoxicating Omega generates. 

‘Miss Cabot. How long have we known each other?’ _Fuck! He’s not._ _.._  

 _Stop Olivia!_ ‘Four years,’ Alex states concisely. 

‘And how closely did we work together during this time?’ 

‘Your Honour... relevance?’ my Omega challenges. 

‘I wish to give an alternative theory for why Miss Cabot appears to be victim of constant, alleged abuse,’ Langan counters. 

‘Proceed with caution Trevor. Overruled,’ Liz allows, as I glare at her fleetingly before remembering myself. 

‘Please answer the question Miss Cabot,’ Langan pushes. 

‘We were trainee lawyers within the same company,’ Alex evades the bigger insinuation. 

‘We worked together, daily, for four years?’ he doggedly stays on point. 

‘Yes,’ my life concedes, not a furrow of her brow or a grimace of her lips, telling of her discomfort. _Swan_ : the word to describe her incredible poise.  

‘Did we work in the same room?’ 

‘Yes,’ my Omega purposely keeps her answers monosyllabic.  

‘Were we sat within a metre of each other?’ _For fucks..._  

‘Yes.’  

‘So, for four years, we sat within a metre of each other?’ 

‘Yes.’ I can smell my life’s sweat; the only sign he’s getting to her. 

‘What is my status in this hierarchy of yours?’ he asks, almost in jest. 

‘I’m not answering a question that’s combative!’ Alex retorts evenly. I clamp my thighs shut. _Shit!_  

‘Sustained. Remember Miss Cabot is your witness, Mr Langan,’ Liz helpfully reminds him. 

Langan rubs his forehead a moment. ‘Let me rephrase; what's my status in this hierarchy?’ 

‘So, you agree it exists?’ Alex argues coldly. 

‘Please can I treat Miss Cabot as a hostile witness for the remainder of her examination?’ Langan tries, perversely. _You bastard!_  

‘ _Denied,_ ’ Liz states fiercely. ‘Miss Cabot, please refrain from asking the defence questions. You are their witness.’ I watch my life swallow thickly before she returns her gaze to her latest tormentor. 

‘You’re an Alpha,’ my Omega states, her outward appearance seemingly un-phased. I know different. 

Langan smiles at her. ‘So, you worked closely with an Alpha male for four years?’ he asks, his cross frustratingly effective.  

‘Yes.’ 

‘Did I rape you doing this time?’ his jarring question makes Alex flinch. 

 _Breathe._  

‘No, b...’ 

‘I was able to fight against your alleged irresistibility,’ Langan states rather than questions it; his eyes boring into my life. But it’s his pause that really gets to me. My Omega stays calm and avoids prematurely punctuating the growing silence. _Alex..._  

 _Liv! Please_ _don’t_ _._  

Eventually, Liz slices thru the cloying heaviness of the room. ‘Mr Langan, is there a question?’ 

The defence attorney finally tears his eyes away from my life. ‘Ah. Yes, Your Honour,’ he says, his mind freeing itself from a hormone induced stupor. ‘Miss Cabot, how would you describe our relationship?’  

Alex spears him an icy stare. ‘Professional. Amicable.’ 

‘Amicable?’ _He w_ _on_ _’_ _t stop._  

‘We’d sometimes have takeout and stay late at the office, due to a tough upcoming case,’ my life answers honestly, trying to fathom exactly where he’s going with this. 

‘Did I ask you out?’ 

‘Your Honour... again, what is the relevance to this case?’ my Omega objects again. 

‘Mr Langan, get to where you’re going, stat!’ 

‘I need Miss Cabot to answer the question to get there.’ _You fuck..._ I feel blood dripping from my palm. 

‘Yes, you did,’ Alex confesses, frustrated. 

‘How many times?’ Langan pushes. 

‘Numerous. I can’t remember exactly.’ 

‘So, you knew I was interested in you?’ he continues down this rabbit warren of a hole. 

‘Yes,’ my Omega relents, now knowing _exactly_ where her former friend, abuser and current sworn enemy is leading her. 

‘So, given there has been testimony suggesting you are intoxicating to most mere mortal, how come you allowed me to stick around when you knew I was a potential risk to you?’ _There it is._  

Alex stares at him for the longest time, hatred very nearly evident. ‘Because you were very careful not to touch me, unlike everyone else. I thought you were different. Someone with a conscience...’ 

‘Was it worth that kind of risk?’ Langan interrupts her. 

‘What kind of life would I lead if I didn’t step foot out of my apartment? If I didn’t earn a living?’ Alex argues, vehemently.  

‘But you decided to be around an Alpha who was interested in you? Considering your witnesses have suggested such behaviour could lead to you being grievously assaulted, why hazard the risk?’ 

‘Because I thought you had a conscience,’ my life volleys back, frostily. _Breathe Alex!_  

 _I am fucking breathing!_ My disgusting clit stirs dispute itself.   

‘Could your friendliness be mistaken for flirting?’ Langan twists the knife. 

‘That’s a question I cannot answer, as _that_ maybe your perception of my _platonic_ behaviour,’ Alex reflects it back expertly. ‘Pull people see what they want to see,’ she adds. 

‘Pull people?’ 

‘Yes. People who pose a risk to Omega's. Please refer back to Huang’s testim...’ my life tries to voice Langan's ineptness. 

But he interrupts her, ‘A sexual risk?’ He asks this for no other reason than to stroke his hard on. 

‘Yes.’ 

‘So, you knew I was a sexual risk to you?’ 

‘Yes,’ Alex answers, exasperated at his circular questioning. 

‘Have I ever touched you inappropriately?’ _What!?_ The shock that he is about to commit career suicide, pummels our senses. _He_ _wants_ _a mistrial_ _;_ _the clever bastard._  

 _He can try..._ ‘Mr Langan, stop baiting your witness,’ Liz rescues the case.  

 _Thank_ _God_ _Liz_ _!_  

Donnelly’s interjection leaves Langan mute for several moments. _He_ _genuinely_ _thought he could_ _fuck_ _up_ _this trial_ _._  

After several minutes of cleaning his glasses, Langan turns back to his witness. ‘Miss Cabot, would you say you are a friendly or aloof person?’ 

‘Generally aloof for my own protection,’ my life utters, heartbreakingly. 

‘So why did you let me in?’ Langan asks the purposely vague question.  

‘Please clarify the question.’ My Omega is no fool. 

‘Emotionally. Did we have a friendship?’ 

‘Yes, of sorts.’ 

‘How come you let that happen?’ 

‘Because I was desperate for some human interaction that didn’t involve forced sex and you seemed to have a conscience.’ 

‘You would put yourself at sexual risk for a friendship?’ Langan asks, his tone dumbfounded. 

‘When you have spent _years_ alone because _most_ people pose a risk to you; when someone shows you the slightest respect, its... its...’ 

‘It's alluring,’ Langan finishes for her.  

‘Not in a sexual way but in an emotionally connected way, yes. Humans aren’t meant to be solitary,’ Alex whispers, killing me. 

‘So, you found our friendship alluring enough to take the risk?’ 

‘Yes,’ Alex admits, as she holds her head in shame. _My love._  

 _Don’t._  

‘So you do take risks?’  

 _W_ _hen death is the most attractive option_ _, yes_. ‘No, not as a rule.’ 

‘But you did with me,’ Langan shuts down this line of enquiry. ‘So how come you decided to stand as your own counsel? Couldn’t get enough?’ he taunts, near strutting to the jury bench between us. _You bastard._ I bite my knuckle to stop myself verbalising it and connecting with his flesh. 

Donnelly moves to challenge him. 

 _Don’t_ _,_ _Liz_ _, Liv. Please!_ _I’ve got_ _this._ Alex looks him square in the eye. ‘Miss Novak and I had professional differences. And your role, in the defence team, only became known once Mr Granger and Mr Buchannan had been placed in contempt of court and removed from the case.’ 

‘What do Omega’s in wolf packs expect out of life?’ Langan changes tact, ignoring my life’s answer entirely. 

‘To be subservient to every other pack member,’ my life answers. 

‘So, as you coined this phrase or identity for yourself, would you say you are subservient to everyone else?’ 

‘Every pull person; yes.’ 

‘So, by that end, surely part of your physiology is engineered to _want_ to be dominated?’ _F_ _uck!_ I almost jump out of my seat to tear him apart. _He’s far too close..._ then I shut my mind down, knowing we now have a constant audience.  

‘Are you _trying_ to suggest I _enjoy_ being raped?’ Alex asks icily, her brow furrowed in open disgust. 

‘No. I’m saying you don’t mind putting yourself in risky situations, which _could_ result in you being raped,’ Langan retorts meaningfully. 

‘Shall we discuss why I was walking alone past Central Park that night?’ Alex challenges him. _Careful, my heroin._  

‘Gladly,’ Langan near drawls as Liz bangs her gavel, surprising the entire courtroom. 

‘Continue looking at Miss Cabot that way and I’ll adjourn this case until we infill _yet_ another defence attorney!’ Donnelly barks aggressively, informing Langan in no uncertain terms that he _is_ replaceable. _Please don’t stall the case!_  

‘Your Honour,’ Langan acquiesces submissively, though I know he’s seething. 

‘Miss Cabot, please continue.’ 

‘I was forced to attend a Christmas party because our boss threatened to fire me if I didn’t. I turned up, was sexually assaulted so immediately left, fearing I may be further assaulted; leaving my purse, keys, everything behind. I was jogging on the fringes of Central Park, knowing I have a spare key for these types of circumstances, when I was knocked unconscious by one of the Ashton’s. I woke to Bob Ashton on top of me, inside me, raping me and Joel Ashton in my mouth, orally raping me. I was tied down and naked. I bit Joel Ashton. This resulted in the second of numerous beatings that night. I didn’t bite him again,’ Alex stops, not feeling the need to explain further.  

That terrifying image will forever be etched into every court attendee's minds-eye. ‘The medical examiner found a bite mark on Joel Ashton’s penis,’ my life adds quickly, for evidential value. I bite my tongue to stop myself glaring at him; the only remaining stray in the courtroom.  

‘One of the Ashton’s? How do you know it was one of them?’ Langan picks on the only weakness he can.  

‘Because I smelt their scent, seconds before one of them struck me.’ 

‘Okay,’ Langan says, nodding his head and thumbing his lips, deep in thought. ‘Who sexually assaulted you, causing you to leave the party?’ _Really!?_ _He wants to adjourn the case and withdraw himself..._  

 _I know, my Alpha. Stay calm._  

 _He took this case so he could violate you on the stand!_  

 _Breath Liv, please!_ ‘I don’t think that is relevant to this case,’ Alex fields his question. 

‘I’m wondering _if_ the initial assault happened or whether you were looking for _another_ _risky_ adventure in which you _wanted_ to be dominated. But you made up the assault at the party to fuel your script as a perpetual victim,’ Langan verbally attacks my Omega. I yearn to kill him as I clench my fists. _Breathe_. ‘Then you made up being raped when in actual fact you had a _sick_ , twisted rape fantasy...’ 

‘Both Joel Ashton and Ray Daniel’s admitted to _violently_ and _repeatedly_ raping me! The physical evidence proves Bob Ashton also raped me,’ Alex roars above Langan's heinous counter arguments. 

‘Order in my courtroom!’ Liz slams her gavel again. ‘Mr Langan, I stated you could _not_ treat Miss Cabot as a hostile witness. And Miss Cabot is correct; two of your clients have testified to raping her. These are _facts_ in this courtroom,’ Liz remonstrates him. ‘I find it deployable that you are trying to back-peddle and attack Miss Cabot on statements already admitted into evidence. I _strongly_ suggest you move on Mr Langan.’ The only reason Donnelly isn’t ruling him in contempt of court is so this case can be deliberated by the jury, _tomorrow_. I clench my teeth and dig my nails into my non-bloody palm. The pain helps. 

‘What status is Detective Olivia Benson, Miss Cabot?’ My heart rate spikes even though this particular line of questioning was expected. _Here_ _we go..._  

‘Detective Benson is an Alpha,’ my life replies as she looks at her tormentor with a bland expression. 

‘I find it interesting that you appear to surround yourself with Alpha’s who can do you great harm...’ Langan comments, insidiously. 

‘Have you _seen_ the YouTube video?’ Alex retorts caustically.  

‘Yes. It’s something that’s difficult to un-see,’ he says with faux distaste. ‘It’s hard to understand how a _no_ _n-_ _pull_ Alpha appears to be finding it incredibly difficult _not_ to ravage you, herself?’ _You_ _unimaginable bastard! He must have watched it hundreds_ _of_ _times_ _,_ _and zoomed_ _in_ _to get that much_ _o_ _f a feel of_ _i_ _t!_  

‘How many times did you watch the video to come to such a heinous conclusion that Detective Benson might be raping me?’ Alex rebuttals evenly, her icy gaze forceful enough to shrivel the most engorged of erections. 

The defence attorney smiles at my life. I feel the revulsion course thru her veins. ‘Towards the end of the video, it looks like Detective Benson is about to kiss you. This, as we've been led to believe, would have caused most _pull_ people to rape you. Yes?’ 

‘Detective Benson and I were in an _extreme_ situation. We were being digitally raped, sexually assault and groped whilst Detective Benson was trying to shield me. We were in intimate contact due to the mob tearing our clothes from our bodies and Detective Benson's aforementioned shielding,’ Alex turns to the jury. ‘Detective Benson was attempting to comfort me as we both thought we were about to die. _That_ is it! Anyone who tries to sully Detective Benson’s character is _not_ in _full_ possession of the facts. She has saved me in every way a pure blood Omega can be saved...’ _Stop my_ _love_. Alex heeds my warning. ‘ _That_ incident may _look_ like a hundred different things to you. But I stress that Detective Benson has _never_ stepped over my boundaries, as an officer of the law or as my case handler.’ I feel a multitude of eyes on me as I beg with every last breath, that my face isn’t flushed.  

‘Until she punched her partner at least!’ Langan counters as my hackles rise. ‘So, is she or is she not a pull Alpha?’ _Fucking fucker!_ For the first time, my life is at a loss. 

‘Mr Langan, I don’t think this is relevant,’ Liz objects on Alex’s behalf. _Careful Liz._  

‘I think it is, Your Honour, for the sheer fact of finding out where Miss Cabot’s and Detective Benson’s boundaries _actually_ lie.’ 

‘Can I remind you who’s on trial here?!’ Liz argues. 

‘I’m only after the truth...’ 

 _Say it_ _, Lex_ _. Tell them._ _Once this is over, there’s no way I can hide my feelings for you._ _It would then call the entire case_ _and_ _our integrity into question._  

‘Yes, Detective Benson _is_ a pull Alpha,’ Alex utters the one thing that causes the entire courtroom to gasp. Of all the things the court has heard, _this_ is the element they are most interested in. _Are Miss Cabot and Detective_ _Benson fuck buddies?_ _Or_ _is_ _the gasp in_ _respect of me holding myself back?_  

Suddenly, the case is on a knife edge. Langan has tapped into what the masses (and the jury) _really_ want, what they’re going to remember; more than the heinous abuse, more than the stray's admittance of guilt. _Do Alex and I have integrity? Am I_ _abusing_ _my station? If Alex is_ _sleeping with_ _me, there is no way she_ _could_ _have been brutalised_ _last December_ _? Surely?_ Each possible argument ricochets in my skull. 

The courtroom is eerily quiet as that one utterance sinks further than any other voiced thus far. _Shit!_  

‘Detective Benson is the glue in this case. She is _living_ , _breathing_ proof that a pull Alpha can be intoxicated by a pure blood Omega's scent and not assault her, me. Detective Benson has _never_ abused or assaulted me in _any_ fashion. She has a conscience. It’s about whether a person _decides_ to ignore it and _allow_ themselves to be governed by their _b_ _asal_ , _animal_ _instincts_.’ _Hmmm_.  

‘But my place in the hierarchy is almost moot in this case. Two of my rapist’s admitted to being armed with stakes, rope and a thermos. They _planned_ to rape someone that night. I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. My status kept them attacking me, for hours. Then Ray Daniels had a _choice_ : either help untie me or use my body. Ray Daniel’s _decided_ to use my body, again and again and again.’  

The silence in the courtroom is deafening as tears begin flowing soundlessly down my life’s face.  

‘If I can ask you all, as many of you that are comfortable, to close your eyes. Please don’t participate if you’re suffering or have suffered from PTSD,’ Alex requests. I keep my eyes open, my mind clear. 

‘Imagine your greatest fear: the emotions that erupt in you, the physical responses to the idea of it; the increased beat of you heart, the dryness of your mouth, the sweat that slicks your palms.’ 

‘Now imagine those feelings staying with you each waking hour of every day, because you know that fear _will_ become a reality at least once, every few days or so. For a week each month, those fears will happen most days; perhaps multiple times, perhaps enough to cause you grievous bodily harm.’ 

‘That night, when I woke to both Ashton’s raping me, I begged for death. When Ray Daniels decided to force himself inside me, I begged for death.’ 

‘The moment Bob and Joel Ashton _decided_ to buy those stakes, that rope; _decided_ to etch ‘Rape Stakes' into them; _decided_ to leave their home and walk to Central Park, their intentions were clear. As soon as Ray Daniel’s _decided_ not to help me, his intentions were clear.’  

‘ _Th_ _is_ is what you’re here to deliberate. Whether each defendant: Bob Ashton, Joel Ashton and Ray Daniels, is guilty of predatory sexual assault, aggravated sexual assault in the first degree, aggravated assault and false imprisonment.’ 

‘This is the people’s closing statement. The prosecution rests,’ With that, Alexandra Cabot’s heels are the only sound in the entire courtroom, her hand distractedly wiping the last of her tears from her face, as she walks the twenty steps back to her prosecution desk. _I love you_. 

 _Don’t!_  

A sound at the back of the courtroom steals our attention. _Clapping?_ The sound increases in volume until my Omega’s arms shake with the effort it takes not to collapse under the weight of her emotions. I turn to see Kate being ushered out of the courtroom, her safe person right behind her. I blink back the ready tears.  

 _Oh God!_ my life silently whimpers, as she tries desperately to control herself. 

‘Order in the courtroom,’ Liz mutters softly, needing to be seen to keep the court in line. _Don’t look at me Olivia!_ ‘Mr Langan, would you like to make your closing statement now?’ It’s only then I remember the defence attorney was in the middle of examining my Omega. Alex had completely taken over, causing Langan to sit down in open admiration of her spirit and utter determination for justice.  

He stands. ‘The evidence speaks for itself. The defence rests in its entirety.’ Alex turns to Trevor, her eyes disbelieving. 

Joel Ashton doesn’t even look up, let alone fight his attorney's declination to offer concluding arguments.  

‘In that case, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you may retire now to consider your verdict. The Supreme Court rests.’  

The gavel slamming on the block; the sweetest sound we’ve _ever_ heard. 


	64. Sustenance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia, Alex and Fin try to reenergise.
> 
> Rating: Explicit Content

4pm 

My eyes never leave my Omega as the jury walk, single file, into an adjoining room to begin their deliberations.  

My eyes don’t leave my life as the court attendees begin to stretch their legs; some of them leaving to use the restroom or to raid the vending machine. 

My eyes wait until Alex turns to meet my gaze; exhausted, yet still so awe-inspiringly controlled. _My love._   

 _Tell me it's done_ _,_ _Liv. Please_ _, God, t_ _ell me it’s over..._  

 _You couldn’t have done more, my Omega._ _.._  

 

6pm 

Liz clears her throat after two hours of near silence. _Waiting_.  ‘Stewards, dismiss the jury for the evening. It’s been a long day. Court is adjourned until 9am tomorrow morning.’ 

We both know Alex has been primed to leave; her body rioting with overwhelming adrenaline to flee this hideous place and every threat in it. I notice her hands grip her desk in desperation, to stop herself racing out of the courtroom blind, and possibly into further danger.  

 _I_ _can’t_ _..._  

 _One more minute, my love. Just one more._ _Everyone is leaving._  

 _Don’t touch me until we_ _get_ _home... I can’t...._ The fact my life is losing herself breaks my heart. My spirited Omega is finally bowing under the weight this trial; her life, has taken on her.  

 _Let’s move_ _..._ I say as the last court straggler _finally_ leaves. 

Liz, unusual for the presiding judge, is still present. She turns to Alex, giving her the softest smile; a smile I didn’t realise Donnelly was capable of. _You, my child, are the most_ _incredible_ _being_ _I have ever met._  

The near loving sentiment takes us off guard, as much as the reminder she can hear us. _Don’_ _t Liz._ _Not_ _now_ _,_ I warn as I guide my exhausted Omega to the courtroom entrance.  

 _You’re not bad yourself, Olivia_ , she continues, ignoring my silent request.  

 _Perhaps_ _don’t_ _mind-r_ _ape us seconds before_ _Alex_ _takes_ _the stand!_  

 _Perhaps don’t bitch about me..._  

 _Stop it_ _! I don’t have the energy to_ _..._ _Just_ _stop it_ _!_ my life barks fiercely. I bite my lip to prevent my acidic retorts airing themselves. 

‘Let’s go bitches,’ Fin interjects light-heartedly, causing Alex and I to chuckle despite ourselves. Liv leaves the courtroom, stone faced.  

As soon as we open the door, the few vetted camera crews crowd around us. 

‘Miss Cabot, a few words now the jury is...’ 

‘Cab...’ 

‘Detective, any thoughts on...’ 

‘Do you think you’ll...’ 

‘Can you call it?’ 

‘Surely you know you’ll lo...’ 

‘Did your affair...’ 

Alex loses her thinly veiled patience and turns to the vultures. ‘I plan to make a statement _after_ the jury have delivered their verdict. No further comments at this time,’ she voices calmly, though I know her insides are imploding. _Get me out of_ _here_ _Liv!_  

 _Gladly,_ my teeth grit, as we move to the entrance where bigger, unvetted dangers lay in wait.  

Fin and I sandwich Alex thru the courtroom swivel door. We are instantly met by our protective detail, who surround us with their armoured bodies. We move as one, seamlessly, towards the safety of my waiting Tesla. My hackles rise. _Something isn’t right..._  

Alex looks at me, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears as we continue moving forward. _What is it?_ she can’t help asking.  

 _I don’t know_ , my head speaks above the din as we push thru a particularly frenzied mob.  

‘Alex is our hero!’ 

‘She’s an inspiration...’ 

‘...heroin...’ 

 _Their ours..._ my life belated realises. The tears she has been fighting for so long, finally flowing in a torrent of soul shattering relief.  

We reach my vehicle; my world getting in the back as I step on the gas and flee the mayhem.  

 

7:05pm 

After taking numerous different routes to shake off the more determined reporters, we arrive at our destination; our haven.  

Minutes after I shut the engine off, the three of us are unmoved, deep in our own frozen blankness. Not moving, not a whisper of a thought: _silence_.  

Finally, my life opens her door, igniting my own stiff limbs. I mirror her actions and hurry to her side. 

 _Don’t_ _treat me like I_ _'ll_ _break_ _Liv_ _,_ she warns though I can feel the fragility radiating off her body; her limbs and lips shaking as she tries not to fall apart.  

 _You don’t have to be strong_ _around_ _us_ _; around me,_ I reassure her as she stiffly walks to our bedroom. 

As soon as I close the door behind us, my Alexandra collapses to the floor. _My love._  

I pick her up and lay her on the bed. I retrieve a hand towel from the dresser, dampen it with warm water and lay it across her brow. I then nuzzle in next to her exhausted form and wait for her body and mind to recover.  

 

I wake first. It’s pitch-black outside. I have no idea of time. My Omega is nestled into my body; into the crook of my neck. I breathe in her scent as I marvel at the tenacious warrior in my arms. Never have I met someone more magnificent, more utterly perfect.  

The tickle of her breath on my skin is almost my undoing. I remain frozen until my left arm screams for escape from under my life’s head. I slowly and painstakingly free my arm and body without waking Alex. I quickly write a note and leave it on my pillow just in case she wakes and panics that I’m not with her.  

I walk to the kitchen, in desperate need of sustenance. I raid the fridge, finding all the necessary ingredients to make a hearty breakfast for each of us.  

I work over the stove for twenty minutes, enjoying the smells, sights and sounds hitting my senses as I drain the sizzling bacon fat. 

My senses are so overwhelmed with the promise of food that I jolt slightly when I feel a pointed chin rest on my shoulder, her arms wrapping around me, her body flush against mine. I lean my head back, exposing my neck so my life can nibble my flesh. I sigh, enjoying the feeling whilst trying desperately not to drown in the essence of her in the only agreed, communal area. ‘God, Alex,’ I breathe huskily as her hands attempt to delve inside my waistband. I halt her advance as I turn around to cup her beautiful face. ‘Eat first... dine later,’ I stammer, my breath hitching as I read the undeniable heat blazing in her cloudy blue orbs.  

We release each other; our bodies noticeably protesting against this unnatural act. I audibly groan when our fingers finally part.  

I dish up quickly, setting our overflowing plates down and offering my life a knife and fork. 

We gaze at each other, our food momentarily forgotten. _You want to talk about it?_   

My exquisite Omega shakes her flaxen mane in one clipped motion. 

 _Not even Kate and the supporting_ _crowd_ _outsi_ _..._  

 _No Liv._ _Not now._ I heed Alex's need for quiet. 

We eat in silence; our neglected hunger suddenly priority as I drain my second glass of orange juice. I’ve never seen three sausages, three rashes of bacon, two harsh browns, two slices of fried bread, two fried eggs, and a sea of mushrooms and baked beans demolished so quickly. Alex meets my proud smile with a sated grin. _You continue to amaze me,_ I compliment, in awe of her appetite, considering... 

‘I though' I smelt somethin’,’ Fin interrupts the moment, his eyes lighting up as he spies a third plate. ‘For me?’ he feigns manners as he bites ravenously into a sausage.  

Alex and I watch him inhale his meal; our eyes portraying our love for _this_ man. He feels us watching but is too hungry to care. _I love you guys too,_ _now rack_ _off!_  

We need no further encouragement. I race my life to our room; only slightly regretting the monstrous quantity of food we’ve just ingested. 

I hurry to our closet and retrieve a certain item, stripping my clothes and placing it on my person. I turn to find my Omega lying naked on the bed, her arms above her head, gripping the wrought iron bed frame; her body achingly ripe and waiting _only_ for me.  

I drink in her intoxicating gorgeousness; my member twitching slightly, in time with my clit. _Jesus Christ!_  

 _Ravage me, my Alpha. I_ _need you_ _..._  

Though my core is trembling with molten heat at the thought, my mind is filled with images of my life being.... 

 _Olivia!_ Alex shouts to regain my attention, her eyes tearing up with unabashed understanding. _You are my life partner_ _;_ _my only safe person. I trust you with my life,_ _my_ _body_ _, my_ _soul_ _._ _I_ _need_ _you,_ _my_ _Alpha_ _,_ _to dominate me before I_ _completely lose myself_ _. Please!_ my Omega begs as I take in her achingly beautiful form; the soul-shattering evidence of years of abuse etched into her skin, with renewed clarity. My life’s body holding an eternity of horrifying trauma and her mind, a thousand heinous secrets.  

Alex realises I’m frozen; my body utterly still besides my panting breathes, screaming heart and sweating palms. My life sits up and reaches her hand out to draw mine.  

 _You are so beautiful_ , my mind whispers with absolute certainty as her skin touches mine. Searing arousal courses thru my body at this simple touch. Alex’s iridescent eyes gaze into mine as she takes my pinky finger and begins sucking it between her lips.  

 _I want you. I need you. I love you_ , my Omega continues in her attempts to simultaneously relax and consume me.  

 _We need Huang_ , I surmise, threading my fingers thru my hair. I bite my lip as my life takes my index finger in her mouth.  

 _But not right now..._ she whispers huskily as my abdomen shivers with quaking need. 

 _God Alex,_ I breathe as my Omega begins touching herself, utterly blindsiding me.  

 _I won’t be saying_ _..._ _‘Teflon' tonight_ , she promises as her breathing hitches; her arousal radiating thru every fibre of her being. 

Watching Alexandra Cabot feasting on my finger whilst pleasuring herself to orgasm, _whilst_ pleading with me to take her in any way I see fit; my stubborn resolve shatters into a million pieces.  

 _Oh Jesus!_ I growl as my body lands on top of her; my hands, lips and tongue everywhere, exploring, needing, inhaling the pure essence of my Omega. _Christ Alex_ _!_ I gasp as I dominate my life; my lips taking hers in a bruising kiss so intensely charged with emotion and carnal desire, my core swells and contracts to soul-shattering orgasm.  

I claw and grope at my life’s flesh, my drive to dominate Alex so insanely potent, I would kill for it. My Omega grips the wrought iron frame above her head, giving me complete access to her enthralling body. I watch in raptured fascination as, I spider my nails up and down my life's sides, she arches in a clear sign of pleasure. _God_ _! Don’t stop..._ I continue to tickle her as my mouth claims hers once more; a moan escaping her lips as I battle with her tongue.  

As soon as I feel Alex stiffen, I withdraw my lips; surprised and awed to observe a climax bursting thru her magnificent form. _Tickling_ _?_ _Really??_ I query, my eyebrow arched as my nails rake up and down her sides; my Omega’s orgasm utterly consuming her.  

 _A_ _conver_ _..._ _sation_ _... for another_ _time_ _..._ my life suggests breathlessly as she gazes at me with such searing desire, her heat scorches my skin. Her chest pants with pleasure as she fondles my member. _Please_ _, my Alpha. I need you_ _insi_ _de me._  

 _I don’t want to hurt you..._  

 _You have never hurt me!_ _s_ he reassures me passionately, as she guides my member to her sex. _If you don’t_ _take_ _me, now, I’ll_ _tear this place_ _a_ _part._  

 _We can’t... have that..._ _now..._ _can we..._ I tease, breathlessly, as I enter her. I watch my life's features melt as I brush her sweet spot. Once my member is nestled deeply in her core, I begin thrusting, exquisitely slowly. Alex releases her grip on the wrought iron frame and reaches for me. _Don’t touch me... yet..._ I warn, huskily, as sweat begins to bead on my forehead, with the effort it takes to restrain myself from utterly feeding off my intoxicating Omega.  

 _Let... go..._ my life coaxes as she replaces her hands above her head, gripping the bed frame until instructed otherwise. Her complete submission blurs my vision as I tease her sweet spot to oblivion. My Omega arches under me, her face enraptured in wave upon wave of soul shattering pleasure, as I continue to coax her thru every last ember of her blazing orgasm. _Jesus Liv!_ Alex gasps as I run a hand down her body, to her sex; my thumb stroking and rubbing her clit to further cataclysmic heights. 

I don’t stop, as my life’s body trembles and arches beneath mine; her soul in the throes of unimaginable pleasure.  

I take ownership of her lips once more; my member still coaxing her sweet spot, my fingers still tickling her clit. My life gasps into my mouth as her body remains submissively open to me; helplessly driven over the precipice again and again. 

 _Liv!_ my Omega tries as I continue to strum her body; a master conductor orchestrating her pleasure. _Please!_  

I finally relent. _Touch me_ _._ Alex immediately latches on to my body, her fingers and hands _everywhere_ , engulfing me in flames of molten euphoria. I begin feverishly thrusting into my life's core as she loops her arms around my neck, holding on for dear life as my control finally, inevitably shatters.  

My buttocks clench as my member thrusts deep inside my Omega. As soon as it brushes every nerve ending, I withdraw almost entirely before surging thru her once more. My fevered thrusts so deep, so penetrating, I can no longer see as my clit is swept away in a sea of liquid heat so overpowering, I gasp as the exquisite ripples radiate thru my core, engulfing every fibre of my being in wave after wave of mind-numbing pleasure.  

I’m blinded by the strength of our orgasm as I kiss my life, ravaging her lips; deepening our climax to the point our core swells and contracts all over again. Alex moans against me, tearing her mouth away in desperate need of breath, before she bites my shoulder, sending my thrusts spiralling out of control.  

My entire body focuses on the punishing, driving thrusts of my member into my life’s sex as Alex tightens her hold around my neck, to anchor herself.  

 _Own me, my Alpha_ _..._ _take me._ _Ravage me_ _..._ _until we_ ' _re_ _sated._ _Ke_ _ep going my incredible... Alpha... I want this... I need this..._ _I need you..._  

 _Oh Lex!_ my mind howls as I come so completely, I fear my clitoris has collapsed in on itself, as my body is wracked with crescendo after crescendo that climbs and then falls from the precipice of exquisite bliss.  

 

Eventually, I take a breath. I halt my thrusts and subtly check on my Omega whose eyes are closed, subconsciously biting her lip as she rides the heady waves of spine-tingling orgasm. I wait until Alex opens her eyes, her cloudy blue orbs gleaming as she threads her fingers thru my hair. _Okay?_ My life nods her head; her chest shuddering with heart-breaking emotion as I lean down to kiss her forehead, her eyelids, her mouth. _I love you_. She takes a steadying breath as a soft whimper escapes her lips. _I will always love you_ _._ I wrap my arms around her, my member still inside her, safe and unthreatening, as the tortures of the last few days, weeks, months, years engulf her. 


	65. Love and War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Olivia relieve stress and talk.
> 
> Rating: Explicit Content

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I've uploaded another chapter to say a massively huge thank you for helping me reach 10,000 hits. Every reader, kudos leaver and commenter keeps this fiction going. 
> 
> Thank you for your support thus far.
> 
> Kudos and feedback stirs every writers creativity.

 

Again, I wake first; my life and I entangled in each other, in the sheets. _I could stay like this forever_... 

 _And me_... my Omega semi startles me with her response. Alex nuzzles in closer to my jaw as her fingers ghost across my stomach. _I never want to leave this room again_. My abdomen clenches with animal desire. 

 _After the ruling, it’s best we stay here for days, perhaps even weeks..._ I half-joke, subtly voicing one of my concerns for the first time.  

 _Hmmm..._ my life agrees, her nose pressed into my throat column, breathing in my scent. _God, you smell good Liv_... she whispers as her fingers travel up my rib cage to tease my left nipple.  

 _I’m not sure I can go another round_... my heart gives out as my Omega climbs on top of me, straddling me, her heated cloudy blue gaze pinning mine as her flaxen mane frames her startlingly beautiful face. Her hands kneed my breasts as she rocks, back and forth, against me. _Oh, Alex..._ I husk, as I grasp her chin to guide her lips down to mine.  

My life’s taste is more than enough. I flip us, to take my innately dominant position on top of her. I slowly kiss and nibble my way down her magnificent body, causing Alex to lean back on her elbows, her head thrown back, in desperation.  

 _Please, Liv. I'm..._ I feel my Omega start to buck as my mouth continues its tortuously slow journey to her apex. I stop at her navel, teasing her belly button with my tongue; my palms pinning her hips to avoid Alex hastening my descent. I play with my life’s abdomen until her soft muscles begin to shudder and tremble. _Jesus!_ Alex falls back onto the bed, her body overcome with carnal need, desperate for release. She thrashes her head side to side amongst the pillows, her golden locks tumbling over her face as her hands claw at my scalp, urgently trying to push me down to her sex.  

My tongue finally leaves her belly, trailing lower, ever closer to her core. _If you come before I allow it, I won’t touch you again until the verdict. Clear?_  

‘Oh God!’ Alex near screams, as my tongue makes absolute contact with her clit.  

 _Clear?_  

‘U...huh...’ my life utters unintelligibly, her features dancing with such ravenous heat, I almost relent. Almost. My tongue remains flat against her, my hands keeping her from bucking against me.  

I watch my Omega's panting chest, the ripple of her stomach muscles, the slight sway of her breasts, the tip of her tongue jutting between clenched teeth, as she strains against premature orgasm.  

I lap against her clit, causing her body to spasm involuntarily in innate response to my teasing. Alex grips my hair fiercely as I lick her again, forcing her to the edge of an oblivion I have not yet given her permission to unleash. I feel her thighs tense against my firm grip; tenacious in their goal to buck. _Not yet._  

 _Ooo_ _..._ _hhh_ _..._ I hold my Omega still as my tongue circles her with increasingly rapid strokes. My life releases my hair and grips the bed sheets instead, desperate, as my fingers finally join my tongue in stroking, licking and sucking her to the precipice. _Fucking... Christ... Olivia!_   

I stop; withdrawing my touch save my hands, holding her in position. _I said: not yet_. Alex growls into the pillows at my devilish teasing, causing my own clit to finally break under the heady pressures of overwhelming arousal. I shudder despite my best efforts to hide it. My Omega knows _exactly_ what’s just happened.  

 _If you don’t allow me to come in the next five seconds... so help me Olivia... Benson... I will... kill... y..._ my tongue and fingers immediately assault her senses; flicking, stroking and teasing every swollen nerve ending, until my life is tumbling down the sheer rock face of unadulterated ecstasy.  

 

I wake a third time to Alexandra gazing at me. I rub my eyes as my core clenches painfully. _No more..._  

 _No more,_ she relents, knowing our rigorous love-making is going to be the death of me. My life lifts her hand to caress my cheekbone, her eyes iridescent and glowing. 

‘We need to talk; to each other, to Huang, to Liz,’ I speak the words that have silently been plaguing my mind. 

 _I know_ , my Omega agrees as her finger dances across my lips. I take her hand in mine, to stop her distracting us.  

‘After the verdict, whatever the outcome, we’ll need all the help we can get,’ I finally say, as I cradle her face to ensure she _hears_ me. 

‘If they get off, they’ll kill me,’ Alex utters with such a heart-breaking whimper, I crush her to me.  

‘There is _no_ way they’ll get off. Two of them _admitted_ to brutalising you on the stand...’ 

‘But the instigator may walk out of court, tomorrow, a free man,’ my life’s anxiety is palpable as she shares her worst fears.  

‘He will be convicted of false imprisonment and sexual assault _at least_.’ 

‘He semen suggests sex, not rape. The jury may have reasonable doubt, _especially_ as the other two strays admitted to violently assaulting me. There may be insufficient evidence to convict him,’ she continues to argue, her features furrowed with gut-wrenching uncertainty.  

I steer her chin until her eyes reconnect with mine. ‘If he does get released, for any reason, Kate will immediately file formal charges against him. This, and her original statement, will be enough to instantly place him back in custody.’ I brush away tears from her cheek hollows. ‘He _can’t_ touch you,’ I stress, my voice breaking. 

‘If there’s one thing I’ve learnt, it’s that _anybody_ who wants me, wants to abuse me, _will_ ,’ Alex speaks her heart-wrenching truth.  

‘That lesson is changing since I’ve been your Alpha,’ I counter as I embrace her shaking form. 

‘I can’t lose you,’ my life whispers, clutching me in utter desperation; as though she will drown without me. 

‘You _never_ will,’ I state with fierce certainty. 

‘I'm... I’m terrified transitioning will change my scent; will stop you loving me.’ 

I freeze, my heart imploding. I finally lean back to meet my life’s soul-searching gaze. My hands frame her face once more. ‘First, you will _enthral_ me until the moment I die. Your scent is a miniscule factor in your worth, your significance, your draw to me. I _love_ you. Second, Liz has never even eluded to her transition making her fall out of love with your grandmother. Her love _still_ pours off of her. Can you not _see_ it? _Third_ , are you _willing_ to risk the most heinous of deaths, _every single day,_ to _keep_ me, _considering_ the aforementioned arguments?’ 

My Omega collapses into my body, her willowy frame folding in on itself; my arms enveloping her trembling form. _I knew this would happen_. _I’ll be damned if you torture yourself_ , _for all eternity._  

‘After the trial...’ Alex takes a lung-bursting breath in an attempt to calm herself. ‘... you and I will both need to work, to live. How the hell do we do that now we have hordes of people after us? Our relationship..?’ 

‘But hordes of people are _with_ us,’ I stress, brushing the hair from her face as our eyes meet once more. ‘I’ll make it clear though: you _will_ need to transition...’ I voice my one absolute certainty.  

Alexandra Cabot stares at me for an interminable amount of time. I swallow thickly, my heart in my stomach. She frees herself from my embrace. _Shit!_  

‘We don’t know how it works; _if_ it _will_ work, Liv! It’ll be rape, no matter which way we look at it,’ my Omega’s spirited anger is almost more welcome than her brokenness. _My love._  

‘We _need_ to speak to the person whose been thru it. But I genuinely believe if you successfully transition, you’ll be more powerful than Donnelly,’ I state honestly, watching my reason for living pace the room. 

‘Can we take one step at a time?’ Alex near begs as she faces me, her arms crossed over her abdomen. ‘Let’s survive this fucking car crash of a case first...’  

I immediately rise from the bed and approach my life. ‘Can I touch you?’ My Omega nods her head, her face nuzzling into my shoulder as I embrace her. ‘I’m sorry. It’s... with the case almost over, I’m starting to...’ 

 _... worry about the future?_ Alex finishes for me as her hands rest around my shoulders. _Welcome to my world Liv!_ I wince, stung by her thoughts. Her fingers begin stroking the hair at my nape. ‘ _Jesus!_ My Alpha. I'm sorry... I'm...’ 

‘... understandably stressed as hell?’ I feel my life nod into my bare flesh. ‘We _will_ win today, tomorrow... They _will_ be sent down for the rests of their lives. They _will_ find out what it _feels_ like to be helpless and have every orifice torn open.’ My skin prickles with vengeful glee as Alex shudders in my arms. ‘Then we will figure out the next step, _together_ , with Fin’s, Kate’s, Huang's _and_ Liz's help,’ I whisper into my life’s hair. 

Alex's phone causes us both to jolt in surprise and stiffen in dread. My life picks up her cell. She takes a steadying breath as she looks up. ‘It’s Liz.’ 


	66. Inconceivable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liv, Alex and Fin experience something they never thought they'd have to, again.
> 
> You'll either hate or love me for this one. Read to the very end before completely hating me.
> 
> Rating: Very Mature Content

‘What’s happening Liz?’ Alex asks, concerned. The pause kills me. I watch for any signs of discomfort from my Omega. ‘Okay, that’s a good idea. I’ll let Liv know.’ I exhale with relief as I wait for my life to end the call.  

She paces the bedroom, a hand running thru her hair, as her iridescent eyes smile into mine. _Alex_. My life turns away from me, realising the impact her stare, her movements, her voice are having on my ricocheting heart and swollen clitoris.  

‘Liz... um... we need to talk after this... about my grandmother... transitioning... Yes, okay... Thank you. We’ll wait for your call.’ She faces me, her eyes staring at her cell; relief radiating from her every pore. ‘The jury will still be deliberating from 9am but Liz suggested we stay home until the verdict comes in.’ I smile, genuinely smile, for the first time in too long. ‘Why risk being shot, raped, both?’ my life continues as I wrap my arms around her; her limbs following suit within seconds.  

 _She may be a haughty bitch but she’s our haughty bitch_ , I concede, my ambivalence towards Donnelly taking a five-minute break.  

 _I think you’ll like her more once I transition,_ Alex guesses perceptively.  

I withdraw slightly so I can cradle her face, my thumbs stroking her cheekbones. _I don’t want to force you_... I worry, thinking of my domineering stance earlier.  

 _You aren’t_ . My life begins stroking my forearm as I search her cloudy blues. _My heat is only two weeks away, though they seem to be coming closer together. Almost as though my body is fighting your protection, to keep me as vulnerable as possible. My own body is working against me. It makes me sick!_ my Omega vents as she tries to negate my thoughts of forcing her. _I can’t survive another assault. I’m becoming... USED to not being assaulted. No one has successfully raped me since you became my Alpha,_ Alex’s eyes continue to burn mine as her thoughts run thru my head. _But I’m terrified Liv. I’m terrified you’ll see me differently..._  

 _‘Never!’_  

‘Our relationship _will_ change. The dynamics could potentially flip, entirely. _If_ it _even_ works... What if I can’t do it? What if I can’t let Omi or Kate, or whoever, touch me? What if they _have_ to rape me for successful transition..? And what if it _doesn’t_ work? How many times will I have to..?’ 

Tears start rolling down her cheeks, my thumbs wiping them away as I interrupt her turmoil. ‘Hey,’ I whisper forcefully. Alex's distant eyes refocus on me. ‘One step at a time, remember? Trial first. Everything else can wait,’ I stress softly as my life grips my hands. ‘ _Especially_ now you’ll only have to climb those damned steps for the verdict and sentencing.’ I gaze into her iridescent orbs, her cheeks wet from tears. ‘ _Today_ , we do all we can to recover, until we get the call. Okay?’ I suggest, waiting for my Omega’s acquiesce.  

 _Okay_. 

 _Eat, love, wash, sleep. Perhaps trawl your fan sites?_  

 _Yes, my Alpha,_ she affirms, nuzzling into my right palm as my fingers trace the scar above her left eye.  

 _I love you, my heroin._  

 _I love you more, my everything_.   

 

Monday, 2:36pm: Nine days later

Two weeks to the day since the trial began, we _finally_ get the call. 

Alex is editing her ‘guilty' and ‘not guilty' speeches as her cell starts buzzing. _Liz!_ She looks up at me, cleaning my gun whilst sat opposite her. _Finally!_ I freeze, holding my piece in mid-air as my life answers. ‘Liz?!’ She gives me a definitive nod. Instantly, I stalk to Fin's room, knowing he’s asleep or he’d have heard our thoughts. 

‘It's time,’ I say hurriedly, rocking him awake before leaving his room to be with my Omega. 

I re-enter the kitchen to find my life circling the island, her fingers laced at her nape as she tries to contain her nerves. 

The day we have been dreading and waiting for. Now that it’s here, the conflicting relief and bone-shaking anxiety is palpable and wreaking havoc on Alex’s status quo. I envelope her in my arms. _I’m here. I will remain here. We will get thru this, no matter the verdict. I love you_ , I mantra into her soul. _We are rested. We are strong. We are ready_. 

The nine days had started out as a blessing. But they soon became relentless groundhog days filled with over-analysis and anxiety. _We’ve been ready for days._  

 _I love you more_ , Alex states with certainty though I know it’s not possible. 

I feel Fin’s presence. ‘Well, let’s do this bitches,’ he quips, trying to dispel the tension. 

‘You’ll have to stop calling us that,’ I retort, serious. 

Fin waits a beat then grins. ‘Okay. Let’s do this, Heroin and Shero.’ We smile at his attempts to melt us. It’s working. 

Only when I voice: _let’s go,_ does the pack move.  

 

45 minutes later   

We approach the Supreme Courthouse entrance; our hearts in our mouths at the sight before us. The whole world and her wife are congregated outside the building. _Fuck!_  

‘ _Fuck!’_  

At a snail’s pace, I manoeuvre our vehicle thru the dense crowd. _We should’ve changed cars_ , I belatedly realise as the mob recognises it and start beating their hands on every surface. 

I side-glance my Omega. I know she’s one trigger away from panicking at this hellish situation. I try to stem my own anxiety as the mob prevents us from moving further forward. 

We’re at least 100 feet from the steps. The mob is so dense, our security detail won’t have noticed our arrival.  

 _Breathe,_ I say as much to myself as the others. I retrieve my cell and call the head of security.   

‘Hi, this is Detective Olivia Benson. We’re about 100 feet east of the steps. The crowd is too dense. We can’t get thru.’ One of the mob attempts to smash Alex's passenger side window, causing her to flinch away, her hands clawing at my skin. _No!_ ‘They’re trying to get to A... Miss Cabot. _Fucking_ help us!’ I scream as more fists rain down on the windows.  

 _Liv!_ my Omega breathes frantically as her window shatters. I unholster my piece and aim it, leaning over my life to protect her body. Hands start clawing at us even though my weapon is within inches of them. ‘ _Stop. Think_ about what you’re doing or I'll start shooting!’ I warn, never more certain of anything in my life. Surprisingly, some back off. 

My heart stops beating when I hear the back-window buckle. _Fin!_ I turn quickly and watch in horror as my best friend is wrenched from the car, his weapon useless on the back seat, his eyes conveying a fear I've never seen in them before. _‘Don’t!’_ I yell as I try to grab his boot, but the pull is too strong. _‘No!_ _Fin! Fuck!’_ I scream at the top of my lungs as he is engulfed by the mob.  

Others start climbing thru the back window. _Get in the foot well_ , I command. My Omega moves instantly. I cover her trembling form with mine, knowing I won’t have enough bullets to fend them off.  

I aim my weapon thru the side window, into the air. I shoot one shot before my piece is wrestled from my grasp. ‘ _Fuck! Fucking... No!’_ I howl as tens of people grapple for a piece of _my_ Alex.   

I actively wince as my shirt is torn from my body; hands ripping clumps of hair from my scalp. _Argh!_ I can’t silence an internal cry of agony as one of our attackers stabs me with a sharp implement. _Fucking Christ!_ I bite my lip to stop my agony outwardly feeding their hunger. I take a breath. _I’m here. I... love you... I..._  

 _LIV! Please Liv!_ my Omega begs, the tone of her thoughts; horrifying. 

My body almost entirely shields my life but still their hands, their _fucking_ hands, find her. I hear gasps of pleasure all around me, as the mob experiences the power of a pure bloods flesh for the first time. _No, no, no!_  

My every fibre cringes with seething disgust and utter terror as we hear Fin’s wails and inner most thoughts, flooding our minds with heinous images of what the mob is doing to our ‘gentle one'.  

 _Please, God no!_ Alex's mind bellows, in utter desolation.  

 _Jesus Christ! Fucking no!_ I cry brokenly. An utterance too small to convey the absolute horror and despair violating my packs synapses _._  

I audibly keen in open helplessness as the sharp tool continues to stab my body. Hands and teeth tear at my bare back; violating fingers successfully grope my breasts as I try to make us as small as possible. 

 _I... love...you, Liv, Omi_ . _I’m... so sorry_... Alex's words fill my mind, conveying such heart-breaking guilt and a certainty that these are our last moments. I feel her willowy form shudder and tremble uncontrollably as more fingers abuse our flesh. I grit my teeth and close my eyes, waiting for the killer blow. 

 _I love you Lex..._ The last thing I remember: the acrid stench of ammonia as my mind conjures one last thought... _Fin!_  

 

Later... 

I’m aware of the beeping; the closeness of someone leaning over me... My eyelids jolt open in fear, finding myself staring into gentle brown orbs. _Cap_ . Tears instantly spring to my eyes. Waking to the sympathetic features of Donald Cragen is _never_ a good sign.  

 _Where’s..._ _Alex..?_ _Fin?_ Only when he doesn’t respond do I remember he’s not a pack member. ‘Al..? Fin..?’ I strain to verbalise my immediate concerns; my body too weak to move. 

‘Both are alive and safe, Liv. Alex and Fin are going to be okay,’ my Captain tries to reassure me as my heart batters my rib cage. 

‘Where?’ 

‘In a secure unit with only Omega nurses and doctors...’ 

‘But... Alex..?’ I query, alarmed, knowing my life isn’t safe, not even around Omegas. 

‘Miss Cabot has 24-hour security with at least three highly vetted, _safe_ guards. She is also under constant supervision via video feed, by three _further_ vetted, safe guards,’ Don attempts to dampen my rioting adrenaline. ‘And if anything, _anything_ at all happens to her, you have my permission to _kill_ every last one of them!’ he concludes heatedly, tears brimming in his eyes as he sits down in the chair beside me. 

‘Where... _are_ they?’ 

‘A wall, a half metre thick secure door and a security detail away.’ 

I close my eyes and start to cry. _So close... yet..._  

‘Do you want to know your status, Liv?’ he asks softly, after a minute of silence.  

‘What’s their status?’ I ignore his question, my thoughts everywhere but on me.  

Cragen pauses for a moment, reigniting my already surging adrenaline. ‘Miss Cabot...’ 

‘Cap?!’ I urge him to speak with every twitch of my little finger. 

‘Miss Cabot had a minor heart atta...’ 

‘Wha..!??’ I try to sit up but find myself held down by my own fragility. I audibly groan in heart-breaking frustration. 

‘She’s _stable_ and out of intensive care. Miss Cabot will make a _full_ recovery, Olivia,’ he shares as my chest heaves. _No... no... no... no..._ ‘She is _safe_ and out of the woods, Detective.’  

Tears collect in my clavicles; my soul dying at the thought of Alex experiencing such intense panic and anxiety, she has suffered a heart attack at the age of 33 years old. _My love, I’m so sorry_ . _If only I’d changed cars; fucking shot them when I had the chance; not driven you to your..._  

‘Liv? Liv?’ I hear Cragen try to ground me. ‘Doc...!’ 

 

I wake to the same beeps, the strangely familiar feeling of someone leaning over me. I open my eyes and acclimatise to the light. A nurse is replacing my IV _. IV..._ the thought immediately takes me back to my withdrawal from Alex... _My love. Safe. Out of the woods... Fin?_ ‘Fin... Fin?’ I call out to anybody listening. 

‘It's Don, Liv. I’m here,’ Cragen whispers from my right. 

‘How’s Fin?’ I ask, my voice stronger.  

Don's face comes into my line of vision. _Why can’t I move my head? ‘_ He... he was beaten... and sodomised,’ he admits, his face white as a sheet. _Oh God! No!_ My tears freefall once more, already knowing this heinous truth. _Our minds couldn’t escape it. Lex heard it too. That’s what caused... Oh Jesus!_ ‘But he’s alive and awake at last report. He wanted to be alone.’ _No shit, fucking Sherlock!_ ‘He won’t _even_ let Munch visit,’ Cragen continues as I try to stay with him. ‘He only wanted you, Alex, or Kate.’ 

‘Kate’s been to see him?’ I ask, hopeful. _She will understand more than most._  

‘Yes, every day so far,’ Don answers, obviously relieved he can share some good news. I’m surprised to hear my Captain chuckle. ‘You know, he tried to leave on Wednesday to be by Miss Cabot’s side.’ _Oh Fin._ My chest shudders as renewed tears fill my eyes. 

A thought suddenly turns my stomach. ‘Has Kate tried to see Alex?’  

‘No,’ Cragen answers immediately. ‘She wanted to wait and ask for your permission first.’ _Good girl,_ I relax slightly. 

‘You said Wednesday?’ I query, going back to his earlier point. ‘What day...?’ 

‘It’s Thursday. Fin woke Tuesday morning and you today.’  

My heartbeat skyrockets as my lungs ricochet against my ribcage. ‘And Lex?’ 

Cragen looks me straight in the eye for the first time. ‘Miss Cabot is in a medically induced coma until tomorrow. _But,_ only to give her heart time to recover,’ Cragen adds quickly, knowing I’ll question him. ‘We felt if Miss Cabot knew you were incapacitated, it might cause her added strain. So, we decided it was best medically, and emotionally, to keep her under deep sedation for several days. Until we were sure you'd pull thru,’ he offers. 

‘Would you have put her down if I hadn’t?’ I seethe, furious that Alex is heartbreakingly vulnerable to further abuse. Her life and consciousness seemingly less important than mine.  

‘ _Liv!_ ’ Cragen snaps. ‘Get your head out of Miss Cabot's crotch and into the living for a _second!_ You were stabbed _seventeen_ times. I don’t know how you held on until we got to you,’ Cragen voices, his pitch softening in awe.  

I ignore his words, my mind too overwhelmed to compute them. ‘Alex _isn’t_ some passing crush, Don. And withdrawals going to hit me pretty quick. Huang...’ 

‘I know. That’s what _terrifies_ me,’ Cragen admits. ‘Huang's visited and ensured the _right_ IV's are administered to you,’ he replies more confidently. 

‘He can’t until the case... the verdict, is announced,’ I state, my brow furrowing in confusion. _The last shreds of adhering to any conflict of interests._

‘The verdicts in, Liv.’ _What?_ ‘Judge Donnelly thought it best to serve the verdict, so as not to cause problems for Miss Cabot. The defence could have argued a mistrial and/or inhumane prison time if this had limbo-ed.’ I look at Cragen sharply, unable to believe my ears. _Please God, let them be locked up!_ ‘Do you want me to...’ 

‘ _Stop_. _All_ I need to hear right now is, is it good news? Are they going away for the _rest_ of their lives?’ I stare at him, my heart faltering. 

‘ _Yes_ , Liv. Obviously sentencing will be delayed... but _yes_ , _ev_ _ery_ one of them is going to rot in general pop, until the day they die.’ 

A cry escapes my lips; the conflicting relief at the verdict and the bone-shattering anxiety for my most important pack members, finally, inevitably engulfs me. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter will be up this afternoon.


	67. Reunited

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Injuries are assessed.  
> The pack is reunited.
> 
> Rating: Mature Content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it... Dogged Determination is coming to a close.

I hear him come in. I keep my eyes closed for several more seconds. For once, my pain med induced sleep was wonderfully void of nightmares, of horror, of hellish trauma. I silently loathe that he woke me.

_ George? _

No response.

‘George?’

‘Hi Olivia,’ he acknowledges me in his perpetually calm voice. ‘Mind if I take a look at your notes?’ I appreciate him not asking ridiculous questions like ‘How are you doing?’ or ‘How has this left you feeling?’ 

I currently swing between all-consuming guilt, soul-shattering anxiety for my life, for Fin, and molten rage so scorching hot, I know I’ll kill people  _ if _ I ever leave this bed. 

‘Go ahead,’ I acquiesce, finally opening my eyes and taking in the non-threatening form of the Beta Psychiatrist.

Huang looks thru my notes for such an interminable length of time, I lose my head.  _ Okay, I’ll bite. _

‘Talk to me,’ I almost plead as he continues looking at my clipboard.

‘Well, it’s better than we feared,’ he says, raising his eyes to look at me for the first time.  _ How can it be better? _ ‘For one, your spinal cord is intact,’ George seems to answer my internal question.  _ When I said talk to me, I meant about Alex, Fin, sentencing. ANYTHING but me.  _ ‘As a result, we’ve, well your doctor, has removed your neck brace...’ 

I immediately test my neck, moving it slowly, carefully. It’s stiff, but I’m able to turn it.  _ Thank Christ!  _ I sigh, surprising both of us. It’s only then I realise how terrified I was, thinking I may be paralysed.

I know what he’s doing and it’s working. ‘How bad am I?’ 

George looks me squarely in the eye then; his expression conveying his approval that I have some self-concern left. ‘Your attacker stabbed you 17 times, Olivia; with what we can only assume to be a biro pen. You were stabbed in the hands, upper arms and back. You have a particularly deep wound to your right side, that punctured your lung,’ Huang continues, as my mind pleads with him to stop. I’ve heard enough but I can’t tear my eyes away from him. ‘They, and we, were worried it nicked your spinal cord but scans found this not to be the case,’ George gazes at me with a softness I don’t appreciate;  _ sympathy _ . ‘Most of your injuries are flesh wounds, which is  _ incredible _ considering. They did have to drain your right lung though. You will have a weakness, there, for the rest of your life. But, due to your high fitness level, it shouldn’t cause day to day problems,’ he finally stops, allowing me time to process. 

‘How long do I have to stay here?’ I ask, as I try to sit up. My heavily bandaged hands make this task almost impossible, but not quite. 

George rushes to my side. ‘ _ Careful _ , Olivia. You’ll do yourself more damage,’ he warns; his hands not quite touching me but his actions screaming that he wants me to lie back down. I remain sat up out of a sheer stubbornness to have control over  _ something _ . ‘You really are the most stubborn person I’ve ever met!’

‘Careful Beta. I may yet take a swing at you,’ I joke breathlessly, but my meaning isn’t lost on the highly perceptive doctor:  _ back off.  _

Huang answers my earlier question. ‘You’ll stay here for at least another five days, possible more if you keep being pig-headed.’ 

My mind wanders. ‘Alex will definitely be in heat by then,’ I state aloud, wondering how I’ll protect her.

‘Alex will stay here until her heat is over.’

‘Do you trust the doctors, nurses and security staff?’ I query, surprising him. 

‘They are  _ all _ safe, like me.’

‘If they’re safe for Alex, they won’t be for Fin... And you aren’t safe for him either,’ I identify a potential flaw.

‘Being a Beta, with conscience, makes me Switzerland. I have no designs on Fin. And all the staff are either willingly, castrated males or asexual,’ George replies cryptically, causing my mind to blaze with further questions. 

‘Where did you get...?’

‘My study.’  _ Ah _ . 

‘You did all this?’ I gesture to our secure and self-contained medical unit. 

‘Yes,’ George admits almost shyly.

‘Why?’ I ask, unable to believe someone would be  _ this _ kind,  _ even _ Huang.

‘Because I am equal measures enthralled and intrigued by the power and control you possess. The spirit Alex possesses. The psychological dynamics of your relationship is more fascinating than... I don’t know... You’re the rarest of phenomena and I feel a draw to help, to protect you in any way I can.’

‘Thank you. But if you ever treat us like an experiment, I will kill you,' I half warn, causing George to chuckle slightly. 

‘Understood.’

After several minutes of silence, I focus on what’s most important. ‘I want Alex brought into my room...’

‘Not a good idea...’ 

I seethe. ‘What the fuck...?’

‘Think about the strain that’ll put on the both of you,  _ especially _ on Alex's heart,’ he tries to reason. ‘I know how you feel about each other. If you’re in the same vicinity, you won’t be able to keep your hands off each other,’ Huang says with certainty.

I glare at him. ‘I have proven I can stop myself...’

‘But has Alex?’ the clever doctor counters. The silence speaks volumes. ‘Alex hasn’t had to stop herself with you as she knows you’re programmed to want her,  _ all _ the time.  _ Imagine _ the pressure her weakened heart will be under if you...’

‘So, you’re saying I can’t see her until  _ after _ she’s out of heat?’ I interrupt him; anger raging thru my veins.

‘I’m saying  _ if _ you decide to see her during her heat, you may be signing her death warrant.’ 

We stare at each other for several beats. ‘Can I see her  _ before _ she’s in heat? I’m assuming Alex isn’t in heat right now?’ I ask more calmly, having felt the pressure build uncomfortably in my side. 

Huang softens. ‘Of course. It’s best you see her sooner rather than later. She’s been asking for you.’ My fragile control dissolves on hearing this.

‘She’s awake?’ I seek clarification, as my eyes rebel against me.

‘Yes. She was brought round an hour ago...’

‘Why didn’t...’

‘If Alex had had any set-backs...’

‘... it would’ve killed me?’ George nods his head slowly. ‘Is  she..? ’

‘She’s fine, Olivia. Your Omega is currently being medicated with  Nitroglycerin and beta-blockers, to ease the burden on her heart.’ I nod my head this time. 

‘And Fin?’ George raises his eyebrows in  surprise .

‘You really have formed a pack haven’t you?’ he states more than asks, his eyes holding intrigue and awe. 

‘Tell me about Fin,’ I repeat, frustrated.  _ Breathe _ .

‘He’s is doing well. He sat with you for several hours this morning, before he visited Alex.’  _ Oh Fin... my life hasn’t been completely alone... _ I close my eyes and let this information wash over me.

When I open them, George is looking at me with an expression I haven’t seen in his eyes before; his stoicism gone.

‘What?’

‘Your loyalty is astounding, Olivia.’

Renewed tears prickle my eyes. ‘Tell that to my pure blood Omega, who suffered a heart attack due to  _ my _ poor judgement, and my second Omega, who was beaten... because I  _ chose _ to shield my life partner,’ I verbalise the guilt crushing my soul.

‘Olivia,’ George whispers, as he squats beside the bed. ‘You aren’t some super hero, with super human powers to foresee the future and fight off hundreds of people at a time.’  _ Christ, I know that _ . ‘You’re a human being, who happens to be an incredibly powerful Alpha. Being Alpha doesn’t make you invincible! Being  _ you _ , makes you invincible.’ 

It takes me a minute to compute what he’s saying.  _ What? _

‘I’ve never heard of a pure blood Omega _mating_ _consensually_ with an Alpha. Let alone, an Alpha choosing to _life-partner_ a pure blood Omega who's willing to stick both fingers up at our heinously, hierarchical society; _causing_ the case of the century. Let alone, an Alpha who welcomes a second Omega, so _doubling_ her burden. Let alone, an Alpha _willing_ to put her life, her career, _everything_ at risk for a pure blood who is so physically vulnerable.’ 

I blink back tears; uncomfortable with his praise. ‘I appreciate everything you’ve done for me and my pack. I can’t thank you enough. But I  _ need _ to see Alex now,’ I voice, hoping I sound sincere considering every fibre of my being is focused on one thing: my Omega.

George smiles as he stands. ‘Okay,’ he says simply. Then: ‘Just to warn you; the meds Alex is currently taking, may make her seem a little spaced out.' Huang walks to the adjoining door before turning back to me. _ I seem to be part of it... _

My eyebrows climb into my hairline.  _ You’re... _

_ Yes.  _ My eyes defeat me once again, as another member of my pack reveals himself.  _ I will research, protect and serve you in any way I can, until the day... _

_ You’ve more than proven that George,  _ I admit as my breathing hitches.  _ I hope to repay the favour one day _ . 

_ Oh Olivia, you have no idea how impactful, you and Alex stepping into my life has been. _

_ Yeah, instead of waking up to orange juice, you have no doubt had death threats since your testimony.  _

_ Nothing I can’t hand _ le, George shrugs nonchalantly.  _ And the support is there. They’re coming Olivia. This case and, to a lesser extent, my study are bringing out the Omegas...  _ He steps towards the door. _ I’ll go get her... _

_ George! Call me Liv,  _ Huang nods a _ gain. How will this work?  _

_ We’ll figure it out. But what you were discussing the other day, needs to happen. If Alex doesn’t transition, she and you, will continue to be...  _ George changes tact.  _ Alexandra Cabot is the first and only warrior for Omega rights. If she dies, all this will have been for nothing.  _

We look at each other for a long minute.  _ Do you know anything about transition? Successful transition? _

_ I started researching after I heard you and Alex talking about it. I’ll keep looking. _

_ Thank you.  _ ‘George,’ he fully meets my watery eyes. ‘Thank you. For  _ everything _ .’

‘You’re welcome, Liv,’ he smiles as he steps thru the partition door.

Moments later, the front of a bed pushes thru it; an eager goddess, sat atop her chariot, leans forward to catch her first glimpse of her heroin.  _ Alex!  _ I breathe as my gut drops to the floor on seeing my life for the first-time in...  _ what day is it? _ I realise I don’t care as George pushes Alex’s bed right up against mine.

‘Now, no lowering the bars to make this a double bed. If either of you fall between them...’ he leaves the rest of the warning unsaid as he retraces his steps. ‘Your buzzers are on your beds.’  _ Oh, and it’s Friday Liv, _ he offers as he leaves us. 

I turn to my beautiful Omega, my eyes drinking her in as though for the first time; my parched senses rehydrated by her intoxication. Her eyes falter, staring at the void George just left with a querying look before her cloudy blues meet my searching gaze. I notice a similar urgency in her iridescent orbs as we assess each other, silently evaluating the damage to our most treasured other _. _

I try to stem the ready tears.  _ I’m so sorry _ , our minds voice in unison. I offer her my bandaged hands. My life ignores them. Instead, she removes her medical suckers...  _ No Lex. _ .. before joining me in my narrow hospital bed; her willowy frame flush against my left side, her arms cradling my body, my head in the crook of her neck. 

My Omega continues to hold me as we cry; our bodies shaking, our stomachs clenching, our souls weeping, as we rejoice in our life partner’s touch, her scent.

The silence and her hold tell me everything I need to know:  _ We are alive. We are  _ _ each others _ _ counter  _ _ point. _ _ We are one. _

Sometime later, a sound wakes us. I'm instantly aware my life is still holding me in her arms, her chin resting on my crown.  _ Heaven _ .

I open my eyes to see the only sight that could better heaven.  _ Fin! _ My lips begin to shake as I blink;  _ desperately _ wanting to believe my two most important people are with me, are alive.

He’s standing next to our bed, his frame supported by a pair of crutches, his face bruised, his expression exhausted. But his eyes hold a fire only promise and hope can spark.

Both Alex and I reach for him as we cry in earnest. Three adults overcome with relief and a shared connection, that  _ even _ the most dangerous of circumstances can’t break. 

Nothing breaks my heart more than seeing the tears rush down Fin's cheeks; the feel of tears moistening my scalp. 

Nothing needs to be said. Our love for one another is enough.  _ We are one _ . 

A knock at the door signals another visitor.  _ Come in,  _ I allow as we hastily wipe our tears.

A familiar face pokes thru the door, her eyes the least certain I’ve ever seen them. Her expression changes on seeing her ‘ _ children _ ’ all in one place.

_ You pup’s sure know how to cause a drama!  _ Liz attempts humour, as she awkwardly places two bouquets of flowers and a beer (for Fin) on my bedside table.

_ What are you doing here?  _ Alex asks, her tone almost accusatory. All three of us take in the deathly serious expression on my Omega’s face.

_ I’ve wavered sentencing to  _ _ Petrovski _ , Liz explains. Comprehension floods Fin and I.  _ You know she’s fair and just. I... I couldn’t stay away. Forgive me. _

Alex offers Donnelly her hand.  _ There’s nothing to forgive. I’m sorry for snapping _ . My life takes a breath. _ Thank you for making this trial possible.  _

We let out the collective breath we’d been holding as sensibility resumes. Renewed tears cloud our vision.

_ Anyone else planning on joining us? _ I question, bizarrely amused and elated by our growing pack. 

_ Kate’s outside but she doesn’t  _ _ wanna _ _ intrude or make Alex feel threatened or uncomfortable, _ Fin offers as everyone looks at my life. 

_ It’s up to you _ , I voice when Alex glances at me.

_ Perhaps don’t force her to meet the whole family just yet _ , my Omega suggests, always empathetic.

_ Well, she knows Liv, you and me. Just Donnelly to get over... _

_ Poor thing!  _ Liz chimes in good naturedly, having had nothing more to do with Kate than keeping her in line, in the courtroom.

_ And George.. _ . I confess, surprising only Donnelly. 

_ The psychiatrist _ ? Alex and I nod.  _ Figures _ .

_ Hmm? _ I query, wondering what Liz is getting at.

_ So, you’ve got a psychiatrist, a detective, a judge and one hell of an attorney in your arsenal. Impressive. Isn’t Kate a resident? _

_ Is he still here? _

_ George? No. He's got a job to do, don’t you know?  _ Fin replies, his humour melting our hearts. 

‘I think we need to talk...’ my life’s beautiful voice permeates the room. ‘... about the kind of future, we  _ want _ to have. One that  _ doesn’t _ involve further trauma...’ she looks at each of us in turn, her iridescent eyes moist but glowing. ‘I know what I have to do, to prevent your lives continually being at risk... to stop...  _ this _ ,’ she gestures towards us.

_ We all chose to be here, Meg, _ Fin argues, as he cautiously lowers himself into a bedside chair.

_ Meg? _

_ Not important right now!  _ I snap at Donnelly.

My life continues before Liz can retort. ‘Once I’m well enough, I’ll attempt  transition as many times as is necessary until I’m...’

_ You’ll only need to do it once, Alex. Your key requirement: initiation.  _ We all stare at Liz.  _ What? _

_ How do you know, for sure, that simply initiating will work for me? My status is different to your original... _

_ Because I knew of someone else who successfully transitioned.  _ Our shoulders are suddenly hundreds of pounds lighter _. They died of natural causes before you ask _ , Liv adds, reading Alex’s mind.

‘You’ve just...’ my life can’t finish; her entire body trembling with overwhelming relief that she will ‘ _ only’ _ need to be intimate with one more person, an Omega, one  _ final _ time.  _ One more time _ , my life repeats, the idea almost alien to her, until she met her Alpha. 

Alex glances at me, her eyes searching as she swallows thickly.  _ I love you, my Olivia. _

_ I love you, my Alexandra _ .

‘Once is enough, Alex,’ Donnelly reassures her, as my arms tighten around the being most dear to me. ‘You’ll never be raped or go into heat as you know it, again. People will quake in submission,  _ if _ you  _ allow _ them to touch you,’ she adds, with certainty.

I hear  shallow breathes beside me. I turn, finding Fin drenched in tears. I offer him my bandaged hand. He takes it.  _ There’s hope for every Omega, Fin.  _ He nuzzles my wrist, his meaning clear.

‘Once... once my transition is complete, as long as I find a...’ Alex takes a wavering breath, not wishing to assume Fin will be  _ that _ Omega, especially given his recent experiences. ‘... there will be  _ hell _ to pay.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish to thank everybody who has stayed with this to the end. Special thanks to those who thought it worthy of bookmarks or kudos. Especially special thanks to those who left kudos and feedback. For those who continued to kudos and comment, week in, week out, I can't convey how much your support have meant to me. An extra special thanks to two kudos leaving, commenters who have openly admitted to re-reading this before I've even finished it. I love you two weirdos (Mez64 and Chely99) <3.
> 
> This fiction has taken quite a bit out of me to write and I can imagine, out of you all to read. It hasn't been an overly happy tale but I hope there have been flashes of empowerment, love, joy and humour in amongst the terror. 
> 
> I will be back with Dogged Determination: Rebellion (working title). I haven't started it yet. I may take a couple of weeks off as this has become quite consuming. Please feel free to subscribe to my profile so you get the notification when I begin uploading DD: R. 
> 
> All continued bookmarks, kudos and feedback/comments are always welcome and much appreciated.
> 
> Thank you so much peeps.
> 
> AW <3


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